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Kompuutteri Kaikille K-CD 2000 #13
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K-CD-2000-13.iso
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Amused
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amused.js
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2000-06-08
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3KB
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38 lines
<!-- Begin
var h = 18
var q = new Array(h+1)
q[0]="Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
q[1]="Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing. "
q[2]="All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand."
q[3]="A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."
q[4]="Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!"
q[5]="What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."
q[6]="Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?"
q[7]="It's amazing what you can do when your wife puts your mind to it."
q[8]="It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
q[9]="Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any."
q[10]="Anything not nailed down is mine. (Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down)"
q[11]="Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply."
q[12]="Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
q[13]="A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee."
q[14]="Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?"
q[15]="Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it."
q[16]="Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
q[17]="Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
q[18]="Mixed emotions: Watching the school burn down when your new catcher's mitt is in your desk."
q[19]="Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface."
function r(){
var t = -1
while (t < 0 || t > h || isNaN(t)){
t = parseInt(Math.random()*(h+1))
}
return t
}
quo = r()
quox = q[quo]
document.write("<center><table border=0 bgcolor=#000000 cellpadding=2 cellpadding=0 width=120 height=100><tr><td><table border=0 bgcolor=#FFFFFF cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 width=100% height=100%><tr><td><center><a href=\"http://www.amused.com/coolsig.html\"><img border=0 src=\"http://www.amused.com/images/astar.gif\"></a><br><font face=\"Arial, Helvetica\" color=\"000000\" size=-1><b>" + quox + "</td></tr><tr><td><center><font size=-3 face=\"Arial, Helvetica\"><b><FORM name=\"colors\" method=\"get\"><SELECT name=\"c1\" size=\"1\" onChange=\"document.bgColor=c1.options[selectedIndex].value\"><OPTION value=\"#FFF8DC\">Cornsilk </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#E6E6FA\">Lavender </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#B0C4DE\">Lightsteelblue </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#FFE4E1\">Mistyrose</OPTION><OPTION value=\"#FFDAB9\">Peachpuff </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#87CEEB\">Skyblue </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#D8BFD8\">Thistle </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#F5DEB3\">Wheat </OPTION><OPTION value=\"#FFFFFF\">White </OPTION></SELECT></FORM><a href=\"http://www.amused.com/coolsig.html\">www.amused.com</a></center></font></b></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></center>")
// End -->