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1995-03-06
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455 lines
CONTENTS
ONE
Whither Canada?:
'It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart'; Famous deaths; Italian lesson;
Whizzo butter; 'It's the Arts'; Arthur 'Two-Sheds' Jackson;
Picasso/cycling race; The funniest joke in the world.
TWO
Sex and violence:
Flying sheep; French lecture on sheep-aircraft; A man with
three buttocks; A man with two noses; Musical mice; Marriage
guidance counsellor; The wacky queen; Working-class
playwright; A Scotsman on a horse; The wrestling epilogue;
The mouse problem.
THREE
How to recognize different types of tree from quite a long way
away:
Court scene (witness in coffin/Cardinal Richelieu); The larch;
Bicycle repair man; Children's stories; Restaurant sketch;
Seduced milkmen; Stolen newsreader; Children's interview;
Nudge nudge.
FOUR
Owl-stretching time:
Song ('And did those feet'); Art gallery; Art critic; It's a
man's life in the modern army; Undressing in public;
Self-defence; Secret Service dentists.
FIVE
Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth
century:
Confuse-a-Cat; The smuggler; A duck, a cat and a lizard
(discussion); Vox pops on smuggling; Police raid; Letters
and vox pops; Newsreader arrested; Erotic film; Silly job
interview; Careers advisory board; Burglar/encyclopedia
salesman.
SIX
'It's the Arts'; Johann Gombolputty... von Hautkopf of Ulm;
Non-illegal robbery; Vox pops; Crunchy frog; The dull life of
a City stockbroker; Red Indian in theatre; Policemen make
wonderful friends; A Scotsman on a horse; Twentieth-century
vole.
SEVEN
You're no fun any more:
Camel spotting; You're no fun any more; The audit; Science
fiction sketch; Man turns into Scotsman; Police station;
Blancmanges playing tennis.
EIGHT
Full frontal nudity:
Army protection racket; Vox pops; Art critic - the place of
the nude; Buying a bed; Hermits; Dead parrot; The flasher;
Hell's Grannies.
NINE
The ant, an introduction:
Llamas; A man with a tape recorder up his nose; Kilimanjaro
expedition (double vision); A man with a tape recorder up his
brother's nose; Homicidal barber; Lumberjack song; Gumby
crooner; The refreshment room at Bletchley; Hunting film; The
visitors.
TEN
Walk-on part in sketch; Bank robber (lingerie shop); Trailer;
Arthur Tree; Vocational Guidance Counsellor (chartered
accountant); The first man to jump the Channel; Tunnelling
from Godalming to Java; Pet conversions; Gorilla librarian;
Letters to 'Daily Mirror'; Strangers in the night.
ELEVEN
Letter (lavatorial humour); Interruptions; Agatha Christie
sketch; Literary football discussion; Undertakers film;
Interesting people; Eighteenth-century social legislation; The
Battle of Trafalgar; Batley Townswomens' Guild presents the
Battle of Pearl Harbor; Undertakers film.
TWELVE
Falling from building; 'Spectrum' - talking about things;
Visitors from Coventry; Mr. Hilter; The Minehead by-election;
Police station (silly voices); Upperclass Twit of the Year;
Ken Shabby; How far can a minister fall?
THIRTEEN
Intermissions; Restaurant (abuse/cannibalism); Advertisements;
Albatross; Come back to my place; Me Doctor; Historical
impersonations; Quiz programme - 'Wishes'; 'Probe-around' on
crime; Stonehenge; Mr Attila the Hun; Psychiatry - silly
sketch; Operating theatre (squatters).
FOURTEEN
'Face the Press'; New cooker sketch; Tobacconists (prostitute
advert); The Ministry of Silly Walks; The Piranha brothers.
FIFTEEN
Man-powered flight; The Spanish Inquisition; Jokes and
novelties salesman; Tax on thingy; Vox pops; Photos of Uncle
Ted (Spanish Inquisition); The semaphore version of 'Wuthering
Heights'; 'Julius Caesar' on an Aldis lamp; Court scene
(charades).
SIXTEEN
A bishop rehearsing; Flying lessons; Hijacked plane (to
Luton); The Poet McTeagle; Psychiatrist milkman; Complaints;
Deja vu.
SEVENTEEN
Architect sketch; How to give up being a Mason; Motor
insurance sketch; 'The Bishop'; Living room on pavement;
Poets; A choice of viewing; Chemist sketch; Words not to
be used again; After-shave; Vox pops; Police Constable Pan-Am.
EIGHTEEN
Live from the Grill-o-Mat snack bar, Paignton; 'Blackmail';
Society for Putting Things on top of Other Things; Escape
(from film); Current affairs; Accidents sketch; Seven Brides
for Seven Brothers; The man who is alternately rude and
polite; Documentary on boxer.
NINETEEN
'It's a Living'; The time on BBC 1; School prize-giving;
'if' - a film by Mr Dibley; 'Rear Window' - a film by
Mr Dibley; 'Finian's Rainbow' (starring the man from the
off-licence); Foreign Secretary; Dung; Dead Indian; Timmy
Williams interview; Raymond Luxury Yacht interview; Registry
office; Election Night Special (Silly and Sensible Parties).
TWENTY
'The Attila the Hun Show'; Attila the Nun; Secretary of State
striptease; Vox pops on politicians; Ratcatcher; Wainscotting;
Killer sheep; The news for parrots; The news for gibbons;
Today in Parliament; The news for wombats; Attila the Bun; The
Idiot in Society; Test match; The Epsom furniture race; 'Take
Your Pick'.
TWENTY-ONE
Trailer; 'Archeology Today'; Silly vicar; Leapy Lee; Registrar
(wife swap); Silly doctor sketch (immediately abandoned);
Mr and Mrs Git; Mosquito hunters; Poofy judges; Mrs Thing and
Mrs Entity; Beethoven's mynah bird; Shakespeare;
Michaelangelo; Colin Mozart (ratcatcher); Judges.
TWENTY-TWO
'How to recognize different parts of the body'; Bruces;
Naughty bits; The man who contradicts people; Cosmetic
surgery; Camp square-bashing; Cut-price airline; Batley
Townswomen's Guild presents the first heart transplant; The
first underwater production of 'Measure for Measure'; The
death of Mary Queen of Scots; Exploding penguin on the TV set;
There's been a murder; Europolice Song Contest; 'Bing Tiddle
Tiddle Bong' (song).
TWENTY-THREE
French subtitled film; Scott of the Antarctic; Scott of the
Sahara; Fish licence; Derby Council v. All Blacks rugby match;
Long John Silver Impersonators v. Bournemouth Gynaecologists.
TWENTY-FOUR
Conquistador coffee campaign; Repeating groove; Ramsey
MacDonald striptease; Job hunter; Agatha Christie sketch
(railway timetables); Mr Neville Shunte; Film director
(teeth); City gents vox pops; 'Crackpot Religions Ltd'; 'How
not to be seen'; Crossing the Atlantic on a tricycle;
Interview in filing cabinet; 'Yummy yummy'; Monty Python's
Flying Circus again in thirty seconds.
TWENTY-FIVE
'The Black Eagle'; Dirty Hungarian phrasebook; Court
(phrasebook); Communist quiz; 'Ypres 1914' - abandoned; Art
gallery strikes; 'Ypres 1914'; Hospital for over-actors; Gumby
flower arranging; Spam.
TWENTY-SIX
The Queen will be watching; Coal mine (historical argument);
The man who says things in a very roundabout way; The man who
speaks only the ends of words; The man who speaks only the
beginnings of words; The man who speaks only the middles of
words; Commercials; How to feed a goldfish; The man who
collects birdwatcher's eggs; Insurance sketch; Hospital run by
RSM; Mountaineer; Exploding version of 'The Blue Danube';
Girls boarding school; Submarine; Lifeboat (cannibalism;
Undertaker's sketch.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Whicker's World:
Court scene - multiple murderer; Icelandic saga; Court scene
(Viking); Stock Exchange report; Mrs Premise and Mrs
Conclusion visit Jean-Paul Sartre; Whicker Island.
TWENTY-EIGHT
Emigration from Surbiton to Hounslow; Schoolboys' Life
Assurance Company; How to rid the world of all known diseases;
Mrs Niggerbaiter explodes; Vicar/salesman; Farming Club; 'Life
of Tschaikowsky'; Trim-Jeans Theatre; Fish-slapping dance;
World War One; The BBC is short of money; Puss in Boots.
TWENTY-NINE
'The Money Programme'; 'There is nothing quite so wonderful as
money' (song); Erizabeth L; Fraud film squad; Salvation fuzz;
Jungle restaurant; Apology for violence and nudity; Ken
Russell's 'Gardening Club'; The Lost World of Roiurama; Six
more minutes of Monty Python's Flying Circus; Argument clinic;
Hitting on the head lessons; Inspector Flying Fox of the Yard;
One more minute of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
THIRTY
'Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror'; The man who
speaks in anagrams; Anagram quiz; Merchant banker; Pantomime
horses; Life and death struggles; Mary recruitment office; Bus
conductor sketch; The man who makes people laugh
uncontrollably; Army captain as clown; Gestures to indicate
pauses in a televised talk; Neurotic announcers; The news with
Richard Baker (vision only); 'The Pantomime Horse is a Secret
Agent film'.
THIRTY-ONE
The All-England Summarize Proust Competition:
'Summarize Proust Competition'; Everest climbed by
hairdressers; Fire brigade; Our Eamonn; 'Party Hints' with
Veronica Smalls; Language laboratory; Travel agent; Watney's
Red Barrel; Theory on Brontosauruses by Anne Elk (Miss).
THIRTY-TWO
Tory Housewives Clean-up Campaign; Gumby brain specialist;
Molluscs - 'live' TV documentary; The Minister for not
listening to people; Tuesday documentary/children's
story/party political broadcast; Apology (politicians);
Expedition to Lake Pahoe; The silliest interview we've ever
had; The silliest sketch we've ever done.
THIRTY-THREE
Biggles dictates a letter; Climbing the north face of the
Uxbridge road; Lifeboat; Old lady snoopers; 'Storage jars';
The show so far; Cheese shop; Philip Jenkinson on Cheese
Westerns; Sam Peckinpah's 'Salad Days'; Apology; The news with
Richard Baker; Seashore interlude film.
THIRTY-FOUR
The cycling tour:
Mr Pither; Clodagh Rogers; Trotsky; Smolensk; Bingo-crazed
Chinese; 'Jack in a Box'.
THIRTY-FIVE
Bomb on plane; A naked man; Ten seconds of sex; Housing
project built by characters from nineteenth-century English
literature; M1 interchange built by characters from 'Paradise
Lost'; Mystico and Janet - flats built by hypnosis; 'Mortuary
Hour'; The Olympic hide-and-seek final; The Cheap-Laughs;
Bull-fighting; The British Well-Basically Club; Prices on the
planet Algon.
THIRTY-SIX
Tudor jobs agency; Pornographic bookshop; Elizabethan
pornography smugglers; Silly disturbances (the Rev. Arthur
Belling); The free repetition of doubtful words sketch, by an
underrated author; 'Is there?'... life after death?; The man
who says words in the wrong order; Thripshaw's disease; Silly
noises; Sherry-drinking vicar.
THIRTY-SEVEN
'Boxing Tonight' - Jack Bodell v. Sir Kenneth Clark; Dennis
Moore; Lupins; What the stars foretell; Doctor; TV4 or not
TV4' discussion; Ideal Loon Exhibition; Off-Licence;
'Prejudice'.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Party Political Broadcast (choreographed); 'A Book at
Bedtime'; 'Redgauntlet'; Kamikaze Scotsmen; No time to lose;
Penguins; BBC programme planners; Unexploded Scotsmen; 'Spot
the Looney'; Rival documentaries; 'Dad's Doctors' (trail);
Dad's Pooves' (trail).
THIRTY-NINE
Grandstand:
Thames TV introduction; 'Light Entertainment Awards'; Dickie
Attenborough; The Oscar Wilde sketch; David Niven's fridge;
Pasolini's film 'The Third Test Match'; New brain from
Curry's; Blood donor; International Wife-Swapping; Credits of
the Year; The dirty vicar sketch.
FORTY
The golden age of ballooning:
Montgolfier Brothers; Louis XIV; George III; Zeppelin.
FORTY-ONE
Michael Ellis:
Department store; Buying an ant; At home with the ant and
other pets; Documentary on ants; Ant communication; Poetry
reading (ants); Toupee; Different endings.
FORTY-TWO
Light entertainment war:
'Up your Pavement'; RAF banter; Trivializing the war;
Courtmartial; Basingstoke in Westphalia; 'Anything goes In'
(song); Film trailer; The public are idiots; Programme titles
conference; The last five miles of the M2; Woody and tinny
words; Show-jumping (musical); Newsflash (Germans); 'When Does
A Dream Begin?' (song).
FORTY-THREE
Hamlet:
Bogus psychiatrists; 'Nationwide'; Police helmets;
Father-in-law; Hamlet and Ophelia; Boxing match aftermath;
Boxing commentary; Piston engine (a bargain); A room in
Polonius' house; Dentists; Live from Epsom; Queen Victoria
Handicap.
FORTY-FOUR
Mr Neutron:
Post box ceremony; Teddy Salad (CIA agent); 'Conjuring Today'.
FORTY-FIVE
Party Political Broadcast:
'Most Awful Family in Britain'; Icelandic Honey Week; A doctor
whose patients are stabbed by his nurse; Brigadier and Bishop;
Appeal on behalf of extremely rich people; The man who
finishes other people's sentences; David Attenborough; The
walking tree of Dahomey; The batsmen of the Kalahari; Cricket
match (assegais); BBC News (handovers).
APPENDIX: Transmission details.
1 Whither Canada? 5-10-69
2 Sex and Violence 12-10-69
3 How to recognize different types of tree
from quite a long way away 19-10-69
4 Owl-stretching time 26-10-69
5 Man's crisis of identity in the latter half
of the twentieth century 16-11-69
6 (no title--begins with 'Its the Arts') 23-11-69
7 You're no fun any more 30-11-69
8 Full frontal nudity 7-12-69
9 The ant, an introduction 14-12-69
10 (no title-- 'Walk-on part of sketch') 21-12-69
11 (no title-- 'Letter (lavatorial humour') 28-12-69
12 (no title-- 'Falling from building') 4-1-70
13 (no title-- 'Intermissions') 11-1-70
14 (no title-- 'Face the Press') 15-9-70
15 (no title-- 'Man-powered flight') 22-9-70
16 (no title-- 'A bishop rehearsing') 29-9-70
17 (no title-- 'Architect sketch') 20-10-70
18 (no title-- 'Live from the Grill-o-Mat
snack bar') 27-10-70
19 (no title-- 'It's a Living') 3-11-70
20 (no title-- 'The Attila the Hun Show') 10-11-70
21 (no title-- 'Trailer') 17-11-70
22 (no title-- 'How to recognize different
parts of the body') 24-11-70
23 (no title-- 'French subtitled film') 1-12-70
24 (no title-- 'Conquistador coffee campaign') 8-12-70
25 (no title-- 'The Black Eagle') 15-12-70
26 (no title-- 'The Queen will be watching') 22-12-70
27 7 Whicker's World 19-10-72
28 (no title-- 'Emigration from Surbiton
to Hounslow') 26-10-72
29 (no title-- 'The Money Programme') 2-11-72
30 (no title-- 'Blood, Devastation, Death, War
and Horror') 9-11-72
31 1 The All-England Summarize Proust Competition 16-11-72
32 (no title-- 'Tory Housewives Clean-up
Campaign') 23-11-72
33 (no title-- 'Biggles dictates a letter') 30-11-72
34 The cycling tour 7-12-72
35 (no title-- 'Bomb on plane') 14-12-72
36 (no title-- 'Tudor jobs agency') 21-12-72
37 (no title-- 'Boxing tonight--Jack Bodell
vs Sir Kenneth Clark') 4-1-73
38 (no title-- 'Party Political Broadcast
(choreographed)') 11-1-73
39 Grandstand 18-1-73
40 The golden age of ballooning 31-10-74
41 Michael Ellis 7-11-74
42 Light entertainment war 14-11-74
43 Hamlet 21-11-74
44 Mr. Neutron 28-11-74
45 Party Political Broadcast 5-12-74
And that's all of them. The series are broken up as follows:
Series one: 1-13
Series two: 14-26
Series three: 27-39
Series four: 40-45
Where there was no episode title, I put in the name of the first sketch.
Transcribed by Jason R. Heimbaugh (jasonh@joker.aiss.uiuc.edu)