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Text File  |  1985-11-20  |  7KB  |  186 lines
  1.  
  2. ***************************************************************************
  3. ***************************************************************************
  4. **************************  S L I M   F A S T  ****************************
  5. ***************************************************************************
  6. *****************  B Y   N A U G H T Y   B U T   N I C E  *****************
  7. ***************************************************************************
  8. ***************************************************************************
  9.  
  10.  
  11. We've all heard of SLIM FAST...The drink that is SUPPOSED to make you, 
  12. 'Lose those pounds!' but do we really believe it?  I myself am not fat, but 
  13. that's no thanks to Slim Fast.  This brief article is a look at how stupid 
  14. those adverts on T.V. are...
  15.  
  16.  
  17.                                  *******
  18. I USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS...      * o o *
  19.                                  * \/  *  
  20.                                  *  O  *
  21.                                  *******
  22.                          ************************
  23.                     **********************************
  24.                     **********************************
  25.                         ****** I AM A TANK! *******
  26.                         ***************************
  27.                         ***************************
  28.                          *************************
  29.                          *******          *******
  30.                          *******          *******
  31.                          *******          *******
  32.  
  33.  
  34.                                    
  35. BUT AFTER JUST A WEEK ON SLIMFAST,   O
  36. I LOOK LIKE THIS...                  *
  37.                                      *
  38.                                    *****   ...AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT,      
  39.                                      *     YOU'RE AN IDIOT TO SAY THE LEAST!
  40.                                      *     
  41.                                      *
  42.                                     * *
  43.                                    *   *
  44.  
  45. Do they take us for complete and utter brainless twerps?  The advert should 
  46. be more like this if it were to be honest...
  47.  
  48.  
  49.                                  *******
  50. I USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS...      * o o *
  51.                                  * \/  *  
  52.                                  *  O  *
  53.                                  *******
  54.                          ************************
  55.                     **********************************
  56.                     **********************************
  57.                         ******** 100% BEEF ********
  58.                         ***************************
  59.                         ***************************
  60.                          *************************
  61.                          *******          *******
  62.                          *******          *******
  63.                          *******          *******
  64.  
  65.                                    
  66. AND I STILL DO, BUT HERE'S A         O
  67. PICTURE OF SOMEONE ELSE FOR          *
  68. YOU TO LOOK AT...                    *
  69.                                    *****         
  70.                                      *     
  71.                                      *     
  72.                                      *
  73.                                     * *
  74.                                    *   *
  75.             
  76.  
  77. Or maybe it really IS the same person but the advert should have gone like 
  78. this...
  79.  
  80.  
  81.                                  *******
  82. I USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS...      * o o *
  83.                                  * \/  *  
  84.                                  *  O  *
  85.                                  *******
  86.                          ************************
  87.                     **********************************
  88.                     **********************************
  89.                         ***** I AM PAVAROTI *******
  90.                         ***************************
  91.                         ***************************
  92.                          *************************
  93.                          *******          *******
  94.                          *******          *******
  95.                          *******          *******
  96.  
  97.  
  98.                                   
  99. BUT AFTER SIX YEARS WITHOUT          O
  100. ANY FOOD, I LOOK LIKE THIS...        *
  101.                                      *
  102.                                    *****         
  103.                                      *     
  104.                                      *     
  105.                                      *
  106.                                     * *
  107.                                    *   *
  108.  
  109.  
  110.  
  111. Then again, maybe this is nearer to the truth...
  112.  
  113.  
  114.  
  115.                                  *******
  116. I USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS...      * o o *
  117.                                  * \/  *  
  118.                                  *  O  *
  119.                                  *******
  120.                          ************************
  121.                     **********************************
  122.                     **********************************
  123.                         ******  I AM A FAT   ******
  124.                         ****** JORDIE CALLED ******
  125.                         ********** GAZZA *********
  126.                          *************************
  127.                          *******          *******
  128.                          *******          *******
  129.                          *******          *******
  130.  
  131.  
  132.                                   
  133. BUT AFTER A WEEK ON THE SLIMFAST     O
  134. PLAN, I HAD THROWN UP SO MUCH,       *
  135. THAT I NOW LOOK LIKE THIS...         *
  136.                                    *****         
  137.                                      *     
  138.                                      *     
  139.                                      *
  140.                                     * *
  141.                                    *   *
  142.  
  143.  
  144. Anyway, who could live on milk shakes?  Not me, even if IS a, 'delicious 
  145. creamy shake in three different flavours'!
  146.  
  147. Maybe it's more like this...
  148.  
  149.  
  150.  
  151.                                  *******
  152. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE WITH    * o o *
  153. A LOAD OF CUSHIONS SHOVED        * \/  *  
  154. IN MY CLOTHES...                 *  O  *
  155.                                  *******
  156.                          ************************
  157.                     **********************************
  158.                     **********************************
  159.                         ****  OFFICIAL FAT GIT ****
  160.                         ***************************
  161.                         ***************************
  162.                          *************************
  163.                          *******          *******
  164.                          *******          *******
  165.                          *******          *******
  166.  
  167.                                   
  168. BUT AFTER BEING PAYED TO TAKE THE    O
  169. CUSHIONS OUT BY MR. SLIMFAST, I      *
  170. LOOK LIKE THIS.           ..         *
  171.                                    *****         
  172.                                      *     
  173.                                      *     
  174.                                      *
  175.                                     * *
  176.                                    *   *
  177.  
  178.  
  179.  
  180. I bet that Mr. Slimfast is fatter than anyone else!  Anyway, if you have 
  181. tried Slimfast and it actually worked, write to James with your story 'coz 
  182. I'd love to hear about anyone who it actually worked for.  Maybe SLIMFAST 
  183. works because it is so disgusting that it puts you off food for life!
  184.  
  185.  
  186.