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- J A C K A N D T H E B U L L
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- ---oOo---
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- a true story from Rod Henson
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- The first thing I must tell you, dear reader, is that this really happened. I
- was twelve years old when I went to stay with my Aunt May and Uncle George, and
- that was when I met Jack K., who had come to the village after the First World
- War. We did not know his age but I guess he was in his late 80s. He was a life-
- long bachelor, and even at that age he was tall, muscular, and with very little
- fat on him.
-
- I met the bull for the first time when I went to help my uncle with the cows.
- The bull was very, very big to a twelve year old, and had horns, but he was
- placid with everybody but Jack. I had seen Jack walk round the outside of his
- pen, always keeping his eyes on the bull and with the bull keeping his eyes on
- Jack. All I can tell you is that the bull had gorged Jack two years before I
- came to the village. So there are the characters of the story I am about to
- tell.
-
- It was a brilliant summer day when the Boss of the farm said he was going to
- move the bull from the field with the cows as he had done his job. So along we
- went to back up the lorry to the gate.
-
- Now, for all you readers who know nothing about cows, this is what should have
- happened. We'd drive the bull up to the gate with the cows, and then separate
- the bull from the cows. That's alright if the bull wants to do that, but he
- didn't and five times we drove him up to the gate and five times he put his two
- front feet on the ramp of the lorry and then turned and ran off with the cows.
-
- At this time, dear reader, I must tell you that the Boss had sent Jack off to
- the next field. So, for the sixth time we drove the cows and bull up to the
- gate, separated the bull from the cows, and for the sixth time he put his front
- feet on the ramp. And at that very moment Jack came out from behind the fence
- and, with a stick two foot long in his hands, lunged at the bull's rear end and
- caught the bull's balls with all the force he could muster. In all my 56 years
- of life I have never seen an animal jump so high and so far. He jumped so high
- that his head hit the roof of the lorry and so far that he hit the front of the
- cab before he crumpled down on the floor.
-
- We all stood there for a full 30 seconds as Jack walked away, looking over his
- shoulder saying "That's got you you B*******! That will teach you B**!!**!".
- Then I started laughing. I laughed till the tears ran down my face and my sides
- ached, and when I looked up there was my uncle holding onto a fence post and the
- Boss leaning against the side of the lorry.
-
- Old Jack died two years later, and the bull followed four months later. The
- night before the bull died he was very nervous and kept looking behind him, so
- my uncle said, "Jack's ghost?"
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- That's one hell of a story, Rod, and if everyone else laughs as much as Liz and
- I did, then I think it'll be one of the successes of this issue. But as for that
- two foot stick of Jack's.... ouch! It brings tears to my eyes.
-
- Thanks as well for the hedgehog advice, and especially for the tip about not
- keeping him on the same food all the time, and giving him some minced beef
- occasionally. That makes sense and it'll make it easier for to adapt to the
- 'wild' again. (If you can call a tiny garden in Bournemouth, 'the wild'...)
-
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- ~~~ eof ~~~
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