Stranger than Fiction
Stranger than FictionHere I put strange, absurd, or humorous items.
I found these two advertisements in the September 1994 issue of The Journal of Hand Surgery. I thought it was a joke! (No offense to you doctors out there.) Apparently leeches are used in modern medicine as a way to remove excess pools of blood and stale blood (thus drawing in new blood to the area) that may accumulate during surgical procedures like re-attaching limbs. These leeches are bred in sterile environments (fed what?), so the danger of infection is low. I associate leeches with medicine of the Dark Ages, so this little item stuns me.
CERN, the European particle physics laboratory has an annual budget of $700 million supported by eighteen different countries and employs over 7,000 scientists and engineers. French CERN control room operator of 27 years, Nicolas Blazianu, 53, went berserk after an argument with his ex-wife (also a CERN employee), and tore out some 1300 electronic circuits controlling the main atom smasher- the Proton Synchrotron. He then stashed the circuits in the ceiling, walls, and under the floor, and later phoned CERN management to say he'd tell them where the hidden circuits were, for a mere $350,000.
The incident happened over the weekend of February 11, 1995, and when CERN staff arrived the following Monday morning, they found that the control system had been almost entirely dismantled and several cubic meters of electronics removed. Since then all the components have been recovered, but now CERN is faced with a Humpty Dumpty problem. The task of reassembling the facility's control circuits is daunting, as the instrumentation has grown organically over the past twenty years and documentation is incomplete.
The atom smasher was shut down for maintenance when the French "deconstructionist" had his way with it. Scientists will not know how long it take to repair the damage until the end of next month. Police in southeastern France have arrested Blazianu, and have charged him with theft and attempted extortion."
From "News of the Weird."
In December, 1994, Jack Horkheimer, who is host of a public television astronomy show and who ends each show urging viewers to "keep looking up" at the stars, broke four toes in his left foot when he misstepped on a deck one night while watching the star Canopus.
From "News of the Weird."
In December 1993, Dr. Henry Abrams of Loveladies, N. J., who was Albert Einstein's ophthalmologist, and who removed Einstein's eyes during his autopsy in 1955 (storing them in a safe-deposit box ever since), announced the eyes were for sale and said he expected they could bring $5 million. [Chicago Sun- Times-Agence France-Presse, 12-18-94]
From "News of the Weird."
University of Washington astrophysicist Dr. Bruce H. Margon, quoted by the New York Times on the continuing inability of science to measure or infer what the "blackness" in space is, even though, by its properties, they know it must be matter: "It's a fairly embarrassing situation to admit that we can't find 90 percent of the universe." [New York Times, 11-29-94]
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the
same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns
don't kill people. I do."
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too ____-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive
lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a
flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Malls try to attract shoppers
The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought
The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete
The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
The New York Times, March 10
Man clings to life after fatal blast
Tucson Citizen, January 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
The Oregonian, January 28
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold
Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer
Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy
Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church's focus is the Bible
Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons
Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Chancellor Wants Students To Take Required Courses
The Banner Herald, Athens, Georgia, March 13
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
Journal of Commerce, April 20
Dysfunctional families can have harmful effect on children
The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 1
Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise
Hart
Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams
Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
From "News of the Weird."
Terence Cunningham, a Palo Alto, Calif., Unitarian, embarked earlier this year on what he estimated was a $70 million fundraising campaign to build a rocket ship and lunar landing vehicle for the purpose of placing an indestructible copy of the Holy Bible on the moon for safekeeping. There, Cunningham told the newspaper Mountain View Voice, the Bible would be preserved against tampering or in case civilization is destroyed on Earth from plagues, wars, or, in his words, "acts of God." [Mountain View Voice, 7-28-95]
From "News of the Weird."
Oscar, the performing hypnotic Labrador dog, ran away from trainers just before a sell-out show in Edinburgh, Scotland, in August. Oscar's owner Hugh Lennon asked the public to be on the lookout for Oscar, but not to look at him directly in the eyes. [Daily Express (Ireland), 8-23-95]
From "News of the Weird."
In a first-person account in London's The Independent in September, Jenny Gathorne-Hardy reported that she drilled a hole in her skull (with pain relief only by local anesthetic) to test the theory that adults' brains would function better if blood were allowed to circulate to the topmost part, which is made difficult because of natural fusing at around age 18 to 21. Reported Gathorne-Hardy, "I feel calmer, and that particular mental exhaustion I became so used to has gone." [Globe and Mail-The Independent, 9-22-95]
Bocholt, Germany--A band musician died of a brain injury when the trombonist behind him jerked the slide of his trombone forward and struck the trumpeter in the back of the head.
Police say the tragedy occurred as the Gratzfeld College band was rehearsing the spirited American jazz Classic, "When the Saints Go Marching In".
According to other band members, trombonist Peter Niemeyer, 19, "got carried away" with the music. He started gyrating and thrashing around as he played.
At one point, he jerked forward and the rounded metal slide on his instrument hit trumpet player Dolph Mohr, 20, dropping him instantly to the floor.
"Niemeyer was pumping the slide very hard," said medical examiner Dr. Max Krause. "But it wasn't just the force of the blow that killed Mohr. The slide struck him in the worst possible place--the vulnerable spot just behind and below the left ear. Bone fragments pierced his brain, killing him instantly."
The incident has provoked a storm of controversy over whether or not American jazz should be played in German colleges.
"I believe the music is to blame," said Gratzfield band director Heinrich Sommer. "I was pressured to play that selection by school administrators. But I've always said jazz is dangerous music, Our musicians can't control themselves when they play it. They move and rock back and forth, creating chaos. If I had my way, American Dixieland would be outlawed in Germany. I've been directing bands for 30 years and I've never heard of anyone dying while playing a German march"
From "News of the Weird."
In December, a Wall Street Journal report described the "Polish method" for destroying the 48,000 tanks (that weigh up to 34 tons each) left in Eastern Europe that must be turned to scrap under a 1990 treaty. Since it is impractical to blow them up or to melt them, Poland manufactures nine-ton balls, lifts them with hoists containing electromagnets, and drops them onto the tanks, flattening them. Said an American diplomat, after the process was described to him, "Wow, that must be really satisfying." [Wall Street Journal, 12-26-95]
From "News of the Weird."
The village council of Bruntingthorpe, England, began consideration in February of an elaborate plan to reduce the amount of dog poop in the town of 200 people (and 30 dogs): The village would DNA-test the dogs and keep the results on file for the purpose of matching the DNA to that on any unscooped dog poop lying around the village, so as to punish scofflaws. [The Barrie Examiner-CP, 2-26-96]
From "News of the Weird."
In October, a Redondo Beach, Calif., police officer arrested a driver after a short chase and charged him with drunk driving. Officer Joseph Fonteno's suspicions were aroused when he saw the white Mazda MX-7 rolling down Pacific Coast Highway with half of a traffic-light pole, including the lights, lying across its hood. The driver had hit the pole on a median strip and simply kept driving. According to Fonteno, when the driver was asked about the pole, he said, "It came with the car when I bought it." [Torrance Daily Breeze, 10-24-95]
From "News of the Weird."
Fortune magazine reported in October on the foresightedness of Procter & Gamble in registering names for potential exclusive Internet addresses. It won the right to use, among other names: toiletpaper.com, pimples.com, germs.com, bacteria.com, dandruff.com, underarm.com, badbreath.com, and diarrhea.com. [Fortune, 10-16-95; Louisville Courier-Journal, 10-9-95]
Return to Amara's Digital Web Home Page Overview
Current page access count = 3803
© Copyright Amara Graps, 1995, 1996.
Return To Paranormal Information Menu.