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1995-02-25
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Foreword - this is a real time article and of course I could not have known how
bad that season was going to be. Press 'P'.
22nd March 1994
FORMULA ONE 1994 SEASON - ARG'S PREVIEW
I have just spent all my time since 6:30 doing homework. It is now 9:00.
That's, er, 2.5 hours. Since Protext was already loaded, I decided to write my
preview for the 1994 F1 season, which is being completely hyped by everyone:
everybody thinks that Tyrrell and Ferrari will recover, that Damon Hill will
win the championship, that Lotus and Sauber are in with a chance of achieving
anything worthwhile, and that Alain Prost will drive for McLaren.
My advice to these people is: GET A LIFE!
All the information here is taken from F1 News (March 8th), the BBC Grand Prix
94 magazine, and a section from the Daily Mail which I only saw a few hours
ago.
Here are all the teams, drivers and courgettes for the coming season:
These descriptions are laid out like this:
FULL NAME OF TEAM (Name of chassis - Engine)
X: Fred Bloggs (Nationality. Races: 5634563. Points: 344578678578)
Y: Nathan Zonk (Serbian. Races: 0. Points: 0)
Comment - This is an example if you hadn't guessed...
Let's go, then... By the way, I have no points information for Martin Brundle
because GP 94 thought that it would be Alain Prost in his place!)
ROTHMANS WILLIAMS RENAULT (Williams FW16 - Renault V10)
0: Damon Hill (British. Races: 18. Points: 69)
2: Ayrton Senna (Brazillian. Races: 158. Points: 610)
Comment - I would like to congratulate Williams on winning the constructors
championship, and Ayrton Senna for winning the drivers championship!
TYRRELL RACING ORGANISATION (Tyrrell 022 - Yamaha V10)
3: Ukyo Katayama. (Japanese. Races: 30. Points: 0)
4: Mark Blundell. (British. Races: 30. Points: 11)
Comment - Does anybody else other than Tyrrell seriously believe that they'll
do any better than they did last year? Blundell thinks that his move was not a
step down in his career. Snigger.
MILD SEVEN BENETTON FORD (Benetton B194 - Ford V8)
5: Micheal Schumacher (German. Races: 38. Points: 109)
6: JJ Lehto (Finnish. Races: 54. Points: 9)
Comment - Not many people doubt that Ayrton Senna is the only driver better
than Schumacher. However, the Benetton car just isn't good enough to beat the
Williams consistently (note - I didn't know at the time, but in fact the
Benetton was a million times better than the Williams, which had severe
suspension problems). As for JJ, I'm sure that Benetton know what they're
doing, although I don't think he'll be any better than Riccardo Patrese was
last year. NEWSFLASH: JJ Lehto, due to an injury during the winter, will not be
taking part in the first five races. Benetton tester Jos Verstappen will race
in his place.
MARLBORO MCLAREN PEUGEOT (McLaren MP4/9 - Peugeot V10)
7: Mika Hakkinen (Finnish. Races: 44. Points: 17)
8: Martin Brundle (British. Races: ?. Points: A reasonably good amount)
Comment - They may have lost Senna, but Hakkinen is capable of doing very well.
I'm not sure whether Brundle will be racing or not, but with Alain Prost gone,
they don't have many options. Let's hope that Brundle will at last have a
chance to prove himself. Do we dare say that McLaren will win a race? It's not
impossible.
ARROWS GRAND PRIX INTERNATIONAL (Footwork FA15 - Ford V8)
9: Christian Fittipaldi (Brazillian. Races: 24. Points: 6)
10: Gianni Morbidelli (Italian. Races: 34. Points: 0.5) (????)
Comment - Please insert that word that begins with 'C' and ends with 'P'
somewhere around here. Fittipaldi has yet to prove that he is any good. Quite
how Morbidelli managed to get half a point is beyond me, but Alain Prost
managed it once. As for the car, well, last year, it was one of the worst...
Because there are 28 drivers this season, two will not qualify every race. Dare
we suggest Arrows?
(Note - no, we don't... Both the drivers were actually quite good)
TEAM LOTUS (Lotus 107C - Mugen Honda V10)
11: Johnny Herbert (British. Races: 47. Points: 18)
12: Pedro Lamy (Portugese. Races: 4. Points: 0)
Comment - Good drivers, bad car. Johnny Herbert's contract has glued him to the
team, and as for Pedro Lamy, well, I hear they worship him like a god in
Portugal. Hell, it must be awful there. Anyway, personally, I don't think
they've got any chance whatsoever.
SASOL JORDAN (Jordan 194 - Hart V10)
14: Rubens Barrichello (Brazillian. Races: 16. Points: 2)
15: Eddie Irvine (Irish. Races: 2. Points: 1)
Comment - Two top drivers. They could do really well this season. Barrichello
is a top new talent - he would have come second in his third Grand Prix in
Donington last year if it hadn't been for some kind of technical fault. If
Senna had been out, he might have won... Wahey! Irvine is famous for battling
with Damon Hill and Ayrton Senna in his first race - Senna was trying to lap
him! He is also famous for being smacked in the gob by Senna after the race...
Don't know what he'll be like on the other tracks, but I look forward to the
Japanese Grand Prix this year!
TOURTEL LARROUSE F1 (Larrousse LH194 - Ford V8)
19: Erik Comas (French. Races: 44. Points: 5)
20: Olivier Beretta (Monegasque.Races: 0. Points: 0)
Comment - Definite contenders. For the worst team. Ha ha. Not a lot to be said,
really. Basically, they're crap...
By the way, 'Monegasque' means from Monaco, if you were wondering...
MINARDI SCUDERIA ITALIA (Minardi M194 - Ford V8)
23: Michele Alboreto (Italian. Races: 178. Points: 185.5) (??? Again)
24: Pierluigi Martini (Italian. Races: 94. Points: 14)
Comment - I vote that these are the best of the worst cars, if you get my
meaning... Minardi have now merged with Scuderia Italia. They were teamed up
with .. hem hem.. Lola, last year, if you remember. Shame they still haven't
got those flames, they looked quite nice... This is Alboreto's last chance...
LIGIER GITANES BLONDES (Ligier JS39B - Renault V10)
25: Eric Bernard (French. Races: 31. Points: 6)
26: Olivier Panis (French. Races: 0. Points: 0)
Comment - The boss of Ligier has been arrested for fraud! The team has no
chance, what with their previously good car being totally buggered up. Eric
Bernard might do well. Then again, he might not. How would I know? Olivier
Panis is a man of mystery who nobody has ever heard of...
Hey, take a look at the photo of the Ligier in GP 94... Notice that it is
facing the camera, despite the fact that the camera is at the side of the
track! Wow, Eric Bernard must be handling the car really well!
SCUDERIA FERRARI (Ferrari 412 T1 - Ferrari V12)
27: Jean Alesi (French. Races: 71. Points: 76)
28: Gerhard Berger (Austrian. Races: 147. Points: 265)
Comment - Things can only get better... Maybe they will. Or not, as the case
may be. Jean Alesi did brilliantly in Italy last year. Gerhard Berger
disappeared into obscurity last year. The only interesting thing he did was
drive at 90 degrees to the direction he was supposed to drive in, nearly taking
Derek Warwick (who isn't here this season) with him.
SAUBER (Sauber C13 - Mercedes V10)
29: Karl Wendlinger (Austrian. Races: 32. Points: 10)
30: Heinz-Harald Frentzen (German. Races: 0. Points: 0)
Comment - Who knows how the Mercedes engine will compare to the others? This
team didn't exactly do brilliantly last year, coming sixth in the championship,
and I don't know if that'll change this year. I know nothing about either of
the drivers (they hardly did anything on Wendlinger last year. The TV cameras,
that is.)
MTV SIMTEK (S941 - Ford V8)
31: David Brabham (Australian. Races: 8. Points: 0)
32: Roland Ratzenberger (Austrian. Races: 0. Points: 0)
Comment - A new team. David Brabham is the son of Sir Jack Brabham. He's never
actually finished a race. I've never heard of Roland Ratzenberger. He is
contracted only for the first five races. I don't know who will come later, but
everyone else says Jean-Marc Gounon so it'll probably be him. Personally, from
looking at Brabham's records, I reckon this'll be the worst team... (I'm being
very subtle today, aren't I?)
PACIFIC GRAND PRIX LIMITED (Pacific PR01 - Ilmor V10)
33: Paul Belmondo. (French. Races: 5. Points: 0)
34: Bertrand Gachot (Belgian. Races: 31. Points: 5)
Comment - Another new team. Nothing is known. I'm too bored to write any more
about these incredibly boring teams. Let's get on with the rest of the article.
This is the last team, anyway... Thank God...
Well, here's my predictions for the drivers championships!:
1) Ayrton Senna (Williams) 2) Damon Hill (Williams)
3) Micheal Schumacher (Benetton) 4) Martin Brundle (McLaren)
5) Mika Hakkinen (McLaren) 6) Jean Alesi (Ferrari)
7) Gerhard Berger (Ferrari) 8) JJ Lehto (Benetton)
9) Rubens Barrichello (Jordan) 10) Eddie Irvine (Jordan)
11) Johnny Herbert (Lotus) 12) Karl Wendlinger (Sauber)
13) Mark Blundell (Tyrrell) 14) Heinz-Harald Frentzen (Sauber)
15) Eric Bernard (Ligier) 16) Pierluigi Martini (Minardi)
17) Christian Fittipaldi (Arrows) 18) Michele Alboreto (Minardi)
19) Olivier Panis (Ligier) 20) Bertrand Gachot (Pacific)
21) Erik Comas (Larrousse) 22) Gianni Morbidelli (Arrows)
23) Pedro Lamy (Lotus) 24) Paul Belmondo (Pacific)
25) Ukyo Katayama (Tyrrell) 26) David Brabham (Simtek)
27) Olivier Beretta (Larrousse) 28) Jos Verstappen (Benetton)
29) Jean-Marc Gounon (Simtek) 30) Roland Ratzenberger (Simtek)
Notice that there are 3 Benetton drivers and 3 Simtek drivers. This is because
Roland Ratzenberger and Jos Verstappen will be standing in the first five
races.
That's all for now. Next time I write, I'll give my predictions for the 1995
teams and drivers!
SATURDAY 26th MARCH
Day before the Brazillian Grand Prix
15:46
I have just watched the 10 minute preview of the 1994 season on BBC 1. I am a
bit pissed off, because I thought the preview was 50 minutes long - this is
because they do all the sports stuff in the TV magazine in a very strange way.
Because I thought it was 50 minutes long, I waited for two hours just watching
some extremely boring programmes on telly (yes, and that does include Nigel
Mansell's IndyCar 94, since I do not have the slightest interest in Indycars).
Well, on his way right now to my house is top (???) F1 driver Ben Price. You
haven't heard of him? This is because he plays Microprose Formula One Grand
Prix on my ST! He has only ever won one race (and that was on Semi Pro level),
in the US Grand Prix - that was a complete fluke, since in his first season on
the game, he didn't score any points (but, thanks to me, our team still won the
constructors championship!).
I got a chance to write.. the doorbell... here he is. He says that he won
twice, but I can't remember the other one. Anyway, I got a chance to quickly
write down the fastest six qualifiers (just the first results of qualifying).
Ben says that they will try to show the absolute results at the end of
Grandstand, so I will try to find out the official qualifications. Anyway, here
are the first set of qualifying results:
1) Ayrton Senna (Williams)
2) Micheal Schumacher (Benetton)
3) Jean Alesi (Ferrari)
4) Karl Wendlinger (Sauber)
5) Mika Hakkinen (McLaren)
6) Heinz-Harald Frentzen (Sauber)
7) Damon Hill (Williams)
Well, those were the only ones I was able to write down. Also, Ben says:
12) Martin Brundle (McLaren)
15) Eddie Irvine (Jordan)
17) Mark Blundell (Tyrrell) (HA HA)
22) Johnny Herbert (Lotus)
Now, I don't know about you, but I really dislike these results. It's not
natural to have Ferraris and Saubers up at the front. There should be more
McLarens and Benettons and Williams at the front, not all these other teams.
I've got a bad feeling about this season. It just won't be the same. And what
really annoys me is that the BBC aren't showing the entire race. They could at
least record it, like they did in Japan and Australia. (Ben - Well they didn't
so there.). I don't really give a s**t if they didn't. The BBC have got a moral
right to show us the races...
Ben has just buggered up the computer, trying to press weird combinations of
keys... Now ... Aaarrggh, he had switched off Word Wrap as well. And he's also
clipped something to me, and he's using my clock to find out the time in Sao
Paulo.... Well, I'll be back tomorrow...
Bye for now. We're off to play F1...
Welcome back. It is now 7:30 pm, Saturday 26th March 1994. I have just phoned
Clive Scammell, who is also known as Spike. Let me tell you some stuff about
him:
- He has a completely knackered ST, same specification as mine. He likes to
solder it while it is still switched on. He uses it for electronics practice.
- He also has an A1200 which he uses all the time.
- He has written two games (documentations by me) called SkyFighter (released
this time last year) and Airfighter (which may be released when I go to his
house next week).
- He is a massive Formula One fan.
- He is a master on Microprose Formula One Grand Prix. He uses completely
psycho setups with hardly any downforce on the back, and lots on the front.
Both he and I can win a 100% race distance season on Ace level. The reason I
say 'can' is that, while he has done loads of championships like this, I just
haven't finished mine - although I have won 9 out of 9 races so far...
- On F1GP, he says that he is capable of breaking lap records by up to 13
seconds! I don't doubt this - he beat me on my best track by 20 seconds, and
that was with his psycho setup!
Anyway, as I was saying, I phoned Spike. He has got Teletext on his TV, so he
knows all the latest qualifying times. I can't actually remember anything he
has told me, but here are my attempts at remembering:
1) Senna 2) Schumacher
3) Alesi 4) Can't remember - possibly Hill, probably not.
5) Hill? Frentzen? Someone else? 6) See 5)...
7) Errm... 8) Dunno.
9) Ahhh...
As you can see, I don't remember anything. I do know that Johnny Herbert is in
21st place, though. I asked Spike who hadn't qualified. He said: One of the
Pacifics, and someone else.
So, at 9:10pm tomorrow, I'll be watching the highlights of the Brazillian Grand
Prix...
AND...
Good news! Ben Price says that one of his friends can record the race from
satellite TV, so we will see the whole thing after all! But... Do they have the
same commentator? Does Murray Walker do all of the F1 for this country, or does
Eurosport have someone different? Who knows?
Anyway, I'll be off to Spike's house on Monday, to see F1 on his A1200. I might
even go and see Gopher (tall Atari fanatic who fancies anything in a skirt),
and his Falcon030 (not that he's actually got any software for it).
Well, that's it for this article. The next one you want to take a look at is
the Brazillian Grand Prix article. Bye for now.
-End of Sockument-
@e