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$Unique_ID{PAR00003}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{The Parent-Physician Partnership}
$Subtitle{}
$Author{
Editors of Consumer Guide
Chasnoff, Ira J}
$Subject{Parent Physician relationship Physicians Doctor Doctors
pediatrician pediatricians}
$Log{}
Your Child: A Medical Guide
The Parent-Physician Partnership
Raising a child is a big responsibility, and it's always comforting to
know that there's someone you can turn to when you have a problem. For advice
on many of your concerns about your child, you can call on your own parents,
your family and friends, other parents, or your child's teachers. But when it
comes to your child's health, the person you need is a physician.
CHOOSING A DOCTOR
To get the best from your child's doctor, you must first select the best
doctor for your child. A pediatrician is a doctor who sees only children.
The pediatrician has had an extra three to five years of special training in
the physical, emotional, and educational needs of young people. Your family
physician probably has comparable training in terms of years of study, but
this study has concerned people of all ages rather than just children. The
best pediatrician you can find should, in theory, know more about the care of
children than the best family doctor you can find.
The most important thing, however, is that you should be able to get
along with the doctor who is caring for your child. If you feel more
comfortable with your family physician than with any pediatrician in your
area, you may decide to have the family physician take care of your child,
too. You know what's best for your child, so trust your own decision.
Your child's doctor, who is a trained and experienced professional,
should be a reliable and sympathetic source of information and advice
throughout your child's growing years. Always remember, though, that the
doctor is a medical adviser, not another parent. There are decisions about
your child's well-being that only you can make, and a good doctor does not try
either to make child-rearing decisions for you or to make you feel that you're
not a competent parent. A good parent-doctor relationship is one in which
each partner respects the other.
How do you find a good doctor? If you are a first-time parent, the
doctor who delivered your baby may be able to give you names of local
physicians and perhaps recommend someone who is well thought of by other new
parents. You may have a friend or neighbor with children who can recommend
someone. If you've moved to a new area, consult a neighbor who has children,
or call a local hospital or the state medical society. Professional
organizations will not give you recommendations as such; they will give you
names and expect you to make your own inquiries. However, a phone call and a
visit to a doctor's office should be enough to tell you whether that doctor is
right for you and your child. It is also a good idea to visit the doctor even
before your baby is born to become acquainted and to arrange for your baby's
medical care.
WORKING TOGETHER
Once you have found a doctor whose medical ability you trust, there are
practical steps you can take to maintain a good working relationship between
the two of you.
For example, don't feel slighted if you don't always speak directly with
the doctor when you call the office because your child is sick. In many
pediatricians' offices, a professional nurse practitioner acts as the
go-between in communications with the doctor. You can have the same
confidence in the nurse that you have in the doctor. The nurse is a qualified
medical professional in his or her own right and is well able to handle many
of your questions. This means you don't have to wait for the doctor to get
through with a patient before he or she can talk to you. Of course, if your
child's condition does require the doctor's attention, the nurse will arrange
to have the doctor talk to you on the phone or help you set up an appointment
to see the doctor.
Whether you talk directly to the doctor or to the nurse when you call the
office, be prepared to give the following information:
- Your name and the child's name.
- Your child's approximate weight. This is important because medications
are prescribed by body weight, and the dosage that is appropriate for a
125-pound teenager is very different from that given to a 25-pound
toddler.
- Your child's temperature. Whether the child is running a fever--and if
so, how high a fever--is a clue to the child's condition. Use a
thermometer to take the child's temperature. A guess based on flushed
cheeks or a hot forehead isn't good enough.
- Information on any illnesses the child has been exposed to recently.
- Details of medications to which your child is allergic.
- The name, phone number, and business hours of your pharmacist, so that
the doctor can phone in a prescription if necessary. (Although the nurse
can handle many of your questions and perform some examinations and
medical procedures, only a doctor can prescribe medication.)
Be sure to have a pencil and paper at hand so that you can write down any
information or instructions the doctor or nurse gives you.
When you call the doctor's office, you probably know whether you just
want some advice on the telephone or whether you want to bring the child in to
see the doctor. Tell the doctor or nurse what you have in mind--don't expect
her to guess. If the doctor or nurse thinks that it's not necessary for you
to bring the child in, you'll be told the reason for that advice. However,
the decision is yours, and if you still want a personal consultation, you're
entitled to insist.
Another way to stay on good terms with your child's doctor is to plan
ahead so that both you and the doctor know what an office visit is intended to
achieve. A common cause of communication breakdown between parent and
physician is the parent's complaint that the doctor was too busy, didn't
answer questions, or cut the visit short. To avoid this, always tell the
receptionist what the visit is for at the time you make the appointment. If
you feel you're going to need extra time with the doctor, let the receptionist
know so that enough time can be scheduled--in this way, neither you nor the
doctor will feel rushed.
When you see the doctor, do not confuse the issue by trying to get a
complete update on other family members' problems in the course of one
appointment. Let the doctor examine your child and deal with the reason you
brought the child into the office. If you have other concerns not directly
related to the present one, make an appointment to come back another time.
ASKING QUESTIONS
One of the things you will probably have checked out when you chose your
doctor was his or her ability to use language you understand. Doctors, like
specialists in any field, are so familiar with their professional language
that they sometimes forget how confusing it is to other people. So if your
child's doctor slips into medical jargon that you don't understand, ask for a
translation. Don't feel uncomfortable about asking, either. You must know
what the doctor's instructions are before you can carry them out, and it's
part of the doctor's responsibility to make sure that you are fully informed
about all matters that concern your child's health.
Sometimes you may find that you understand what the doctor is saying--but
you don't agree with it. In this case, don't hesitate to ask why the doctor
has reached a certain decision, or what the alternatives are. If you still
don't feel comfortable with the doctor's advice, don't argue. You may get the
doctor to agree with your point of view, but this may not be in the child's
best interests. If you and the doctor disagree on a diagnosis or a course of
treatment, ask for a second opinion. This means going to another doctor and
asking his or her professional advice on the issue. Your doctor may welcome
this suggestion--or even make the suggestion before you do. A doctor may be
hesitant to assume full responsibility for diagnosing and treating a difficult
or unusual case. In such a situation, it is common to have two or more
consultants working together to determine the best course of treatment.
When you ask for a second opinion, your doctor should be able to suggest
names of possible consultants. If you trust the doctor, you'll trust his or
her choice of other professionals. If you don't, you'll be looking for
another doctor anyway.
It sometimes happens that when communication between parent and physician
does break down, the only responsible course the parent can take is to find
another doctor.
HOUSE CALLS
Many people who are now parents remember the days when doctors made house
calls, and they wonder why doctors today don't make house calls. Your
physician will probably tell you that many wrong diagnoses resulted from the
old practice of examining sick children in their homes without adequate
equipment. In the office, the doctor has a professionally set-up medical
facility with the equipment necessary for an accurate diagnosis. So whether
or not a doctor makes house calls--and most don't--should not affect your
opinion of his or her competence. If you trust your doctor, and if you're
confident that he or she will always be available in an emergency, you've made
a good choice.
COMMUNICATION
A final word on the parent-physician partnership--and, again, it's partly
a matter of courtesy. If your physician is taking good care of your child,
express your appreciation--doctors like to be thanked, just like anyone else.
However, if you're not satisfied with the health care your child is receiving,
the doctor should know that, too. A physician's failure to please you may be
due to many factors other than professional inadequacy. If you let the doctor
know that there is a problem, he or she may be able to correct it. If not,
your best plan may be to find another doctor.
Remember that although the doctor is your partner in caring for your
child's health, you're still responsible for deciding just who this partner
will be.