As reported previously, co-creator of this very website unleashed a vicious, bloody attack on one J.Matthews during a game of cricket. The attack resulted in the death of Mr Matthews and the subsequent charging of Mr Allen with murder. However, a short time afterwards, Mr Allen was also responsible for the death of another cricket player, Mr Theodore Moth (whose real name has been disguised for legal reasons), who was unfortunate enough to be standing in Mr Allen's line of fire when he fumbled the orange windball which had previously murdered Mr Matthews. Mr Moth, genuinely shaken and upset by his death, remarked that it was possible Mr Allen had inflicted this attack because of his (Mr Moth's) earlier spreading of rumours that Mr Matthews was dead (which to this day Mr Allen still disbelieves - despite Mr Matthews' assurances to the contrary).
The upshot of this is that Mr Allen is now facing two counts of murder and will shortly go on trial before Judge Matthew Lees with only his attorney Mr Adam Jaffer to protect him against the no doubt merciless interrogation of prosecution counsellors M. Silveira and (ahem) J. Yeomans. Mr Allen (pictured) is unsurprisingly depressed at the prospect; "I didn't do nothing," he said. Mr Silveira had only this to say; "He's going down! It's the gallows for him, or maybe the chair, if we can pull it of mothballs..." "Death's too good for him," Mr Yeomans added.
In honour of a very popular TV drama series here at CONSPIRACY.NET, the "Great Cricket Trial" will hereafter be referred to as the MURDER TWO case, and this page will be updated continually. When we remember. Perhaps.
For all those Americans, aliens and English cricket team players (who could do with reminding looking at their usual performances) out there, cricket is a fairly simple game in which a BOWLER bowls a tennis-ball sized sphere at three upright sticks and two cross-ways ones from a short distance, the idea being to knock down the sticks. These are the WICKETS. The ball, however, is slightly bigger and a dozen times harder and heavier than a tennis ball, being just about the right size to bring serious damage and pain to any poor soul who has to catch or stop it when it is thrown a great distance.
The BATSMAN stands in front of the wickets and uses a cricket bat to hit the ball as far away as possible, using the time it takes for the FIELDERS in the field to catch and/or retrieve the ball to make RUNS up and down the strip, whereby he gains points. The rules are obviously slightly more complicated than this, but to anyone who isn't obsessed with the game (such as myself, and probably a lot of the people who will read this) it is of very little importance on account of the games being too long and too boring to watch for any great length of time (say, over five minutes).