CAPITALISM AND ROBINSON CRUSOEôFriday,ö said Robinson Crusoe, ôIÆm sorry, I fear I must lay you off.ö
ôWhat do you mean, Master?ö
ôWhy, you know thereÆs a big surplus of last yearÆs crop. I donÆt need you to plant another this year. IÆve got enough goatskin coats to last me a lifetime. My house needs no repairs. I can gather turtle eggs myself. ThereÆs an overproduction. When I need you I will send for you. You neednÆt wait around here.ö
ôThatÆs all right, Master, IÆll plant my own crop, build my own hut and gather all the eggs and nuts I want myself. IÆll get along fine.ö
ôWhere will you do all this, Friday?ö
ôHere on this island.ö
ôThis land belongs to me, you know. I canÆt allow you to do that. When you canÆt pay me anything I need I might as well not own it.ö
ôThen IÆll build a canoe and fish in the ocean. You donÆt own that.ö
ôThatÆs all right, provided you donÆt use any of my trees for your canoe, or build it on my land, or use my beach for your landing place, and do your fishing far enough away so you donÆt interfere with my riparian rights.ö
ôI never thought of that, Master. I can do without a boat, though. I can swim over to that rock and fish there and gather sea-gull eggs.ö
ôNo you wonÆt, Friday,. The rock is mine. I own riparian rights.ö
ôWhat shall I do, Master?ö
ôThatÆs your problem, Friday. YouÆre a free man, and you know about rugged individualism being maintained here.ö
ôI guess IÆll starve, Master. May I stay here until I do? Or shall I swim beyond your riparian rights and drown or starve there?ö
ôIÆve thought of something, Friday. I donÆt like to carry my garbage down to the shore each day. You may stay and do that. Then whatever is left of it, after my dog and cat have fed, you may eat. YouÆre in luck.ö
ôThank you, Master. That is true charity.ö
ôOne more thing, Friday. This island is overpopulated. Fifty percent of the people are unemployed. We are undergoing a severe depression, and there is no way I can see to end it. No one but a charlatan would say that he could. So keep a lookout and let no one land here to settle. And if any ship comes donÆt let them land any goods of any kind. You must be protected against foreign labor. Conditions are fundamentally sound, though. And prosperity is just around the corner.ö
None.
