No Fragments Archive 10: Diskmags/nf_archive_10.iso/MAGS/KELSTAR/KELSTR01.MSA/TEXT/RONUFO.TXT

Text File | 2008-03-13 | 5KB | 121 lines

             UFO`s,Do They Exist.No They Bloody Well Don`t
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                Big Ron explains away the Flying Saucer



I got a look at a video  tape  of  a  TV  show from a friend the other
night.It was Paul Mackenna the hypnotist  geezer with a show about the
age old topic of UFO`s.
I cannot believe that people are  still taken in with this nonsensical
subject.How many more times have the same films and photographs got to
be churned out along with  the  same dopey explanations.All anyone has
to do is to take a look in their  local video store at a whole host of
modern horror and  sci-fi  films  to  see  the  extent  of the special
effects that can be created on  camera.A  few  years ago a crowd of us
went over to a local park to  mess  about with a football and frisbees
etc.Totally by chance one of the girls  took a photo just as a frisbee
scooted over her head  and  the  resultant  photo  was as convincing a
picture of a space ship as any of the published ones that I`ve seen.
When you look at the supposed  evidence  that is rolled out to support
the existance of UFO`s,none of it  stands up.If there are the reported
thousands of sightings every  year  worldwide,where  the hell are they
all? Do they nip off home light years away after every appearance?
Surely if any kind of ship was able to travel here from another planet
it would at least have to  be  a  decent size,the vast majority of the
reported sightings are of ships that  are  about the size of a Granada
estate.What do they do for  food?  It  is maybe sheer coincidence that
they maybe eat exactly the same as us even though they are aliens? ,oh
yeah.
How come they can wing  about  at  ludicrously high speeds without any
room for any type of propulsion  units  on their little dinky ships.If
they have been here for all  those  years,what  do they want? why have
they not just introduced themselves? "Hello,I`m an alien,any chance of
a cup of sugar mate?" And,if they meant us no harm,they`d tell us they
were here,if they meant to hurt us they`d blow the shite out of us and
take over.
Some would have you believe that  they  have been visiting this planet
since George Burns was a lad.The  "proof" of this was little squiggles
on cave paintings.I`ve also  read  that  they  are  supposed to be the
brains   behind   the   pyramids    and    other   bits   of   ancient
architecture.Why,considering the amount  of  slaves  that were kicking
about doing nothing else,the  Egyptians  could  have  easily chucked a
rope round a couple of  thousand  of  them  and they could have hauled
their boulders around for them no bother.
As for the  constantly  wheeled  out  cases  who  claim  to  have been
abducted by aliens,oh dear,oh dear.If  they  have been abducted at all
I`d suggest that it would have been  by  the men in the white coats.If
the alien`s opinions of  us  has  been  established by examining these
nut-house rejects,then I guess it`s  no  surprise that they don`t want
to talk to us.Why do  they  always  send  them  back too? "Right Earth
person,we want to know  all  about  human  technology,that`s why we`ve
hijacked an alcoholic,Mexican  lunatic,and,as  we  want  this  to be a
total secret,we`re going to send you  back  to your buddies when we`ve
finished so that you can go on a  TV show and tell everybody about our
skinny wee bods,big heads and  funny  eyeballs  and  then write a book
about it and makes loads of money".Yes I find that perfectly feasable.
But,the best bit is always  saved  until  last.Did you know that there
was a genuine flying saucer  that  crashed  in  the desert in 1947 and
that the occupants were nabbed by  the  CIA  or FBI and they held them
and photo`d them and sold the negatives to the Sunday Sport.This story
has what I would describe as "  The Snowball Effect ".This is the very
same effect that happens when you fart at  one end of your town but by
the time the story reaches the other end you`ve shat your trousers.
The people from this region  are  not  daft,when  a TV crew or someone
researching a book appears at their  door  and says," Excuse me,do you
know anything about a flying saucer  that  crashed in your back garden
in 1947?"  No I don`t   "Pity,cause  my  editor  says I could give you
$5,000 if you  did",  "1947?,oh,THAT  flying  saucer,now I remember,oh
yes,just missed my bloody head".¯¯¯¯
One thing that can never be counted  on  is the evidence of people who
want to be on telly,especially people who are paid for it.
With the freedom of information act in America,official documents have
to be released to the public after  20  or 30 years or whatever, so if
there was any proof then we`d have  it  by now.The whole thing is done
to provide profit for the  various  people  who churn out the books,tv
programmes,films and such like.There is no  such thing as UFO`s but of
course what there is,is millions of gullible people who are willing to
believe any rubbish that comes  their way,and more importantly,willing
to pay for the  privilage.So,if  you`re  one  of  those  who is a true
believer,get a life guy,go  and  find  a  more  interesting hobby like
maybe sumo wrestlers gusset  collecting,and  keep  your hard earned in
your pocket.

Ron Brown