19 It is easier to fight for one`s principles than to live up to them. * Alfred Adler
15 In every child who is born, under no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again. * J. Agee
9 To be ignorant of one`s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant. * A. B. Alcott
14 A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. * Fred Allen
14 Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. * Fred Allen
14 Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. * Fred Allen
0 Basically my wife was immature. I`d be at home in the bath and she`d come in and sink my boats. * Woody Allen
0 Hey, don`t knock masturbation. It`s sex with someone you love. * Woody Allen
0 I don`t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying. * Woody Allen
0 If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. * Woody Allen
0 Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. * Woody Allen
0 I`m not afraid to die. I just don`t want to be there when it happens. * Woody Allen
15 Don`t worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. * Old Farmer`s Almanac
8 A belief is not true because it is useful. * Henri Frederic Amiel
5 When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground and swish my tail. * Princess Anne
2 Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not. * Graffiti
1 Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. * Anonymous
1 By the time a man realises that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he`s usually wrong. * Anonymous
1 He`s a self made man and he worships his creator. * Anonymous
2 If at first you don`t succeed, cheat! * Graffiti
2 If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people. * Graffiti
1 I inherited my ability from both my parents; my mother`s ability for spending money, and my father`s ability for not making it. * Anonymous
2 Keep Britain Tidy, kill a tourist. * Graffiti
2 Marraige isn`t a word, it`s a sentence. * Graffiti
1 Middle Age - When you want to see how long your car will last instead of how fast it will go. * Anonymous
2 Nostalgia isn`t what it used to be. * Graffiti
1 Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are? * Anonymous
3 He`s very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head. * Margot Asquith
3 I married beneath me. All women do. * Lady Astor
3 I refuse to admit I`m more than fifty two even if that does make my sons illegitimate. * Lady Astor
12 Lord give me chastity - but not yet. * Saint Augustine
3 I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck. * Stanley Baldwin
0 Cocaine habit forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I`ve been using it for years. * Tallulah Bankhead
0 I`ll come and make love to you at five o`clock. If I`m late start without me. * Tallulah Bankhead
16 I know I am God because when I pray to him I find I`m talking to myself. * Peter Barnes
7 Jesus picked up twelve men from the bottom ranks of business and forged them into an organization that conquered the world. * Bruce Barton
16 The defect of equality is that we only desire it with our superiors. * Henry Becque
6 Try everything once except incest and folk dancing. * Sir Thomas Beecham
16 I saw a notice which said, "Drink Canada Dry" and I`ve just started. * Brendan Behan
8 If one truly had lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so. * Eric Bentley
13 No news is good news. No journalists is even better. * Nicolas Bentley
4 Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying. * Ingmar Bergman
9 Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. * Henri Bergson
15 Billing`s Law - Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. * Josh Billings
15 I`ve never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. * Josh Billings
15 Solitude - A nice place to visit, but a poor place to stay. * Josh Billings
15 To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. * Josh Billings
6 If I`d known I was gonna live this long, I`d have taken better care of myself. * Eubie Blake
11 Men take only their needs into consideration - never their abilities. * Napoleon Bonaparte
7 If you like this program, why not register it and show your support for the shareware concept? * Bozz Software
3 I reject `get it done`, `make it happen` thinking. I want to slow things down so I understand them better. * Governor Jerry Brown
8 Reasoning with a child is fine, if you can reach the child`s reason without destroying your own. * John Mason Brown
14 My mother in law broke up my marraige. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. * Lenny Bruce
4 I am still an athiest, thank God. * Luis Bunuel
14 Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can`t remember if it`s the thirteenth or fourteenth. * George Burns
14 I have my 87th birthday coming up and people ask what I`d most appreciate getting. I`ll tell you : a paternity suit. * George Burns
14 Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. * George Burns
8 A man convinced against his will - Is of the same opinion still. * Samuel Butler
8 An apology for the devil. It must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case. God has written all the books. * Samuel Butler
8 The `Ancient Mariner` would not have taken so well if it had been called `The Old Sailor`. * Samuel Butler
7 It`s funny but I spent half my life trying to get enough to eat and the other half trying to get my weight down. * Sir Billy Butlin
8 I will have nothing to do with your immortality; we are miserable enough in this life, without the absurdity of speculating upon another. * Lord Byron
12 I do not read advertisements - I would spend all my time wanting things. * Archbishop of Canterbury
0 When I see the `Ten Most Wanted Lists` ... I always have this thought : If we`d made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn`t be wanted now. * Eddie Cantor
7 You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. * Al Capone
8 That there should one man die ignorant who had capacity for knowledge, this I call a tragedy. * Thomas Carlyle
3 I`ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I`ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God recognises I will do this and forgives me. * Jimmy Carter
3 We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon. * Jimmy Carter
11 I would rather men should ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. * Marcus Porcius Cato
7 Gross ignorance : 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance. * Bennett Cerf
5 I just come and talk to the plants, really - very important to talk to them, they respond I find. * Prince Charles
6 The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. * Cher
8 Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. * G. K. Chesterton
8 No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink. * G. K. Chesterton
8 Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. * G. K. Chesterton
8 The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. * G. K. Chesterton
0 Growing old isn`t so bad when you consider the alternative. * Maurice Chevalier
8 An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. * Agatha Christie
3 Democracy is the worst system devised by the wit of man, except for all the others. * Winston Churchill
3 I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter. * Sir Winston Churchill
3 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. * Winston Churchill
3 This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. * Winston Churchill
15 Love.......word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle aged, and the mutual dependence of the old. * John Ciardi
9 If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it. * Cicero
8 This is the first age that`s paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one. * Arthur C. Clarke
8 A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven`t. * Irvin S. Cobb
12 Many speak the truth when they say that they despise riches, but they mean the riches possessed by other men. * Charles Caleb Colton
12 True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. * Charles Caleb Colton
8 Pushing forty? She`s clinging on to it for dear life. * Ivy Compton-Burnett
14 Marriage is a wonderful invention. But, then again, so is the bicycle repair kit. * Billy Connolly
8 Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It`s cheaper. * Quentin Crisp
8 to like an individual because he`s black is just as insulting as to dislike him because he isn`t white. * e. e. cummings
24 The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. * Clarence Darrow
24 When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I`m beginning to believe it. * Clarence Darrow
9 A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. * Charles Darwin
0 Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted. * Sammy Davis, Jr
14 Lazy? He used to ride his bike over cobble stones to knock the ash out of his ciggie. * Les Dawson
3 A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are. * Chauncey Depew
14 Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. * Phyllis Diller
4 There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates` loot on Treasure Island.....and best of all, you can enjoy these riches every day. * Walt Disney
14 I haven`t spoken to my mother in law for eighteen months - I don`t like to interrupt her. * Ken Dodd
8 Beware the fury of a patient man. * John Dryden
8 Here lies my wife, here let her lie. Now she`s at rest, and so am I. * John Dryden
8 The past always looks better than it was. It`s only pleasant because it isn`t here. * Finley Peter Dunne
19 A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a minute, it`s longer than any hour. That is relativity. * Albert Einstein
10 Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal. * Dwight D. Eisenhower
8 My name is only an anagram of toilets. * T. S. Eliot
9 I have a lantern. You steal my lantern. What, then, is your honour worth no more to you than the price of my lantern? * Epictetus
8 Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. * Susan Ertz
23 Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable. * Bergen Evans
8 If you could just be a nigger one Saturday night, you wouldn`t never want to be a white man again as long as you live. * William Faulkner
7 No man is a failure who is enjoying life. * William Feather
16 Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? * Jules Feiffer
0 After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. * W. C. Fields
0 Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There`s nothing like having a midget for a butler. * W. C. Fields
0 A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. * W. C. Fields
0 I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. * W. C. Fields
0 If at first you don`t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There`s no use being a damn fool about it. * W. C. Fields
0 What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? * W. C. Fields
12 The long and distressing controversy over capital punishment is very unfair to anyone meditating murder. * Geoffrey Fisher
0 If they try to rush me, I always say, "I`ve only got one other speed - and it`s slower." * Glenn Ford
8 A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance. * Anatole France
8 Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folk have lent me. * Anatole France
8 To die for an idea is to set a rather high price upon conjecture. * Anatole France
3 To find out a girl`s faults, praise her to her girlfriends. * Benjamin Franklin
5 A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in. * Frederick the Great
8 A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman`s birthday but never remembers her age. * Robert Frost
8 The world is full of willing people. Some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. * Robert Frost
0 A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he`s finished. * Zsa Zsa Gabor
0 I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. * Zsa Zsa Gabor
0 I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. * Zsa Zsa Gabor
9 I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn`t learn something from him. * Galileo
8 A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself, but he is never able to find them. * Richard Le Gallienne
20 There is a sufficiency in the world for man`s need but not for man`s greed. * Mohandas Gandhi
0 Marraige is a lot like the army. Everyone complains, but you`d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. * James Garner
7 If you can actually count your money, you are not really rich. * J. Paul Getty
8 Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. * Johann W. von Goethe
4 Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. * Samuel Goldwyn
4 A verbal contract isn`t worth the paper it`s written on. * Samuel Goldwyn
4 Going to call him William? What kind of name is that? Every Tom, Dick and Harry`s called William. Why don`t they call him Bill? * Samuel Goldwyn
4 In two words : im possible. * Samuel Goldwyn
4 The reason so many people showed up at his funeral was because they wanted to make sure he was dead. * Samuel Goldwyn
0 There are two reasons why I`m in show business, and I`m standing on both of them. * Betty Grable
14 If it wasn`t for Abe Lincoln, I`d still be on the open market. * Dick Gregory
16 The little I know I owe to my ignorance. * Sacha Guitry
15 Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. * Sydney J. Harris
9 What history teaches us is that men have never learned anything from it. * Georg Wilhelm Hegel
6 No matter what side of an argument you`re on, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side. * Jascha Heifetz
8 We should forgive our enemies, but only after they have been hanged first. * Heinrich Heine
14 I`m not against half naked girls - not as often as I`d like to be. * Benny Hill
4 The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. * Alfred Hitchcock
10 Anyone who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue ought to be sterilised. * Adolf Hitler
20 Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon. * Abbie Hoffman
3 Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. * Herbert Hoover
14 I do benefits for all religions - I`d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. * Bob Hope
14 People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy. * Bob Hope
14 They asked Jack Benny if he would do something for the actor`s orphanage - so he shot both his parents and moved in. * Bob Hope
14 Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series. * Bob Hope
14 A diplomat is a fellow that lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants. * Frank McKinney Hubbard
14 The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. * Frank McKinney Hubbard
14 We all belong t` th` union when it comes t` wantin` more money and less work. * Frank McKinney Hubbard
8 Humor is laughing at what you haven`t got when you ought to have it. * Langston Hughes
23 It is possible for a student to win twelve letters at a university without his learning how to write one. * Robert Maynard Hutchins
8 To his dog, every man is Napoleon. Hence the constant popularity of dogs. * Aldous Huxley
12 A nation is a society united by a delusion about it`s ancestry and by common hatred of it`s neighbours. * Dean William R Inge
16 A nose that can see is worth two that sniff. * Eugene Ionesco
3 The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish. * Justice Robert Jackson
19 Put three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more closely packed with sand than space is with stars. * Sir James Jeans
3 The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. * Thomas Jefferson
8 He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain. * Douglas Jerrold
12 He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone. * Jesus
8 Criticism is a study by which men grow important and formidable at very small expense. * Samuel Johnson
8 The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. * Samuel Johnson
8 To do nothing is in every man`s power. * Samuel Johnson
8 Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. * Samuel Johnson
8 You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. * Erica Jong
8 Every man has three characters - that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has. * Alphonse Karr
3 I appreciate your welcome. As the cow said to the Maine farmer, `Thank you for a warm hand on a cold morning`. * John F. Kennedy
8 I`m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That`s deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas? * Jean Kerr
9 The tyrant dies and his rule ends, the martyr dies and his rule begins. * Soren Kierkegaard
20 I want to be the white man`s brother, not his brother-in-law. * Martin Luther King, Jr
8 I keep six honest serving men, They taught me all I knew, Their names are What and Why and When, And How and Where and Who. * Rudyard Kipling
10 I don`t mind your being killed, but I object to your being taken prisoner. * Lord Kitchener
12 It is so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it. * Ronald Knox
8 He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts - for support rather than for illumination. * Andrew Lang
22 The honeymoon is over when he phones that he`ll be late for supper - and she has already left a note that it`s in the refrigerator. * Bill Lawrence
6 If music be the food of love, let`s have a Beethoven butty. * John Lennon
19 Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village. * Leonard Louis Levinson
6 Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful. * Liberace
8 Some people read because they are too lazy to think. * G. C. Lichtenberg
3 God must love the common man, he made so many of them. * Abraham Lincoln
3 Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. * Abraham Lincoln
8 Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. * Anne Morrow Lindbergh
15 Whereas each man claims his freedom as a matter of right, the freedom he accords to other men is a matter of toleration. * Walter Lippmann
8 The measure of a man`s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. * Thomas Babington Macaulay
0 I`ve made so many movies playing a hooker that they don`t pay me in the regular way anymore. They leave it on the dresser. * Shirley MacLaine
0 I got married, and we had a baby nine months and ten seconds later. * Jayne Mansfield
8 Bores bore each other too; but it never seems to teach them anything. * Don Marquis
8 When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him whose? * Don Marquis
0 A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five! * Groucho Marx
0 Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I`ll never know. * Groucho Marx
0 I never forget a face, but I`ll make an exception in your case. * Groucho Marx
0 I`ve had a wonderful evening, but this wasn`t it. * Groucho Marx
0 She got her good looks from her father - he`s a plastic surgeon. * Groucho Marx
0 Please accept my resignation. I don`t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member. * Groucho Marx
0 Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. * Groucho Marx
9 From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. * Karl Marx
3 Give your decisions, never your reasons. Your decisions may be right, your reasons are sure to be wrong. * W. Murray, Earl of Mansfield
8 Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children. * Mignon McLaughlin
8 No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you`ll see why. * Mignon McLaughlin
8 There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today. * Mignon McLaughlin
0 Undermine the entire structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free. * Taylor Mead
15 A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. * H. L. Mencken
15 Courtroom : A place where Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds in favour of Judas. * H. L. Mencken
15 No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not. * H. L. Mencken
13 Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. * Michelangelo
9 There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realised until personal experience has bought it home. * John Stuart Mill
14 Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? * Spike Milligan
14 Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. * Spike Milligan
14 Listen, someone`s screaming in agony - fortunately I speak it fluently. * Spike Milligan
14 Well, we can`t stand around here doing nothing, people will think we`re workmen. * Spike Milligan
16 Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. * Wilson Mizner
8 Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. * Michel de Montaigne
8 High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. * Christopher Morley
14 Middle age is when you`re sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn`t for you. * Ogden Nash
15 The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. * George Jean Nathan
3 We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts. * Harold Nicholson
9 A subject for a great poet would be God`s boredom after the seventh day of creation. * Friedrich Nietzsche
9 Is man one of God`s blunders or is God one of man`s blunders? * Friedrich Nietzsche
9 It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author - and that he did not learn it better. * Friedrich Nietzsche
9 There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He. * Friedrich Nietzsche
6 I bit the head off a live bat the other night. It was like eating a Crunchie wrapped in chamois leather. * Ozzy Osbourne
0 I don`t need bodygaurds. I`m from the South Bronx. * Al Pacino
8 If all the girls at the Yale Prom were laid end to end, I wouldn`t be at all surprised. * Dorothy Parker
8 That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can`t say 'no' in any one of them. * Dorothy Parker
8 The two most beautiful words in the English language are : "Cheque enclosed". * Dorothy Parker
6 I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out. * Dolly Parton
9 If all men knew what each said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world. * Blaise Pascal
9 Vanity is so secure in the heart of man that everyone wants to be admired : even I who write this, and you who read this. * Blaise Pascal
12 All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands. * Saint Patrick
23 A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one way street. * Laurence J. Peter
23 Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. * Laurence J. Peter
5 The art of being a good guest is to know when to leave. * Prince Philip
8 I much prefer a compliment, insincere or not, to sincere criticism. * Plautus
8 I have great faith in fools, self-confidence my friends call it. * Edgar Allan Poe
8 They talk most who have the least to say. * Mathew Prior
17 Do not use a hachet to remove a fly from your friend`s forehead. * Chinese Proverb
17 May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you`re dead. * Irish Proverb
17 No call alligator long mouth till you pass him. * Jamaican Proverb
17 When two divorced people marry, four get into bed. * Jewish Proverb
17 Before I judge my neighbour, let me walk a mile in his moccasins. * Sioux Proverb
17 Don`t talk unless you can improve the silence. * Vermont Proverb
3 It`s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? * Ronald Reagan
3 My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I`ve just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. * Ronald Reagan
8 A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he descibes another`s. * Jean Paul Richter
14 Is she fat? Her favourite food is seconds! * Joan Rivers
8 We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it. * Duc de La Rochefoucauld
8 We would often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood all the motives which produced them. * Duc de La Rochefoucauld
0 The minute you read something you can`t understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. * Will Rogers
3 Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. * Eleanor Roosevelt
3 A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car, but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. * Theodore Roosevelt
3 There is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head. * Theodore Roosevelt
8 The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. * Dante Gabriel Rossetti
15 Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman`s greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn`t want her. * Helen Rowland
15 When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. * Helen Rowland
9 If we were all given by magic the power to read each other`s thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. * Bertrand Russell
7 The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary. * Vidal Sassoon
8 A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. * George Bernard Shaw
8 Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it. * George Bernard Shaw
8 Hatred is the coward`s revenge for being intimidated. * George Bernard Shaw
8 The liar`s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed but that he cannot believe anyone else. * George Bernard Shaw
8 The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. * George Bernard Shaw
8 The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. * George Bernard Shaw
8 Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. * George Bernard Shaw
7 What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? * Adam Smith
15 I never read a book before reviewing it. It prejudices me so. * Sydney Smith
3 Democracy, with it`s promise of international peace, has been no better guarantee against war than the old dynastic rule of kings. * Jan C. Smuts
9 If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own. * Socrates
12 The House of Lords has a value .... it is good evidence of life after death. * Lord Soper
12 By perseverance the snail reached the ark. * Charles Haddon Spurgeon
8 I`m not so think as you drunk I am. * Sir John Squire
10 A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. * Joseph Stalin
8 Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts, perhaps the fear of a loss of power. * John Steinbeck
8 `Tis known by the name of perseverance in a good cause, and obstinacy in a bad one. * Laurence Sterne
8 Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. * Robert Louis Stevenson
8 A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. * Caskie Stinnett
6 Why does a woman work ten years to change a man`s habits and then complain that he`s not the man she married? * Barbara Streisand
3 Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren`t. * Margaret Thatcher
3 No woman in my time will be Prime Minister, Chancellor or Foreign Secretary. * Margaret Thatcher
14 Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? * James Thurber
7 My mistake was buying stock in the company. Now I worry about the lousy work I`m turning out. * Marvin Townsend
16 I don`t like her. But don`t misunderstand me, my dislike is purely platonic. * Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
3 I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. * Harry S Truman
3 Truman`s Law - If you can`t convince them, confuse them. * Harry S Truman
8 A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on it`s shoes. * Mark Twain
8 Man - a creature made at the end of the week`s work when God was tired. * Mark Twain
8 Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson. * Mark Twain
8 Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant, and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy. * Mark Twain
8 The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can`t read them. * Mark Twain
8 To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I`ve done it a thousand times. * Mark Twain
9 Invention is the mother of necessity. * Thorstein Veblen
8 I`m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults. * Gore Vidal
13 I have offended God and mankind because my work didn`t reach the quality it should have. * Leonardo da Vinci
8 I love being a writer. What I can`t stand is the paperwork. * Peter De Vries
8 We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. * Evelyn Waugh
0 Boy, am I exhausted! I went on a double date last night and the other girl didn`t show up. * Mae West
0 It`s not the men in my life, but the life in my men that counts. * Mae West
0 Marraige is a great institution, but I`m not ready for an institution yet. * Mae West
0 She`s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong. * Mae West
0 When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I`ve never tried before. * Mae West
13 I can`t tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring. * James McNeill Whistler
9 The total absence of humour from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature. * Alfred North Whitehead
8 Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much. * Oscar Wilde
8 Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. * Oscar Wilde
8 I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated His ability. * Oscar Wilde
8 One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. * Oscar Wilde
8 I can resist everything but temptation. * Oscar Wilde
8 To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance. * Oscar Wilde
8 When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old I know that it is. * Oscar Wilde
6 You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. * Hank Williams
10 Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. * Earl Wilson
3 One man`s wage increase is another man`s price increase. * Harold Wilson
8 Few things so speedily modify an uncle`s love as a nephew`s air gun bullet in the fleshy part of the leg. * P. G. Wodehouse
