Disempowerment of Boys - and Girls - by their Mothers. Douglas Gillette ("Men and Intimacy") in Wingspan, p. 53, notes that mothers' behavior towards their teenaged sons, ranges "from subtle attempts to undermine her son's masculine pride and exuberance to rageful displays of jealousy when he begins dating." It is my observation and experience that mothers do the same thing to their daughters, perhaps tolerating a tomboy phase with indulgent laughing it off attitude only to attack and sqeulch it later, in any case assuming "she will outgrow it." The savage reactions of one mother I knew of to her daughter's going to after school (on premises) dances and having boyfriends, as late as in her late twenties and early thirties, was classic of this. I really identified with this Douglas Gillette quote when I read it. David Kundtz in Men and Feelings says "Women want men who are both strong and protective and sensitive with feeling. "Men seem to be less clear but I believe most men want women to be both feeling and nurturing and competitive and rational." End of File.
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