Blonde jokes...


 Article written by M.M.M / HMD

 Jokes supplied by GOONIE / HMD



 Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
 A: Alone

 Q: How do you change a blonde's mind ?
 A1: Blow in her ear
 A2: Buy her another beer

 Q: How do you get blonde to marry you ?
 A: Tell her she's pregnant

 Q: What will she ask you ?
 A: "Is it mine ?"

 Q: How does a blonde kill a fish ?
 A: She drowns it

 Q: How do you amuse blonde's for hours ?
 A: write "please turn over" on both sides on a piece of paper

 Q: How does Blonde hold her liquor ?
 A: By the ears

 Q: How does a blonde moonwalk ?
 A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor

 Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law ?
 A: An air bag

 Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped ?
 A: Because as soon as they are on their backs,their legs open

 Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for a coffie ?
 A: It's too hard to re-train them

 Q: What do blonde's do for foreplay ?
 A: Remove their underwear

 Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday ?
 A: Tell her a joke on Wednsday

 Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over
    her ears ?
 A: Trying to hold on to a thought

 Q: What is the difference between a blonde and broom closet ?
 A: Only 2 man can fit into a broom closet at once

 Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless
    Ming vase ?
 A: "It's Ok daddy..I'm not hurt"

 Q: How do you get a one armed blonde to get down from a tree ?
 A: Wave to her

 Q: How do you describe a blonde,surrounded by drooling idiots ?
 A: Flattered

 Q: What's the desease that can make a blonde paralized below her
    waist ?
 A: Marriage

 Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator ?
 A: By the chipped tooth

 Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense ?
 A: (I'll tell you tomorrow!)

 Q: How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek ?
 A: One

 Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
 A: She wasn't sure what ONE came first 

 Q: Why don't blondes talk during sex ?
 A1: Their mothers told them not to speak to strangers
 A2: Their mothers told them not to speak with their mouth
     full

 Q: What does a blonde and a postage stamp have in common ?
 A: You lick'em,stick'em and send'em on their way

 Q: How did the blonde die while drinking milk ?
 A: The cow fell on her

 Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office ?
 A: A bed in the stockroom and a huge smile on all the bosses
    faces

 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toilet ?
 A: A toilet won't follow you around after you've used it

 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball ?
 A1: You can only use 3 fingers in a bowling ball
 A2: There's no difference.They're both round and have 3 holes
      to poke

 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old
    Duke of York ?
 A: The Grand Old Duke of York had only 10.000 men

 Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common ?
 A: They both get fucked when they're on their back

 Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes ?
 A: They're doing research on black holes

 Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces ?
 A: From eating with forks 

 Q: Why do blondes have 2 more braincells than a cow ?
 A1: So when you pull their tits,they don't  "MOO!!"
 A2: So they wont shit everywere when you pull their tits

 Q: Why do blondes have "T.G.I.F!" on their shoes ?
 A: "Toes go in first!"

 Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the SINK!!(HI THERE!)
 A: Cause THat's the place you wash Vegatables!!

 Q: Why don't blondes call 911 after an emergency ?
 A: They can't find the number 11 on the telephone

 Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles ?
 A: Because they can't fit their head in the jar

 Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
 A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi and One to call "Daaddy!"

 Q: Santa Claus,The Tooth Fairy,a Dumb blone and a Smart blonde
    are walking down the street when they spot a 10 dollar bill.
    Who picks it up ?
 A1: The dumb blonde,cause the 3 other persons do not exist.
 A2: None of them. The 3 previous persons do not exist and the
     dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper

 Q: What does a blonde say if you ask her if her blinker is on ?
 A: It's on..It's off..It's on..It's off.. It's on..It's off..
    It's on..It's off.. It's on..It's off..It's on..It's off..   



 If you like these jokes then send us a letter
 (either to ICELAND or FRANCE) and we will do another
 article..
 As I'm not going to write those jokes for just few 
 people!!!

M.M.M / HMD ' 93 

 Yours Sincerely

  The Multi Marmalade Mixer of HEMOROIDS