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Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations Absence See: Grief: Shakespeare Absence, hear thou my protestation Against thy strength, Distance and length. John Hoskins (1566-1638) English poet Absence Absence diminishes minor passions and inflames great ones, as the wind douses a candle and fans a fire. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Absence Judicious absence is a weapon. Charles Reade (1814-1884) English novelist Absence Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends. Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) Anglo-Irish novelist Absence Presents, I often say, endear absents. Charles Lamb (1775-1834) English essayist, critic Absence I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. Brendan Behan (1923-1964) Irish playwright Absence Absurdity See: Imitation: Johnson It is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) Emperor of France of his retreat from Moscow Absurdity Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny. Father Ronald Knox (1888-1957) British clergyman, writer Absurdity It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down . . . Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the fall of man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Absurdity There are few moments in a man's existence when he experiences so much ludicrous distress, or meets with so little charitable commiseration, as when he is in pursuit of his own hat. Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English novelist Absurdity Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Absurdity Abuse See: Controversy: Johnson Insults Praise: Steele Swearing: Cohen It seldom pays to be rude. It never pays to be only half-rude. Norman Douglas (1868-1952) British author Abuse Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Abuse A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing to another man than he has to knock him down. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Abuse There is more credit in being abused by fools than praised by rogues. F. E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead (1872-1930) British Conservative politician, lawyer Abuse Abuse is as great a mistake in controversy as panegyric in biography. Cardinal John Newman (1801-1890) English churchman, theologian Abuse I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. Touchstone, As You Like It William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Abuse A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Abuse Accusation Accuse. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Accusation Acquaintance I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquaintance. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Acquaintance Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Acquaintance Acting See: Busts: Davis Drink: Burton Acting is a question of absorbing other people's personalities and adding some of your own experience. Paul Newman (b. 1925) American film actor Acting Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. Quitting acting, that's the sign of maturity. Marlon Brando (b. 1924) American film actor Acting You spend all your life trying to do something they put people in asylums for. Jane Fonda (b. 1937) American film actress Acting Left eyebrow raised, right eyebrow raised. Roger Moore (b. 1928) British film and television actor on his acting range Acting Action See: Caution: Savile Eloquence: Lloyd George Hope: Levi It is vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquillity: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. George Eliot (1819-1880) English novelist Action The shortest answer is doing. Lord Herbert (1583-1648) English philosopher, diplomat Action Our actions are neither so good nor so evil as our impulses. Luc, Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715-1747) French moralist Action I prefer thought to action, an idea to an event, reflection to activity. Honore de Balzac (1799-1850) French writer Action Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Action If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well It were done quickly. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Action If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Action An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) German social philosopher, revolutionary Action Patience has its limits. Take it too far and it's cowardice. George Jackson (1942-1971) American radical Action What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, poet, philosopher Action Talk that does not end in any kind of action is better suppressed altogether. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish writer Action I want to see you shoot the way you shout. Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) American president Action Men of action intervene only when the orators have finished. Emile Gaboriau (1835-1873) French author Action Actors/Actresses See: Hollywood: Quinn Interviews: Hudson Marilyn Monroe Self-doubt: Field Theater: Duse A walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Actors/Actresses Have patience with the jealousies and petulance of actors, for their hour is their eternity. Richard Garnett (1835-1906) English author, bibliographer Actors/Actresses You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves. Michael Wilding (1912-1979) British actor Actors/Actresses And here come tired youths and maids That feign to love or sin In tones like rusty razor blades To tunes like smitten tin. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author Actors/Actresses A character actor is one who cannot act and therefore makes an elaborate study of disguise and stage tricks by which acting can be grotesquely simulated. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Actors/Actresses To see him act is like reading Shakespeare by flashes of lightning. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet of Edmund Kean Actors/Actresses Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him. Orson Welles (1915-1985) American filmmaker Actors/Actresses The only reason they come to see me is that I know that life is great - and they know I know it. Clark Gable (1901-1960) American film actor Actors/Actresses His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open. Howard Hughes (1905-1976) American businessman, film producer of Clark Gable Actors/Actresses He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth. Pauline Kael (b. 1919) American film critic of Robert Redford Actors/Actresses An actor is something less than a man, while an actress is something more than a woman. Richard Burton (1925-1984) British film actor Actors/Actresses She has a face that belongs to the sea and the wind, with large rocking-horse nostrils and teeth that you just know bite an apple every day. Cecil Beaton (1904-1980) British photographer of Katherine Hepburn Actors/Actresses Actresses will happen in the best-regulated families. Oliver Herford (1863-1935) American poet, illustrator Actors/Actresses For an actress to be a success she must have the face of Venus, the brains of Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros. Ethel Barrymore (1879-1959) American actress Actors/Actresses A deer in the body of a woman, living resentfully in the Hollywood zoo. Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987) American diplomat, writer of Greta Garbo Actors/Actresses An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. Francois Truffaut (1932-1984) French film director Actors/Actresses So much of our profession is taken up with pretending, that an actor must spend at least half his waking hours in a fantasy. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president Actors/Actresses Addicts See: Drugs: Bankhead; Neville Go mad, and beat their wives; Plunge (after shocking lives) Razors and carving knives Into their gizzards. C. S. Calverley (1831-1884) English poet Addicts All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is what is called damnation. W. H. Auden (1907-1973) Anglo-American poet Addicts Admiration Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Admiration Admiration is a very short-lived passion that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object, unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a new perpetual succession of miracles rising up to its view. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Admiration Usually we praise only to be praised. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Admiration No animal admires another animal. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) French scientist, philosopher Admiration Adolescence See: Boys: Rosebery The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy; but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thicksighted: thence proceeds mawkishness. John Keats (1795-1821) English poet Adolescence The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten. Jules Feiffer (b. 1929) American cartoonist Adolescence Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter if only we could prevent girls from being girls. Anthony Hope Hawkins (1863-1933) British novelist Adolescence For the affection of young ladies is of as rapid growth as Jack's beanstalk, and reaches right up to the sky in a night. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Adolescence Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951) American journalist Adolescence Adultery See: Catholicism: Menen Jealousy: Shakespeare The Suburbs: Bible, Jeremiah Adultery? Thou shalt not die: die for adultery? No! The wren goes to't, and the small gilded fly Does lecher in my sight. Let copulation thrive. Lear, King Lear William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adultery What men all gallantry, and gods adultery Is much more common where the climate's sultry. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Adultery Adultery is in your heart not only when you look with excessive sexual zeal at a woman who is not your wife, but also if you look in the same manner at your wife. Pope John Paul II (b. 1920) Adultery Having a wife, be watchful of thy friend, lest false to thee thy fame and goods he spend. Cato the Elder (234-149 BC) Roman statesman Adultery The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Adultery He that is robb'd, not wanting what is stol'n, Let him not know't, and he's not robbed at all. Othello, Othello William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adultery Adventure See: Caution: Jung; Savile Marriage: Voltaire Science: Freud Adventure is the champagne of life. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Adventure When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home. Thornton Wilder (1897-1975) American author Adventure One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. Andre Gide (1869-1951) French author Adventure If we do not find anything pleasant, at least we shall find something new. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Adventure The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. A fine example was the Prodigal Son - when he started back home. O. Henry (1862-1910) American short story writer Adventure Adversity See: Friends: Dietrich Hard Times Success: Carlyle The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. Seneca (c. 5-65) Roman writer, philosopher, statesman Adversity The struggle to the top is in itself enough to fulfill the human heart. Sisyphus should be regarded as happy. Albert Camus (1913-1960) French writer Adversity Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health. Carl Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist Adversity Not everything that is more difficult is more meritorious. Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) Italian philosopher, theologian Adversity A reasonable amount o' fleas is good fer a dog - keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog. Edward Noyes Westcott (1847-1898) American novelist Adversity By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Adversity Struggle is the father of all things . . . It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle. Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) German dictator Adversity In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. J. Churton Collins (1848-1908) English author, critic, scholar Adversity Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. Trinculo, The Tempest William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Adversity Advertising See: Royalty: Sampson You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. Norman Douglas (1868-1952) British author Advertising The incessant witless repetition of advertisers' moron-fodder has become so much a part of life that if we are not careful, we forget to be insulted by it. The London Times, 1986 Advertising Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket. George Orwell (1903-1950) British author Advertising Publicity is the life of this culture - in so far as without publicity capitalism could not survive - and at the same time publicity is its dream. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic Advertising We grew up founding our dreams on the infinite promise of American advertising. Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948) wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald Advertising The case cannot stand if it is the process of satisfying the wants that creates the wants. John Kenneth Galbraith (b. 1908) American economist Advertising Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. Marshall McLuhan (1911-1981) Canadian social scientist Advertising Advertising agency: eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. Fred Allen (1894-1957) American comic Advertising Advice See: Age: Old Age: La Rochefoucauld Royalty: Savile When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist Advice I have lived some thirty years on this planet, and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Advice The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Advice In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge. Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, man of letters Advice The only thing one can do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Advice A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. Ed (E. W.) Howe (1853-1937) American journalist, novelist Advice To ask advice is to tout for flattery. J. Churton Collins (1848-1908) English author, critic, scholar Advice Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Advice I'm not a teacher: only a fellow-traveller of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you. Bishop of Chelsea, Getting Married George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Advice Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Aesop (b. 6th century BC) Greek fabulist, slave Advice One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly: "Cheer up, things could get worse." So I cheered up and, sure enough, things got worse. James Hagerty (1909-1981) President Eisenhower's press secretary Advice Africa See: Decolonization: Lord Macmillan By the end of the century, Africa will either be saved or completely destroyed. Eden Kodjo (b. 1938) Togolese politician and administrator 1978-1984 Africa The Afterlife See: Christianity: Waller The Church: Robinson Immortality For the sword outwears its sheath, and the soul wears out the breast. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet The Afterlife We understand living for others and dying for others. The first is easy . . . it's a way out of boredom. To make the second popular we had to invent a belief in personal resurrection. Harley Granville-Barker (1877-1946) English actor, producer, author The Afterlife The dread of something after death, The undiscovered country, from whose bourn No traveller returns. Hamlet, Hamlet William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet The Afterlife The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker The Afterlife I don't want to express an opinion. You see, I have friends in both places. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author on his belief in heaven or hell The Afterlife Oh, one world at a time! Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist The Afterlife Never did Christ utter a single word attesting to a personal resurrection and a life beyond the grave. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian novelist, philosopher The Afterlife All argument is against it; but all belief is for it. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer The Afterlife Age See: Advice: Holmes Compliments: Irving Death: Dying: Thomas Emotion: Santayana The Generation Gap Innocence: Bradbury Marriage: Goldsmith Maturity Middle Age Sex: Plato Youth At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement. Henry Grattan (1746-1820) Irish politician Age The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer Age If youth but knew; if age but could. Henri Estienne (1531-1598) French scholar, publisher Age What youth deemed crystal, age finds out was dew. Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Age Every man over forty is a scoundrel. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Age I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40. James Thurber (1894-1961) American humorist, illustrator Age What's a man's age? He must hurry more, that's all; Cram in a day what his youth took a year to hold. Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Age A man's as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks. Mortimer Collins (1827-1876) English novelist, poet Age When a woman tells you her age it's all right to look surprised, but don't scowl. Wilson Mizner (1876-1933) American dramatist, wit Age A lady of a "certain age," which means Certainly aged. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Age The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the ages of other women. Diane de Poitiers (1499-1566) mistress of Henri II of France, patron Age When women pass thirty, they first forget their age; when forty, they forget that they ever remembered it. Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) French society lady, wit Age You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Age The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. Sigmund Z. Engel (1869-?) Age Age: Old Age Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yellow cheek? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an increasing belly? is not your voice broken? your wind short? your chin double? your wit single? and every part about you blasted with antiquity? Chief Justice, King Henry IV part 2 William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age At seventy-seven it is time to be earnest. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Age: Old Age Forty years on, growing older and older, Shorter in wind, as in memory long, Feeble of foot, and rheumatic of shoulder What will it help you that once you were strong? E. E. Bowen (1836-1901) English schoolmaster Age: Old Age All would live long, but none would be old. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, writer Age: Old Age O what a thing is age! Death without death's quiet. Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864) English author Age: Old Age And we who once rang out like a bell Have nothing now to show or to sell; Old bones to carry, old stories to tell: So it is to be an Old Soldier. Padraic Colum (1881-1972) Irish author Age: Old Age When a man fell into his anecdotage it was a sign for him to retire from the world. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Age: Old Age Talking is the disease of age. Ben Jonson (1573-1637) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age A good old man, sir, he will be talking; as they say, "when the age is in, the wit is out." Dogberry, Much Ado About Nothing William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! Falstaff, King Henry IV part 2 William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age An old man gives good advice to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad example. Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Age: Old Age Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Age: Old Age An old man concludeth from his knowing mankind that they know him too, and that maketh him very wary. Sir George Savile, Lord Halifax (1633-1695) English statesman, author Age: Old Age As a matter of fact, elderly people are not more contemptible than anyone else. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist Age: Old Age One evil in old age is that, as your time is come, you think every little illness the beginning of the end. When a man expects to be arrested, every knock at the door is an alarm. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Age: Old Age No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year. Cicero (106-43 BC) Roman orator, philosopher Age: Old Age To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. Bernard Baruch (1870-1965) American financier Age: Old Age Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man. Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) Russian revolutionary leader Age: Old Age I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Age: Old Age The mere process of growing old together will make the slightest acquaintance seem a bosom friend. Logan Pearsall Smith (1865-1946) Anglo-American essayist Age: Old Age The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author Age: Old Age Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Age: Old Age Many a man that can't direct you to a corner drugstore will get a respectful hearing when age has further impaired his mind. Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American journalist, humorist Age: Old Age Young men soon give, and soon forget affronts: Old age is slow in both. Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist Age: Old Age Old men are testy, and will have their way. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English poet Age: Old Age Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle. Edna Ferber (1887-1968) American author Age: Old Age There are three classes of elderly women; first, that dear old soul; second, that old woman; third, that old witch. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834) English poet Age: Old Age Growing old is more like a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form. Andre Maurois (1885-1967) French author Age: Old Age I prefer old age to the alternative. Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972) French singer, actor Age: Old Age I have lived long enough; my way of life Is fall'n into the sear, the yellow leaf; And that which should accompany old age, As honour, love, obedience, troops of friends, I must not look to have. Macbeth, Macbeth William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Age: Old Age What is the worst of woes that wait on age? What stamps the wrinkle deeper on the brow? To view each loved one blotted from life's page, And be alone on earth, as I am now. Lord Byron (1788-1824) English poet Age: Old Age They are all gone into the world of light, And I alone sit lingering here. Henry Vaughan (1622-1695) Welsh poet Age: Old Age Agents See: Advertising: Allen Many artists have admittedly no aptitude for merchantry. Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) British novelist Agents It is well-known what a middleman is: he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Agents The trouble with this business is that the stars keep ninety percent of my money. attributed to Lord Grade (b. 1906) British film and TV entrepreneur Agents My agents get ten percent of everything I get, except my blinding headaches. Fred Allen (1894-1957) American comic Agents Aggression Attack is the reaction; I never think I have hit hard unless it rebounds. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Aggression To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight to the blood. George Santayana (1863-1952) American philosopher, poet Aggression Agnostics See: Humanism: Russell O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul. Joseph Ernest Renan (1823-1892) French writer, critic, scholar Agnostics I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. Clarence Darrow (1857-1938) American lawyer, writer Agnostics I can't believe in the God of my Fathers. If there is one Mind which understands all things, it will comprehend me in my unbelief. I don't know whose hand hung Hesperus in the sky, and fixed the Dog Star, and scattered the shining dust of Heaven, and fired the sun, and froze the darkness between the lonely worlds that spin in space. Gerald Kersh (1911-1968) British author, journalist Agnostics Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Agnostics The skeptic does not mean him who doubts, but him who investigates or researches, as opposed to him who asserts and thinks that he has found. Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher, poet, novelist Agnostics If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. Woody Allen (b. 1935) American filmmaker Agnostics Agreement See: Consensus Men and Women: Santayana It is my melancholy fate to like so many people I profoundly disagree with and often heartily dislike people who agree with me. Mary Kingsley (1862-1900) British traveler, writer Agreement My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) English prime minister Agreement Elinor agreed with it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. Jane Austen (1775-1817) English novelist Agreement When you say that you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice. Prince Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898) Prussian statesman Agreement Aid See: Charity: Huddleston; Rockefeller The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray. Ralph G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer Aid Help a man against his will and you do the same as murder him. Horace (65-8 BC) Latin poet Aid It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of a rope. Bugs (Arthur) Baer (1897-1975) American columnist, short story writer Aid AIDS Any important disease whose causality is murky, and for which treatment is ineffectual, tends to be awash in significance. Susan Sontag (b. 1933) American essayist AIDS I've spent fifteen years of my life fighting for our right to be free and make love whenever, wherever . . . And you're telling me that all those years of what being gay stood for is wrong . . . and I'm a murderer. We have been so oppressed! Don't you remember how it was? Can't you see how important it is for us to love openly, without hiding and without guilt? Mickey, The Normal Heart Larry Kramer (b. 1935) American playwright, novelist AIDS Everywhere I go I see increasing evidence of people swirling about in a human cesspit of their own making. James Anderton (b. 1932) British Chief Constable, Greater Manchester Police Force of the AIDS epidemic AIDS We're all going to go crazy, living this epidemic every minute, while the rest of the world goes on out there, all around us, as if nothing is happening, going on with their own lives and not knowing what it's like, what we're going through. We're living through war, but where they're living it's peacetime, and we're all in the same country. Ned, The Normal Heart Larry Kramer (b. 1935) American playwright, novelist AIDS The thing is evolving in front of one's eyes. One realises that anything one's saying is only a snapshot in time. London doctor (d. 1986) AIDS Alliances Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations - entangling alliance with none. Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American president Alliances When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Alliances Whomsoever England allies herself with, she will see her allies stronger than she is herself at the end of this war. Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) German dictator April 26, 1942 Alliances Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Alliances Our desire is to be friendly to every country in the world, but we have no desire to have a friendly country choosing our enemies for us. Julius Nyerere (b. 1921) African statesman, president of Tanzania Alliances An ally has to be watched just like an enemy. Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) Russian revolutionary leader Alliances Altruism See: Benefactors Philanthropy As for doing good, that is one of the professions that are full. Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American philosopher, author, naturalist Altruism He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars. General good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, and flatterer; for art and science cannot exist but in minutely organized Particulars. William Blake (1757-1827) English poet, artist Altruism No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good. Mandell Creighton (1843-1901) English prelate, historian Altruism Such a good friend that she will throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again. Charles, Count Talleyrand (1754-1838) French statesman of Madame de Stael Altruism Ambition See: Getting Ahead Politicians: Jefferson Poverty: Juvenal Promotion: Wilson Men would be angels, angels would be gods. Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet Ambition What parish priest would not like to be Pope? Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher, writer Ambition It is a strange desire to seek power and to lose liberty. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist Ambition Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Ambition Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable. Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French essayist, moralist Ambition As he was valiant, I honour him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew him. Brutus, Julius Caesar William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist, poet Ambition Ambition can creep as well as soar. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman Ambition Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Ambition 'Tis not what man does which exalts him, But what man would do! Robert Browning (1812-1889) English poet Ambition America See: The Consumer Society: Stevenson Dissent: Thurber Fame: Chesterton Heroes: Sullivan The New World New York Success: James Technology: Galbraith Texas Young man, there is America, which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories of strange men and uncouth manners. Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish philosopher, statesman America Of course, America had often been discovered before, but it had always been hushed up. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer America God had a divine purpose in placing this land between two great oceans to be found by those who had a special love of freedom and courage. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president America America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929) French politician, prime minister America America is a mistake, a giant mistake! Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) Austrian psychiatrist America "Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me; I lift my lamp beside the golden door." Emma Lazarus (1849-1887) American poet 'The New Colossus' - sonnet written for inscription on the Statue of Liberty America Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea. John Gunther (1901-1970) American journalist America I believe in America because we have great dreams - and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true. Wendell L. Wilkie (1892-1944) American lawyer, businessman, politician America Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America is the only idealistic nation in the world. Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) American president America The American ideal is, after all, that everyone should be as much alike as possible. James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist America America is a tune. It must be sung together. Gerald Stanley Lee (1862-1944) American academic America There is nothing wrong with America that together we can't fix. Ronald Reagan (b. 1911) American president America That impersonal insensitive friendliness that takes the place of ceremony in that land of waifs and strays. Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966) British novelist America America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair. Arnold Joseph Toynbee (1889-1975) British historian America America . . . just a nation of two hundred million used-car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable. Hunter S. Thompson (b. 1939) American journalist America When great nations fear to expand, shrink from expansion, it is because their greatness is coming to an end. Are we, still in the prime of our lusty youth, still at the beginning of our glorious manhood, to sit down among the outworn people, to take our place with the weak and the craven? A thousand times no! Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) American president America The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years. Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Anglo-Irish writer America Woman governs America because America is a land of boys who refuse to grow up. Salvador de Madariaga (1886-1978) Spanish diplomat, writer, critic America America is not a young land: it is old and dirty and evil before the settlers, before the Indians. The evil is there waiting. William S. Burroughs (b. 1914) American author America The great social adventure of America is no longer the conquest of the wilderness but the absorption of fifty different peoples. Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) American journalist America America is God's Crucible, the great Melting-Pot where all the races of Europe are melting and re-forming. Israel Zangwill (1864-1926) British writer America America, half-brother of the world! Philip Bailey (1816-1902) British poet America America lives in the heart of every man everywhere who wishes to find a region where he will be free to work out his destiny as he chooses. Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) American president America The business of America is business. Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933) American president America In America people never obey people, they obey justice, or the law. Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-1859) French historian, politician America The United States has to move very fast to even stand still. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president America If you think the US has stood still, who built the largest shopping-center in the world? Richard Nixon (b. 1913) American president America In America you watch TV and think that's totally unreal, then you step outside and it's just the same. Joan Armatrading (b. 1947) British singer America Your women shall scream like peacocks when they talk, and your men neigh like horses when they laugh. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English author America I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President. Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) English comic actor, director America In Boston they ask, "How much does he know?" In New York, "How much is he worth?" In Philadelphia "Who were his parents?" Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author America A Boston man is the east wind made flesh. Thomas Appleton (1812-1884) American author America Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) American president America The people are unreal. The flowers are unreal, they don't smell. The fruit is unreal, it doesn't taste of anything. The whole place is a glaring, gaudy, nightmarish set, built upon the desert. Ethel Barrymore (1879-1959) American actress of Los Angeles America A city with all the personality of a paper cup. Raymond Chandler (1888-1959) American writer of Los Angeles America California is a place where a boom mentality and a sense of Chekhovian loss meet in uneasy suspension; in which the mind is troubled by some buried but ineradicable suspicion that things had better work here, because here, beneath that immense bleached sky, is where we run out of continent. Joan Didion (b. 1934) American writer America Out where the hanclasp's a little stronger, Out where the smile dwells a little longer, That's where the West begins. Arthur Chapman (1873-1935) American poet, author America If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951) American journalist America Americans See: Courtesy: Bradbury Europe: Emerson Friendliness: Thoreau Gentlemen: Dickens Insults: Gallico Paris: Wilde Promiscuity: McCarthy I am willing to love all mankind, except an American. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Americans For other nations, utopia is a blessed past never to be recovered; for Americans it is just beyond the horizon. Henry Kissinger (b. 1923) American adviser on international affairs Americans There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Americans People in America, of course, live in all sorts of fashions, because they are foreigners, or unlucky, or depraved, or without ambition; people live like that, but Americans live in white detached houses with green shutters. Rigidly, blindly, the dream takes precedence. Margaret Mead (1901-1978) American anthropologist Americans American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British author Americans Only in America . . . do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and down Collins Avenue in Florida in pedalpushers and mink stoles - and with opinions on every subject under the sun. Philip Roth (b. 1933) American novelist Americans Since the earliest days of our frontier irreverence has been one of the signs of our affection. Dean Rusk (b. 1909) American diplomat Americans Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we've got a lot more beefsteak than any other country, and that's why you ought to be glad you're an American. And people have started looking at these big hunks of bloody meat on their plates, you know, and wondering what on earth they think they're doing. Kurt Vonnegut (b. 1922) American novelist Americans When you consider how indifferent Americans are to the quality and cooking of the food they put into their insides, it cannot but strike you as peculiar that they should take such pride in the mechanical appliances they use for its excretion. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British author Americans Americans are rather like bad Bulgarian wine: they don't travel well. Bernard Falk (1882-1960) British author Americans Americans are uneasy with their possessions, guilty about power, all of which is difficult for Europeans to perceive because they are themselves so truly materialistic, so versed in the uses of power. Joan Didion (b. 1934) American writer Americans Amorality It is safest to be moderately base - to be flexible in shame, and to be always ready for what is generous, good and just, when anything is to be gained by virtue. Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English writer, clergyman Amorality If he does really think that there is no distinction between virtue and vice, why, Sir, when he leaves our houses let us count our spoons. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Amorality Anarchism See: Socialism: Crosland The State: Bakunin; Kropotkin Our idea of anarchism is launched: nongovernment is developing as non-property did before. Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865) French social theorist Anarchism Preferring personal government, with its tact and flexibility, is called royalism. Preferring impersonal government, with its dogmas and definitions, is called republicanism. Objecting broadmindedly both to kings and creeds is called Bosh - at least, I know no more philosophical word for it. G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English author Anarchism Anarchism is the only philosophy which brings to man the consciousness of himself; which maintains that God, the State, and society are non-existent, that their promises are null and void, since they can be fulfilled only through man's subordination. Emma Goldman (1869-1940) American anarchist Anarchism Dame dynamite, que l'on danse vite . . . Dansons et chansons et dynamitons! Lady Dynamite, let's dance quickly, Let's dance and sing and dynamite everything! French anarchist song of the 1880s Anarchism Ancestry See: The Aristocracy: Burton Snobbery: Agar Tradition: Chesterton; Burke Every man is an omnibus in which his ancestors ride. Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) American writer, physician Ancestry Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894) Scottish novelist, essayist, poet Ancestry Geneology. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own. Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American author Ancestry Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Anglo-Irish playwright, critic Ancestry It is indeed a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. Plutarch (46-120) Greek essayist, biographer Ancestry Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies. Saint Paul (3-67) Apostle to the Gentiles Ancestry There is a certain class of people who prefer to say that their fathers came down in the world through their own follies than to boast that they rose in the world through their own industry and talents. It is the same shabby-genteel sentiment, the same vanity of birth which makes men prefer to believe that they are degenerated angels rather than elevated apes. W. Winwoode Reade (1838-1875) English traveler, author Ancestry I would rather make my name than inherit it. William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English author Ancestry I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be. Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) American president Ancestry In church your grandsire cut his throat; To do the job too long he tarried: He should have had my hearty vote To cut his throat before he married. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Ancestry Anecdotes See: Age: Old Age: Disraeli With a tale, forsooth, he cometh unto you; with a tale which holdeth children from play, and old men from the chimney corner. Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586) English poet, critic, soldier Anecdotes The history of a soldier's wound beguiles the pain of it. Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) English author Anecdotes If it isn't true at least it's a happy invention. Giordano Bruno (1548-1600) Italian philosopher Anecdotes A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people haven't. Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944) American writer Anecdotes How is it that we remember the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not remember how often we have recounted it to the same person? Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer, moralist Anecdotes We may be willing to tell a story twice, never to hear it more than once. William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist Anecdotes Faith! he must make his stories shorter Or change his comrades once a quarter. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) Anglo-Irish satirist Anecdotes Anger See: Patience: Dryden Speeches: Emerson Anger is a kind of temporary madness. Saint Basil (330-379) Greek theologian Anger Anger is one of the sinews of the soul; he that lacks it has a maimed mind. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661) English cleric Anger Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury like a woman scorn'd. William Congreve (1670-1729) English dramatist Anger No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American critic Anger Angling The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but obtainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. John Buchan (1875-1940) British author, statesman Angling We may say of angling as Dr. Boteler said of strawberries, "Doubtless God could have made a better berry, but doubtless God never did"; and so, if I might be judge, "God never did make a more calm, quiet, innocent recreation than angling." Izaak Walton (1593-1683) English author, biographer Angling Fly fishing may be a very pleasant amusement; but angling or float fishing I can only compare to a stick and a string, with a worm at one end and a fool at the other. Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, lexicographer Angling Animals See: Dogs Horses Nothing to be done really about animals. Anything you do looks foolish. The answer isn't in us. It's almost as if we're put here on earth to show how silly they aren't. Russell Hoban (b. 1925) British author Animals They do not sweat and whine about their condition, They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins, They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God, Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things, Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago. Walt Whitman (1819-1892) American poet Animals We know what animals do and what beaver and bears and salmon and other creatures need, because once our men were married to them and they acquired this knowledge from their animal wives. native Hawaiians quoted by Levi-Strauss in The Savage Mind Animals A peasant becomes fond of his pig and is glad to salt away its pork. What is significant, and is so difficult for the urban stranger to understand, is that the two statements are connected by an and and not by a but. John Berger (b. 1926) British critic Animals Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain (1835-1910)