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Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!nic.hookup.net!swrinde!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!ndr From: ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov (Niles D. Ritter) Newsgroups: alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre,alt.fan.firesign-theatre,alt.answers,news.answers Subject: Firesign Theatre: Lexicon Supersedes: <fs_lex_752990782@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov> Followup-To: poster Date: 13 Dec 1993 18:14:50 GMT Organization: Jet Propulsion Labs Lines: 1206 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Distribution: world Expires: 26 Jan 1994 18:14:03 GMT Message-ID: <fs_lex_755806443@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov> References: <fs_intro_755806443@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov> Reply-To: ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov NNTP-Posting-Host: 137.78.80.135 Summary: This posting contains a lexicon of terms and concepts which appear in Firesign Theatre plays and productions. Keywords: firesign,comedy,faq,lexicon,bozo Originator: ndr@jane Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre:998 alt.fan.firesign-theatre:258 alt.answers:1414 news.answers:15737 Archive-name: firesign-theatre/lexicon Last-modified: 1993/11/20 Version: 1.8 About This Archive ------------------ This archive is posted monthly to alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre, alt.fan.firesign-theatre, alt.answers, and news.answers. It is also available via anonymous ftp to rtfm.mit.edu in the directory /pub/usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*, or by sending e-mail to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu with the message "send usenet/alt.answers/firesign-theatre/*". Include the line "help" in the message for more information on the server. Send new entries/updates, etc. to ndr@tazboy.jpl.nasa.gov. Changes: 1. Corrections to entries: {TIREBITER}: Ossman never went to USC. Side 4) The Firesign Theatre: Lexicon and Concordance File ========================================================== [A] --- ALVARADO: {PICO}'s sidekick, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". From the streets Pico and Alvarado in Los Angeles. PICO and ALVARADO are both {BEANERS}. They are featured in the plays {BOZOS},{DWARF}, as well as others. {NICK DANGER} had to swim down Alvarado to his convertable during a severe rain storm. Pico and Alvarado sometimes like to yell, "{PARK} it and Lock it! Not Responsible!" AMES: Harry Ames, Jr. A fictional actor who portrays Lieutenant {BRADSHAW} on the {NICK DANGER} series. There is also a Gun Salesman names Ed Ames, who runs the "Ames Guns" store in {DWARF}. ANCHOVIES: Small fish with beady little eyes. We first encounter anchovies in {DWARF}, when George Tirebiter calls a {PIZZA} parlor (note the name of the pizza joint he calls): GEORGE [mumbling]: Let's see...Ocelots. Paupers. Pipe-nipples, Polombras, Pizzas! Armenian Gardens...Hank's Juggernaut... New Leviathan...Nick's Swell... SOUND: HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. THE NEWSCAST GOES ON. < Broadcast deleted> GEORGE [phoning]: Uh, this is George Tirebiter, Camden N 200 R. [pause] Uh, I want to order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. [pause] What ? [clicks phone] Oh, man! Nobody will come up here at all! Apparently, Tirebiter mistakenly called {NICK DANGER}, in the episode, "Cut 'Em Off at the Past". On that album, we hear the same conversation, but from the other side of the phone: ANNOUNCER: He walks in! He's ready for mystery...he's ready for excitement! He's ready for anything...he's... SOUND: TELEPHONE PICKED UP NICK: Nick Danger, Third Eye! GEORGE: (ON FILTER) Uh-I wanna order a pizza to go, and no anchovies. NICK: No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name...Danger! [click] GEORGE: (FILTER) What? MUSIC: "NICK DANGER" THEME IN AND UNDER. Note: This is a direct quote from the "Big Mystery" Joke book, and so the attribution of "GEORGE" to the guy on the other side of the phone is the FT's, not an inference (some people thought it was the voice of the teenage Porgie that called Nick). In another episode of Nick Danger, "The case of the Missing Yolks" (Video), and the "Three faces of Al" (album), Rocky {ROCOCO} calls up Nick at the start of the play, and turns everything around: ROCKY: I want to order an anchovy to go, and hold the pizza. NICK: Anchovies? ROCKY: Yeah, those little black things, with eyes! NICK: You've got the wrong man. I spell my name (LOOKS BACK AT THE DOOR) ...REGNAD. ARTIE CHOKE: A {HOLOGRAM} in the FT's {BOZO} play. Artie, the Lonesome Beet and the Whisperin' Squash were all once intended to be characters in an FT western radio show, featuring an all-vegetable cast. AUSTIN: Philip Austin, one of the FT members. [B] --- BABE: The name of {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {TWO PLACES}. In the liner notes for the "Two Places" CD, Phil Austin writes: It has often been correctly note that the progress of Babe is linked with that of Odysseus, the hero of Homer's Epic poem, "The Odyssey". Although HCYB does not literally follow the form of "The Odyssey", there are several key meetings between the two stories and certainly, like Joyce's "Ulysses", HCYB derives much inspiration from the age-old story of a man trying to return home. Odysseus (Ulysses) finds himself imprisoned, bound by the spell of the witch Calypso, when his outrages against the gods are forgiven and he is allowed to return home. All we will see of this on HCYB is Babe running across a street, nearly to be killed, and entering the emporium of one {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, who may or may not be the god Hermes, sent to sell Babe the instrument of his homecoming. (Some see HCYB as the musings of Ralph, that Ralph is the storyteller and Babe portrays him as a young man. Well...) BARNEY: Barney is a {BOZO}. The new "Bozo" CD gives a definition: "Barny or Barney: In the English circus, a fight. The closest American equivalent is {CLEM}." BBOP: Not Bee-bop, but the FT's "Big Book of Plays". BEAR WHIZ BEER: A popular beverage in FT plays, heard in both {EYKIW} and in {YOLKS}. "It's in the water! that's why it's yellow!" Currently a company in Colorado has appropriated the Logo for tee-shirts and posters [###and the editor spotted a *Neon* sign of BWB in Manitou Springs during a recent vacation!]. BEDDOES: Dr. Beddoes, head of Dr. Beddoes Pneumatic Institute, which in real life was a 19th century operation dedicated to experimenting with nitrous oxide (laughing gas). BERGMAN: Peter Bergman, one of the FT members. BOB BUNNY: A fifteen year-old kid, who is the side-kick of {MARK TIME} of the Circum-Solar Federation. He is also a fan of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective, and asks him the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question, which he found carved on the Great Wall of Mars. BOTTLES: {MUDHEAD}'s crazy hopped-up girlfriend, in Porgie {TIREBITER} movies. She is played by Barbara Bobo. Her name is likely a play on the word "Jugs". BOZO: See {BOZOS}. BOZOS: A Bozo likes to {CLONE} and be with other Bozos. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. Honk! Honk! See also {BEANERS}, {BOOGIES}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. Featured in the FT play,"I Think Were All Bozos's on this Bus". The FT gives the following definition: "BOZO: A man, fellow, guy; esp. a large, rough man or one with more brawn than brains. 1934: "Drive the heap, bozo" -- Chandler, _Finger Man_. From Sp. dial. "boso" (from "vosotros") - you (pl.) which resembles a direct address." --Dictionary of American Slang by Wentworth and Flexner, 1960. B.O.Z.O is also referred to as an acronym for the "Brotherhood Of {ZIPS} and Others". BEANERS: A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BEATLES: A 60's Rock-and-Roll group (I can't believe I actually would have to explain this, but I do). A few Beatles references: In {NICK DANGER}: Rocky Rococo: A play on "Rocky Raccoon" Catherwood: says "Goo-goo-goo-joob" (ref: "I am the Walrus"), and then says "I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink" (cf "I'm So Tired", from the "White Album"). His references to {CELLOPHANE}, although a clear {SFX} device, could also be the line "Cellophane flowers of yellow and green" (cf "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" -- Sgt. Pepper). Nick: says his story has more holes in it than the Albert Hall (cf "A Day in the Life" -- Sgt. Pepper). "It was Pig nite at the Om mani padme Sigma House." is a reference to the mantra: "Om mani padme hum" (note the awful math pun: Sigma-->Sum-->Hum). This also possibly a reference to "Piggies" on the White Album, although some Fraternities actually used to have a Pig Nite, where they would bring ugly women. Nancy: "<long list of names>, but everyone knew her as Nancy" is from "Rocky Raccoon" (White Album, again!): Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil But everyone knew her as Nancy... Also, her boyfriend's name is "Dan" in the Song (Dan Catherwood): Now she and her man who called himself Dan Were in the next room at the hoe down In {HEMLOCK STONES}, they sing "Get Back" at the end. In {HCYB}, one of the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} motors commercials begins, "Don't we do it in the road here at Ralph's Spoilsport Motors..." (cf "Why Dont We Do it In the Road" from the "White Album"). One of the kids in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (Returned for Regrooving) was named "Malcom X.John Lennon" In the "Dear Friends" album, one of the skits ends with a politician singing, "Those Moscow girls really knock me out" (a mis-quote from "Back in the USSR" -- the girls were Ukrainian). BERZERKER: See {BERZERKERS}. BERZERKERS: One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BMJB: The FT's "Big Mystery Joke Book", containing the transcripts of {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran Rat play, {NICK DANGER}'s "Cut 'Em Off at the Past" play, "Temporarily Humboldt County", "{MARK TIME}" from the "Dear Friends" album, "{YOUNG GUY}", motor detective, and others. BOOGIES:A non-offensive term derived from the ethnically offensive one, referring to the lifestyle rather than the race. One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN}, according to the FT. BRADSHAW: Lieutenant Alvin Bradshaw, in the FT police forces. Loosely based on the Officer Bradshaw from the old Highway Patrol episodes, Bradshaw is constantly pestering the private investigators {NICK DANGER} and his Javanese counterpart {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. {YOUNG GUY} once discovered that "BRAD" stands for "Bernard", indicating that Bradshaw is actually "George Bernard Shaw, famous author and riterary smart-guy". Bradshaw is played by the fictional character Harry Ames, Jr. BUS: What I think We're all {BOZO}'s on. The "Bozo" CD liner notes quote the following definition: "BUS: A circuit in a mixing board which carries signals from one or more inputs to any output or set of outputs." The {PRESIDENT} is referred to as the "Terminal Bus -- the output". [C] --- CELLOPHANE: An {SFX} tool, used to simulate fire on radio. In {NICK DANGER}, Catherwood asks if he Nick wants to pull his "cues" out of the cellophane before they scorch. See also {CORNSTARCH}. CHEESE: Many types of CHEESE appear in FT skits: {GORGONZOLA} the Cheese-monster, Cheese-Logs, Cheese-Log-Throws, not to mention {RAT}S. On the album cover of {ITNWYOYO}, on the wall (below the billboards for 'Dead Cat Soap" and "Billy Jack Dogfood") there are signs for 'Bowel {OIL}' and'{SWELL} Cheese'. See also {PIZZA}. CLEM: The {EVERYMAN} of the FT play {BOZOS}. Also known as "UhClem" to the main computer in the {FUTURE FAIR}. The liner notes for "Bozos" quotes the following definition from "The Language of American Popular Entertainment": "Clem: Its most common meaning is that of a general fight or riot between town hoodlums who attack shows and the circus or carnival employees. As an interjection, clem has replaces 'hey rube' as a battle cry for a forthcoming fight. In this case, Clem attacks the Future Fair main computer by inserting a gypsy program to confuse {DOCTOR MEMORY}, bringing the whole operation down. The FT in later skits apparently developed Clems motivation and story as follows (David Ossman writes): "Clem, a shoeless computer programmer for the Fair, was fired after he re-programmed the {RALPH SPOILSPORT} Speedway ride to 'Smoke Dope' ie, slow down, free-associate, play. He has now re-entered the Fair and broken into the maintenance circuits of {DOCTOR MEMORY} in order to re-program it to 'forget the past'. As on the album, he succeeds in confusing the good Dr. into contradictory on/off instructions which sabotage the machine and destroy the fantastic illusions we had taken for Reality. CLONE: To either replicate yourself into a {HOLOGRAM}, or to act like all the other {BOZO}S. CONFIDENCE IN THE SYSTEM: A timely drug. Here's an advertisement for it by the FT on Ben Bland's All Day Matinee on the "Just Folks" album.: You know, this is the midst of the disillusionment and heartbreak season and,with the recent outbreak of that suicidal strain of despair up in Boston,well, you'd better keep a close watch on your emotions. So remember the seven danger signals of depression; that's a general and lasting feeling of hope-lessness, inability to concentrate, loss of self-esteem, fear of rejection, feelings of guilt, misdirected anger, and extreme dependency on others. At the first sign of these symptoms, friends, follow these simple rules: keep working, drink as much as possible, and... take your television's advice. And y'know more TV's recommend an amazing new psychic breakthrough than any other, and that's... Confidence in the System. Fast, safe, and guaranteed through constant Federal control, Confidence in the System will keep THEM in power longer, longer, longer, and tend to calm and obscure the miseries of disillusionment and despair. In easy-to-swallow Propaganda form or new fast-acting Thought Control, that's Confidence in the System. So have some... today. CORNSTARCH: Used to simulate snow in {NICK DANGER}. Catherwood asks Nick to come in out of the Cornstarch and dry his mucklucks by the fire. CUNEGONDE: As in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (The 38th Cunegonde). This is referred to in {DWARF}, and is the title of another FT piece. Cunegonde has generated quite a discussion amongst the FT irregulars... A number of fans noted that Cunegonde is the daughter of the Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, a central character in Voltaire's "Candide". Jeff Bulf notes the use of this name elsewhere in the arts: Cunegonde and its variants in other languages seems to be a standard name for what we would now call "bimbo" characters in European film. And presumably in stage before that. I cannot remember the title of a black-and-white scandinavian movie with tease/tart named Kunigunda. I saw it when I was in high school anyway, which puts it before the first Firesign performances. (Was it a Bergman? Doesn't sound like his sort of character.) The name seems to be used as if it were a month; several fans have tried to link it with the French Revolution and its renaming of the calendar months; E.g., July became "Thermidor" -- best recalled by the "Thermidorean reaction" that followed some brutality as the revolution took its course. As for the origin of the name Cunegonde, Evan M Corcoran was kind enough to track this down with the help of his brother in France: ...Here's what he came up with, from the five volume Grand Larousse dictionary, translated free for your personal libation: Cunegonde - (saint), Germanic imperatrice (v. 978 - abbey of Kaufungen, Hesse, 1033 or 1040 [I'm not exactly sure what this means, I'll ask my brother]) Spouse of Henri II the Saint, canonised in 1200. later he has continued: One more historical note: I checked out Sainte Cunegonde, and as far as I could determine, she is not the patroness of anything. There is ANOTHER Sainte Cunegonde who is patroness of Poland and Lithuania, but she's not the one parodied in Candide. Or is she... Both Cunegondes are also spelled Kunigonda in some places. And St. Vitus is the patron of comedians. So, Cunegonde might be saint of something (perhaps, Cows?) [D] --- DCTDHMTP: Don't Crush That {DWARF}, Hand Me the Pliers!. DOCTOR MEMORY: The big computer that runs everything in the {FUTURE FAIR}, described in the FT's {BOZO} play. The Doctor was also mentioned in a poem on the "Dear Friends" album. He is based on an old SAILON LISP program written for the PDP-10 running the TOPS-10 operating system. DWARF: "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers": An FT play about the life of the {EVERYMAN} George {TIREBITER}. The title appears to be a marijuana reference. "Dwarf" is slang for a marijuana cigarette which has been almost completely consumed (ie, "roach") and the "pliers" are pliers or any other device which can be used to hold the dwarf by the very end in order to consume the rest of the cigarette ("roach clip"). Hence, "don't crush that nearly-consumed marijuana cigarette, hand me a pair of pliers (so that I can smoke the rest)." This could also be tied in to Hal Roach, the famous producer of old silent comedies, who only recently died at the age of 100+. He is given a brief mention at the end of "Dwarf", when {TIREBITER}'S secretary indicates that Mr. Roach had left a message, along with Laurel & Hardy, Harpo Marx ("Honk! Honk!- he would leave his name..") The FT sometimes refer to a "Hot Roach Studios", which they presumably ran. The liner notes for the "Dwarf" CD mentions that the original title for Dwarf was "We'll be Heironymus Bosch in Jest a Minute, but Faust..." indicating connections between the play and the man who "sold out" to the devil, as well as the nature of interruptions as a part of life. {ROCKY ROCOCO}, the nemesis of {NICK DANGER}, is a dwarf: CATHER: "Nancy, who's that ugly dwarf with his hand in your mouth?" ROCKY: "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!" There were also dwarf maples at the {SAME OLD PLACE} [E] --- EAT FLAMING DEATH: From the Jargon Lexicon of the Hacker's Dictionary: eat flaming death: imp. A construction popularized among hackers by the infamous CPU Wars comic; supposed to derive from a famously turgid line in a WWII-era anti-Nazi propaganda comic that ran "Eat flaming death, non-Aryan mongrels!" or something of the sort (however, it is also reported that the Firesign Theater's 1975 album "In The Next World, You're On Your Own" included the phrase "Eat flaming death, fascist media pigs"; this may have been an influence). Used in humorously overblown expressions of hostility. "Eat flaming death, EBCDIC users!" ELECTRICIAN: "Waiting for the Electrician, or Someone like Him".Another FT play, featured on the album of the same name. The first of the cycle of plays following the life of {EVERYMAN},named P, in this case. The Electrician was also a mysterious character that appeared in the {HEMLOCK STONES} play "The Giant Rat of Sumatra", and pursued the great {ZEPELLIN TUBE} that was stolen by Jonas ACME. Little did Jonas realize that the Electrician was in fact, his own ward and heir, young Frank Acne, Jr.! EVERYMAN: A useful term to describe the often nameless heroes of the FT plays. The FT's {BBOP} book describes how the hero transmutes from one play into the next(summarized here): "Waiting for the {ELECTRICIAN} or Someone like Him": The{EVERYMAN} is named "P" (after Phil, and in homage to Kafka's K).The play ends with "P" escaping from the country Enroute... ...and winding up on Ventura Blvd, in the process of buying a new car. {EVERYMAN}'s name is now Babe, and his story is told in "How Can You Be in {TWO PLACES} At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All". Babe drifts through many adventures, and with the help of {RALPH SPOILSPORT}, falls asleep to a hemp-laced version of James Joyce's Molly Bloom soliloquy from Ulysses... ( as a side trip, Babe and {NICK DANGER} are literally flip-sides of each other: "Wait a minute; didn't I say that on the other side of this record?" THAT's how you can be in two places at once!) ...and wakes up at 4AM, now named George Leroy {TIREBITER}! His story is now told by the {DWARF} play, as the {EVERYMAN} sees his life played out on various channels of the television, where he is, by turns, an old movie director, a political candidate,a child star, a high-school kid, an adult actor, an Army Officer,and a quiz-show MC. Eventually, he "sells out", wakes up from the TV world, regains his youth, and runs out to get an ice-cream bar from the truck... ...Hunger satisfied, and with nothing else to do on a beautiful Fall morning, George-now transmogrified into a young man named {CLEM} -- is amused and intrigued by the arrival of the {FUTURE FAIR} Tour Bus, as described in the {BOZO}S play (note that when Barney,the {BOZO}, reminds Clem to inflate his {SHOES},Clem replies that he no longer wears shoes -- as Porgie {TIREBITER} in {DWARF} did).As he wanders through the Fair, he asks both the {PRESIDENT}and{DOCTOR MEMORY} a question about the {PORRIDGE BIRD},which brings down the whole show. The fair and all its creations vanish, leaving only the fireworks of the departure. And now, the story changes,and the Future is Past, (coming full circle ?) ... EYKIW: Everything You Know Is Wrong! An FT play satirizing {SEEKER}S. [F] --- FALL OVER: A common phrase occurring throughout FT plays is "(s)He's no fun, (s)he fell right over". This is tied indirectly to {FUDD'S LAW}: If you push something hard enough it will fall over. {NANCY} is a real push-over. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT} and {BOZO}. Lots of people fall over in FT plays, presumably in obedience to {FUDD'S LAW}. Among them, {BABE} in the {TWO PLACES} play,{NANCY} fell over in an episode of {NICK DANGER}, Third-eye,and Edmund's Nuncle fell over in the play "Waiting for the Count of Monte Cristo (or someone like Him," in the {NOT INSANE} album ("What,what,Dead drunk ... NAY DEAD!"). The Nick Danger reference is particularly dizzying, as the following transcript shows: NANCY: [DIZZY] The whole world is spinning! NICK: That's lucky for us! If it were flat, all the Chinese would fall off! [SOUND OF NANCY FALLING] NICK: She's no fun, she fell right over. Wait a minute...didn't I say that on the other side of the record. Where am I? I better check... [PORTION OF OTHER SIDE OF RECORD PLAYED BACKWARDS] NICK: Oh, it's OK, they're speaking Chinese.. -- Note: the "Chinese" are on the other side of a *flat* vinyl record, which is spinning! This phrase was quoted recently by the character Dr. Venckman on the cartoon version of "The Real Ghostbusters", in the episode titled, 'My Uncle Harold'. In {BOZO} we hear, "Animals without backbones hid from each other, or fell down." FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN: {BOZO}S, {BOOGIES}, {BEANERS}, {ZIPS} and {BERZERKERS}. The FT's {BBOP} book describes them all as follows: <pre> The five lifestyles of man in the future are, starting from top to bottom, though it's circular: First the {BERZERKER}. Clue to a Berserker: Anybody who's got a gun.Anybody in a lime-green car with eight-foot tires, called Demon or Barracuda. Any Army officer, anybody in uniform. A Bobby is not a Berserker. But maybe he is because he carries his job, his badge. Most people who have jobs. There's a Berserker aspect to all of us. You can play softball with a Berserker. A Berserker doesn't always have to kill, but in the back of his mind, it's not a bad idea. Under the Berserkers are the {ZIPS}. The archetypal Zip is the 1930's guy with the thin moustache. Zips have always been concerned with hair. We're exhibiting Zip tendencies in having rather fancily cut moustaches. We're all prone to these various aspects. There's a Zip in everyone's kip, is the World War One English expression. Zips love new products. Zips are often found inside new headphones. They've got zip, pep. Zzzzzip! Zip me up! Most actors are Zips. There's a category called Hip Zip, which David invented yesterday. B.O.Z.O. is the Brotherhood of Zips and Others. Bozos are people who band together for fun and profit. They have no jobs. Anybody who goes on a tour is a Bozo. Why does a Bozo cross the street? Because there's a Bozo on the other side. It comes from the phrase *vosotros*, meaning others. They're the huge, fat, middle waist. The archetype is an Irish drunk clown with red hair and nose, and pale skin. Fields, William Bendix. Everybody tends to drift towards Bozoness. It has Oz in it. They mean well. They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes. They like their comforts. The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time, which is all the time. (###"*vos otros*" is a multilevel pun on the spanish noun, *bosotros*, meaning clowns, "the 'b' and the 'v' being the same" -- ed.) Now, the {BOOGIES}. You see a bunch of Boogies around you. That's our lifestyle. There are more spades in this class than any other. But the world is changing. There are now getting to be a lot of spade Zips. And spade Bozos. Boogies don't differentiate between grass and alcohol. People who work in post offices are generally Boogies. They take it easy. They don't Zip. They're not Bozos because they don't clone. They boogie around rather than hanging around one another. They Boogie. The other class is the {BEANERS}. The Beaners live outside the Law of Gravity. They have more color television sets than anybody in the world. They're always appearing either on or with you color TV. They watch themselves on color TV. Beaners are very concerned with their own refuse, which they leave piled up around their house, but always in use. They're always going to use it. Hundreds of old pickup trucks. All Indians are Beaners. They don't care. Why should they? Beaners can't tell lies. They fear no one. "Don't point your finger at me Daddy-o, I cut it off!" Pico and Alvarado are Beaners. We love the Beaners. Most youth is Bozo-like now [early 70's]. That's why people get so upset when Berzerkers come into a Bozo gathering. 'Cause Bozos never do anything to anybody. Bozos keep having rock festivals. They create marijuana free-areas. Grass has moved into Bozodom. The Berserkers and Zips run things now. Why does a Zip pay taxes? Because he likes to fill out the forms. Berserkers run things by telling you the Beaners are going to get you. Those desperate Beaners may strike at any time! All politicians are Berserkers. </pre> Update for the 90's: During the late 70's the youth began drifting into {ZIP}ness, with the disco-era, and the general populace, in definite {BERZERKER} mode,began the Reagan years.... The use by former {PRESIDENT} George Bush, referring to some other politicians as "Bozos" may not have been influenced by the FT, but it might as well have been. Bush himself, like most politicians,was a {BERZERKER}. Clinton has been showing definite {BOZO} tendencies in the way that he {CLONES}, {BOOGIE}ness with his non-inhaling experiments,{ZIP}ness with Cristophe, but to date only a few {BERZERKER} tendencies... But remember: it's all cyclical! FLOTSAM JETSAM: The sidekick of {HEMLOCK STONES}. FOUR OR FIVE CRAZY GUYS: The Firesign Theatre. FUDD'S LAW: "If You Push Something Hard Enough, It Will {FALL OVER}". A Law Enunciated by the FT in the {WALL OF SCIENCE} segment of {ITWABOTB}. The full name is "Fudd's First Law of Opposition", and was enunciated by Sir Sidney Fudd. Here are some other FT Rules, with references: 1. If you give the people a light, they'll follow it anywhere. {POOP} 2. If you push something hard enough, it'll fall over. {ITWABOTB} 3. If you dig a deep enough hole, everybody'll want to jump into it. {EYKIW}. See also {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, and {FALL OVER}. FT: The Firesign Theatre. FUTURE FAIRE: See {FUTURE FAIR}. FUTURE FAIR: From {BOZOS} -- The FUTURE FAIR was an amusement park which looked fondly back to the future. (The movie title "Back to the Future" may have been influence by this). "A fair for all and no fare for anybody!" The motivations for this fair are numerous: the 1933 Chicago Worlds Fair, with its "Hall of Science" (see {WALL OF SCIENCE}), and the 1939 World of Tomorrow Worlds Fair in New York, with its "Futurama" display. FTAEBGB: (Faster,Further) Than Anyone's Ever Been Gone Before! Lots of people are always breaking the limits in FT plays. In {HEMLOCK STONES} Sumatran {RAT} episode, after installing the {ZEPPELIN TUBE} into their yacht, Violet Dudley, says, "Whoo! that's faster than anyone's ever been gone before! For example, in {NICK DANGER}, "Cut 'Em Off At the Past" episode, we hear: CATHERWOOD: "I'll be gone for thousand years!" NANCY: "Gee, that's longer than anyone's ever been gone before." CATHERWOOD: "But to you it will seem only a moment. Very well, my dear: Forward Into The Past!" <fading> NANCY: "I hope he gets back before all this dry ice melts." [G] --- GEORGE TIREBITER: See {TIREBITER}. GOLDEN HINDE: A series hosted by Bob {HINDE}. "Welcome to the wonderful world of Snails and adventure as we board the Golden Hinde". This has been quoted several times in {MST3K} The `Golden Hind' was the ship in which, in 1577-1580, Francis Drake sailed around the world. Originally, the ship was named the `Pelican', but while he was travelling, Drake changed the name in honor of his patron, Sir Christopher Hatton. Hatton's crest was a golden hind. (A "hind" is a sort of female deer, more specifically a female three years or older; especially a female red deer.) GORGONZOLA: A fearsome cheese-monster! Mentioned by {BRADSHAW} on a {YOUNG GUY} Motor-Detective radio show, and elsewhere. See also {CHEESE}. [H] --- HCYB: How Can You Be in {TWO PLACES} at Once, When You're Not Anywhere at All? HEMLOCK STONES: Yet another FT detective, loosely based on Sherlock Holmes. Known as "Hemlock Stones, the Great Defective". His sidekick is {FLOTSAM JETSAM}. HIDEO GUMP: A Japanese business man, whose son Hideo Gump, Jr.played the role of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective! HINDE: Refers either to the {GOLDEN HINDE} or Bob Hinde, the host of the show. Briefly appeared in {DWARF}, and in {EYKIW}, where we first meet the aliens. They have appeared in several {MST3K} episodes as well. HOLOGRAM: A 3D cybernetic {CLONE} of someone, made popular in the play {ITWABOTB}. [I] --- I CHING: A Chinese fortune telling device, involving the tossing of coins and observing the binary patterns which come up, and then looking up the corresponding pattern in an I-Ching dictionary of patterns. The Firesign Theatre, in writing their {EVERYMAN} plays, had a tradition of throwing the I-Ching before and after each of their plays. For example, in {BOZO}'s, the first words we hear are "Biting Through...", which is an I-Ching. In "Return for Regrooving" on the {ELECTRICIAN} album, the Hippie Republic of China reported, "We threw I Ching... out the window! We are now unanimous!" {POOH STICKS} are often used to throw the I-Ching. There was also a Sally I-Ching who just turned 12 today on {DWARF}. The last line of {NICK DANGER} in {TWO PLACES} is from the I Ching and is also found in the Unix version documentation for ching(6), under "DIAGNOSTICS". Here's an excerpt of the "man" page: CHING(6) GAMES AND DEMOS CHING(6) The impatient modern may prefer to settle for Chinese cook- ies; try fortune(6). SEE ALSO It furthers one to see the great man. DIAGNOSTICS The great prince issues commands, Founds states, vests families with fiefs. Inferior people should not be employed. BUGS Waiting in the mud Brings about the arrival of the enemy. If one is not extremely careful, Somebody may come up from behind and strike him. Misfortune. Sun Release 4.1 Last change: 16 February 1988 2 ITNWYOYO: In the Next World You're On Your Own. An FT album. ITWABOTB: I Think We're All {BOZO}S On This Bus. One of the cornerstones of FT philosophy and viewpoints, and the fourth in the FT's {EVERYMAN} cycle of plays. INSANE: See {NOT INSANE}. [J] --- [K] --- [L] --- LEPRECHAUNS: Posed the {PORRIDGE BIRD} question to {EVERYMAN}. And just look at the havok THAT recked! LOOSTNERS: Caster-oil flakes. One of {NICK DANGER}'s sponsors. "With real glycerin vibra-fome!" [M] --- MARK TIME: A space-adventurer from the Circum-Solar Federation, serialized by the FT in their "Dear Friends" album, and also a ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. His side-kick is {BOB BUNNY}. MEMORY: See {DOCTOR MEMORY}! MUDHEAD: {PORGIE} {TIREBITER}'s friend in the movies. Motivated by Jughead and Archie, and by Henry Aldrich, the old radio show. Speculation: Starting with the second film, Henry's pal was a certain "Dizzy" Stevens. The connection between Dizzy and Jughead is via baseball: "Dizzy" Dean was a renowned pitcher, and "Mudhead" was one of the nicknames of an early black baseball great. MALMBORG: See {QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO} MST3K: Mystery Science Theatre 3000. A TV series on the Comedy Channel which often makes references to obscure Firesign Theatre phrases, including loose shoes, {SHOES} for industry, hi i'm joe beets, dear friends, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute, as well as the {GOLDEN HINDE}. [N] --- NANCY: Also known as Melanie Haber, Audrey Farber, Susan Underhill,and... Betty Jo Bialowsky! {NICK DANGER}'s old college beau, in "Cut 'em off at the Past!". Her name is a {BEATLES} reference. Tom Teslacle names his "Automated Pushover" after Nancy, based on {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}, a corollary to {FUDD'S LAW}, in {BOZO}. NICK DANGER: A private-eye, made popular in the FT play,"Nick Danger, Third Eye", on the {TWO PLACES} album, and in the video episode, "The Case 0f the Missing {YOLKS}". His Japanese counterpart is {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective! He is tied to George {TIREBITER} via {ANCHOVIES}, which George doesn't like on his {PIZZA}s. He is also tied to {BOZO}s when the Whisperin' Squash suggests to {CLEM} that he could "Cut Em' Off at the Past". NOT INSANE: The reason you should have voted for {PAPOON}, rather than those other {BERZERKERS} and {BOZO}S. He's not insane! Refers also to the FT's album of the same name. Crazy {ROCKY} also said, "I'm not insane!" in the {YOLKS} video. [O] --- OIL: A famous prayer in {TWO PLACES} goes: "...annointed with oil on troubled waters? oh Heavenly Grid, help us bear up thy *Standard, our *Chevron flashing bright across the *Gulf of Compromise, standing *Humble on the *Rich Field of *Mobile *American Thinking? Here in this *Shell, we call Life..." which has 8(*) oil-company references in it. OSSMAN: David Ossman, one of the FT members. OXNARD: A real place on the California coast, home of the {YOLK}s. {ROCKY ROCOCO} is thought to be responsible for everything bad that happens there. (In the FT video, "The case of the missing {YOLK}s"). OZ: The land of {BOZOS}. Refers to Radio Free Oz, on Pacifica-sponsored KPFK radio in Los Angeles, where the FT used to broadcast their show. David Ossman is also referred to sometimes as Oz. [P] --- PAPOON: An FT character who ran for {PRESIDENT}. He's {NOT INSANE}! PARK: "Park and Lock it! Not Responsible" A common yell in FT plays. {PICO} and {ALVARADO} yell it a lot. According to the {BBOP} book, when Peter Bergman was young, he and a kid named Bruce Berger opened up a parking lot one night in an empty lot across from an Emporium show in the Midwest. As Peter put it, "We made $50 wearing Cleveland Indians baseball caps, yelling, "*Park and Lock It! Not Responsible!" PICO: {ALVARADO}'s friend, as in "It's Pico and Alvarado". Another street in Los Angeles.They are also historical references: Pico and Alvarado were the last two Mexican governors of Alta California. PICKLES: Lots of pickles in FT. {ROCKY ROCOCO} is always carrying some around in a brown paper bag, and often wears Pickle on a Rope perfume. "Pickles down the rat-hole!", says {HEMLOCK STONES}. On the old "Dear Friends" shows they used to have a squeeky pickle that you could hear every so often. PIZZA: Nick's Swell Pizza has a phone number very similar to {NICK DANGER}'s, when George {TIREBITER} tried to order one. On {TWO PLACES} we also hear: SCHNIFTER: Das ist immer alles Aulung und ist rauch mit and potzen Volkswagen und niemann stint und "Swell Pizza!!" Nick also fools {ROCOCO} in {YOLKS} by pretending to be a pizza delivery boy. PLAYER: Another {EVERYMAN}, in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", who, like {BABE}, has his adventures in a car. POOH: Winnie the Pooh has influence a number of FT lines. For example, Tom Teslacle says "It goes in and out like anything," which is a misquote of Eeyore (see {TESLACLE'S DEVIANT}) In addition, the FT would sometimes read directly from the Books of Pooh for each other's birthdays. POOH STICKS: Used to throw the {I CHING}. POOP: A character in many FT plays, who gives speeches with numerous spoonerisms and Freudian slips, eg. "In the words of the Foundry, er.. Founder, Ukaipa Heep,". Appears as Principal Poop in {DWARF}. PORRIDGE BIRD: A (mythical?) bird which lays its eggs in the air. Why? See {WDTPBLHEITA}. PORGIE: Porgie {TIREBITER}. One of George Leroy {TIREBITER}'s many personas. Apparently motivated by Archie & Jughead, and by the old "Henry Aldrich" radio shows. PRESIDENT: A popular ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}. You get to ask a question of the computer-operated President, and get a free simulfax copy of your question, together with his answer. {CLEM} broke the President by asking him about {PORRIDGE BIRD}s. ...{PAPOON} also ran for President! PROCTOR: Philip Proctor, one of the FT members. Plays the {POOP}, among many. [Q] --- QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO: A mysterious phrase which recurs in {BOZOS}. It was first exclaimed by the discoverer of {FUDD'S LAW}. No one (yet) seems to know its true origin, although it is said to have been written on a cigarette lighter that Phil Proctor used to have, and belonged to a person named Malmborg, who lived in Plano, Texas. Another listener is convinced that he saw this pseudo-latin phrase inscribed in a drawing by Albrecht Duerer. The phrase seems to be a mixture of latin and middle-english: "Quid" may be translated from the latin root meaning "this/something/that", and "plano" simply means "flat/horizontal/smooth". The nearest translation of "malmborg" we are willing to conjecture is based on the Middle-English word "malm" which the OED tells us is a type of man-made chalky clay, which is often worked into "malm-bricks", so perhaps this phrase refers to the conversion of this(quid) clay into flat (plano) bricks, as consternation turns to lucidation. The mixture of ME and latin, together with the brick reference, may indicate a Freemason influence, but this is wild conjecture on the part of the editor. [R] --- RALPH SPOILSPORT: A used-car salesman, based on Ralph William's ads in Los Angeles. Also refers to a kind of mantra, which when recited sounds like a used-car ad: "Hiya friend, Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport motors, the largest new-used and used-new dealership...". He appears in {TWO PLACES}. See {BABE} for a comparison between Ralph and Hermes, messenger of the gods. RANCHO MALARIO: A set of Clowndominiums build at a former indian reservation. Includes the famous "Trail of Tears" golf course. Mentioned in {TWO PLACES}, and also {EYKIW}, when Bob Hind was interviewing Buz and Bunny Krumhunger about their visit with the aliens. RAT: Rats are featured prominently in FT plays, notably, in {HEMLOCK STONES} "Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra", in the song "Rat in a Box" (in the {NICK DANGER} video, {YOLKS}), and in their play "The Year of the Rat". "The Giant Rat of Sumatra" is "a tale for which the world is not yet ready", which is a line attributed the the "real" Dr. Watson in "The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. REGNAD KCIN: See {NICK DANGER}, the other way around. See also {ANCHOVIES}. RESPONSIBLE: See {PARK}. ROACH: See {DWARF}. ROCOCO: See {ROCKY ROCOCO}. ROCKY ROCOCO: {NICK DANGER}'s nemesis. Rococo is an extended impression of Peter Lorre playing Joel Cairo in the film "The Maltese Falcon. His name is an apparent play on the Beatle's "Rocky Racoon". Rocky Rococo is known to be a {DWARF}, wear terrible perfumes, like "pyramid patchuli", and "pickle on a rope". He is also thought to be responsible for everything bad that happens in {OXNARD}. His main offensive tactic appears to be to put people on installment plans, and then pressure them when they can't keep up the payments. His Japanese counterpart may be Rocky Rocomoto, whose TV series, "Million-Dollar Monster Crasic" (on the {NOT INSANE} album), featured the Shake-a-speare play "Anythinge you want to", in addition to {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. In Minneapolis and maybe nationwide, there is a pizzeria chain called "Rocky Rococco", with a Middle-Eastern looking guy in a white suit on the logo. [S] --- SAME OLD PLACE: The Old Same Place, in Santa Barbara, where {NANCY} and Catherwood, her butler/husband lived. See also {NICK DANGER}. SEPULVEEDA: A mis-pronounced street in Los Angeles in {NICK DANGER}. The actual street is Sepulveda. See also {PICO}, {ALVARADO}, {TAJUNGA}. SEEKER: There's a seeker born every minute! SFX: A standard radio term for "Sound Effects" man. {ROCKY ROCOCO} had to split his "half-a-key" with the SFX man. The tools used in SFX are often mixed up in FT plays with the real things they're supposed to imitate: see, eg, {CELLOPHANE}, {CORNSTARCH}. There are often SFX-reference jokes in FT, For example: NICK: [MUFFLED VOICE] Rocky Rococo, that sleazy weazle, how did he get in here? And... How do I make my voice do this? or: NANCY: [SLAPPING NOISE] Oh Nicky, Nick, Nick, Nick! Are you all right? NICK: [Coming To] Uhhh..Yes. NANCY: Then stop slapping me! SHOES: Shoes are ubiquitous in FT plays. "Shoes for industry!" "Don't take off your shoes!" (Porgie {TIREBITER} did), or if you're a {BOZO} you can inflate them. In the liner notes for the Bozo CD, Philip Austin says, "By now, any serious Firesign Theatre listener knows that 'taking off your shoes' serves us as an an anology for childhood itself and its attendant dreams of freedom." From the back page of the Variety Section of the Minneapolis Tribune, Oct. 28, 1993. An article written by Mike Harden, Scripps Howard News Service. Headline: FOR DECADES, SHE'S HELPED SUPPLY SHOES FOR DEAD It's about Alyce Maddox who's worked over forty years for Practical Burial Footwear, a company that makes special shoes for mortuaries to bury people in. Bottom of third column: "Shoes for the dead? Why bother?" Holy mudhead, mackerel! Life immitates art. SUGAR: A popular phrase in FT is "More Sugar!". We hear a voice yelling "More Sugar!" during Pastor Flashes' Hour of Reckoning, in the {DWARF} play, and mention is made of the "More Sugar Foundation" in the "Not Insane" album. SWELL: Swell {CHEESE}, which is put on Nick's Swell {PIZZA}. [T] --- TAJUNGA: Yet another mis-pronounced LA street name in {NICK DANGER}. Tujunga canyon is a bit north of Pasadena, and the FT used to perform there. TESLACLE'S DEVIANT: "Who goes in, must come out". This is a corollary to {FUDD'S LAW}, and is referred to in the {BOZO} play,and also in {HEMLOCK STONES}, Giant {RAT} of Sumatra play, where Stones chases the {ELECTRICIAN} into the bathroom, and continues to search, claiming, "what goes in must come out! Fudd's Law!" First enunciated by Tom Teslacle ( a reference to Nikolai Tesla) to Dick {BEDDOES}. See also {NANCY}. TIREBITER: The last name of George Leroy Tirebiter, anonther incarnation of P, the {EVERYMAN} in the FT's play {DWARF}. Also the name of the {YOLK}'S neighbors in the {NICK DANGER} video. The original George Tirebiter was a dog. In the liner notes for the Dwarf CD, Phil Austin writes: The dog, the immortal George Tirebiter, was the doughty unofficial mascot of USC (Univ. South. Calif.) athletic teams in earlier times, renowned for his devotion to attacking the spinning wheels of large American automobiles.... The five ages of George Leroy Tirebiter are these: -Tirebiter the Child, called Porge or Porgie. [###Porgie and Mudhead is verbal play on "Archie and Jughead"]. -Tirebiter the College Student, called George Tirebiter Camden N200-R. [###that's his last name] -Tirebiter the Soldier, called Lt. Tirebiter. -Tirebiter the Actor, Called Dave Casman. [###play on {OSSMAN}] -Tirebiter the Old Man, called George Leroy Tirebiter. It should also be mentioned that a sixth incarnation of Tirebiter, named George Matetsky, actually encounters his alter-ego {NICK DANGER}, an Early Bird Theatre presentation of a movie whose title starts with "Luck". TORTURING: "Not to be Torturing Me!" Said by HIDEO {GUMP}, Jr., who played {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. He was being tortured because "decision-making factor absent from brain", following a terrible brain- washing session in radio prison, at the hands of {BRADSHAW} ! TWO PLACES: "How Can You Be in Two Places At Once, when you're not Anywhere At All?" The record album containg the {EVERYMAN} story of {BABE}, and also the {NICK DANGER} episode, "Cut Em Off at the Past!" [U] --- UNDERHILL: Susan Underhill -- Another of {NANCY}'s last names. [V] --- VIOLET DUDLEY: An American ingenue in {HEMLOCK STONES}. [W] --- WALL OF SCIENCE: Another ride in the {FUTURE FAIR}, describing the evolution of the universe. "Man, woman, child, ALL are up against the WALL OF SCIENCE". Joes Hanes writes: ..an incisive parody of the 60's high school science films. The recounting of the history of life makes many allusions to real paleontology, e.g, "... sand dollar, which shrank to almost nothing at the bottom of the pool" refers to the fossil ancestors of all present day sand dollars, which apparently escaped a mass extinction by virtue of their extremely small size. " ... in the late Devouring period, fish became obnoxious" In the real late Devonian, fish became ubiquitous. WDTPBLHEITA: Why Does The Porridge Bird Lay His Eggs In The Air? This question was asked by the character P in {ITWABOTB}, first directly to the {PRESIDENT}, who broke, and then to {DOCTOR MEMORY},who became confused, and shut down the whole {FUTURE FAIR}. Dr. Memory kept getting the question wrong, for example: "White dust 'n' perished birds leaves its hex in the air?" Nooo. "Wise doves 'n' parish bards lazy leg in the Eire?" Nooo. "Wise-ass the poor-rich Barney laser's edge in the fair?" This question was posed to {EVERYMAN} by the Leprechauns, although {BOB BUNNY} reported that he found it written on the Great Wall of Mars. {BOB BUNNY} asked this question of {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr, during a segment of {YOUNG GUY}, Motor Detective. Young Guy promised to answer the question tomorrow! Reports also indicate that in the record "Eat or Be Eaten", Laura asks {PLAYER} the question at the end of the record, to which Player replies, "Aw, that's the old Leprechaun scam... that's EASY!" An FT fan writes: This is definitely a classical reference, which I've been racking my brains for, but can't remember. It seems to me that some Greek or Roman historian (Herodotus?) describes a bird which does indeed lay its eggs in the air, with the obvious unfortunate result... [X] --- [Y] --- YOLK: The poorest people in the country, depicted in {NICK DANGER} and the "Case of the Missing Yolks" video. They lived in {OXNARD}, and "Didn't have half of what the have-nots had!". YOUNG GUY: Another FT private detective. "Young Guy, Motor Detective", played by {HIDEO GUMP}, Jr. [Z] --- ZEPELLIN TUBE: A source of immense power, possessed by the Sumatran {RAT}s in an adventure of {HEMLOCK STONES}. ZENO'S PARADOX: A paradox devised by the Greek philosopher Zeno, which seems to prove that motion as such is impossible; Reason: Consider an arrow flying towards a target. Before it gets to the target it must first get halfway there, but before it gets to that point it must first get 1/4 the way there, but before that (etc..) Since an infinite number of things must be done first, the arrow could never get *anywhere*; ergo, motion is impossible. This paradox is referred to indirectly in the {TWO PLACES} album, where {BABE} falls asleep in his car, while the talking freeway signs read off: "Antelope Freeway, one mile" "Antelope Freeway, one half mile" "Antelope Freeway, one quarter mile" "Antelope Freeway, one eighth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one sixteenth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one thirtysecondth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one sixty-fourth mile" "Antelope Freeway, one one-hundred-and-twenty-eighth mile" ... ZIPS: As in "I'm hip like a zip, let's take a trip". One of the {FIVE LIFESTYLES OF MAN} according to the FT. {BOZO} is an acronym for "The Brotherhood Of Zips and Others".