Disempowerment of Boys - and Girls - by their Mothers.


Douglas Gillette ("Men and Intimacy") in Wingspan, p. 53, notes that mothers' behavior towards their 
teenaged sons, ranges "from subtle attempts to undermine her son's masculine pride and exuberance to 
rageful displays of jealousy when he begins dating."


It is my observation and experience that mothers do the same thing to their daughters, perhaps 
tolerating a tomboy phase with indulgent laughing it off attitude only to attack and sqeulch it later, in 
any case assuming "she will outgrow it." The savage reactions of one mother I knew of to her daughter's
going to after school (on premises) dances and having boyfriends, as late as in her late twenties and
early thirties, was classic of this. I really identified with this Douglas Gillette quote when I read 
it.


David Kundtz in Men and Feelings says

"Women want men who are both strong and protective and sensitive with feeling.

"Men seem to be less clear but I believe most men want women to be both feeling and nurturing and  
competitive and rational."


End of File.
Last Modified February 23, 1995

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