From dgehrich@nfinity.com Mon Apr 14 17:40 EST 1997 Received: from nfinity.com (root@nfinity.nfinity.com [206.101.78.1]) by darwin.helios.nd.edu (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id RAA25243 for ; Mon, 14 Apr 1997 17:40:45 -0500 (EST) Received: from ppp85.nfinity.com (ppp86.nfinity.com [206.101.78.125]) by nfinity.com (8.7.4/8.6.9) with SMTP id RAA19202; Mon, 14 Apr 1997 17:44:27 -0500 (CDT) Received: by ppp85.nfinity.com with Microsoft Mail id <01BC48FC.4EB9F720@ppp85.nfinity.com>; Mon, 14 Apr 1997 17:50:14 -0500 Message-ID: <01BC48FC.4EB9F720@ppp85.nfinity.com> From: David Laine Gehrich To: "'Arroyo, carlos'" , "'Brown, Crissy'" , "'McDonald, Con'" , "'Cullen, Denise'" , "'Stapley, Diane'" , "'Vigo, Dawn'" To: "'Gehrich, Scott'" , "'Dickinson, Colleen'" , "'Preston, kate'" , "'Morrison, Matt'" , "'Neiper, Scott'" , "'Steinmetz, Melanie'" To: "'Cole, T'" , "'Melody, Vince'" Subject: FW: I.R.S. Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 17:44:12 -0500 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Length: 2126 Status: RO X-Status: Well, it's that time of the year again, so I figured that this may be of some help to all of you.... During my short employment tour with the IRS in the mail room, I've found serveral harmless ways to screw with them and receive no recourse. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a bunch down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork, and restaple it (on the left side). Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three party check. On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor recieves cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out a few nasty forms. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it is written on. Write your letter on something unshapely and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differntly than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess. If you send two checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form. Always put extra paperclips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped. These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the man. * These methods are only recommended when you owe money.