Game Zone - 1,000+ Games/GAMEZONE.BIN/Programs/Win/COOKIE/COOKIE.DAT

Text File | 1990-04-16 | 20KB | 252 lines

#Computing Definition%Access Time - The time between the instant at which information is called for, and the instant at which management expects the final report.
#Computing Definition%Assembler - One who drops his card deck.
#Computing Definition%Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.
#Computing Definition%Breakpoint - The point at which programmer increments past last bit available.
#Computing Definition%Chaining - A method of attaching programmers to desk, to speed up output.
#Computing Definition%Checkpoint - The location from which a programmer draws his salary.
#Computing Definition%Core storage - A receptacle for the center section of apples.
#Computing Definition%Counter - An area over which martini's are served.
#Computing Definition%Crash - What a detached programmer would dearly love to do, for at least eight hours.
#Computing Definition%Default - De line west of which de state of california will float off to sea at de next major quake.
#Computing Definition%Device - Medieval torture instrument such as thumbscrew, iron maiden.
#Computing Definition%Documentation - A manual which tells you how to use a program, system, or utility one version ago, and which is now unsupported.
#Computing Definition%Error - What someone else has made when they disagree with your computer output.
#Computing Definition%External Storage - Wastebasket.
#Computing Definition%Fixed Word Length - Four letter word used by programmers in a state of confusion.
#Computing Definition%Hardware - Nuts, bolts, and circuit boards "left over" after repairman has reassembled cpu.
#Computing Definition%I/O Device - Note you sign for the bank in/order to get loan for new (old) car.
#Computing Definition%Library - An organized collection of obsolete material.
#Computing Definition%Low Order Position - The programmer's location in the chain of command.
#Computing Definition%Mainframe - Primary person who just got set up for the blame of the system crash.
#Computing Definition%Microsecond - Amount of time needed for a program to bomb.
#Computing Definition%Nanosecond - Measure of time on mork's planet ork.
#Computing Definition%Off-Line - Uncharitable remarks programmer makes to wife or husband upon being phoned at 9pm to come in because system just crashed.
#Computing Definition%On-Line - Programmer trying to deal rationally on phone with management at 9pm.
#Computing Definition%Peripheral - Now you see it, now you don't...
#Computing Definition%Printout - A document to verify data you know is wrong anyway.
#Computing Definition%Programmer - Red eyed mumbling mammal, capable of communicating with inanimate objects.
#Computing Definition%Source file - One which was "appropriated" from one of the competitors.
#Computing Definition%Switch - When management changes its mind.
#Graffiti%... it is predictable, but I wouldn't like to predict it myself. - C. Lawson
#Graffiti%100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
#Graffiti%1948 - A novel for dyslexics by George Orwell.
#Graffiti%A bank manager is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and who asks for it back when it start to rain.
#Graffiti%A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
#Graffiti%A friend in need is a pain in the ass.
#Graffiti%A man is as old as he feels. But never as important.
#Graffiti%A man is as old as the woman he feels.
#Graffiti%A phone call costs less than you think. Soon it'll cost more than you believe.
#Graffiti%A sense of humour is the difference between ambition and achievement.
#Graffiti%A seven day honeymoon makes one weak.
#Graffiti%Absolute zero is cool.
#Graffiti%Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
#Graffiti%All that glitters is not gold. - All that doesn't glitter isn't either.
#Graffiti%Always be sincere - Even when you don't mean it.
#Graffiti%Always put the important before the merely urgent.
#Graffiti%Always tell her she's pretty, especially when she isn't.
#Graffiti%Always yield to temptation - it may never pass your way again.
#Graffiti%Amnesia rules - O
#Graffiti%An Australian lover is like a wombat :- he eats roots, shoots, and leaves.
#Graffiti%An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.
#Graffiti%An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
#Graffiti%An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
#Graffiti%Anarchists of the world unite !
#Graffiti%Anarchy, No rules - OK?
#Graffiti%Anyone who can see through a woman is missing a lot.
#Graffiti%Anyone who goes to see a psychiatrist, ought to have his head examined.
#Graffiti%Are you a schizo? - If so, that makes four of us.
#Graffiti%Arsonists of the world, ignite!
#Graffiti%Asking the boss for a rise may not be patriotic, but it will help the government with the extra tax if it comes off.
#Graffiti%Assassination is an extreme form of censorship.
#Graffiti%Australian foreplay - "Brace yerself Sheila."
#Graffiti%Avoid life - It'll kill you in the end.
#Graffiti%Be alert - your country needs lerts.
#Graffiti%Be apathetic today. - I think I'll leave it till tomorrow.
#Graffiti%Be creative, invent a perversion.
#Graffiti%Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - (and miss).
#Graffiti%Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
#Graffiti%Charity covers a multitude of sins, but curiosity soon uncovers them again.
#Graffiti%Conscience is the little thing that tells you someone is sure to find out.
#Graffiti%Constipation is the thief of time.
#Graffiti%Dead people are cool.
#Graffiti%Death is hereditary.
#Graffiti%Definition of a prostitute - receiver of swollen goods.
#Graffiti%Do to the other fellow as he would do unto you. But for God's sake do it first!
#Graffiti%Don't Panic.
#Graffiti%Don't Panic. Count to ten ... then Panic!
#Graffiti%Don't Panic. The Earth is just being demolished for a hyperspace bypass.
#Graffiti%Don't drink water, fish breed in it.
#Graffiti%Dyslexia rules KO.
#Graffiti%Dyslexics of the world untie !
#Graffiti%Einstein rules relatively OK - in theory anyway.
#Graffiti%Every man reaps what he sows, except the amateur gardener.
#Graffiti%Experience, the name given by men to their mistakes.
#Graffiti%Get stoned - Drink liquid cement.
#Graffiti%God is not dead - he just couldn't find a parking place.
#Graffiti%Happiness can't buy money.
#Graffiti%Have you read the Penguin Book of Quotations. (I never realised penguins had that much to say.)
#Graffiti%Help preserve wildlife. Pickle a Squirrel today!
#Graffiti%Heredity is the thing a child gets from the other side of the family.
#Graffiti%How do the Japanese do it? Because we let them.
#Graffiti%I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying.
#Graffiti%I have a drink problem, I can't afford it.
#Graffiti%I looked up my wife's family tree. Most of her relatives are still climbing around in it.
#Graffiti%I used to be a schizophrenic, but now I'm lonely.
#Graffiti%I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
#Graffiti%I'm immortal - so far.
#Graffiti%If God had not meant us to write on walls, he would never have given us an example.
#Graffiti%If a woman wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
#Graffiti%Ironic isn't it, that God gave the tortoise a drag factor of 0.03.
#Graffiti%Is there an imaginary cure for hypochondria?
#Graffiti%It is now beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics.
#Graffiti%Jesus Saves - and Dalglish gets the rebound!
#Graffiti%Jesus Saves - not on my salary he doesn't.
#Graffiti%Jesus Saves - with the Woolwich.
#Graffiti%Jesus Saves, Moses invests, but only Buddha pays dividends.
#Graffiti%Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people and shoot them.
#Graffiti%Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
#Graffiti%Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today.
#Graffiti%Keep Britain tidy, shoot a tourist.
#Graffiti%Laugh, and the world laughs with you. - Snore and you sleep alone.
#Graffiti%Laugh, and the world thinks you are an idiot.
#Graffiti%Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
#Graffiti%Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
#Graffiti%Lord give me patience......But Hurry!
#Graffiti%Love Thy Neighbour - But don't get caught.
#Graffiti%Love is blind. And when you get married you get your eyesight back.
#Graffiti%Make love, not war; get married and do both!
#Graffiti%Marijuana is nature's way of saying "high".
#Graffiti%Money can't buy friends but it can buy a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan.
#Graffiti%Money isn't everything. - It isn't even enough!
#Graffiti%My wife wears rubber gear and whips me. Ohhhhh Kay!
#Graffiti%Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics live in them, and Psychiatrists charge them rent.
#Graffiti%Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
#Graffiti%No one feels as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
#Graffiti%People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Neither should they nail up pictures.
#Graffiti%Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination
#Graffiti%Real Ale - reaches the parts Heineken daren't mention.
#Graffiti%Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.
#Graffiti%Reality is for people who cannot cope with science fiction.
#Graffiti%Reincarnation is making a comeback!
#Graffiti%Sado-masochism means not having to say you're sorry.
#Graffiti%Save trees, eat more beavers.
#Graffiti%Say it with flowers - give her a triffid.
#Graffiti%Smile - things may get worse more slowly.
#Graffiti%Smoking - think of it as evolution in action.
#Graffiti%Study art and logic - learn to draw your own conclusions.
#Graffiti%Sudden prayers make God jump.
#Graffiti%Support British steel - smelt the Iron Lady.
#Graffiti%The Annuual Conference of Clairvoyants has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
#Graffiti%The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable.
#Graffiti%The first three minutes of your life can be dangerous ... The last three can be pretty dodgy too!
#Graffiti%The meek shall inherit the earth - in 6' x 2' plots.
#Graffiti%The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
#Graffiti%The reason that people here get lost in thought is because it's such unfamiliar territory.
#Graffiti%The road to success is usually under construction.
#Graffiti%The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.
#Graffiti%We are the people our parents warned us about.
#Graffiti%Welsh men only marry Welsh women because sheep can't cook.
#Graffiti%When God shook the tree of life, all the nuts landed in California.
#Graffiti%When faced with two evils I like to do the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
#Rules of the game%1) You can't win. %2) You can't break even. %3) You can't even quit the game.
#Rules of the game%A faithful car will continue to be faithful until the day you fit it with four brand new tyres, then it will fall apart.
#Rules of the game%An authority is somebody who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
#Rules of the game%Any given program will expand to fill all available resources.
#Rules of the game%Any given program, once running, is obsolete.
#Rules of the game%Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
#Rules of the game%Army Axiom: An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
#Rules of the game%Army Law:%If it moves, salute it;%If it doesn't move, pick it up;%If you can't pick it up, paint it.
#Rules of the game%Basic research is what I am doing when - I don't know what I am doing.
#Rules of the game%Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
#Rules of the game%Don't force it, get a large hammer.
#Rules of the game%Experiments should be reproducable, - they should all fail in the same way.
#Rules of the game%Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
#Rules of the game%Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is messed up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
#Rules of the game%First Law of Advice: The correct advice is to give the advice that is desired.
#Rules of the game%Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
#Rules of the game%I have yet to see any problem, which, when you looked at it the right way, did not become still more complicated.
#Rules of the game%If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
#Rules of the game%If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
#Rules of the game%If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
#Rules of the game%If at first you don't succeed, give up.
#Rules of the game%If at first you don't succeed, blame the teacher.
#Rules of the game%If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
#Rules of the game%If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up.
#Rules of the game%If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
#Rules of the game%If little else, the brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins
#Rules of the game%If you do something which you are sure will meet with everyone's approval, somebody won't like it.
#Rules of the game%If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, somebody will.
#Rules of the game%If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant. - Snoopy.
#Rules of the game%If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
#Rules of the game%In any household, junk accumulates to fill the storage space available.
#Rules of the game%In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
#Rules of the game%Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
#Rules of the game%Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
#Rules of the game%It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick something from the floor when you get up.
#Rules of the game%It is better for civilisation to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
#Rules of the game%It works better when you turn the brightness up.
#Rules of the game%Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do it.
#Rules of the game%Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
#Rules of the game%Murphy's Third Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.
#Rules of the game%Negative slack tends to increase.
#Rules of the game%Never go to a doctor who's office plants have died.
#Rules of the game%Next to surviving an earthquake, nothing is quite so satisfying as as receiving a income tax refund
#Rules of the game%Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
#Rules of the game%Old age is always 15 years older than I am.
#Rules of the game%On a beautiful day like this, it is hard to believe that anyone can be unhappy - but we're working on it.
#Rules of the game%Parkinson's First Law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
#Rules of the game%Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditures rise to meet income.
#Rules of the game%Patience is something that you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.
#Rules of the game%Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
#Rules of the game%Pros are people who do jobs well even when they don't feel like it
#Rules of the game%Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the restraining speed.
#Rules of the game%The Law of Selective Gravity (The Buttered Side Down Law): An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
#Rules of the game%The chief cause of problems is solutions.
#Rules of the game%The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where highest overtime rates lie waiting.
#Rules of the game%The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.
#Rules of the game%The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its desirability.
#Rules of the game%The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.
#Rules of the game%There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
#Rules of the game%Two wrongs do not make a right; it usually takes three or more.
#Rules of the game%Under the most rigorously controlled conditions, the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases.
#Rules of the game%Variables won't; constants aren't.
#Rules of the game%When all else fails, read the manual.
#Rules of the game%When things are going well, somebody will experiment detrimentally.
#Rules of the game%When you try to make an impression, the chances are that that is the impression you will make.
#Rules of the game%When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
#Rules of the game%Why can't lifes's big problems come when we are twenty and know everything ?
#Rules of the game%You always find something in the last place you look.
#Rules of the game%You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
#Rules of the game%You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
#Another ingredient for a happy marriage:%Budget the luxuries first !
#Another ingredient for a happy marriage:%In a family argument, if it turns out you are right - apologise at once!
#To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.
#Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honour, make him pay cash.
#Waking a person unnecessary should not be considered a capital crime. For a first offence, that is.
#A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being "frank."
#Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful - just stupid.)
#Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
#A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
#Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.
#We, my Lords, may thank Heaven that we have something better than out brains to depend on. (Lord Chesterfield to the House of Lords)
#In the beginning was the word - and the word was four bytes. (from the bible?)
#Wars are not fought to decide who is right - only who is left.
#To err is human - To really foul things up requires computers.
#When I am right nobody remembers... When I am wrong nobody forgets!
#If you can't tie good knots... tie many.
#A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
#What you can not avoid, Welcome.
#Yesterday's a memory%Tomorrow's a vision%Today's a bitch
#It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. - Samual Clemmens
#Money wouldn't be so important if everybody didn't want some.
#TO DO IS TO BE - Socrates%TO BE IS TO DO - Sartre%DO BE DO BE DO - Sinatra
#Walk softly but carry a big stick.
#A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain.
#When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
#Live fast, Die young, Leave a good looking corpse.