Hillhouse Investigations, Inc.
Vampire Page
Here at Hillhouse Investigations, we make no bones about it: WE HATE VAMPIRES!!! We don't like the way they look -- so smug in their little, black capes and greased-back hair! -- We don't like the way they smell -- clouds of garlic and the odor of moist soil everywhere! -- and we don't like the way they sound, "Blah, blah, blah, look at me with my fancy Rumanian accent, I'm zuch a dude, blah, blah, blah!" We hate them! And we will do whatever it takes to rid society of these parasites, these... these... well, these Vampires!
We won't bother to explain to you what a Vampire is; thanks to that bitter old crow, Anne Rice, we ALL know, don't we? You know all about their little pinkie-rings and tap-shoes, the way they flit about from place to place, how they all have this secret desire to be pretentious rock stars? We, we here at Hillhouse won't BORE you little Vampire experts with the details! Suffice it to say that, if you know where a Vampire is, or if you ARE a Vampire, drop us a line, then just be prepared for us to kick some serious butt! Hey, up yours, Vampires! Kiss our collective, Investigative ASS! You fucks!