Project Open Mind
by Katharina Wilson ©1996
Part FiveESB SuccessesIn Part Two of Project Open Mind we learned about some of the successes scientists have had with ESB, electronic stimulation of the brain. Some of these are:
I also related that I have experienced some of the ESB "successes" listed above, during what I believe were alien abduction experiences, as well as experiences during which I saw military personnel. I will now provide examples of the similarities I provided in Part Two. [Note: All abduction-related memories covered in this project were remembered consciously and were not retrieved (or recovered) by use of hypnosis.] I Have Had Old Memories SummonedIn June of 1990, I had an encounter during which I was standing in my dining room next to the table. A short, pudgy little doctor who was wearing green scrubs, inserted two small metal posts into my mouth. It felt as though the posts had penetrated the top of my mouth back behind my teeth and it was very painful. I could feel pain and pressure at both of my temples when suddenly, I felt as if the devices had penetrated my brain. I became very emotional and began to relive old memories. It was as if the events I had experienced in the past were occurring right at that moment. I was standing in my living room, but I was also in my psychology class. Then suddenly, I was performing with an orchestra at the University I attended. I was playing my clarinet and was in the middle of a concert, but I was still standing in my living room and I was aware that two events were occurring simultaneously. The short humanoid doctor was stimulating the memory pathways of my brain. After I was convinced that one of the devices was stuck in my brain, I found myself in a hospital and was experiencing so much pain that I passed out on the floor. At the time, I believed I was on board an alien craft, but the inside of this structure looked like a hospital. I regained consciousness after I heard a child's voice say, "A dead human?" in reference to me lying on the floor. I looked up and saw a mother and child standing next to me and I got up off of the floor. I then entered a huge room through double doors where I saw a lot of people lying on tables. Each person was surrounded by a team of doctors. I passed one table upon which a large black woman was lying. She was struggling to get up and one of the alien "doctors" took a wand and touched it to her. It appeared to send a jolt of electricity through her because the poor woman fell backward, and down onto the table again and passed out. After this experience I awakened in my bed "feeling extremely dizzy" and as if "I had been drugged." I had a headache, a very sore jaw and was running a slight temperature. When I looked in the bathroom mirror I could not find any physical evidence that the device had been in my mouth. There was no blood, puncture marks or bruising behind my teeth, on my gums or on the roof of my mouth. [1]
My Behavior Has Been Dramatically Altered Immediately After An Abduction Experience After seeing a bright yellow light in my room one night that made me terrified in the extreme I wrote, "Ever since the bright light appeared in my room shortly after returning home from college in 1981, and scared the hell out of me, I was unable to go near any of my musical instruments. I knew I could not play anymore...I knew I could not be a musician." After this encounter with the bright yellow light, I lost my musical ability, something that I had worked very hard for, for many years. [2] The following paragraph was written by me after an intense experience that did not involve my remembering aliens, but rather, a man from the CIA. The man said he was a real estate broker and that he wanted me to come to work for him. An unusual event occurred the day after this encounter. "The following day, and for the first time in my life, I was expecting a visit from someone in a government agency. Then it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I had already been visited by them...The following afternoon when I was checking my messages I was astonished. I had received a message from a man who...explained that he was a broker with a nationally known real estate company and he wanted me to come to work for him...Strangely, I found myself compelled to call him back and take him up on the offer. I wrote his number down and then stared at my phone. I thought, 'Am I supposed to work for the government?' " [3] Rather than returning the call to take him up on his offer, I immediately got out of the real estate business. I have also suddenly changed my diet after certain experiences. After one such encounter with a Being I call The Blonde, I stopped eating fish. After another experience with the Greys, I couldn't leave my house for two days. After another experience in 1995, which I will cover in detail later, I wrote: "What is also difficult about the aftermath of this experience is that I feel as if I should get out of the phenomenon, stop what I'm doing: the publishing, writing, research...I want to move. I want to disappear. I also think I'll get my hair cut..." [4] Finally, after another encounter that occurred in 1996, which again did not involve alien Beings but rather military personnel, I wrote: "My entire mind-set has changed. Whatever is going to happen or whatever is happening in this 'place' - it's big. There's nothing more important than this. All I know is, I'm not the person I used to be. I'm a soldier now and my own needs don't matter anymore." [5] It is my opinion that whatever is happening to me, some of these experiences have dramatically altered my behavior and thinking processes after they occurred. I have been forced to give up a promising career in music and a career in real estate. "Someone" has attempted to coerce me into not writing and publishing about the alien abduction phenomenon, and now I'm supposed to view myself as a soldier of all things. I believe these are dramatic examples of behavior modification. The question is: Is this behavior modification being done by alien Beings, mind control agents, or both?
I Have Felt Love For Alien Beings Who Have Experimented On MeA quick check in my index for The Alien Jigsaw lists no less than thirty references under the word "love." A thorough review shows that the majority of my references of the word "love" relate to my husband, to animals, and to hybrid babies and children. The following quotes relate to the love I feel for certain alien Beings. The quotes are numbered to show that they are from separate experiences. 1) "It was not the first time I had felt extremely positive feelings for The Blonde, but this visitation made it more than obvious to me that we both had strong feelings for one another. I felt love from him..." I also felt love for him. [6] 2) "I'm standing out on our deck with Erik [my husband] and The Blonde. The automatic flood lights didn't come on as they were supposed to. I'm hugging Erik. I love him and hugging him makes me feel warm and loved...I'm turning toward The Blonde...Now I'm hugging The Blonde. I have very special feelings for him and I feel love when I hold him." This hugging between Erik and myself and The Blonde and myself continued until I hugged The Blonde again and something changed: "the feelings I had a minute ago have suddenly been multiplied ten times. The love and warmth I am feeling are much, much stronger than they were a few minutes ago." [7] It seems that instantaneously, The Blonde was somehow able to manipulate the loving feelings I had for Erik and transfer them from himself and back to me. This created the (very convincing) illusion that The Blonde and I experienced a much stronger "love" for one another than Erik and I felt for one another. Even understanding that this manipulation has occurred, it is still difficult for me to believe that The Blonde does not love me and care a great deal for me. 3) During yet another experience I wrote, "I feel a great amount of love for The Blonde and I know he loves me." [8] 4) "I'm looking into the eyes of the Reptilian Tan again. We are still face to face and I am looking up at him. I sense that he and the Tan Being are very nice. They are very benign Beings...I almost feel love for them." [9] The Blonde and the Tans have performed medical procedures on me ranging from gynecological exams and procedures, to putting thin metal rods through my joints, and injecting me with very long needles. There are also other Beings who have done similar types of things and I have experienced feelings of love and what I call "misplaced feelings of devotion" for them. These include the Greys, the Tan Doctor, and The Doctor, who is a rather human-looking Hybrid.
I Have Experienced Short-term Memory Problems Immediately After an AbductionShort-term memory problems do not occur often to me, but they sometimes occur after an abduction experience along with several other aftereffects. An example from my journal in August of 1995 follows. Since I do not take drugs and I did not get drunk the night before, and I also did not sleep on a hard surface, I cannot understand how a simple "dream" could leave me with so many side effects. "Sunday morning: Extreme disorientation, extreme hyper-neuronal activity, but I can't seem to focus on the task at hand; anger, feelings of violation, vision (convergence) problems, short-term memory problems, trouble getting my thoughts focused. My head feels sore, as if my 'brain' hurts. It's really my whole head area, inside and out. It's just bruised feeling." [10] In October of 1995, I was in Chicago to speak at a conference for "National UFO Awareness Week." Immediately after my plane arrived at the airport I had a missing time experience in the women's restroom. I was not able to remember what occurred to me between the missing time experience and meeting my host at the baggage claim area. In this example, there are short-term as well as long-term memory problems. A portion of that experience follows: "I have no other memories of what occurred in the women's restroom, and I have no memory of walking from the phones (outside the women's restroom) to the baggage claim area until I was about fifteen yards from Mary and Faith. I do know one thing: a lot of people get off a plane after a four hour flight, use the restroom, wash their hands, and arrive at the baggage claim area at about the same time. When I arrived, no one but Mary, Faith, and the police were to be seen. I never adjusted my watch during the weekend. I kept it on Portland time and it worked fine throughout the weekend. Neither had it malfunctioned prior to that weekend nor since. It seems that at the very least, I am missing thirty minutes of time." Another example of short-term memory problems after an abduction are beginning a task and seconds after beginning, forgetting what it was I was doing or why I was doing it. As I stated earlier, this is not common for me, but it does occur in relation to abductions. A disturbing parallel can be drawn when looking at the effects of certain drugs like "burundanga" or Scopolamine for example. A man who read my book sent me an article titled "Drug Effective Weapon of Colombian Muggers" published in The Greenville News on August, 27, 1994. Some highlights from this article follow: "Bogata, Colombia (AP) - Thousands of people have been robbed or raped in the past two decades after being slipped the drug scopolamine, known as 'burundanga' on the street, prompting a U.S. State Department warning to travelers to Colombia." " 'The drug renders the person disoriented and powerless to resist the criminal's orders,' the State Department says in a travel advisory." "Criminals often administer the drug, a highly soluble white powder with no taste or smell, by slipping it into a drink or blowing it into the face of an unsuspecting victim." "Scopolamine has been used in medicine, often as a sedative, in the United States and other countries for years...But too much of the drug can cause disorientation, memory loss, hallucinations and convulsions. In large quantities, its effects can last for days... 'It's much like hypnosis, but a chemical version,' said Uribe, whose clinic treated 364 burundanga victims last year." [11] The drug's form as a highly soluble white powder brings to mind an abduction encounter that my husband experienced in October of 1991. Part of Erik's experience follows: "I was given a pillow and blanket made of a very lightweight, translucent and opalescent material. The Being told me telepathically, 'It is time for you to go to sleep.' A primal fear set in as I pleaded for him not to do this again. As I begged, he quickly raised his left hand over my head and released a metallic powder over my face. I could taste the bitter substance that fell onto my face and lips as I drifted away and lost consciousness." [12] It is clear that the drug this alien used was not scopolamine since it had a bitter taste and scopolamine has no taste or smell. A question we should ask is, if these are advanced aliens who often use telepathy and "touch" to achieve many of their goals, why would they need to use drugs? Alien abduction researchers should be very cautious during their investigations when both aliens and humans are using the same tools, for example: implants, injections with syringes, pills, powders, and other drugs.
I Have Experienced an Orgasm Merely by the Touch of an Alien BeingThis type of event has only occurred to me one time that I can remember. This particular experience surfaced in a dream in September of 1988: "A little time has passed and [The Blonde] is back in the room with me. I feel as though we are being watched by several Beings from behind a one-way, see through wall. He's reaching out to me...he has taken my left hand. He's holding my left hand, gently. Then he reaches out and touches my left breast and I instantly have an orgasm. I don't remember the physical act of sexual intercourse...he just touched me." [13] After this dream memory, I awakened in the middle of the night feeling guilty, almost devastated. I suddenly remembered that the actual encounter had occurred about one month earlier and I didn't record it in my journal because I felt as though I had betrayed my husband Erik. I went a long time believing that I had had sex with The Blonde until I finally reasoned that I had not. The Blonde touched me and the orgasm was "instantaneous." That simply doesn't happen with humans. If people could achieve this by simply going around touching one another, I would have surely have heard about it! It seemed to me that if the aliens are capable of taking people's pain away by a simple touch, or infusing certain loving emotions and feelings into the abductee, then what I had experienced was more similar to some type of brain stimulation than "body" stimulation. Recall that with the use of electronic stimulation of the brain, both pain and pleasure, including orgasm, can be instantaneously achieved. I believe that The Blonde and possibly other aliens may be using ESB devices to achieve feelings of pleasure, pain, fear, or what ever emotion they require. How else could the abductors "inhibit the maternal instinct" by making parents remain awake in their bed at night while listening to the pleas of their young children as they are abducted? When researchers interview some of these parents and ask how they responded when they heard their children's pleas, they often say something to the effect of, "I couldn't move," or "I just went back to sleep." [14] We must again acknowledge the fact that human beings have been using ESB devices for several decades and the technology has become very advanced. [15] Here is yet another example of an overlap between what human agents of mind control and alien Beings might be able to achieve during their interaction with, or experiments on human beings. While these examples do not prove that it is "either" aliens or humans who are doing the abducting, they demonstrate a clear overlap in the technology that may be in use with alien abductions and mind control experiments. Many occurrences that take place during an alien abduction can be accomplished with terrestrial technology. [16]
I Have A Steadfast Devotion Toward Specific Military Personnel I Don't Even Know, But Interact With During My EncountersI had an incredible experience in June of 1996. For all of its vividness, it may as well have happened yesterday. It may surprise some readers because of the details, the vividness and the lack of alien Beings. A recurrent theme in many abductees' experiences, these military type encounters are extremely perplexing and disturbing. I hesitate to include all of the encounter for the fact that I still do not understand it; why it occurred and why I remembered it. If it is a true memory, then I fear I may be violating some pre-arranged oath I may have taken. If it is a ploy by the aliens to deceive us into believing that our government is abducting us or is going to use us in a future war, I surely do not want to play into their hands by spreading their disinformation. I ask you to please keep these thoughts in mind when reading the following journal entry. [I have allowed several more weeks to pass before deciding to include this entry. I was hoping to remember more about the event, or even to have some clarification as to why I remembered it and if I should share it with others. Unfortunately, neither has occurred.] "I'm standing in a room. I think I'm in a building related to science and education... research. I'm looking out a window and I see an unusual helicopter. It's flying over the building and away from me. I'm looking at it and it appears to be a very light weight craft. The tail is composed of three or four beams of thin metal. The cockpit is rather small. [This was probably a drone aircraft.] Now there are at least two squadrons of helicopters passing over me. These are attack helicopters: hueys, cobra-type gun-ships, and black-hawks. There are others, but I can't name them all. I know these are various types of attack helicopters. There's some kind of mission occurring...looks like at least twenty-four craft. The next wave is coming over me. These are various types of fixed-wing aircraft. There's definitely a large military exercise occurring. This is big. Suddenly one of these groups of planes all move vertically very fast. I'm being told that one group is for "attack" and the other is for flying...carrying out the mission. There are two groups that will be needed. Now I'm in another place. I'm acting as a go-between. I'm myself, but inside I feel an intensity. A duty. I am a soldier. I'm the liaison [go-between] between civilians and a General. The General is a male and he's in his fifties or early sixties. My entire mind-set changes here. There is something I am to participate in that requires me to accept certain things. The chain of command. There's a large room full of enlisted personnel. It's somewhat dark in here, and it's noisy because everyone is talking at once. Everyone is wearing midnight blue uniforms. I've seen these before. They have no markings, just a midnight blue color. Jumpsuit-type uniforms. I don't get the feeling this is any one particular branch like the Air Force, Army, or Marines. It's all of them and it's none of them. I'm standing in the doorway to the room and the General is nearby. I'm actually with the General and we're in an adjacent room to this crowd of soldiers. Most of them are males, but some are females. The General is on the phone. Now he has just hung up the phone and I walk into the adjacent room and make some kind of hand signal to the crowd. They immediately stop talking. The room is silent. The General and I walk in together. He is going to give us our orders. I know that I'm the middle-man, so to speak, between this large group of soldiers and the command. It's my job and it's extremely important. It's my life now. I am not the person I used to be, but I am here because I'm involved. I think it's because I'm an abductee. [Later] I'm bunking with a group of women. Most of them are my age or younger. Some of them don't belong here. They'll never make it. We're in a hotel room or a suite. There's a king size bed and some other furniture. There's about ten of us in here. We're getting ready to go to sleep. Most of us are going to sleep on the floor even though there's a bed in here. I know I'm a soldier now. There's no reason for me to be comfortable anymore. My life has totally changed. I have to be ready. Conditioned. I'm doing my nightly forty sit-ups. I do these all the time...have to stay in top shape. Things could happen at any moment. I look over to a blonde female. She's got her pajamas on and she's decided to sleep in the bed. Hardly anyone in here approves of her decision, but she's never going to make it anyway. We don't say much to her. Most of us know that they have to follow my lead if they want to survive. Somehow, I seem to be their leader or something. I'm in charge of them and I know that some of these women don't belong here. My entire mind-set has changed. I am a soldier participating in an important mission. This is big. Whatever is going to happen or whatever is happening in this 'place' - it's big. There's nothing more important than this. All I know is, I'm not the person I used to be. I'm a soldier now and my own needs don't matter anymore." [17] Taken at face value, the implications of this encounter are disturbing, to say the least. Fortunately, if we have learned anything in abduction research, it is that you never take anything at face value. To say what is really occurring here is nearly impossible. I have a conscious memory of a non-alien encounter that has the exact same reality to it that my alien encounters have. It did not seem to be a vision, although I have to be open to the possibility that perhaps the visions are changing and I'm misinterpreting the information. If a vision, I must ask: Where is the vision coming from? God? Aliens? Agents of mind control? Perhaps even neurochemical changes in the brain? Could this have been a way for someone to disseminate information? Could the aliens know that a conflict is going to occur in our future? Some abductees believe they are being used as messengers by the aliens to let the U.S. government know they are aware of certain plans and activities or, perhaps the aliens want me to warn other abductees so they will be mentally prepared when something does happen. On the other hand, perhaps this was an example of a virtual reality scenario by the use of an electronic brain implant? Was this information "dumped" into my memory for the purposes of my writing about it and furthering some disinformation campaign? Was it a VRS designed to train me for an event without physically abducting me for the training? That would certainly place this event into the category of mind control, would it not? The idea that abductees are going to be recruited by the military and are going to fight side by side with the military against the "evil aliens" sounds like a Hollywood movie script. Nevertheless, I believe that all of the above questions are valid. Every possibility should be considered before forming an opinion as to why some abductees are seeing military and other official looking personnel during their experiences. There are other abductees who are having similar experiences as mine, and they sincerely believe that we are preparing for a future war. If this was merely more alien psychological testing to see how I would react in a situation such as this, we should be curious as to why the aliens are interested in this information. There are no easy explanations for encounters or memories like the example I just provided. It may be easy for some people to say this was just an extraordinary dream brought on by unusual chemical changes in the brain. But once again, when we look at the data covering multiple abductions, and the similarities between the reports of abductees across large geographical distances, I do not believe we can safely assume this to be the case. There are other examples of my devotion to military personnel, as well as aliens, in my books and in my unpublished journals, but I think this entry pretty much says it all. In my opinion, this was not a dream any more than my alien experiences are dreams. I cannot emphasize enough, the fact that my dreams do not feel like these encounters. If I had to narrow it down to three choices I would say that this was: 1) an alien psychological test for manipulation purposes, 2) a VRS, virtual reality scenario by agents of mind control, or 3) an alien vision of an event that might occur in the future. If other researchers thought my alien experiences were merely dreams, Budd Hopkins would not have written his Introduction for The Alien Jigsaw, and I would not have received the types of endorsements that I have for my work. I am striving to understand what these memories can possibly represent. Understanding them may mean the difference between finding the truth about alien abductions and perpetuating a myth. # # # I will continue to illustrate this aspect of the abduction phenomenon with information from another abductee in Part Six of Project Open Mind, titled About Lisa. ©1993-1996 Katharina Wilson. All Rights Reserved. Puzzle Publishing, PO Box 230023, Portland, Oregon, 97281-0023, USA. The preceding is reproduced with permission of the Author. Permission is given to reproduce and redistribute in printed form, for non-commerical purposes only, provided the information and the copy remain intact and unedited. http://www.alienjigsaw.com |
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