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From: [e-mail] (Nick Simicich)
Subject: [alt.fan.howard-stern] FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions about Howard Stern, Monthly Posting
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Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1992 10:10:37 GMT
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Archive-name: howard-stern/faq

The following is a major revision of the Howard Stern FAQ.

This newsgroup was formed so that fans of Howard Stern can discuss the
happenings on the show, the comings and goings, and other activities
of Howard Stern.  Some folks don't like Howard Stern.  We know that.
You don't have to take time out of your busy schedule to tell us that.
The answer here is the same as Howard's answer:  If you don't like it,
turn the dial, switch bands, change the station, find another
newsgroup.

Frequently asked questions about Howard Stern:

1.  Who is Howard Stern?  (Frequently heard from NONUS folks.)
1a. Howard Stern is a radio personality.  He came to national
    attention in the USA while working in New York, and currently
    resides there.  He also has a syndicated TV show.  He is
    frequently labeled a 'shock jock'.  Your immediate thought might
    be, "Oh, like xxxxxx (insert name of local shock jock in wherever
    you are)."  No, xxxxxx is like Howard Stern.  He has been around
    for years, he is well known, and chances are that this week xxxxxx
    is doing whatever Howard was doing last week.  If xxxxxx has the
    balls.  And more and more people, throughout the country, are
    finding this out.

2.  What station does Howard Stern's TV show play on in my area? Or, I
    heard that Howard's show was cancelled.  Is it true?
2a. Howard's original TV show is in reruns, or off of the air.
    Depending on who you listen to, it was cancelled, or Howard quit.
    I personally believe (and heard this version, once, on-the-air)
    that WWOR Channel 9 wanted Howard to do it for the same money he
    got the prior year, and Howard wanted a bigger budget and more
    money.  Channel 9 folks decided that they couldn't give Howard
    more money *and* make any money on the show, they wanted to cut
    the budget.  So Channel 9 executives wanted to put themselves in a
    good light by claiming that they fired Howard and made such an
    announcement.

    If you get the E Network on cable or satellite, you should now be
    able to get Howard's new talk show.  Unfortunately, I don't.

3.  No, I can't take it.  I have to have Howard on my TV.  Is there
    any way?
3a. Well, you can order Butt Bongo Fiesta, complete with 3-D glasses
    (what a great copy protection scheme!) and so forth for $34.95 +
    $5 shipping and handling, by calling 1-800-52-STERN.  18 and over
    and all that.

4.  Where can Howard be received on the Radio?
4a. Currently, he broadcasts, daily, from WXRK, K-Rock, 92.3 FM from
    New York City.  This signal is good enough to cover most of New
    York City and the surrounding areas.  This signal is simulcast in
    Philadelphia (WYSP-FM, 94.1), Baltimore (on WJFK-AM 1300), and
    Washington, DC (WJFK-FM, 106.7 FM), and is simulcast in LA and
    then rebroadcast on tape delay when morning drive starts.  The LA
    times and frequency are: 97.1 FM KLSX from 3 to 6am live, and then
    tape delayed from 6 to 11am.  The LA rebroadcast is extra long
    because they insert (yech) traffic reports and local stuff.

    Since I last updated this FAQ, Howard's show has spread.  He is in
    Las Vegas, Cleveland (WNCX 98.5), Dallas (KEGL, 97.1), and
    Chicago.  There is also 103.9 FM (Q104) in Albany.  In Chicago, he
    is on AM 1000.  Now, AM 1000 (WLUP) out of Chicago is a regional
    or National clear channel station, which means that they run
    50,000 watts of power, 24 hours a day.  This means that with an
    average car radio, you can pick up WLUP in, for example,
    Peekskill, NY where I live, at least at night.  I've listened to
    WLUP while driving through central New York with a better car
    radio, and I've listened to it in my bedroom at night on a digital
    tuning clock radio while trying hear Doctor Demento.  Expecially
    in the winter months, before dawn, you should be able to hear the
    first part of Howard's show over a good portion of North America,
    perhaps up to a thousand miles from Chicago, on skip.  There
    probably will be some fading.

    No, you probably can't hear these signals if you are in Boston.
    Bay area is out of luck as well.  Howard is not on shortwave
    unless someone is pirating his stuff.  AM is Medium Wave (MW) for
    you nonus folks.  (Folks, please email me frequencies and call
    signs, and I'll fill them in.)

5.  I'm not in any of those places.  Is there a satellite feed for
    WXRK?
5a. Yes, WXRK is broadcast by SCPC on Hughes Galaxy 2 channel 03, at
    about 57.5, according to Mark Geyman.  Again, you will need to be
    able to decode this feed, and you should ask your dish dealer, or
    in rec.video.satellite, how to decode it.

6.  How can one be expected to figure out who is who among the
    regulars on the show?
6a. Listen for a while.  Want to take a shortcut?  Here is an effort
    to explain:

    Howard Stern - The head of the asylum.  The ruler of the roost,
    the King on NY Radio, and All Media, and other points.

    Robin Quivers - Howard's sidekick.  Officially his news reporter,
    she is also the confidant and instigator in many cases, and also
    (occasionally) feeds him lines from the privacy of her news
    studio.  Her news reports normally consist of reading the paper,
    and a few things that are put together by her interns.  None the
    less, the news reports are frequently the most entertaining part
    of the show, as Howard comments on everything.

    Fred Norris, King of Mars - Fred handles sound effects (paints)
    and also keeps the show on schedule.  When Howard started
    broadcasting in NY, frequently he would just push off the
    commercials for an hour.  Now that they are syndicated, he has to
    take breaks at regular intervals.  Fred cracks the whip.  He is on
    the writing team.  Fred also does voices for the occasional (these
    days) radio 'movie' and as the Nazi in the 'Guess who's the Jew'
    bits.   Fred also does song parodies, and is a reasonably talented
    musician.

    Jackie (The Jokeman, Penthouse Jokepage) Martling - Jackie is a
    comic who never quite made it big, notably because his standup
    isn't very good IMHO.  He writes full time for the Howard Stern
    show, and makes a fair bit of money doing local appearances as
    well, pushed by plugs from the show.  One wonders when he sleeps.
    Maybe during the show.  +1 516 922 WINE gets you a schedule of his
    upcoming appearances, and it is a normal toll call (no 900 style
    surcharge) but has a few ads, and a few jokes.  There is more than
    30 minutes of material on the new all-digital line.  He is also on
    the writing team, as the head writer.  Jackie gets two plugs a
    day, by contract.

    Gary (Baba Booey) Dell'Abate (sp?) - The show's producer.  He
    arranges guests, insures that the office part of the show gets
    done, and so forth.  For those of you who've read Gulliver, he is
    also Howard's chief flapper - he is generally the one who makes
    the judgment as to whether or not someone speaks to Howard when
    they call up with a beef.  He is called Baba Booey after his
    mispronunciation of Baba Looey, Quick Draw McGraw's sidekick on
    the Hanna-Barbera cartoon show.  He was buying animation cels,
    and didn't know how to pronounce the name of the character,
    despite professing fandom.  Gary does occasional personal
    appearances, for which he gets plugs.  Gary has recently married.
    Despite predictions, some of them mine, he is still Baba Booey.
    He was making noise about registering Bababooey as a trademark
    recently.

    John (Stuttering John) Melandez - Hero of the stupid.  He was a
    paid performer on Channel 9, officially on WXRK he is just an
    intern.  He is paid in notoriety (he gets to plug his band
    appearances and occasional personal appearances, and has gotten a
    record contract because of his connections.  John has been signed
    by Atlantic Records). and is typically sent out to interview
    celebrities.  The questions are all prepared, but sometimes he
    gets to adlib.

    Scott the Engineer - mixes tapes, inserts the bleeps so that you
    can still hear the cursing in the background, and is hapless when
    it comes to fixing the console.  He is employed by WXRK as Chief
    Engineer, and he is in the Union.  He is making additional money
    because he gets a daily plug, which he has used to build up a DJ
    business.  He has a number of DJ's who work for him and provide
    canned music for parties, weddings (Gary will soon be married and
    will use Scott's service, Rocket Entertainment) and so forth.
    This is good, because Scott smokes like a chimney and I wouldn't
    want him at one of my parties.

    Gorilla is an intern who wants to be a radio personality someday,
    but who first needs to learn how to talk in English.

    We almost never hear about Robin's news interns.

7.  How can you listen to someone who is as racist/homophobic/anti
    woman/etc. as Howard Stern?
7a. You just don't get it, do you?  Howard is none of those things, in
    spades: He is an equal opportunity denigrator.  Sooner or later he
    will kick one of your sacred cows in the balls, to mix metaphors
    in an udderly improbable manner.  But he is still very funny.
    Someone on this newsgroup once said that a lot of Howard's humor
    comes from the sort of attitude that says, "Look at all of this
    crap in the world around us!  Isn't it wierd?  Isn't it funny?
    Sit in our circle and we'll let you in on the joke."  Well, some
    of us think that we get the joke.

8.  Is Howard Stern half Jewish?
8a. Definitely.  The question is, what is the other half?  According
    to Howard, it is not Jewish, perhaps WASP.  However, several alert
    readers of alt.fan.howard-stern believe that (with some reasonable
    proof), in fact, the other half is Jewish, and that the half-Jewish
    identity is something that Howard puts on so that he can insult
    both Christians and Jews with impunity.  However, he is equally
    free with insults of Muslims, Hindus, etc., and does not claim to
    be partially Muslim, so I, personally, don't know who to believe.

    Some folks on the net believe that the other half is Italian,
    based on something that Howard said a while back.  Others point
    out that you can be a Jewish Italian, so this may have been
    another joke.  The Jewish half and the Italian half may well be
    the same half.

9.  I want to write to Howard and tell him (what a dickhead | how
    wonderful) he is.  What is the address?
9a. His address is:
    The Howard Stern Show
    600 Madison Avenue
    New York, NY 10016

    Particularly vehement and stupid hate letters are likely to
    get read on the air.  Clueless ones well may earn a phone call.

    If you really can't wait, fax him at (212) 759-KFAX.

10. How do I get a copy of "Crucified by the FCC"?  I called
    1-800-52-STERN, and they didn't have a clue.

10a.They never had a clue, but at one time they could take orders for
    the album.  The album hasn't been for sale for quite a while, and
    is now a "collector's item".  This just goes to prove that you
    should always buy every Howard Stern premium offered, immediately.
    The 1-800-52-STERN is now in use for Butt Bongo Fiesta.

11. I don't get enough bababooey in the morning.  I want my computer
    to say 'bababooie' instead of beeping at me.  I have a
    Mac/Amiga/Soundblaster/NeXT box that can talk, and I want it to
    talk.

11a.This (alt.fan.howard-stern) is not in the binaries hierarchy.  Of
    course, you can post anything you want.  If various sysops notice
    that this group has become a binaries group, they will treat it
    like one, and those connected by phone line or concerned about
    disk space may not carry it.  As a hint: If your sysop does not
    carry the alt.binaries tree, they are unlikely to carry this group
    if it begins carrying binaries.

    Jeremy A. Moskowitz <[e-mail]> has been doing some
    digitizing, not only of soundbytes, but of whole songs.  These are
    digitized into Amiga .iff format at 11047 samples/sec.  If you are
    on one of these other systems, you will need to figure out how to
    convert the sounds to, say, .wav format if you want to play it
    with the Microsoft Windows multi-media program.  If you are
    interested in same, I'd like to refer you to the
    alt.binaries.sounds.misc FAQ, (may also be available in
    news.answers) which seems to cover this stuff fairly well.
    Briefly, they recommend sox, which you can get on
    wuarchive.wustl.edu.  Or use your nearby archie server.

    Jeremy puts the sounds onto the wuarchive.wustl.edu system in
    directory /systems/amiga/incoming/audio/howardstern, which seems
    like a heck of a good place.

    If you do want to post digitized soundbytes, please post them to
    alt.binaries.sounds.misc, or alt.sex.sounds, as appropriate, and
    post here saying that you've done so, and other things about the
    sounds, like maybe what the message ids are or when you posted
    them, or how many parts.  Anything seems to go there.  I've seen
    whole songs posted there in 41 parts.

12. I can't believe it.  Do people really strip naked in Howard's
    studio, or is it a put on?  Is it theatre of the mind, or is it
    really happening?

12a.According to Mark Levy, yes they do.  And I have it on good
    authority that Howard drinks Poland Spring water (Take that,
    Georgia!).

    I believe that some percentage of the folks who call in are bogus,
    but they are putting Howard on at the same time they are putting
    us on.

--
Nick Simicich - uunet!bywater!scifi!njs - [e-mail]
SSI #AOWI 3958, HSA 318, NAUI #14065
Join the movement ---  turn 'to bush' into a verb.