Whatever does not fit anywhere else in this magazine goes in here. It is a catch-all for those things we just cannot identify. What will you find here from month to month? Ha! We'll never tell.
Of course...some of your own stuff could be in these pages. 'nuf said.
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OBAD DETECTIVE STORY #1:
Everybody Sent A Chapter Story
From: The Sounding Board BBS (516)661-2409
Sysop: Michael Trivisani Co-Sysop: Gerard Neuls
Written by Michael Trivisani, Joe Durante, Gerard Neuls & Francis Amato
From: FRANCIS AMATO
It was a cold night on a hot July. I held the dead bottle in my arms
and wondered where I was gonna get another three dollars for another one
when the door squeaked open and I had my answer.
It was a gal-yum dressed to kill and I was more than willing to die.
She said, "Mr. Fu, I need your help."
I stood up and she pointed and said "Not that way!"
I put Kermit away and sat back down.
"What do you want babe?," I snarled. "I got things to do."
She sniffed the air and looked at the pile of bottles alongside my desk.
" I can see, Mr. Fu.... My pet Zop is missing and I need your help."
Damn! Not another missing Zop case. Don't people realize you can't make
a pet out of a mass of dust-particles? Well, easy money. I'll waste some
days and a couple of hundred of her chits and then tell her the facts of
life.
"A note was left in her bag." she took it out and I read....
From: JOE DURANTE
I read" If you want to see your pet zop again you will leave 500,000 at
the ally near the Corner Deli"
She said"I don't have that kind of money!"
Mr. Fu told her he would use some fake money. But he will put some real
money on top so they wouldn't notice it.
When she went down to the corner she noticed a man in the ally way. She
was supposed to meet Mr. Fu at the deli but he never showed up.
So she dropped the suit case and found a note near the trash can. It
said leave the money hear and go to the Durante Hotel and go to room 112
and the knock. A man will give you your pet zop back.
So the Lady went back to the apartment. She knocked on the door but
there was no answer. She was framed.
She went back to Mr. Fu and found him dead on his desk. The criminals
must have found some way.
From: FRANCIS AMATO
As she looked down at the body slowly leaking that blood jelly on the
desk she heard, "Hello Babe. Have you met my former friend, Mr. Fu?"
She jumped and dropped the wallet she was taking out of Fu's pocket.
"Who.. whos there??" She quickly glanced around but saw no-one.
"It's me, baby. Don't you recognize the voice?"
"where are you!" she started to panic. She looked under the desk,
ripped the books out of the bookcase in case he was 2 inches tall, she
check the John & Jill. Nothing. "Where are you!" she cried. "Who
are you!"
"Up here, baby."
She looked up and saw one of those shades that have been a problem
since Mr.. Anderson spanked Billy Gray and opened up the Donna Reed rift
to an alternate universe.
As shades go, he wasn't too bad looking. Tho a bit on the transparent
side. She fixed her hair. Well, you never know.
"Recognize me?" asked the shade.
She put on her working eye and replied, "No."
The shade chuckled in that special way only someone w/out a voice
box can and said, "You ran me over in Vegas about two years ago."
She became defensive and straightened up, "I've never even been in
Vegas!" she insisted.
Th shade floated closer and stared at her. "I'm sorry. You're not
the gal-yum. All you living things look alike to me."
From: JOE DURANTE
Then the shade took a seat and said why are you here?"
She answered "Mr. Fu was helping me with something."
The shade replied "Well looks like Mr. Fu can't help nobody out right
now."
She told The Shade about her pet Zop and the people who wanted the
money.
He said "Well I really can't help you because I am really one of the bad
guys, I wouldn't help a good person."
As he floated away he said "Good luck and I'll see ya around"
From: MICHAEL TRIVISANI
As the shade started to go away she took out of here purse a Shade
sucker and loaded it with a holding tube. She aimed and opened up.....
the Shade didn't have a chance and in the squeeze of a finger the shade
what sucked in the holding tube. She removed the tube and quickly
locked the lid. She held the tube up to the light and said to the
Shade, "Your fly is open, please try and be more presentable." As she
put the tube into her purse she said to herself in a low voice. "I
wonder how to get him out of this tube....Ah yes....Miska will know what
to do."
She quickly shuffles off. She use to be a dealer at an all night poker
game.
From: FRANCIS AMATO
She quietly traveled to that part of town where even rats fear
to tread and knocked at a broken down door. A voice asked "What's
the Password?" She answered, "Mike has cats" and was let in.
Miska greeted her. He was 2 feet tall and a few feet around. He
patted his ample middle and asked if she had any snacks.
She said, "No time for that now, Miska. I have a shade in the
sucker and need to get it out."
"No problem," he replied in a voice that would have grated on
Micky Mouses's nerves. He took the tube, laid it on the floor and
jumped on it.
The shade chuckled & floated up to the ceiling and back
down, "Hey. Just kidding. I'm a good guy. Well, I'm a good
something. Guy just doesn't seem right any more." He
slowly drifted back & forth like cigarette smoke caught in
the gentle breath of a sleeping infant with hiccups. "Us shades have
quite a sense of humor... not much else we can do," he said
wistfully.
The shade continued, "What's your handle? I use to be
called Junior Gartan. I was an intergalactic private eye."
"I'm Diamond Demon Reese." A thought penetrated, "You
are... you were a private eye?" She fluttered her eyes and
said, "Oh, Mr. Gartan! Maybe you can help me find my zop?.
I'll pay you anything you want."
A minute went by while the shade just stared at her. He
sighed and said, "If only you offered a couple of years ago.
Now I can only watch." He paused and added, "Who's the giant?"
"That's Miska. He's the head of..."
From: MICHAEL TRIVISANI
" S I L E N C E ! ! " Shouted Miska in a funny high pitched voice.
"You fool...!" Miska pulled her by the knee away where nobody...ah,
thing could hear. He whispered..."Its a seeeeecret. You prommmmmised."
"Ok, ok.....let go of my knee!" she said. She turned quickly, looking
right into the Shades eyes. She put her hand into her bag and slowly
walked over to Mister Gartan. Her eyes as cold as ice, still moving
toward the shade she said...."Well, will you help me!?" "I don't know, I
don't know if I can....you're not going to us the SUCKER AGAIN!" "The
Sucker!" She said in a laughing voice. "That was just childs play!"
with that she took out......A FLASH LIGHT!! "NOOOOOO!!" "Turn it off,
turn it off. I'll do anything, anything, just TURN IT OFF!" Shouted
the shade. "Hear me well." She said holding the turned off flash like
flash light, pointed at the shade. "This is just a toy. If you cross
me......it's the FLOOD LIGHTS! Do you hear me!" "Yes, yes.." said the
shade. "I hear you." Miska was just standing under a shaded light in
the corner of the room, trying to make hand shadow figures on the wall.
Mister Gartan (the shade), looked at Miska playing with the wall,
said...."What is it you want me to do.."
From: JOE DURANTE
Miska is the head of The Vigilantes.
The shade said "Oh ok."
So Miska said he would get some guys together and go out looking for her
Zop. He called up the Justice Inc. It consisted of four awesomely powered
heros. They are law, order, enforcement and the leader Justice. They are
American soldiers turned into super powered humans from some kind of
radiation. They all have exceptional strength.
When The Justice Inc. arrived Miska said "Lets move, We will check out the
alleyway first and question some people"
From: MICHAEL TRIVISANI
Miska let the 4 Justice Inc. heros leave first. Before he follows, he
turns to Penny Trick, (that's her name) and says, "Why did you do that?
One minute you agree not to tell my secret and as soon as I turn away
making hand shadows on the wall you tell it." He shakes his head, puts
his hand in his pocket and says as he is closing the door, "I hope you
haven't endangered those 4 fools. They only THINK they have super
powers." Penny turns to the shade. "Did Miska say "THINK?" "I think
he said 'THINK'?" says the shade. Penny just turns and stare's at the
door, the flash light falls to the floor. "Penny?" "Oh, Penny?"
"PENNY!" Shout the shade. Penny slowly turns, looking right through the
shade. The shade continues..."What do you want me do to?"
From: FRANCIS AMATO
"Well for starters, stop calling me Penny. I'm Diamond
Demon Reese. Just because my parents burdened me w/ the name
Penny doesn't mean you you have to insult me by using it."
The shade sobbed, "You poor kid... being called Penny."
She tried to pat his back to comfort him, quickly
realized it was a mistake and said, "You should feel sorry for my
sister, Christmas."
"Why?"
"Our last name is Past." She took out a stink weed, lit a
match using the top of Miska's head and took a deep drag. Slowly
exhaling she said, "As far as what I want you to do, I need you
to follow those Super Heros the mighty brain, Mischa here, sent
and make sure they don't get into any trouble. We can't afford
anyone realizing we're after them."
Junior Gartan replied, "And what will you be doing while
I'm out in the cold mist getting a chill?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Miska & I are going to have a little
talk."
Miska groveled in a corner and whimpered for his mother
but she was playing bingo and hadn't brought her hearing aid.
From: JOE DURANTE
Meanwhile at the Corner Deli The Justice Inc. starts asking questions.
They found a little. A man name The Night Master steals pets and animal
to get money(he will steal anything really) They also found out The Night
Master comes around here every day or so to get coffee and stuff like
that. So the Justice Inc. Decided to wait around for a while to make
sure.........
From: MICHAEL TRIVISANI
The Shade, think it best to follow the instruction of the Babe and Miska
for now, head out of the apartment and travels in the shadows not to
attract attention to himself. He soon comes up to the corner deli and
observes what he sees. He hears one of the Justice people talking to
someone....can't make out who. The shade gets a little closer and hears
a name....The Night Master. "Of course!" The Shade says to himself.
The low life steals just about anything for money. He also over hears
that The Night Master will be coming back. So the Shade decides to lay
low in the shadows and watches the Justice people head back to the
apartment. "There must be more to this." The Shade says to himself.
"It just might be a set up or something."
From: JOE DURANTE
As the Justice Inc. was heading back to the apartment. A darkness fell
over order. He couldn't see and fell and got knocked out. Enforcement ran
back to the Deli and saw Night Master there with The Claw. Law came
running over while justice made sure order was alright. The claw grabbed
Enforcement with his monstrous claw and flung him into some trash cans.
Law flipped and jumped kicked The Claw. The Claw went through some glass
in the deli. Meanwhile Night Master headed off to the
apartment.................
From: GERARD NEULS
When Night Master got back to the apartment he found......
Nothing... The apartment was gone... The whole thing... There where
lights (Flashing), people (running) and smoke (everywhere)... The
flashing lights really bothered him though.
The firefighters seemed to come in droves. Though it didn't really
matter, there were more then a sufficient amount of them, and water. You
quite simply can't put out a building that is burning with napalm. Night
Master distinctly smelled the napalm. The odor stuck out like a smelly
thumb. He thought,"This is the work of a very sick mind." He also
thought all the firefighters just want to see what happened.
There was no sign of anything he expected to find. No shade, no girl,
and especially no Zop. "What should I do now," he wondered...
Wondered....
Wondered....
From: GERARD NEULS
Chapter II- Prelude to Zop.....
When the Zop woke up, she had a very bad headache... (If you knew how
big a Zop's head is you would understand the anguish the poor thing
felt.) It opened it's eyes and looked around. There were four people in
the room. She lay very still and only opened one eye, very slowly...
(Zops are also quite cunning.) Of the three men in the room, two were
wearing capes. The woman with jet black hair was dressed all in black.
The Zop thought it was in big trouble. It looked at the steal bars, they
looked very thick, too thick for even a Zop, to break. What to do it
thought.
The people were talking about the money the expected to get, considering
this was the only Zop on the planet earth, they did expect to get quite
a lot. They also seemed worried about how they were going to find a
buyer. They WOULD get alot of money from anyone that wanted a Zop, but
off hand none of them knew about Dr. Urlag's want of a Zop for his
experiment...
From: FRANCIS AMATO
In Dr. Urlags Abode.....
Dr. Urlag wondered for the second thousandth time where
he had placed his coffee cup. He purposely used a five-gallon
container to avoid just such problems but it didn't seem to have
any effect on his absentmindedness.
Tho wearing both his contact lens in one eye may not have
helped the situation.
He pushed a pile of old bills and lab notes off his
bench, and accidentally sat down on his 2nd favorite cat. The cat
forgave him. The good doctor gave him the remains of the
autopsies.
He glanced at his notes and picked his nose. His
experiment in Molecular Transformation was nearing a critical
stage. He needed a Zop and he needed one now!
But where was he to find one???
Just then, the doorbell rang. Mumbling a curse, he left
his lab and went to the front door.
It was the milkman with his daily delivery of Low Fat. He
didn't use milk in his coffee (mainly because he never could find
his cup) and it gave his cats the runs, but the milkman had a
daughter that Dr. Urlag was rather fond of. In a socially
acceptable way, of course. This is a G-rated story.
Taking the container, the doctor put it in the fridge
when he happened to notice with his doubly good eye, a picture on
the side of the milk carton. He read... "Have you seen this
Zop??".
Dr. Urlag felt his prayers had been answered.
There WAS one on earth and he know exactly who to ask
about its location....
From: GERARD NEULS
Dr. Urlag immediately phoned Dr. Flagg... He didn't like Flagg at all,
Flagg was quite an evil man, and besides he had once kicked the Dr.'s
first favorite cat. Which promptly died the next day of internal
bleeding.
Flagg answered the phone... Dr. Urlag said he was interested in
renting his findo gizmo... This was not the first time Dr. Urlag had
asked to borrow this device, he loses things quite frequently. Dr. Flagg
made it quite clear quite early on, that he could RENT it at any time.
Just as long as he picks it up personally and returns it personally. 50%
down in advance of course.
Flagg said,"When will you be over, what did you loose your coffee
again?"
Dr. Urlag merely said,"I'll be over in an hour", and hung up.
He gave his second favorite cat, really his first favorite since the
other had taken an extended cat nap, a bowl of milk, as he tried to
remember where he had left his coat...
"Ah, the freezer", he said....
From: JOE DURANTE
Then at Dr. Urlag thought to himself"Nightmaster is probably the one
with the Zop, he steels everything"
Quickly he got on the phone and called Night Master.
They made a deal and Nightmaster would be over in a short while.
Meanwhile at Justice HQ. Justice knew they needed help so he called on
the "Soundings Supremes!"
As he called Mike T. got on the phone and asked who it was?
Justice answered"It's me Justice"
Mike:Oh yeah whats up?
Justice:We need some help, We got got nightmaster, The Claw and Dr.
Ulrag and his mutant cats to deal with
Mike:Ok I will round up the men and get down there as fast as possible.
Mike could only get Joe Durante, Francis Amato and Mike Crispo at the
time the others were busy with another case.
They got down to the Justice HQ as fast as possible.......Continued
From: FRANCIS AMATO
The "Sounding Supremes" At Justice HQ
Justice: Mike T, I'm trying to talk to you. Mind getting that cats
rear end out of my face.
Mike T: But he likes you!
Justice: Yeah, well tell him I'm straight.
Joe, Mike & Mike T exchanged knowing looks. They sometimes
had their doubts.
Justice: Men we have some serious doo-doo going down. You know
Dr. Ulrag?
Joe and Mike exchanged knowing looks. They were constantly
practicing their knowing looks. Mike T. may have done the same
but he was busy biting his cats belly.
Joe rubbed his upper arm and said, "Yeah, the good doctor. I
still have the scar from the last time we met."
Mike leaned over to him and whispered, "It's the other arm, Joe."
Joe whispered his thanks, started rubbin the other arm and
repeated, "Yeah the good doctor. I still have the scar... it just
moves around a lot."
Mike T. mumbled something. Coughing up a fur ball he said, "and the
mutant cats are in on it too?"
Justice: Yes along NightMaster & the Claw.
Mike T. frowned... "Then I guess it means the fur is going to fly"
Justice: 'Fraid so. I really wish I didn't have to drag you in on
this, but its way out of my league. The faith of the entire world
is at stake. I need the best, so I need you. He nodded at the
four of them. Three nodded back.
Francis stood in a shadow near the back taking notes. None of
them noticed the strange smirk on his face....
From: FRANCIS AMATO
Francis turned his back to the band of SuperHeros and removed
a small brown box from his inside pocket.
He knew of the Zop but he did not care. He knew of The League
but he did not care. He know of the Evil Doctors but he did not care.
He knew of the mutant cats, considered them for a moment, ate a flea
off his jacket and decided he did not care. He knew of Diamond Demon
Reese but knew she did not care. He knew of the shade and cared even
less.
As his sweaty finger trembled over the bright blue button,
he remembered the words to one of his favorite Randy Newman ditties.
..."I just want you to hurt like I do... honest I do... honest I
do... honest I do."
As his finger stabbed downwards he thought things might have
turned out differently if Randy Newman had been a more positive type of
And so the story ends....
*************************************************
But what actually happened, you ask?
Well, the world exploded but it didn't make all that much of a
difference.
The Zop found himself blown across light centuries of space and landed,
gently in a mushmelon tree, back on his home planet where he was
promptly arrested for not having a green card.
The two Doctors were playing golf that day so they missed all the
excitement.
Diamond Demon Reese married the dead Mr. Fu and found him the perfect
husband. He made no demands, he kept his mouth shut and he didn't steal
the covers at night.
The Superheroes started getting a bit old for the job so they started
a novelty basketball team which never beat the Harlem Globetrotters.
The Mutant Cats started a R 'n B group , Scratch & The Howlers. They had
a minor hit with "Mucus On Its Mind"... an excerpt follows.... It was
born in a circus- to Agent Orange Infected Parents- It just lay around
all day- With Mucus On Its Mind.
Mike T. started a BBS. Joe Durante went to work for Marvel. Mike Crispo
opened an EST training center and Francis Amato was spanked by his wife.
And the shade... he was really the only one who suffered to any great
degree. He was born again but thats another, somewhat sadder, story.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>> THE END >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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IMPROVING DREAM RECALL
by
Dr. Deja Vu
Because dreaming occurs in the subconscious, they tend to be elusive
and seem to fade and dissolve soon after they are dreamt. It is
essential to be able to recapture a dream in the conscious mind
in order to work with the dream.
Here are some guidelines that can improve the recall of any dreamer,
even a dreamer who is convinced that he does not dream. By following
these simple rules you should notice an improvement in recall in
three to four weeks time.
1) Convince yourself that you do dream every night and that you can
improve your recall. Dispell any myths you might be holding onto that
suggest that you do not dream. You DO dream. During the average night's sleep, you dream approximately three to five times or once every 90 minutes.
2) Keep a dream journal (any type of paper or notebook that you
choose) and a reliable writing implement within easy reach of your bed.
3) At night, in bed and before falling asleep, repeat a phrase to
yourself such as "When I awaken in the morning I will remember one of my dreams."
4) Awaken to a gentle alarm. Waking up to radio or even soft music is enough distraction to impede recall. The words or melody of song may superimpose themselves on both your conscious and subconscious.
Being awakened by a person often involves conversation. No matter
how brief the verbal exchange, it can also hinder recall. The ideal
situation is to awaken spontaneously with no alarm, but this is not
always possible.
5) Immediately upon awakening, lie still and allow yourself to look
inward for any residual images or feelings. Say to yourself
"I remember one dream I had last night," even if you're not sure
that you do. You can also ask yourself "what was I just thinking?"
Focus inward on any image no matter how insignificant it might seem
to you at first. Even the vagueist sense or feeling can bring a
dream back to full recall. Minimize movement and stimulation. Do
not open your eyes or get out of bed. Do not do anything that might
dispell the mood of the dream.
6) Once you have attained some recall, slowly reach for your journal.
Write down ANYTHING that you recall no matter how small or bizarre
it may seem at first. You will be surprised to find how recording
the most minute of details can trigger further images. Use these
shards of the dream to pry loose any additional fragments of the
dream. (Tips on how to organize your dream journal are forthcoming.)
7) Train yourself to do this DAILY. It might mean setting your alarm
10 minutes earlier in the morning. That's okay. IT'S WORTH IT!!
TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR DREAM JOURNAL
Dr. Gayle Delany is the Founding President of the Association for the
Study of Dreams. She has a private practice in San Francisco devoted
exclusively to dream work and is a co-director of the Delaney & Flowers
Center for the Study of Dreams. She is the author of _Living Your Dreams_and _Breakthrough Dreaming_. Below is the format she uses for recording dreams as found in her book _Breakthrough Dreaming_.
"DATE. Be sure to remember to record the date of each entry.
"DAY NOTES. At night before going to sleep, recrd three or four lines
{describing what you did an dfelt that day, and pit a large bracket
{around your notes. Emphasize the emotional highlights of the day.
"TITLE OF DREAM. Leave a blank line between your day notes tnd the dream you record in the morning. After you have recorded your dream give it a simple title that willhelp you to remember the dream at a glance when you review your journal. Dream titles will be a great help to you when you study your dreams in a series and look for recurring themes.
"*INCUBATION QUESTIONS. If you are incubating a dream to help resolve
an issue in your waking life, write down the short, focused question
you will repeat to yourself as you fall asleep in order to target a
helpful dream.
"/THE DREAM. Write down every detail and feeling you can recall in the
time you have to record your dream. (
1Note from Dr. DV
0: don't worry about trying to get things in chronological order -- just get it on the paper!)
"^COMMENTARY. Use this space to record any thoughts or feelings you have in the last moment of the dream or immediately on awakening. Also write down any feelings or impressions you have about the dream as you awake.
Later you can use this space and additional pages to make notes . . . .
Include any comparisons you might like to draw with other dreams or with
waking-life experiences."
Using symbols such as * for INCUBATION QUESTIONS, / for
THE DREAM, and ^ for COMMENTARY can help you orgainze your journal.
Montague Ullman, MD and researcher Nancy Zimmerman suggest the following worksheet in their book _Working With Dreams_. While this is a handy tool for those trained in the field of dream work and dream study, it can be a bit much for the average dreamer.
Some other useful tidbits I've picked up from other sources:
1) It is important to record the dream as close to the time of
its occurance as possible. You may THINK you'll remember it
later, but you won't.
2) Don't try to 'clean up' a dream to make waking sense of it. Dreams
do not always follow the logic of the conscious mind.
3) Do not embellish on your dream. Record only what happened in the
dream, not what you think SHOULD have happened.
4) Do not try to gloss over or minimize aspects of your dream. ALL
details are relevant.
5) Do not give your dream an ending that it did not have. Write "Then
I woke up," at the end of the actual dream.
6) If you don't like writing, switch the notebook to a sketch pad and
draw or paint your dreams. Some people even use small tape recorders
for this.
7) Don't try to work with too many dreams. This can be very frustrating.
One dream per day is usually enough to satisfy most people. If you're
truly studying a dream, one per week can keep you plenty busy.
8) Develop a format in your journal that works best for you and be
flexable enough to modify it if you need to.
"Running down a dream that never would come to me. Working on a
mystery, going wherever it leads. I'm running down a dream."
-- Tom Petty --
NEXT TIME: Working With Your Dreams
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FACT OR FICTION?
By Del Freeman
The writing was so clear, so concise, I thought I must have
discovered what would surely be a new master. I hadn't seen such
writing since the heyday of F. Scott Fitzgerald or Hemmingway. My
fingers actually trembled as I composed the note to the author, a
San Francisco resident named Dale Barway, telling him I'd be
happy to include his short story in my next issue of Ruby's
Pearls, and hoping he hadn't already been accepted elsewhere.
The topic was a little gruesome, basically the confession of
one twin to another that he had committed a brutal murder for the
sheer fun of it. Still, we had originally formed the corporation
to publish our electronic magazine so that we could give new, and
different writers a forum. Barway was exactly the type writer we
wanted to feature in our magazine.
The we of Ruby's Pearls was my friend and co-author, Patsy
Sauls, and my husband, David Freeman, who had originally come up
with the idea of electronic publishing in response to the
constant complaints Patsy and I voiced at being unable to get our
fiction published. David and I had published a weekly newspaper
for a while and lost our shirts. Besides, it had been
excruciatingly tiring for only two participants. When Patsy and I
had discussed doing something in hard copy, the thought was just
overwhelming for me in light of my experience. Electronic
publishing was a whole other ballgame.
Once we formulated the idea, Patsy and I incorporated and
David came up with a cover for the magazine and a program to put
the series of stories together so that they would run as a unit.
We spent a lot of time investigating how many bulletin boards
would carry the magazine and joined some public information
systems so we could get wider distribution. The first issue had
just been published and we were putting together the second when
the submission came from Dale Barway. I had shown it to Patsy,
who was as enthusiastic as I was, and I waited impatiently for
Barway to write me back.
When I finally got an agreement from Barway, I hastily
included his story in our already compiled third issue, removing
one of my own to make room. Then I dismissed it from my mind. The
one thing about Ruby's Pearls was that while we gained agreement
to reproduce a story one-time, we made no claim to any of the
author's rights in the future. Even if someone reacted to the
story and wanted to hard-copy publish it, all we would do would
be put the potential publisher in touch with the author. I hoped
that would happen for Barway because he definitely had a strong
writing style and an undeniable talent. Some of the details in
his story raised the hackles on my neck and I hoped my readers
would feel the same way.
As it turned out, many of them did. One electronic message
in particular was so flattering that I copied it onto disk and
forwarded it to Barway for his files.
"I can actually feel the drizzle this author describes as he
stalks his unknown prey. His treatment of the raindrops as they
settle on and then slowly leach through his victim's hair, until
it is reminiscent of a recently-used ragmop was so adroit I could
see it; the hat falling into the gutter and being trampled
underfoot in the mudde puddle, it all had such a ring of truth. I
hope you will include more of his work in future issues," the
reader said, and I thought Barway would be happy to have such a
testimonial to his talent.
I received another disk in the mail responding to the
message I had copied to Barway. He was very pleased with the
letter and included another short story for my review. While it,
too, had the same compelling writing style, I found it too
similar to the first story for reproduction. I explained
tactfully that perhaps an in-depth look at the motivation of the
killer might be acceptable, but the recreation of another murder
simply would be too redundant for my readers, and returned the
disk.
Shortly after that, I got another disk from him containing
yet a third story of a random killing. I returned it too, with
the same advice. I began to suspect that I had misjudged the
writer. Barway had a definite talent for taking the reader along
on a killing spree, but it seemed that was all he was capable of.
I was rethinking my assessment of his ability when I got yet a
fourth disk along the same lines.
Again, I responded that the theme was too similar and
suggested he pursue another topic.
Now, normally I am busy writing articles for publication,
and editing and reading submissions for Ruby's Pearls, and we had
yet another publication in the works to feature science fiction
stories. Either the television or radio plays constantly while I
work, but I pay little attention to it. I wouldn't ordinarily
know what was happening in the world from one minute to the next
if David didn't keep me informed. You could have knocked me over
with a feather when I heard the report on the news.
They flashed a number at the bottom of the screen and I
quickly jotted it down, thankful that I kept a back-up copy of
every story submitted to Ruby's.
The disembodied voice that answered quickly put me through
to the official in charge when I told him the nature of my call.
"Was there a red beret involved?"
"Who is this?"
"Just tell me if there was a red beret involved and I'll
answer all your questions," I said.
"You know there was," the voice said, "and there's only one
person who knows that."
"You're wrong. Everybody who reads Ruby's Pearls knows it.
We just didn't know it was for real. I think you might want to
send someone to Florida to take a look at some stories that have
been submitted to me," I told the California detective. "I think
our fiction may just be your fact."
END
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Are you the author of a Shareware product? Public Domain? Freeware? Are you using a utility program that you just cannot live without? Have you written or read a good book lately? Heard the greatest album?
This is the place to let us know about it! Either send us the file for review, or send us the review for publication here, and in our Macintosh and DOS ANSI version of ModemNews Magazine.
Setup: Nautilus CD-ROM Magazine comes with its own install
program that puts the new v1.5 Toolbook Runtime module
onto your hard disk (the same is needed to run the new
ModemNews for Windows). Even with this the control files
will take up about a meg and a half of hard drive space,
nothing compared to the 400 or so meg that come on the CD.
Ease of Use: Click here, click there and if you've got MME for Windows
v1.0, and a midi compatible sound card, you get hi-res
graphics and sound. Very nice.
Features: Without sounding too much like an ad for Metatec, Nautilus
has it all. The sampler disk contains clips from Windham Hill
recordings with graphics to match. It has DOS Shareware
and sample applications. The demo came with some pretty neat
Demos from mainstream software publishers. The best was from
Ami Pro. Worth the price of the demo disk alone!
Okay, so you've got 400 meg of disk space to play with! What
you can't do is get bored. There is so much for every taste,
every user and at every level. Like music? Play! Like games?
Play some more. Like to see what's new out there on CD-ROM?
Check out the CD-ROM directory.
You want interviews? they got 'em. You want commentary? hey,
ModemNews isn't the only place. Nautilus has its share.
Our very favorite feature about this hot new magazine is its
automatic communication feature called "Link". From nearly
anywhere in the magazine you can stop to write a note to
the Nautilus team, and at the end of your reading session
the magazine will take you automatically into the "Link"
function, call Metatec and upload your messages. Nice. Frankly,
we at ModemNews are jealous!
Drawbacks: The major drawback to Nautilus Magazine is not the price,
It is the limited availablity of the necessary drivers for
Windows Multi-Media, but this should be taken care of under Windows 3.1 when it is released on April 6th. Still, you will need a good quality sound card and a Midi connection to get the full benefits of what Nautilus has to offer.
Some time ago we bought a Sony CD-ROM player that did not
come with Multi Media Extensions for Windows, and our
Ad-Lib card was too old. Microsoft will not distribute the
extensions, Sony will sometime in the future, and the Ad-Lib
card must first go through an upgrade. So we have this great
"toy" yet we can only appreciate a small part of it.
Once Windows 3.1 is released and Ad-Lib gets our new card
we will go back to enjoy what we missed of Nautilus the
first time around. We can't wait!
Our hats are off to Metatec for the Nautilus concept. We
would certainly like to think they got the idea from us,
but not this time. Nautilus is an original, and it's good.:
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NEWS IN YER FACE
A little more from Randall Ainsworth...
Those viewing early releases of OS/2 2.0 are less than
enthusiastic. According to one viewer, "It's slow and it crashes.
In fact, it's a lot like Windows."
---------------
Sierra On-line continues to have a number of projects in the
works. Look for King's Quest VI sometime within the next few
months. Aces Over the Pacific and Space Quest V (with Mark Crowe,
minus Scott Murphy) are also being planned. Al Lowe is working on
a comedy western adventure along the lines of Blazing Saddles
having something to do with Palamino Ranch, and work continues on
expanding The Sierra Network.
---------------
I hear that a major software retailer is seriously considering
dropping 5.25" disk format products from their shelves due to slow
sales.
---------------
Microsoft is investigating a number of companies for
counterfeiting and gray marketing of DOS 5 and Windows 3.
Apparently there is a severe problem (according to Microsoft) with
people pirating and gray marketing DOS 5.
---------------
Here's a WordPerfect for Windows tip:
To select text quickly: 1) click two times on a word to select the
word, 2) three times to select an entire paragraph, 3) hold the
Shift key and click three times to select from the current word to
the end of the paragraph, or 4) click once at a start point, press
the Shift key, then click at another point to select text between
the two points.
---------------
I've recently had the opportunity to look at 1-2-3 for Windows
Release 1.0a (the bug fix). Same crap, different bucket.
---------------
Knozall Systems has a program called FileWizard which examines
files on a hard disk and lets you know which ones have gone
untouched the longest.
---------------
AT&T is expected to soon unveil a new low-power RISC-like
processor which will give a performance shot in the arm to small-
form-factor computers. Nicknamed the "Hobbit", it is rumored to be
planned for use by GO Corp. and their PenPoint operating system
later this year. This revelation from AT&T is expected sometime
after March.
---------------
I'm still hearing of problems with DR-DOS 6. I haven't tried
the product, so I can't speak from experience. I've heard of
problems running with Windows. Apparently the trouble is with
Setup: Extract the file into a Subdirectory set up for Speed
Reader, usually \SPEED. Then just type SR and you are
on your way. Remember that this program need to be able
to find PKZIP and PKUNZIP in the path.
Ease of Use: Speed took us a little while to get up to running
speed. There are a few features that took some getting used
to that were different than in our old mail reader, and at
ModemNews we get a lot of mail
Once you get running, F1 will always bring help and the
"/" key will bring you a shorter help screen.
Features: Speed will use its own internal editor, or your favorite
text editor. If your text editor can handle two files at
the same time, all the better. Speed copies the original message into a file called $reply and presents that to you for editing.
Speed Reader will set up "picklists" for most of the commonly
used functions in a mail reader such as taglines, saved file
names, address etc.
Speed can also maintain a library of your past messages and
replies. Up to 150 of each can be saved and refered to at a
later time.
One of our favorite features is the ability to 'steal'
taglines from messages you are reading. Where else could
you find, "Bush is a dope, Marajuana is a weed". Worth stealing
anytime.
Drawbacks: One of the things we did not like about Speed was that when
answering a message the program gives you a choice of either
quoting the entire message or none of it at all. We like how
other mail readers will bring both the message AND your reply
into the editor, so that you can cut and paste between them.
We have worked around this feature in Speed with no problems at
all.
We also would like to know why the author chose to use the
"tab" key to enter the editor when the "return" or "enter" keys
would make so much more sense. This feature took quite some time
to get used to, and we still muff it from time to time.
Summary: There is not much difference between QWK compatible offline
mail readers. They must all provide the same basic
functionality. Speed is better than some, but does not stand out
in any one feature or functionality as an offline mail reader.
We like the ability to store and recover old messages, and we also
like how Speed reader saves itself frequently so that in case of
lock up or power failure your mail session is safe.
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|5<6$9$9$9
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NewsStand News
@232April 1992
rev 1.54
ModemNews Magazine
c/o The GreenBird Group
116 Dean Street
Suite B
Stamford, Connecticut 06902-6251
203 359.2299 BBS (2400-9600)
203 969.1183 Voice (7-9 PM EST)
[ModemNews can be reached via our RelayNet Conference]
Jeff Green, Publisher
Chris Bird, Macintosh Editor
Bob Olafson, DOS Programmer
Roger Bacon, Associate Editor
Copyright
1992 The GreenBird Group
Dear Sysops,
NOTE: This document is for the use of Sysops who presently distribute
ModemNews Magazine, OR for those sysops who may in the future consider
doing so. Please direct any questions to the numbers above.
If you already have a copy of ModemNews in your file base, or you are
offering it for online viewing please note that NO permission is needed
for either, however, the magazine may not be altered in any way except
for when used for online viewing. (See the note at the end of this
document for more information.)
As you may already know, ModemNews Magazine has grown into an
international electronic publication, and has grown this way due to the
hard work of many Sysops and BBS users across North America.
ModemNews started out as a local DOS based BBS news magazine. As our
issues were uploaded around the BBS circuit it began to spread far from
the original area for which it was intended. All for the better. As of
this writing we are presently in more than seventy major markets, and
can be found on some of the many NetWorks that link BBS's around the
country.
This is just the beginning. As we grow, so will the BBS community. The
thousands of BBS users across North America will be able to find a
common voice within the pages of ModemNews Magazine.
ModemNews Magazine is not a technically oriented publication. Rather
it is more like a `Readers Digest' of the electronic medium. In our
pages your users will be able to find all manner of interesting
information. From recipes to jokes, from technical papers to News and
Views about the computer and BBS industry. These pages can be used as a
focal point for BBS users from all over to exchange information and
ideas on just about, well, anything! That's the beauty and intent of
ModemNews.
ModemNews Magazine is distributed through a Network of NewsStands that
will make it possible for any reader to obtain a copy of the magazine
on a BBS near to their home. Each week we are adding more NewsStands to
the ranks. This document will tell you how you may join this constantly
growing number of ModemNews NewsStands.
Below, we hope to clearly delineate a distribution policy for ModemNews
that will be fair to all Sysops and readers alike. In addition, you
will find out how to be listed in our pages as a ModemNews NewsStand.
The advantages to your board are many and the demands on you are very
few. Just a few minutes of your time to get set up, and a few minutes
more once each month to post the newest issue of the magazine. More
about that later.
Publication Schedule for ModemNews Magazine
-------------------------------------------
ModemNews will be published once each month (except for July and
August).
Deadline date for entries is the 15th, and release date of each new
issue will be on the first of the month.
Information from you, your users, or from your board that is received
by the specified date will, if space permits, be published in the
immediate issue. If space is not available, the information will be
posted in the very next issue in turn.
You or your users may submit anything you or they feel should be
published in an issue of ModemNews. We are particularly looking for the
following;
NOTE: Numbers in parentheses denote the 'rough' maximum Kilobyte limit.
1) Interesting message threads from your board about most any topic.(10K)
2) General Purpose technical papers and articles.(15K)
3) General articles concerning the computer/BBS industries.(15K)
4) Editorial comments and replies.(5K)
5) Feature articles and stories.(15K)
6) ANSI and/or MacPaint artwork.(15K)
Do not limit yourself to the above list. We are open to all
suggestions. It should be remembered that this magazine is wholly
dependant upon user submissions for it's content. You are encouraged to
submit a profile of your particular BBS as well as an ANSI/TEXT/or
MacPaint ad which will be displayed in the magazine once your BBS has
been approved as a ModemNews NewsStand.
Your BBS ad will be seen by readers from coast to coast and be one of
only 10 that will be published within each issue!
[The above option is available ONLY to BBS systems that are FREE to the
general public, and are officially recognized NewsStands]
If general access to your system is limited to paying members, you
may then purchase commercial ad space in the magazine. (see AD.DOC
included with this package)
How to become an Official ModemNews NewsStand.
---------------------------------------------
BEFORE YOU CONTACT MODEMNEWS YOU MUST HAVE COMPLIED WITH THE SET UP LISTED IN THIS DOCUMENT. DO NOT CALL US BEFORE YOUR SYSTEM IS READY. YOUR BBS WILL BE CHECKED BY ONE OF OUR STAFF. (usually within 14 days.)
ModemNews reaches it's readership through 'FREE' distribution. No fee
or penalty may be levied for a download of ModemNews. This does not
imply `free' downloads from your board. Upload/Download ratios on your
board are exempt, though some boards allow ModemNews to be accessed
without affecting user U/D ratios. If your board has commercial or paid
access lines, ModemNews must be able to be accessed through the public
lines on a callers FIRST or, at the least, his second call after they
have completed your verification process if you have one.
A new user MUST however be able to see on his FIRST call that he has
reached a ModemNews NewsStand.
In order for you to be an official NewsStand several things must be done.
Sysops requesting NewsStand status from ModemNews Magazine should be
at least 18 years of age and be operators of established Bulletin Board
Systems.
NewsStand status will NOT be granted to BBS's that encourage or engage
in the following activities;
Phreaking
Pirating
Virus development or distribution
Have more than 25% X-rated GIFS unless it is specifically an Adult access BBS
If an existing NewsStand is found to be actively engaged in any of
these activities they will be immediately dismissed, and local Law
Enforcement Agencies will be notified. There will be no exceptions.
A notice MUST be placed on the front end of your system notifying callers
that you are indeed a ModemNews NewsStand. This is a MUST and will be
strictly enforced.
1) Create and maintain a download FILE area for ModemNews that will
contain at least the immediate issue, as well as the past two issues of
the magazine. There is no need to keep the entire collection of
magazines in your database. This file area may be "shared" with other
`magazines' or files as long as the file menu clearly states the words
ModemNews.
2) Try to get your users involved. This is for THEM and BY them.
Advertise the magazine, request your users to upload their works, and
contribute yourselves by sending us a Profile of your BBS (roughly
5-10K in size). You may also send us interesting message threads from
your system. Anything that may allow other readers to get a feel for
your particular BBS system and inform our readers.
3) You MUST contact ModemNews EXPRESS! (203) 359.2299 and request
listing in the magazine and leave a message to the Sysop requesting
such be done. (You might also upload at this time any ads or BBS
profiles.)
Notify the Sysop what action has been taken on your part and be sure to
include your boards name and number.
While online you should fill out questionnaire #3 at ModemNews EXPRESS!.
If you do not answer honestly, your request will be disregarded. There
will be no exceptions and you will not be able to reapply with us for
at least one calendar year. Your system will be checked and screened
BEFORE you are granted NewsStand status. If your System has not been
set up properly to receive ModemNews when one of our staff calls to
check, your request for NewsStand status will not be granted.
4) You MUST pick up your NEXT issue of ModemNews from the ModemNews
Central Library at ModemNews EXPRESS!. Thereafter we will find an
alternate (read:less expensive) method for you to obtain your newest
issues, including automatic transfer via RelayNet if you carry the
ModemNews conference.
We will try to make it possible for you to obtain your copies from
another NewsStand in your area or through a NET system in your area. If
you CAN already do this, please phone us and let us know. This will
help speed up the distribution of the magazine and keep a good deal of
your money out of the pockets of our favorite phone companies.
5) In MOST cases submissions from your readers or from yourselves
should be sent to ModemNews OnLine as soon as they are received.
6) The magazine may NOT be altered in anyway when posted in your
ModemNews file area. It must be posted EXACTLY as received. This also
holds true for the archived version.
7) Your system will be checked by our staff from time to time. If it
has been found that you have violated our agreement, you will be deleted
from our NewsStand listing, and a note will be posted in the magazine
stating why this was done.
8) We REQUIRE that you contact ModemNews EXPRESS! least once in every
30 (thirty) day period so that we know you are still with us, and
operating in accordance with our requests. A call like this need only
last one or two minutes. At ModemNews EXPRESS! you will find important
information for you updated frequently, as well as the current issues.
(You need not get your issues from us after the first, you may get them
from your nearest local NewsStand if that is available to you. A
message left to us in the ModemNews conference on RIME (RelayNet) will
suffice.
[addendum 12/01/91]
Any NewsStand that we do not hear from within this time period will be
placed on suspension for a period of 15 days, and notice made in the
Magazine as well in the ModemNews conference on RelayNet. We will at
this time make an attempt to notify them of this by direct contact to
their BBS. If at the end of this 15 day period we still have not heard
from the NewsStand they will be dropped fom the listings in the next
immediate issue.
In these few paragraphs I hope that I have answered the many questions
I am sure you will have. I have tried to make this process as simple as
is possible, and feel confident that this has been done.
If you have any suggestions for us or further questions PLEASE call us
at ModemNews EXPRESS! at anytime. You will usually receive a response
within 48 hours. The more exact information you leave us, the better we
can answer your questions, or deal with your requests.
Note for DOS systems....
------------------------
When ModemNews is offered for online viewing on your system, Sysops are
ENCOURAGED to use the /0 <--- that's a ZERO option that will allow a
caller to go directly to PageOne, and upon exiting go directly to the
last page. The magazine may NOT be altered in any other way without the
express permission of the editor. This will be a blessing to those who
log onto your boards at 1200, and a miracle for those who are still
crawling along at 300.
My lawyer made me include the following.........
Shareware Notice:
This file is NOT Freeware. It is Shareware in an interesting form.
If you continue to read ModemNews Magazine for any length of time (at least
three issues) we would expect you to register your support with a donation
of your choosing.
The official NewsStand price for a copy of ModemNews Magazine is $3.00
(three dollars), but please note, no SysOp or person, or BBS service of
any kind may charge for a download of any issue of the magazine. This
also includes disk copying services and Shareware distribution services
without prior written permission from the staff of ModemNews. This
also extends itself to commercial online services such as CompuServe,
America OnLine, Prodigy and GEnie
Only the officers of ModemNews Magazine may collect your registration
fees. Officers of ModemNews Magazine can be found at ModemNews
EXPRESS!. If you should need further information, your local NewsStand
SysOp should be able, and will be more than happy to help you.
You may send your registration fees to:
ModemNews Magazine
c/o The GreenBird Group
116 Dean Street Suite B
Stamford, CT 06902-6251
Voice 203 969.1183
BBS 203 359.2299
Please make your checks payable to: Jeff Green
[eof]
standpop
Are you interested in becoming a ModemNews Magazine NewsStand? This area will give you all the information you will need to do so. Join us........................... join us!
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Resident Scribe Zerro
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The Three Princesses
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Come along and laugh with us!
This is the area we set aside for some fun each month. You'll laugh right along with our favorite resident scribe - Zerro, with the irreverent Del Freeman and others. Of course, as with every other area of ModemNews YOUR submissions are important to us. So if you would like to have your 15 minutes of fame (sorry, no cash or money orders)...
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The *OFFICIAL* Dan Quayle Joke Book!
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! S M I L E !
It Will Make The World Wonder What You Have Been Doing!
Truly, you are a person who speaks the truth, lives the truth, abides by the truth. And truth is, of course, stranger than fiction, and you certainly are too.
It's OK to wait for your ship to come in, provided of course, that it was sent out in the first place.
Tyrants have yet to discover that chain, that cable, that will fetter the mind. Nothing is stronger than than an idea whose time has come.
If your lead pencil is less than three inches long, and still equipped with a virgin eraser, you are about as close to perfection as this world will allow you to be.
The longer the deliberation, the stronger the possibility of error in the decision.
Often enough, what it takes to maintain one vice is enough money to raise two children.
There are two real incentives toward reducing your weight during the summer season. One is a swim suit that all too easily shows where the bulges are that should't be, and the other is that lawn chair that gets up when you do, and goes with you!
Always and in every instance, someone can be found to disagree with whatever decision you make.
Why should I be the one to do it?
Why should it be done at all?
Why should it be done now?
Why should it be done this way?
Power tends to corrupt and absolute power?
Hey, absolute power ain't all bad!
What you can not enforce, do not command.
Interestingly enough, there are many kids who just can't seem to get their multiplication tables down, some of whom can't even add, for that matter. But ask them a phone number, and whammo, you've got the whole thing instantly.
If you are in command and do it wisely, your subjects will obey you with good cheer. There is nothing more a fine gift than the ability to guide others in a peaceful way while all enjoy the excursion.
You don't have a good idea of what a dog's life is like, until you have had to clean up after one.
Say what you want about President Richard Nixon. How many people do you know who could get elected President when no one voted for them. Ever run in to anyone who admitted voting for Richard Nixon?
If you are a terror to many people, than you must beware of at least that many and lots more. For you will find that the underdog has friends and these tend to multiply.
A real bully is always a coward, for their lurks in such a person the fear of finding someone even worse than himself at what he is doing.
Are condoms adequate protection? Nope, you'll also have to have fire and casualty, even if you don't drive.
It is easier to spout wisdom and appear wise, after the event.
Inasmuch as you will never be able to do what you wish, it is better to be able to wish what you do.
Think much, speak little and write less. However, if you are going to write, it is well to write what you think people think you think rather than what you think, because people have no idea what you think, and likely as not, are uninterested. Seldom say what you mean and seldom mean what you say, thus adding to the whole affair. One thing can be done by writing that can't be done in any other way, and that is that you can write yourself right out of your reputation when you write.
In youth, if we are lucky, we learn. In age, if we are wise, we understand.
Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. When you are not growing, you are dying. Growth is the only real sign of life.
To be furious in religion is to be irreligiously religious.
The world is divided into those who actively do things and those who get the credit for doing things.
Usually, when we seek advice, what we are really searching for is a nice accomplice.
Everyone sets out to do something, and everyone does something, but not everyone does what they set out to do.
The death of our country will not come from an outside attack. No, if it comes, it will be slow, and from indifference, apathy and undernourishment.
A man does not attain wisdom until he starts to realize that he is not indispensible.
Property Guarded by An Attack Dog Department: You heard it here, first!
Griggsville police were called to the Shell station to remove a minature female chichuahua for behaving in a "disorderly manner," by refusing to allow patrons of the station into the men's toilet. It was surely a frightening time for police, I am sure, since these animals have been known to kill flies.
British condom makers have developed a model that glows in the dark. It can be recharged simply by putting it in the light of a table lamp for several hours. I say if a condom wants to read at night, it ought right well to supply it's own electricity.
There are things worse than a public speaker with a three word thought, a three minute vocabulary and a three hour speech, but I have not been able to think of any over the last three days.
A tourist leaves Bogolusa on his way to Opalousa, and is quite confused about the names of the various cities through which he passes. Stopping at long last for a late lunch, he enters a fast food chain restaurant. After he places his order, he says to the clerk "I say, how do you spell the name of this place I am in?" Slowly, the clerk behind the counter starts. "B-U-R-G-E-R K-I-N-G," comes the response.
When your work speaks for itself, it is very wise to remain silent and not interrupt!
Many are they who do more than they think they can do and far less than they thought they did. The real problem is that few folks come anywhere near exhausting the potentials that the Creator has given to them. There are deep wells of strength and capacities that are never even so much as touched.
Never make an impromptu speech without advance warning, otherwise what you say isn't worth the paper it is printed on and will not be remembered or quoted. When Lincoln went to Gettysburg, he had 16 xeroxed copies of his envelope, to make sure the talk got press coverage.
One of the stronger reasons for being disorganized is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. One of the things you discover, for example, is that God hides things simply by putting them near us.
Most of my major discoveries can be filed from A to C, Accident to Chance. It is amazing what you can find, when you are actually looking for something else.
Sometimes it is well, when seeking good order, to recall that even at times paralysis appears to be
order.
Tyranny is always better organized. The John Birch Society had a much finer organization than ever happened with the ACLU.
All generalizations are dangerous, perhaps even this one. There are exceptions to the rule, but this does not appear to be one of them.
It is not possible to found lasting power or treachery, purjery and dishonesty.
The leader must know.
The leader must know that he knows.
The leader must let everyone else know that he knows.
The leader must make sure that there is no question that he knows.
Rules Dyslexia - K.O.?
There are some people that, if they don't know, you can't tell them.
You can tell a teacher as far as you can see one, but you can't tell them much.
The man has a photographic mind suffering from chronic and severe underdevelopment.
If you believe everything you read, it would be better for you to have been born perpetually illiterate.
Reading without thinking is like eating without going to the toilet. Eventually, something backs up, and it is not good.
The human brain starts to work the moment you are born and never stops until you get up in public to explain why you voted the way you voted, or what is worse and takes longer, why you did not vote.
There are lots of folks who seem well enough able to rise to a situation, but some damn fools can never sit down at the right time.'
Why doesn't the speaker who admits that "As a public speaker, I'm not very good," simply sit down after that, rather than give us a lengthy and tedious demonstration.
When speaking, remember these things. Third, be sincere. Second, be brief. First of all, and most important, be seated - quickly.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ated - quickly.
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Okay. We're going to do it, though we have held this off for quite some time.
We present to you the following, tounge in check (pardon the pun).
* We are not responsable for any injuries this may cause you, your families or any resident of the United States, Canada, Zaire, or Argentina.
The *OFFICIAL* Dan Quayle Joke Book!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To join the National Guard.
Q: Did you hear there's already been an assassination attempt on George Bush?
A: He didn't get hurt, but the Secret Service got Quayle five times.
Chairman of George Bush's inauguration committee: "So, Mr. President
Elect, after the inauguration, do you want to ride in the limousine with
the bubble top?"
George: "No, let Dan Quayle take another car."
Q: How will Bush handle the deficit?
A: Quayle Bonds -- no interest, no maturity.
Q: What were Dan Quayle's three hardest years?
A: Second grade.
Q: How did Dan Quayle get into law school?
A: The application asked "Handicapped?" and he wrote down "two strokes."
Q: How is Dan Quayle like Millard Fillmore?
A: Both are vice presidents who didn't live in this century.
Q: What do you get if you cross Dan Quayle with Richard Nixon?
A: A public official who doesn't know if he is a crook or not...
Q: Why wasn't Dan Quayle class president in kindergarten?
A: He used his uncle's influence to get out of the sandbox
Q: What was the name of the great Stanley Kubrick war movie about Dan Quayle's
military career?
A: "Full Dinner Jacket"
George Bush has announced that his vice president's first official
assignment will be to travel to Lebanon to get firsthand information on
the hostage situation.
Dan Quayle is so dumb, he thinks that Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
Vice President Quayle: the looks to get a woman pregnant and the politics
to keep her that way.
Q: What's the difference between Jane Fonda and Dan Quayle?
A: Jane went to Vietnam.
Q: What did Marilyn Quayle say to her husband immediately after sex?
A: "You really are no Jack Kennedy."
"The Secret Service is under order that if Bush is shot, to shoot
Quayle." - Senator John Kerry
From "Night Court" (Wednesday, November 23rd, 1988):
Judge Stone: [After hearing of a harrowing escape including
falling from a hot-air balloon, boucing off an awning, riding on
the top of a bus, flying into a pile of fruit, and living to
tell about it!] "You must be the luckiest man alive!"
Reply: "No, Dan Quayle is!"
Q: What do you see in one of Vice President Quayle's ears when you shine a
flashlight in the other?
A: A thousand points of light
A New York nightclub has designated Tuesday nights "Quayle Night." You
get in free if your parents call and make reservations.
It's not true that Pat Robertson and Dan Quayle passed the time on
election eve swapping war stories.
Dan Quayle: "A lot of people don't understand service in the National
Guard. Basically you just spend years sort of sitting around waiting
for something to happen. I think that's perfect training for the vice
presidency."
Quayle: too inexperienced for a do-nothing job.
Q: What did Dan Quayle have that Lloyd Bentsen didn't?
A: A blow-drier and a pulse.
he question of the 1990's: Is it better to have a Quayle in your gland
or two in your Bush?
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THE THREE PRINCESSES IN THE MOUNTAIN-IN-THE-BLUE
fourth part of seven
Sent to us by Steven LeBlanc
(originally composed by Inge Vabekk)
The Troll agreed right away, and it wasn't long before he was so sound
asleep that he snored. When she saw that he had fallen asleep, she
propped up his heads with chairs and quilts, and started calling the
hens. Then the soldier tip-toed in with the sword, and cut off all
three of the Troll's heads with a single blow.
The princess was as merry as a fiddle, and went along with him to her
sisters so that he could rescue them from the mountain too. First they
crossed a courtyard, and then passed through many great halls until
they came to a huge door.
"This is where you must go in," said the princess. "Here it is."
When he opened the door, he saw a great hall, and everything inside
was og the finest silver. There sat the middle sister spinning on a
silver spinning wheel.
"Oh, save you!" she said. "What do you want here?"
"To rescue you from the Troll," said the soldier.
"My good fellow, begone!" said the princess. "If he finds you here,
he'll take your life on the spot!"
"That's too bad - but suppose I take *his* first!" said the soldier.
"Well, if you really *want* to," she said, "then you must crawl behind
the big vat out in the hall. But you must hurry and come as soon as you
hear me calling the hens."
But first he had to see if he were strong enough to swing the Troll-
sword which lay on the table. It was much bigger and heavier than the
first one, and it was all he could do to budge it. So he took three
swigs from the horn, and then he was able to lift it. And when he had
taken three more, he could brandish it as though it were a pancake
turner.
After a short while there was a terrible rumbling and crashing, and
immediately after, in came a Troll with six heads!
"Fie! Fie!" he said, as soon as he had put his noses inside the door.
"I smell the blood and bones of a Christian in my house!"
"Yes, just fancy, a little while ago a raven came flying past with a
thighbone, and dropped it down the chimney!" said the king's daughter.
"I threw it out, and the raven dropped it down the chimney again. At
last I got rid of it, and hurried to smoke the smell out, but it still
seems to be lingering," she said.
"I can smell it, all right!" said the Troll.
But he was tired, so he laid his heads in the princess's lap, and she
stroked them until all the heads were snoring. Then she called in the
hens, and the soldier came and chopped off all six heads as though they
were growing on cabbage stalks.
She was no less happy than her sister, as you can imagine; but in the
midst of their dancing and singing they remembered their youngest
sister, and so they led the soldier across one more large courtyard and
through a great many rooms, until he came to the third princess in the
golden hall.
"She was sitting, spinning golden yarn on a golden spinning wheel, and
from floor to ceiling the room glittered so that it hurt to look at it.
"Preserve and help both you and me!" said the princess who was sitting
there. "Go! Go! Or else he'll kill us both!"
"Just as well two as one," said the soldier.
The princess wept and pleaded, but it was not the slightest use. He
had made up his mind to stay, and that was that! As there was no other
way out, she told him to try the Troll-sword out on the table in the
hall. But he could only just budge it - it was even bigger and heavier
than the other two. So he had to take down the drinking-horn from the
wall, and take three swigs from it. But even then he could only just
lift the sword. When he had taken three more strength-giving swigs, he
swung it as easily as a feather. Then she made the same plan with the
soldier as her two sisters had made: when the Troll had fallen fast
asleep, she would call in the hens, and then he must come quickly and
do away with him.
All at once there was a booming an a shaking as though the walls and
ceiling were about to fall down.
"Fie! Fie! I smell the blood and bones of a Christian in my house!"
said the Troll, sniffing the air with all his nine noses.
"Yes, would you believe it! Just now a raven flew past and dropped a
man's bone down the chimney. I threw it out, and the raven threw it in,
and back and forth it went," said the princess. But in the end she had
buried it, she said, and had aired the room thoroughly, but a little of
the odor still lingered.
"I can smell it, all right!" said the Troll.
"Come here and lay your heads in my lap," said the princess. "Then
it'll probably be better after you've had a nap."
He did just as she said, and when he was snoring like a beast, she
propped up the heads with benches and quilts so that she could get
away, and started calling the hens. Then the soldier tiptoed in his
stockinged feet, and struck out at the Troll so that eight heads flew
off at the same time - the sword was too short and didn't reach any
farther.
The ninth head woke up and started roaring, "Fie! Fie! I smell a
Christian here!"
"Yes, and here *is* the Christian!" replied the soldier, and before
the Troll could get up and grab hold of him, the soldier gave one more
blow so that the last head rolled off.
The ninth head woke up and started roaring, "Fie! Fie! I smell a
Christian here!"
"Yes, and here *is* the Christian!" replied the soldier, and before
the Troll could get up and grab hold of him, the soldier gave one more
blow so that the last head rolled off.
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Comments from readers....
Keeping Rights, Ending Crime
(c) 1989 by Stuart J. Whitmore
The First Amendment was "formulated to protect political rights and
not the rights of corporate executives to make money by exploiting
sexually violent pornography" (11), or so state groups that believe
pornography should be banned by law. This is clearly a matter of
interpretation, as a quick perusal of the document in question reveals
no explicit exclusion of pornography from the protection the amendment
provides. In fact, the First Amendment is worded quite generally, and
the various interpretations have generated numerous controversies and
arguments.
Aside from a political document that provides no specific guidelines,
many anti-pornography groups and individuals point out the link between
sexually explicit materials and violent sexual crimes. This link is
presented as a proven fact and a matter of common sense. As Mr. Charles
Cheating stated in response to the US. Commission on Obscenity and Pornog-
raphy of 1970, "The fact that obscenity corrupts lies within the common
sense . . . of every man" (6). However, when "common sense" is set aside
and the matter is examined scientifically, the link becomes nebulous at
best.
With the lack of a definite link between pornography and crime, as
will be discussed shortly, there is simply no valid reason that publishers
of pornography should not be protected by the First Amendment. Any efforts
to outlaw pornography run into trouble immediately, as questions arise and
are not answered. What does "pornography" mean? What is pornographic?
To what extent should pornography, whatever it is, be controlled? And
why should it be controlled at all if it is not clearly proven to harm
someone? This last question stems from the "harm condition" for legisla-
tion, which states that no conduct should be suppressed by law unless it
can be shown to harm someone. The subjective beliefs of an individual or
group that pornography is harmful cannot be considered sufficient proof
of the harm it does.
Perhaps the first and most important obstacle is the definition of the
key term "pornography". The numerous, differing definitions given by
opponents and proponents of pornography's right to exist show that a
dictionary is of little help. There are also other terms that come into
play, such as "smut", "erotica", and "obscenity". Each of these terms
has connotations that not only get in the way of a clear definition, but
also vary from person to person. While some would define erotica as a
milder form of sexually explicit material, others would say it is synonymous
with any or all of the other terms, and they would deny that there are
varying degrees of pornography.
Many people assume that pornography is merely any graphic depiction of
sexual intercourse or any concentrated display of nudity. This definition
is not agreed upon by everyone, however. One alternate definition given in
the much-quoted Minneapolis Ordinance is that pornography is the sexually
explicit subordination of women. This view does not deal with any display
of male nudity. Perhaps an expansion on this alternate definition, por-
nography is accused of being "the vehicle for dissemination of a deep and
vicious lie about women" (7). Again, any portrayal of male sexuality, such
as in publications designed for male homosexuals, seems to be excluded from
the classification of pornography.
The Johnson Commission of 1970, for the purpose of its study on the
effects of obscenity and pornography, declared that "obscenity" refers
to the legal concept of prohibited sexual materials, a view that the Meese
Commission of 1986 agreed with. Both commissions specifically avoided the
term "pornography" in their studies, deeming that it implies subjective
disapproval, and could be applied to any sexually-oriented material which
the person using the word finds objectionable. The Meese Commission also
avoided the term "erotica", declaring that it was simply used as the
opposite of "pornography" and its subjective disapproval.
Neither commission dealt with the term "smut", but former President
Richard Nixon seemed to prefer it in his statements rejecting the findings
of the Johnson Commission. He stated, "Smut should not be simply contained
at is present level; it should be outlawed in every state in the Union" (6).
It is apparent from the context of his statement that he disapproved of
smut, and perhaps the obvious connotation of disapproval disqualifies the
term "smut" for consideration as a neutral term to use. Certainly, "an
emotively neutral term is desirable in order to pursue empirical and
conceptual questions objectively" (12).
For the purposes of this essay, pornography is defined as any material
that displays or depicts any aspect of sexual activity in any manner and is
presented for the purpose of sexual arousal in any degree. Erotica is
defined as pornography that is generally not offensive to the majority of
the public, and the terms "smut" and "obscenity" will not be used. These
are surely subjective definitions, but in the need of operative terms and
with the lack of a better set of definitions, they will have to suffice.
Given these definitions, however, the question of the degree of necessary
control still remains. Should all material that fits the above description
of pornography be outlawed? Or is erotica acceptable in the hands of adults?
In the former case, it would be difficult at times to separate material that
is sexually arousing from that which is not. Even portrayals of bestiality
are only stimulating to a small minority, and yet the majority would consider
them pornographic. A criterion would need to be formulated determining the
number of persons required to be aroused for given material to be considered
pornographic.
In the latter case, where erotica is allowed for adults, the determina-
tion of offensiveness becomes the key issue. Clearly, what is offensive to
one may not be to another. Often the extent to which something is objection-
able is highly gender-specific. The reduction of a woman to her body parts,
such as a picture showing only breasts or genitalia, is commonly considered
offensive, as it results in the objectification of women. On the other
hand, a sculpted phallus is considered erotica, and yet this is a reduction
of a man to a body part. Again, a criterion would need to be created
determining the number of persons offended for given material to be excluded
from the classification of erotica.
Even if these criteria were provided and generally accepted, the question
of the reason for controlling pornography remains unanswered, and it is upon
this point that the debate intensifies. Assuming the harm condition for
legislation, pornography would need to positively do harm for it to be
suppressed. If the harm condition is ignored, however, then the next conduct
to be suppressed might be a particular religion, religion in general, or
perhaps peaceful assembly. Any right that is taken for granted now could
be eliminated if the harm condition were ignored. In the interest of justice
and the maintenance of rights, then, pornography must be clearly shown to
do harm before it is controlled.
Numerous studies have been conducted to determine if there really is a
causal relationship between pornography and crime, and the results have
varied widely. Any group wishing to take a stand for or against pornog-
raphy can find studies that support their argument, but in the interest
of fairness the opposing studies cannot be ignored. The Johnson Commission,
which found that it could not find a definitive link between pornography and
crime, is often pointed to by those in support of pornography, while the
Meese Commission, which later decided the link does exist, is quoted by those
who wish to see pornography suppressed.
A look at these studies and other studies, specifically those that have
established a porn-crime link, will reveal that the causal relationship is
still highly questionable. Although the Johnson Commission was criticized
for finding what it originally set out to find, the Meese Commission appears
to have been even more susceptible to that danger inherent in studies of
this nature. While the first commission had sufficient funding to pay for
new scientific studies, the later commission, with a shortage of funds, had
to rely mainly on the testimony of scientists who had already completed
studies. Their decision to ignore studies that showed no connection between
pornography and crime is a definite indicator of a a crippling bias.
The Meese Commission paid heed to studies that demonstrated exposure to
pornography increases the probability that viewers will express themselves
sexually in their normal manner of doing so, but the commission ignored
testimony that questioned the validity of those experiments. In his present-
ation to the commission panel, Dr. Richard Green pointed out that the college
students used in the experiments could not be equated with actual sex
offenders. He explained that the students knew what the professors were
looking for, which would severely affect the outcome of the experiments,
while prison research has shown no link between pornography and crime. The
prison research did, however, indicate that offenders had a generally lower-
than-average exposure to pornography prior to their crimes (9). This
testimony was not sufficient for the Meese Commission to disregard, or even
question, the studies that supported their anti-pornography beliefs.
Also ignored were the results seen in other countries after pornography
legalized in those countries. In the Federal Republic of Germany, there was
an eleven percent drop in sexual crimes between 1972 and 1980, after laws
against pornography were relaxed. In Denmark, where anti-pornography laws
were almost completely eliminated, there was a sixty-seven percent drop in
child molestation cases between 1967 and 1973. The laws banning pornographic
books in Denmark were dropped in 1966, and in 1969 that freedom was extended
to pornographic films.
The catharsis theory is used to explain these drops in sexual crimes.
The concept is that when pornographic materials are readily available,
would-be offenders can use these materials as masturbation aids, and having
expressed themselves in that manner they do not have the compulsion to engage
in crime. The pornography gives them a safe, legal sexual outlet. It is
interesting to note that the sales of pornography in Denmark climbed rapidly
immediately after pornography was legalized, but within a few years the
sales dropped drastically.
There has also been concern that pornography depicting deviant sexual
practices will corrupt those that do not already engage in such practices,
but one of the findings of the Johnson Commission was that "exposure to
pornography appears to have little or no effect on already established
attitudinal commitments regarding either sexuality or sexual morality" (6).
The commission also found that conventional sexual behavior is more stimu-
lating than aberrant sexual behavior. While not totally ruling out the
possibility, these findings show that fears of corruption toward deviant
sexual activity may be groundless.
With the existence of studies and examples that deny a causal relation-
ship between pornography and sexual crimes, it is a fair statement that
the link has not been shown to exist. This does not deny the possibility
of such a connection, but so long as it is still in question, it cannot
be used as an argument for the suppression of pornography. To enact laws
taking away constitutional rights without good reason opens the door for
the loss of other rights, also without good reason.
This still leaves open the question as to what can be done to reduce
sexual crimes. While many of the causes behind these crimes are still
debatable, there are actions that may be taken to reduce them based on
proven causes. One of the areas that can be addressed immediately is the
instance of repeat offense, and this is applicable to all types of crime.
Studies of re-arrest rates for felons on probation have shown rates between
twenty and sixty-five percent, with a range of fifteen to fifty-one percent
of resultant convictions for those arrests (3). Even at the low end of the
scale, these figures show a great deal of crime is committed by felons on
probation.
This is crime that is too easily prevented to be ignored. With methods
such as decreasing felony probation and keeping track of probationers with
electronic wristlet and anklet transmitters, this type of crime can be
reduced significantly. While we may not know exactly why the criminals
commit the initial crime, it is certainly within our power to prevent the
same individuals from repeating their actions. This is just one way that
the problem can be dealt with, without endangering the constitutional rights
that Americans value so greatly.
The intent of this essay is not to discourage continuing research into
the possibility of a connection between pornography and sexual crimes. The
current crime rate is much too high, and innovative methods for reducing
it are welcome. If a clear causal relationship is shown between crime and
pornography, or any other element of society, then action is certainly
called for. This research should not focus solely on pornography, for there
are other potential factors involved. The crime of rape is now considered
to be an act of violence as much as, or more than, an expression of
sexuality, and therefore explicitly violent material should be examined as
well.
In this area, it is definitely possible that different crimes may have
common roots. Sexual and non-sexual violent crimes, for example, may find
a common base in published material that depicts graphic violence. A series
of books that begins with the statement, "The object of this study is to
instruct the reader in the techniques of taking another human life, up close,
and doing it well" (8) cannot be ignored as a potential cause of crime, and
it cannot be assumed to affect only the particular crime of murder.
The American public will do itself a great disservice, however, if
actions are taken to limit constitutional rights without good cause. Any
laws designed to suppress pornography must be carefully constructed, and
they must be backed by sound scientific data. These laws also must clear
up any ambiguity about the definitions of the key terms or about the method
of classifying material into categories. To act hastily, ignoring these
requirements, could easily do more harm than not acting at all.
----------------
Works Consulted:
1. Allgeier, Elizabeth Rice. "Violent Erotica and the Victimization of
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The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs
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Aunt Amiga
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Chapter Fifteen
THE MATING SOUNDS OF NORTH AMERICAN FROGS
a novel about teaching in two first-persons
by Meredith Garmon
(with a lot of help on the T parts from Melody Lewis)
under the pseudonyms S.N and K.T.
Su-8-F-81
Ips and I put our heads together to try to find a way to get to
Zorch and rescue Mr. Blankenshield. "We need to know," I began, "how
a whole planet can exist in the same space and time as Our County and
yet be invisible and intangible to us but not to them."
"Well, it's a separate dimension. That's how."
"But what does that mean?
"It means it exists in the same space and time but we can't . . .
oh, that's circular, isn't it?" he realized.
A non-circular account of other dimensions is no easy matter.
After nearly two weeks, I hadn't gotten very far. Nevertheless, three
points seemed clear, and I related them to Ips. 1) Something would
have to create a "hole" between the dimensions. It might be just your
ordinary sort of hole, the kind one might find in a wall, say, or it
might be a kind of force which would rearrange all of one's molecules
(turn them inside out, or move them over into adjacent interstices in
the fabric of reality, or whatever), so that one became perceptive of,
and perceived by, Zorch. 2) This something which would make this hole
would have to be at least partly mechanical. 3) To get to Zorch and
not instead rearrange our molecules into, say, a bratwurst sandwich on
pumpernickel,or something even more random, would require a miracle.
"Well, said Ips, "there's lots of mechanical stuff in Firefly's
locker, and maybe Shelly can provide a miracle
So Ips called Firefly, who agreed to meet us at the school and
let us into her locker and offer what assistance she could. Then he
called Shelly who also said she'd be there. "Better bring my porta-
pooter and that physiology software package," he added. "Porta-
pooter" is Ips-lingo for portable computer.
Naturally, the place was deserted on Sunday. I let us in with my
key, and we made our way down the main hall, left at the second
corridor, and down to Firefly's locker. Firefly began rummaging and
tossing miscellaneous items out onto the floor. She removed a math
book stuffed with papers; an empty brown paper bag, another brown
paper bag with a small square of wax-paper wrapped white chocolate;
several moldy lumps that were slightly suggestive of bologna
sandwiches; a wrench; a stage prop from someone's production of
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"; three or four shelves full of
old textbooks and notebooks, the which formed a chronicle of her
entire school career, and most of her ancestors' too; an impressive
stack of library books with overdue fines that would support the
O.C.H.S. librarian in comfort for the rest of his days; a gym suit
with sweat stains vintage 1959; an original edition of the "New
England Primer;" a carburetor, a lawn-mower blade, and the remaining
pieces of what had once been the O.C.H.S. lawnmower. Ips picked up
one of the moldy lumps.
"Ugh," he said objectively.
"Just throw it away, I guess."
"I thought maybe we could use it for fuel."
"That might work," said Shelly, appearing around the corner.
"Some theorists suggest that the ingredients in pork bologna are key
for inter-dimensional travel."
"What theorists?" asked the Firefly.
"Other witch types, mostly," she admitted.
"But we don't even know if this bologna is pork or beef or
chicken or iguana," said Ips.
"Oh, Ips, don't say that," said Firefly thinking of her pet.
Shelly had brought a shoe-box of magical things, and we drew up
some preliminary plans. We would need to get a big mirror to hang on
a nearby wall, and we'd need a cracked glass ashtray, but between
parts, and optical equipment I got out of the science lab supply room,
we thought we had what we needed. Basically, the ordinary internal
combustion gasoline engine would be rebuilt, but with some
modifications. The blade would spin around at about ten times faster
than it had ever spun before, for instance, and the engine would also
serve as power source for a high intensity light beam that would be
variously refracted and diffracted and re-intensified and otherwise
manipulated until, just right, it would be directed at the blade which
would reflect it, strobe-like, against the big mirror where, we hoped,
our "hole" would form. Of course, it would be nothing but a small,
silly, noisy light show without Shelly. She was going to have to
summon eldritch forces from nature, and merge them with those of the
machine. The Betyses, between them, were fairly confident that we
would get some mighty potent thing on that mirror.
"Anyone who touches it will definitely get re-arranged
molecules," said Shelly.
"Re-arranged how?" I wanted to know.
"Zorchly, we hope," chimed Firefly. To ensure that our
molecules did get re-arranged Zorchly, and not quivering protoplasmly,
Ips's computer would be rigged to monitor key machine operations as
well as its output. The physiology software would recognize re-
arrangements that would leave us intact. It would adjust the
operation of the machine until such a re-arrangement force was
located.
While Ips and I tinkered with wrenches and screwdrivers, Firefly
drew pictures with a piece of chalk on any suitable flat surface of
our apparatus. Unicorns and dragons. Shelly spelled us sometimes on
the manual labor.
Some time after sun down we pretty much had it. It would be, if
it worked, a truly splendiferous combination of magic and science. We
needed a large mirror. Any old big mirror would do--there was one we
could unscrew from the wall of the little room behind the stage if we
didn't turn up another. More importantly we needed just the right
ashtray. It would be the last thing the light passed through before
hitting the blade, and it had to be just so.
"When're we gonna try it out, Shel?" asked Ips.
"Soon. The rhythms--the important ones for this sort of thing
anyway--are on an upswing. Tuesday or Wednesday. Thursday at the
latest I should think.
In the meantime we hauled the machine to the supply closet at the
back of my classroom. Between it and the fetal pigs there wasn't room
for all the other supplies, so we stacked the supplies all over my
black science counter. I locked up the closet, and we left O.C.H.S.
for the night.
Monday, February 9, 1981
"You what?" I gasped out at N as we walked to the cafeteria.
"Not me what," he replied. "It's really more Ips's and Shelly's
what. Be precise."
"Oh shit," I moaned, realizing that N's scientist and joker were
playing pranks again. "Well, damnit, what is it?"
"It's a small multi-dimensional machine which can transport us to
Zorch."
"Small, how do you mean?" I teased. "Smaller than, say, a
breadbox, or what?"
"That depends," he answered, unruffled.
"On what?"
"On how much yeast one uses.
"Yeast?!" I almost shouted.
"Well, yes. That factor would, after all, determine the size of
the loaf which would, in turn, determine the size of the breadbox,
which would, of course, determine the relative size of the machine."
It dawned on me that I was not going to find out doodley-squat if
this kept up, so I changed tactics and abandoned frivolity in favor of
straightforwardness. N, even when his scientist and joker were
dancing rings around the moon, appreciated the direct approach. I
finally got most of the story out of him.
The cafeteria was crowded and noisy. Usually N and I had lunch,
separate but equal, in the storage room behind his classroom, or
outside if the weather permitted. But today the storage room was full
of fetal pigs (and this machine he was telling me about), and cats and
dogs were coming out of the sky so we decided to join the alternate
animal world of the O.C.H.S. cafeteria. Student conversation banged
around the room accompanied on the drums and percussion by metal trays
and silverware. Today we were offered the ubiquitous O.C.H.S.
"mystery meat" in three different tantalizing forms: we could choose
mystery meat spaghetti, opt for mystery meat hot dogs, or hit the
salad bar and sprinkle mystery meat chunks on top of our lettuce and
radishes. Fortunately the kindly cafeteria ladies provided lots of
side dishes to go along with their main course offerings. N and I, as
was our custom when we dined in the cafeteria, picked the side orders.
Eating in the cafeteria with N was as challenging an experience
as our trips to the grocery store. "I don't see how you do that," I
said as we started down the line.
"What?"
"Eat everything the same."
"T, it's not the same," he explained patiently. "Here is a roll,
these are mashed potatoes, this is cauliflower, here is my tapioca
pudding, and this is milk."
"Oh God," I moaned, for the second time that day. "It's all the
same color, N, for God's sake, I mean everything is white. How can you
consistently eat meals that are all the same color?"
"Because of what you said."
"When?"
"Then."
"Then, what?"
"Now, then. Because it's consistent. I like being consistent."
He reached for a white napkin and carefully arranged it next to the
milk.
"But it just screams for some parsley or a radish rose or
something," I muttered. "Anything."
"No, it doesn't," he said. "It likes being this way. It enjoys
being subtly aesthetic. It is splendid in its simplicity. It's
artistic . . ." he continued serenely.
I looked down at my own plate: a Picasso of broccoli, pickled
beet, macaroni and cheese and chocolate pudding. "Well," I said
fumbling around in my shoulder bag for $1.25, "I think it's kind of,
you know, boring."
"And I," he replied, magically producing from his well organized
pockets the $2.50 for our lunches and handing it gallantly to the
cashier, "find yours somewhat obvious." We drifted over to the
teacher's table and sat down.
"Hey, Ms. T, can I use the salt and pepper?" bellowed a darlin
the size of The Hulk into my ear.
"Sure, Beefo," I said. "Help yourself." Students couldn't have
salt and pepper on their tables because they like to dump it on each
other and rip off the glass containers to keep their stash in.
I watched, mesmerized as usual, while N began arranging his food.
He separated the cauliflower into tiny florets and arranged them
spoke-like around the mashed potatoes in the center of the plate. He
spooned little globs of tapioca pudding (vanilla, of course), at the
top of alternating spokes. "Well, now, that's quite good," he said
proudly. "I think it's one of my better efforts."
"Oh, I don't know," I said smiling helplessly into my Picasso.
"I sort of liked the ravioli, sweet potato, carrot, and butterscotch
pudding masterpiece."
"Well, that's easy enough to analyze."
"Why?" I said stupidly. He looked down at my pumpkin colored
blouse and cinnamon striped tights.
"You are apparently partial to orange."
Ashtrays. Literally: tray for ashes. What makes this the key
missing ingredient? What makes this mundane object the pivot around
which multi-dimensional transference becomes possible?
Ashtrays have strong magic. Since ancient times ashes, sheltered
in their trays of clay, snakeskin, pottery, glass, etc., have been
gifts to the gods. Quietly, or sometimes with much hoopla, they have
given their burnt offerings to Whomever was in charge of rain, sun,
snow, thunderclouds, and the stock market. Trays have been used to
house the remains of heroes, virgins, suckling pigs, human first-
borns, tobacco, and Gucci blouse pricetags. Marijuana remnants are
drifted into ashtrays. Sticks of incense are often left to languish
there. Ashtrays can acquire a life of their own after becoming home
to the translated fire.
Some trays contain the remains of marshmallows, if they are
cooked indoors due to inclement weather and other inventions of the
gods. Likewise the leavings of shish-kabob and grilled pineapple.
Some trays collect the dust of human bones, soft and fine, and they
are strong because the spirit they contain is.
Ashtrays hold all that's left of something that was once alive,
so my guess is that ashtrays hold the magic of life. Firefly pays rent
on an ashtray from Lucerne, Switzerland. When she was sixteen
Firefly's mum and dad treated her to a holiday on the Continent. She
was expected to broaden her knowledge, and they were counting on her
to return as a kind of decorative computer who would grace their condo
in Florida by gushing appropriate cocktail witticisms about the
Louvre, Marseilles, and the Pitti Palace. What Firefly did return
with was no maidenhead. It had vanished into the continental magic of
Lake Lucerne. Having been cautioned by her Junior High girlfriends
not ever to "do it" in a chlorinated swimming pool, Firefly concluded
that a semi-unpolluted lake would be OK. She jumped in with a
bartender who had great hands, and she kept her eyes glued to the sky
while he lunged and lunged. And when Firefly felt the waves pour over
her, she was at first slightly disappointed that the waves were only
shell pink rather than bright crimson. After all, she thought, "I
have waited a long time to lose this cherry, and the least the lake
could do for me would be a Moses number." But then her bartender went
"aaaahhhh," and held her a second longer in his wonderful hands, and
Firefly lost her preoccupation with theatrics and said, "aaaahhhh" in
reply. Moses climbed up on the gabled roof of a Swiss chalet and
averted his eyes. Actually, he had to put on a pair of Polaroid
sunglasses, and he waited quietly there munching on manna as the
couple performed their own miracle a second time.
And then they dripped out of the lake and shared a warm fondue.
And the cheese melted on their tongues like manna and he gave her half
an ashtray and said he would always keep the other half because she
had made him whole.
Firefly has, in her trailer, lots of ashtrays. This is because
she smokes a lot of cigarettes and likes to have one near her so she
won't make the place too untidy. Her ashtrays are flowerpots, candy
tins, sea shells, banana peels, rum bottles, and the cap from an
ancient bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Sun Tan Oil. She also uses the
ashtray from her Swiss lover. It's a half a glass beauty that still
bears the "Luce" part of Lucerne on its face, the 'e' split down the
middle. Firefly thinks often as she snuffs her butt into "Luce" that
the bartender is snuffing his into "Erne" and it makes her smile.
Ips asked her about it that first morning in the trailer. "Hey,
Firefly, what are you doing with half a cracked ashtray from Lucerne?"
The Firefly replied, as she crawled into jeans with planets and
daisies embroidered around a miniature Swiss Chalet, "It was for you,
Ips, my love, it was for you."
Urns to the gods have always been holy, and their ash offal is
holy. So my guess is that if we deal with ashtrays as both holy and
carnal we have slicked the path to Zorch with honey and studded it
with icons of gold.
This is the rent that Firefly pays on her cracked half an ashtray
from Lucerne: She winds her cuckoo clock every Tuesday, even when she
isn't in the mood. She buys Swiss chocolate and shapes the foil
wrapper into small animals and birds and keeps them next to her
waterbed. She requests cheese fondue almost every Thursday when she
comes to my apartment to have dinner. She swims in the pond by her
trailer at least four times a week in the temperate seasons. And now
and then she blends tears into her rum and tea and whispers a message
to the faraway Lake Lover and wishes him peace.
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THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE
by Roger Bacon
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE WORD PROCESSOR
The computer has yet to evolve to the state-of-the-art degree of readiness that a looseleaf binder and set of markers possesses, in regard to immediate functionality and universal familiarity but its getting there folks and the laptop is a big stride in the right direction.
Anyone with rudimentary graphic abilities can produce a working sketch and accompanying notes far faster with the former than with the latter and these can be photocopied and distributed quicker than most printer/communication computer setups can manage but on the other hand, the computer has the edge when it comes to erasing mistakes and storing the results.
I have evolved a system whereby I do my design sketches with paper and ink then digitise them and experiment with different ideas on the computer, there's few things as traumatic as irretrievably ruining a watercolor painting one has worked on for hours.
TO SLEEP PERCHANCE TO DREAM
Its funny how other people worry about ones habits on ones behalf, expressing concern where none is warranted, at least as far as I can see.
When I get home, I like to sleep for an hour before dinner which my wife is sure is a degenerate practice (let me hasten to add that I also make the dinner rather than loll around being waited on hand and foot! Mind you, I'd be perfectly happy to adopt that stance if the chance arose!)
I need the nap to recover from a day of keeping other peoples children happy, stimulated and under control but my wife insists that this is not necessary. I wonder if anyone else adopts what seems to me to be a perfectly sensible practice? At 44 I still have the same amount of energetic daily activity as I did 20 years ago, more if anything, it just seems to take longer to recharge. Ho hum, time for some zees...
DEFINING THE CHOICES
I remember once reading a (probably apocryphal) tale about an Australian farmer who was convinced that civilization was nothing but a breeding ground for degeneracy. So he moved his family to the remotest parts of the Northern Territory and brought up his daughters by himself - it was never made clear what happened to the wife, or else I forgot, she probably took off!
Years later when his daughters had reached the ages of 19 and 21 respectively, he returned to civilization so that they could see first hand what they werent missing and they supposedly were so appalled at what they saw that they all returned to the remote regions forthwith.
True or not, there are a number of things wrong with this story, or rather the conclusion when it is used to support a contention such as a statement like "the world is going to hell in a handbasket".
Did the children allow themselves time to adjust to their change in circumstamces?
Were their values and opinions largely predetermined by having been brought up in seclusion by a father who impressed upon them his reasons for doing so?
What happened subsequently and last but most importantly, did the father deny access to the media?
Even if we can assume that these well balanced and unbiased persons reached their conclusions by comparing their isolated situation with the norm and opted for the former after due consideration of the pros and cons, its hardly a useful exemplar since the majority of humanity doesnt have that option of retreat.
This example sets the stage for the following opinion.
Whereas I believe that the public is on the receiving end of a biased media system, they have the choice to deny it and were enough of them to do so then it is reasonable to assume that changes would be made to accomodate their wishes. One cannot expect or demand that the programmers and editors and their executive deliberately tailor their output to some arbitarily imposed set of standards as to what is or is not acceptable..and to whom?
About the only choice that remains, assuming the media offends you (which, speaking personally, it does) is to limit ones choices by defining what one sees, reads and hears - something that we've been practicing in my household for several years.
We do not watch the news or read the newspapers because we feel that its too depressing and we dont gain anything from being informed about circumstances over which we have no control. Where does one profit from learning about murders, rapes and other crimes and what can one do about it anyway?
You may be surprised to know that there are a lot of good things going on in the world, anyone who is into music knows only too well how many good bands there are that no one ever hears played on the radio and philanthropy is alive and well, thankyou very much, whilst all over the world caring and dedicated people are doing their bit to combat the waste, despoiling and indifference to the planet that is the hallmark (apparently) of our civilization.
Its true that these and other examples from a wide range of interests are going on all the time but you have to be a bit selective to find it out for yourself. Nowhere does goodness get the same primetime daily slab of concentrated
mass merchandising that evil is apparently entitled to.
You can enjoy a daily diet of murder and mayhem, simulated and real but just try to find its opposite as easily and you are likely to be left with the inference (by default) that there isn't enough to be worth publishing.
That is why I am unwilling to allow the media free and unrestricted access to my family's minds and why I am put in the position of that apocryphal Australian farmer!
ON THE OTHER HAND
Having given vent to my opinions about the media in general, it must be said that the various alternative outlets dont exactly cover themselves in glory, either.
It is wrong, in my opinion, to slant ones output to exaggerate ones worth particularly if in doing so one states or implies that the other alternatives are unworthy without giving them adequate representation, even if that means acting as devils advocate on occasion.
If anyone sat through the unedifying spectacle of Jimmy Swaggerts recent, regular, diatribe-a-thons on early morning TV (I assume they've been pulled since his well publicised faux pas) they should have been as appalled as I would expect them to be in the face of an Adolf Hitler type politician - several come to mind but I wont go into that!
Surrounding oneself with yes-persons as backup doesnt qualify for the mixed opinion award and so we can dismiss that example as blatant bigotry, as indeed it was and was intended to play to others of that ilk who are, unfortunately, a vociferous majority fortunately divided amongst themselves about who they hate the most.
He might have saved the show, if not himself, had he invited his critics to counter his charges with an equal platform - namely his own show but that of course is out of the question in the weird and wonderful world of inflammatory rhetoric.
Its a shame that so-called 'Christian' media manipulators have gotten so much bad press for Christianity in general, not that it has amongst Christs followers but it certainly has with the undecided or cynical onlookers. Its particularly sad because they are NOT representative of Christianity in general (on the one hand) whereas they ARE representative of Christians (on the other hand) because simply expressing a belief doesnt automatically elevate one to sainthood.
Christ, you will recall, spent a lot of time amongst those classes and types of people with whom Jadaism would rather not be associated (not that it stopped THEM from lying, fornicating or thieving) probably because they needed His help more than most and probably as an indicator that His ministry was truly open to all, as God's is, of course.
People who set themselves up on a pedestal as professional goody two shoes are simply asking to be toppled and almost inevitably are. Unfortunately theres no press value in sinners that try their hardest to redeem themselves, despite occasional setbacks.
As a friend of mine says, "Christianity is the only army that shoots its wounded!" How much better it would be if we did not try quite so hard to propogate an image of unrealistic sanctity and concentrated instead upon the real worth of Christs message which is that we are ordinary people united by a common faith who are trying to help each other along the rocky road to salvation.
I deplore those so called "Christian" media outlets that produce racist propoganda, depict sensitive issues with brutal insensitivity and attempt to pervert young minds with inflammatory comic books whilst completely avoiding any mention of the loving care and patient dedication that typifies the ethos of this great Truth and its support organization that we label Christianity.
One could bat examplars and supporting evidence as well as its opposite, back and forth all day and nowhere is it written that one should not discuss the tenets of ones faith
or speculate about many of its mysteries. Thats the trouble, you see, with much of what is perceived about religion inasmuch as it is mistakenly propagated and in consequence seen as a rigid framework of absolutes any deviation from which is grounds for immediate damnation.
Its doubtful if any of Jesus' disciples could have met such criteria and its arguable if any Christian church has all the answers, certainly insofar as allowing the Faith to goven human behavior is concerned.
The Truth is that if one strives hard to conform to Gods Law one gradually finds that much of the worldy distractions lose their appeal but that doesnt automatically put one beyond the reach of everyday human affairs, nor does it shortcircuit emotions. Show me a Christian that goes out of his or her way not to associate with sinners and I'll show you a hypocrite that has completely missed the point.
Show me a brother or sister who has worked long and hard to further Christs ministry only to be dumped by their brethren for having been led astray and I'll show you someone who has been wronged and should be forgiven and supported until they are able to resume their path.
Show me a bombastic bigot who screams and yells about Love, rather in the way that some sadistic Victorian disciplinarian might scream, between blows "this is hurting me more than you!" and I'll show you a lost soul who desperately needs help.
Anyone who has read much of my writing on ModemNews will of course recognize me as Bacon the well known hypocrite and may even be wondering whats happened. You usually read stuff that I have written as long as two years ago, rarely less than a year old and thus you have missed my recent re-awakening, the details of which I spared you since I am only too well aware of the transitory nature of my previous attempts at reform. I deplore all the hoopla about being 'born again' whatever that means but you may infer from this article that I have undergone a revelation which, while perhaps not up to Saul of Tarsus standards, was sufficiently overwhelming for me to reaffirm my commitment to Christ, Whose help and salvation I know that I want and need along with any of your prayers should you happen to read this and remember my words.
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Aunt Amiga
Dorothy Hall
As Aunty has mentioned there are some great benefits in having two computers, and as with most things good there is a down side.
There are two computer keyboards slopped with coffee and in husbands case truffle ick.
The problem with this is the cleaning falls to the mommy and the sad fact is that when the mommy cleans so does the director of Hall Consulting. Another problem is there are times when one person in the house can't find a computer anywhere to work on.
At least Puck doesn't require time on the things, he simply refuses to believe mommy and daddy are so mis-guided as to not take advantage of his furry presence and will insinuate some part of his anatomy in my lap or put his bone in Husbands hand to be held while he chews it. Aunty is sure part of Pucks' rapt attention has to do with the pile around his Daddy's computer. Husband has an extraordinarily high goo level and is firmly convinced little computer eaters like himself have been responsible for the implosion of baby food, mini doritos, mini oreos that have commercially taken the path I have chosen here at home. A plate of food cut up in the kitchen doesn't flip onto the printer. Cookies sized to disappear in one bite can't crumb up the keyboard. Truffles in a bowl with a spoon don't have to be hand dipped and leave no licked finger prints.
The folks who make an obscene amount of money with MS-Dos and IBM machines have finally come around to our way of thinking as Doug Barney in Aprils' Amiga World pointed out, it's not a crime anymore to use computers for fun as well as for work. You don't have to use a brain-dead computer or a computer that makes you brain dead.
Were we not in actual fact in a struggle to the death to keep our market alive it would be amusing to most of we Amigans to watch as the other side had slowly decided Windows was a stupendous new addition Graphics were important taking all our fun things while they continue to tell us that they are not important, not worth anything and not any good.
A poll in 1986 showed that most people purchased the same computer system they had at work because they could use have access to the thou$and$ of dollars of software available (make that steal) at work. Unfortunately the pollster was not a Commodore person and didn't think to ask how many of them ran banks or real estate offices at home.
The industry knows what WE'VE got, otherwise they wouldn't have created the Ibple and add-on after co$t-on. One day everyone will know the emperor has no clothes.
Remember lovey's Aunty says if you can't have fun, close the coffin.
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Roundabout! is where we present our monthly computer related columns. You'll see "RandY's RumOr RaG" and "Vaporware" on a regular basis.
The third slot is available for your writings. We are always looking for a third regular monthly column.
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RAndY's RumOR RaG
March 1992
WORDPERFECT NEWS
WordPerfect Corp. is not resting on its laurels with the
release of WordPerfect for Windows.
A new package is expected to ship in late February called
WordPerfect Works. This is basically a revamp of Executive.
Besides a new name, the package will get a considerable
facelift. The calendar and calculator are gone. They are replaced
by a flat-file database, an improved word processor, and a Lotus-
compatible spreadsheet.
Another feature is a built-in fax function which will create
and send faxes without leaving the program. The package will list
for $299.
OK, now that the Windows product is out, what about
WordPerfect for OS/2? As you may remember, WordPerfect had made a
commitment to OS/2 before Windows 3 came along. Well, here are
some excerpts from a WordPerfect news release concerning the
eminent release of an OS/2 product.
"We are impressed with the capabilities of OS/2 and are
supportive of the OS/2 direction," said Pete Peterson, executive
vice president of WordPerfect Corporation. "IBM is working closely
with us to make sure we have the tools necessary to quickly create
a native OS/2 2.0 version. With their help, we should have a good
idea of how long the development effort will take by the end of
this year (meaning 1991)." As of February 11, 1992, no
announcement concerning a release date has been made.
Until a native OS/2 version is released, users can run
WordPerfect 5.1 for Windows on OS/2 version 2.0 when available.
WordPerfect for OS/2 Presentation Manager will be SAA/CUA
compliant. (SAA stands for Systems Application Architecture. It
is a standard set of user and software interfaces published by IBM
to provide a common way for applications to be accessed on any
computer from PC to mainframe. CUA stands for Common User Access.
It is a subset of SAA. It defines general user interface design
principles, such as use of the mouse, graphical windows, scroll
bars, pull down menus, dialogue boxes and various controls. The
purpose of CUA is to provide usability and consistency within and
across applications). WordPerfect will comply with both CUA level
1 and CUA level 2.
WordPerfect for Presentation Manager is scheduled to have an
option, which can be set as the default, to save documents directly
in DCA format. The program will also detect DCA during retrieval
and convert it on the fly. Effectively, the user will be able to
work continually in DCA without having to worry about it. They
would simply lose any WordPerfect codes that DCA does not support.
The save dialogue box would allow them to see what format they're
saving, and let them change it each time they save, if they would
like.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
I hate to talk about serious things, but a matter has come to
my attention that I need to relate to you.
Let me preface this discussion by saying I'm not endorsing
this or putting it down - I'm just relating the facts.
There is a BBS in the San Jose area called Amateur Action. It
is a subscription only BBS which has (at last count) over 4,000
GIFs of undressed people, many of them engaged in situations of
extreme affection. These are not professional actors and they are
not the usual GIFs you see on BBS's and the pay services. The
sysop occasionally will pay a local girl to pose nude and put the
GIFs on the BBS for the downloading pleasure of the membership.
The sysop called each person who sent in money to verify that they
were old enough to be involved.
Here's what's happening. About the middle of January, the San
Jose police department raided the home where the BBS is located and
confiscated the computer equipment. The equipment included the
computer with over 300 megs of storage, a color scanner, and 8 HST
Dual Standard modems (he had 8 lines coming in). The police
claimed that they were distributing child pornography among other
things. I recently talked to the sysop's wife and she said that
their lawyers were working on getting the equipment back and
getting the BBS back up.
To the best of my knowledge, there were no files on the BBS
which violated any laws. The participants were consenting adults
and the sysop did not even allow BBS members to send in GIFs of
their wives or girlfriends.
I was requested by the sysop's wife to relate this story and
spread it throughout the BBS community. Whether this type of thing
is for you or not is not the issue. What's on my hard drive is my
business (assuming that I paid for it).
As of the end of February, Amateur Action is back on-line.
But the problem remains and the lawyers get richer. (What's the
difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A gigolo only screws one
person at a time.)
---------------
VENTURA PUBLISHER 4.0
I first started using Ventura Publisher back with Version 1.1.
It took a little while to get the hang of it, but I quickly came to
appreciate the power at my fingertips. After lusting for a Windows
version, Version 3 came along. I wished the programmers had
followed the specifications for writing Windows programs and
rapidly grew frustrated with constant UAE's. The problems have
grown so bad that I switched to PageMaker for desktop publishing
duties.
Now I've had a chance to sample Version 4. Included is
support for color including Pantone, 24-bit TIFF, PC, and EPS
files. They've included a Search and Replace feature along with a
spell checker. You've now got OLE support, 50 new style sheets,
and an Undo feature. The big news is the addition of other modules
which interface with Ventura Publisher to allow you to scan
directly into the program, make color separations, do color image
processing (24-bit color), and do color corrections and control.
First of all, this has to be the slowest loading program on
the face of the earth. After grinding away at your hard drive for
almost 55 seconds, you're finally ready to go. (I realize that it
takes a while on a lowly 386-33 with 16 megs of memory.)
The menu structure seems to be the same with the addition of
Search and Replace and the spell checker located under the Edit
menu. The fun part comes when you load a chapter or even just
change style sheets. Get your cup of coffee again because you're
in for a wait. Don't ask me why it takes 15-20 seconds to load a
little 2K stylesheet.
The program is bundled with Adobe Type Manager (Version 1.15)
and a ton of fonts, except that you only get the printer metric
files - they don't include the PFB files. The fonts seem to
correspond to the 35 or so fonts included in Postscript printers.
Apparently the PFM files are used for outputting Postscript to an
outside service. I wish they had included the complete font files.
In fairness, they seem to have gotten rid of UAE's. I tried
some things guaranteed to lock up Version 3 and had no problems.
Old chapters and style sheets loaded without formatting problems,
although the wait was a nuisance. A friend who is more of a
Ventura expert than I am still had some UAE problems.
I'm not sure that it's worth the $129 they're hitting you for
the upgrade, but at least most of the bugs seem to be gone.
---------------
TYPE TALK
If you're like me, your hard drive contains a fair number of
typefaces. I use different typefaces for different applications
depending upon what I want it to look like. The RaG is written
with Courier because when I save it as a DOS text file (when it's
all through), you can read it without scrolling horizontally using
a program like LIST. (A proportional font will put more characters
on a line.) As a general rule, I use a serif font like Times Roman
for body text and a sans serif font like Helvetica for headlines
and larger type. I've also got some decorative fonts to make a
statement or add impact.
I recently came across an article on typography which I found
interesting.
We all know that Aldus Manutius is credited with cutting the
first oldstyle type in 1495. Oldstyle typefaces are always serifs.
The serifs on lowercase letters slant and connect to the main
strokes with a curve. The strokes that create the letterforms make
a gentle transition from thick to thin. Oldstyle typefaces tend to
have a warm, graceful appearance and generally are the best choice
for readable, lengthy bodies of text. Examples of oldstyle text
are Times Roman and Garamond.
Modern typefaces also have serifs, but the serifs are all
horizontal and thin. The strokes change radically from thick to
thin. Modern typefaces have a sparkle, but they tend to look cold
and severe. They are not very readable and are not a good choice
for body text. One example of a modern typeface would be Bodoni.
Slab serifs typefaces are also serifs, and the serifs are
horizontal and thick. The stroke may make a slight transition or
there may be no transition at all. Slab fonts are not named after
their designer, but carry Egyptian names. This style of font was
becoming popular in advertising in the early 1800's when Napoleon
went on his Egyptian campaign. The placards that Napoleon's troops
used to send messages used a slab serif font. These typefaces have
a more mechanical, regimented appearance and are quite readable,
although they will create a darker page. Examples would be one of
the Cheltenams or Clarendons.
Sans serifs have no serif. The stroke has almost no visible
transformation from thick to thin and are sometimes called
"monoweight" fonts. They are usually more legible than serif
faces, but less readable. That means that a sans serif font is
most effective in short bursts of text such as a headline, but they
are not ideal for body text. Examples of sans serif would be
Helvetica and Futura.
Script faces are patterned after handwriting. They can be
serifs or sans serif and in a variety of weights. They create a
unique appearance, so don't use them in large bodies of text and
NEVER use them in all caps.
Decorative fonts are fun. They are not meant to be anything
but decorative. They can add punch or create a "look", but use
them in moderation. Just like salt in your food, a little tastes
good, but too much makes you puke.
---------------
NOVELL DUMPS 286
Novell has taken the first step toward moving away from 286-
based network software. They raised the price of NetWare 2.x and
lowered the entry cost of NetWare 3.11, thereby encouraging users
to buy 3.x. They're also encouraging users to upgrade by not
developing strategic enhancement products, such as the NMS
specifically for 2.x.
Insiders estimate that at most, 15% of the installed Novell
base is using 3.x, the majority still using 2.x (designed for the
2868 chip). It is estimated that it will take 12-18 months before
3.x catches up.
Novell refused to comment on whether they will release
upgrades to NetWare 2.2 in the future. Other sources say that
aside from bug fixes, development has stopped on 2.x.
Novell will release a migration utility that will ease the
transition from NetWare 2.x to 3.x, because when upgrading to 3.x
the hard drive must be completely reformatted and NetWare
reinstalled.
---------------
OS/2 2 COMING SOON
I read in one of my dealer-type publications that OS/2 Version
2 will be sold through some of the major distributors such as
Merisel and Ingram Micro. I wasn't sure if this would be a retail
product like DOS 5 but at this point it sure looks like it.
Merisel expects to be able to ship sometime in April and Ingram
Micro expects to begin receiving shipments from IBM by the end of
February. (Do you really want serial number 00001?)
Sometime in mid-February, IBM is expected to ship the final
beta copies of OS.2 2.0. Here's a list of hardware specs which are
recommendations from Big Blue itself.
The minimum hard-disk storage is now at 18 MB! IBM recommends
that systems running the final version of the software have 4MB of
RAM and a 60 MB hard drive. The least amount of code needed to run
OS/2 2.0 is about 18 megs on the user's hard drive, most people
will be using about 25MB-26MB. When you count swap files, you're
looking at 30MB-35MB of space. According to an IBM spokesman,
these figures represent a "fully working system". That includes
code for Windows 3.0.
Some features such as CD-ROM support and extra fonts can be
left off during installation and IBM is said to be working to
reduce the size of the swap files (now about 9MB in size). They're
also looking at other technologies such as data compression.
This doesn't look good . . .
---------------
On the other hand, IBM is breaking ground (or breaking wind)
with the user interface of OS/2. Version 2 will be very Mac-like
in appearance. Wanting to distance themselves from Windows, IBM
has developed what has come to be called the Workplace Shell.
Users will have the alternative of replacing the Workplace
Shell with an OS/2 1.3 or Windows 3 shell. The new Workplace Shell
departs from the familiar pull-down menus of Windows and
Presentation Manager. Instead, the Workplace Shell attempts to
mimic a physical desktop with file folders representing stored
files and applications. It uses graphical icons to represent
familiar objects. For example, there is a shredder for deleting
files and a printer icon to print files. The Workplace Shell is
also customizable, and with the included icon editor you can create
objects specific to a company, for example.
Some of this stuff is going to be real new to PC users, but to
the Mac crowd, it's old hat. For example, you can drag a file
folder to the shredder to delete a file. Now this sounds like
cutesy stuff, but having worked on a Mac a little, I hate to say
that I prefer this method of deleting files.
My fingers remain crossed.
---------------
DOG PILE ON INTEL!
The end of Intel's long monopoly on 486 processors may be
headed for an end. AMD plans to start shipping samples of its 486
product this summer with volume shipments scheduled for fourth
quarter.
The AMD line will have 25mhz, 33mhz, and 50mhz versions of the
486DX and a 25mhz 486SX (shame on you). Samples will ship in the
fourth quarter of a low-power 3.3-volt 486DXLV in 16mhz, 20mhz, and
25mhz flavors.
The AMD 486 chips will be plug-compatible with Intel's chips
and can be plugged directly into existing system designs.
Cyrix is also planning to release 486-compatible processors
later this year, but are not commenting further.
---------------
ENTIRE CLIENT WORKSTATION
Software AG will be soon introducing the Entire Client
Workstation (EWS) which will use Windows as the primary system
platform, but will also support UNIX and OS/2.
Availability is scheduled for mid-1992 and the product is
comprised of a series of Windows-based products designed to enable
corporations to easily integrate personal computers into corporate-
wide computing environments.
In addition to EWS, they have announced Entire Office
Workstation, which is designed to give a consistent user interface
for workstation functions; Entire Reporting Client, offering users
custom/dynamic views of corporate data; and Entire Business
Analysis Workstation, enabling users to synthesize and process
enterprise information.
Also recently introduced is Natural Geographic. This is a
geographic data management system targeted at selective marketing,
service dispatch, and delivery, site location, and resource
allocation. This costs $175,000 to $325,000 for the server,
depending upon the processor size and $12,000 for each workstation.
Just send cash.
---------------
NEW PROTOCOL
I just heard about a new protocol for transferring files via
modem. HS/Link allows you to upload multiple files and download
multiple files in both directions at the same time at speeds close
to what Zmodem does in a single direction. Apparently, HS/Link is
very fast and easy to use, unlike BiModem (another simultaneous
transfer protocol). Just think of the advantages: you can get BBS
credits for uploading at the same time you're downloading. You're
going to be online for 20 minutes anyway, why not enhance
everyone's BBS experience by uploading some files at the same time.
HS/Link has crash recovery and error correction like Zmodem.
It uses 32-bit CRC for error control, primarily for 2400 bps users.
It's available as shareware and registration invokes a graphic
gauge to show your transfer progress and other features. Look for
the file on a BBS near you, Version 1.1 is current as I write this.
And while I'm on the subject of modems,those of you HST users
out there should try typing in AT USR when in terminal mode -
interesting.
---------------
HARVARD GRAPHICS
I'm probably going to irritate quite a few people here, but I
like life on the edge.
I'm a registered owner of Harvard Graphics 2.11 but I've never
bothered to upgrade it since I don't use it. I've recently had the
opportunity to play with Version 3 and I am not impressed.
I don't understand why this piece of software costs so much.
I didn't like Version 2.11 and I've installed and removed Version
3 three times now - and it's a chore to get rid of after it
branches out my hard drive in a myriad of subdirectories.
The full package consumes 10+ megs of hard drive space with
literally hundreds of files. The installation program performs one
of my favorite procedures: copying every device driver regardless
of what you have attached.
What is the attraction here? I find the interface confusing
and cumbersome (sometimes you press Enter, other times you press
F10), yet I read glowing quotes and reviews in all the magazines.
They must get their copies for free. The whole thing is clumsy in
terms of moving around the menu tree and I always screw things up
when trying to add or manipulate clip art.
In my opinion, this is one of the most over-rated pieces of
software out there. I don't want to see the Windows version.
---------------
NEW PC MAG BENCHMARKS
PC Magazine recently updated their popular Benchmark Series.
These are not diagnostics, but tests for memory, processor, video,
and hard drive I/O which let you compare different computers and
configurations.
The user interface for Bench 6.0 now supports VGA and EGA
graphics as well as text mode displays. The program automatically
determines the display adapter and mode of the system in which it's
running and adjusts itself accordingly. Mouse support, drop down
menus, windows and graphs are all features of the new user
interface.
A database engine is now an integral part of Bench 6.0. This
engine keeps track of both tests and test results. All results can
be logged to the database and recalled later for modifications
and/or additions. This also allows them to be used for comparison
against other machines as well. Results can be saved to DBF or
ASCII format.
The tests have that "smooth" look on the order of PC Tools,
but the primary change is the way that performance is measured.
Bench 6.0 now measures performance as throughput rather than
elapsed time (as in Bench 5.6). Results are expressed as
operations/second, kilobytes/second, characters/second or
pixels/second as appropriate (except for the disk access tests).
Every test runs for a minimum of 10 seconds. This ensures a high
degree of accuracy in the results (+- 1%).
Several new EGA/VGA register-level graphics tests have been
added and the existing text mode tests have been enhanced. These
tests help to determine whether the graphics adapter is set to run
in 8- or 16-bit mode as well as measuring the graphical performance
of these adapters. These tests perform graphics fills and Bitblts
(bit block transfers) - two of the most common functions for
graphics adapters.
If you've previously registered your Benchmark Series disks,
you should get an update in the mail - sometime. Failing that,
check your favorite BBS for the new files. Also included is a new
Benchmark test for Windows.
---------------
GAG ME WITH A SPOON
I just got an ad in the mail for the most ridiculous magazine
I think I've ever heard of. Why would anyone subscribe to a
magazine called "Inside PC Tools" for $39 a year?
I've hated PC Tools ever since they went to the fancy
interface back with Version 5. They took an excellent utility and
mucked it up with crap. If they add anything else to the menus,
they're going to fall off the bottom of the screen.
Anyway, here are some tidbits you too can learn about if you
subscribe to this thing. Learn how the Data Security tools work -
how the cache makes your computer faster - how PC Tools checks your
computer for viruses - how to use Commute on a PBX (I'd just like
to make it work - period) - using PC Tools with Windows. My
favorite is "Saving disk space - which PC Tools files can you
safely erase?" My answer is "all of them".
---------------
SHOP TALK
Things are happening on the computer dealer end of things that
I'd like to make you aware of. IBM recently authorized Ingram and
Gates/FA to sell certain models of their computers. (These are two
large distributors of hardware and software.) Compaq has done the
same thing and now Apple seems to will take the same action.
I suppose a little background is in order to understand why
this is so important. Up until now, certain large companies have
required retailers to be "authorized" to sell their products.
Among the familiar names in this camp are Apple, IBM, Compaq, and
Hewlett-Packard. Generally, a store had to sell a particular
number of units per year or per month to keep the authorization.
As a small store owner, I think this sucks. I get people asking me
for these name brand products, but can't get authorization because
my volume is too low.
Anyway, by the time you read this, Apple is expected to
announce authorization agreements with Ingram, Merisel, and Tech
Data (large distributors).
What this means to the end user is that you have a better
chance of getting these name brand products at you local computer
store, rather than having to deal with one of the large franchisees
like Computerland.
---------------
QUATTRO PRO 4
I haven't seen it yet, but apparently version 4 of Quattro Pro
is now shipping. Work on the Windows version is progressing and
sources say that a new pre-beta release of Quattro Pro for Windows
features drop-and-drag functionality similar to Excel's Version 4
beta.
High in the list of features in the new DOS version are tight
integration with NetWare, faster performance, and enhanced graphics
and analytical features. The mouse palette of Version 3 has been
replaced with a customizable text-based SpeedBar to facilitate menu
choices and formula building. It is possible to write formulas by
pointing and clicking and not touching the keyboard. A TurboSum
button facilitates addition of rows, columns, and cell blocks.
There is also more file compatibility with other formats,
including Allways, 1-2-3 Release 3.X, and Harvard Graphics.
Quattro Pro 4 will translate 1-2-3 Release 3.X three-dimensional
ranges into multiple linked workspaces. There are still some
glitches in the Allways and Impress importing and there are some
color restrictions (ranges cannot be displayed in different hues,
for example). Also included are an integrated spreadsheet auditor
and an Optimizer for solving complex multivariable problems.
---------------
DEC NEWS
AS you read this, DEC should have announced the long-awaited
Alpha chip, a powerful microprocessor that DEC is betting its
future on.
Alpha is a 64-bit RISC-based microprocessor that operates at
150mhz and can, in theory, perform up to 400 MIPS. Workstations
based on this chip are expected to begin shipping by the end of
the year. Initially, the chip will support VMS and OSF/1 operating
systems. DEC is reported to be working on porting Windows NT to
Alpha.
The key to success of Alpha will be how quickly and easily
third-party developers can port their applications and how soon DEC
can ship the new machines in volume. Some third-parties such as
Oracle and SAS Institutes are already porting their traditional
VMS-based applications. DEC plans to license the chip to others.
Cray Research has announced it will implement the chip in its
supercomputers.
---------------
WINDOWS NEWS
Coming soon from Dynamix (Sierra On-Line) is a new game for
Windows called Pinball. It is an animated VGA pinball pack with
six games, multiple playing fields, and animation. Pinball will
feature full icon and multitasking support. The six games reflect
themes from Sierra adventure games and include Space Quest, King's
Quest, Nova 9, Leisure Suit Larry, and Willy Beamish. There's also
a spoof on climbing the corporate ladder called Mr. Hosehead.
Pinball is scheduled to ship in April with an MSRP of $49.95.
---------------
Look for a new Windows version of TAPCIS, the Compuserve
front-end sometime this year.
---------------
Microsoft's Windows database, Cirrus, is expected to be announced
by mid-June, but sources say it will take longer to get it on the
shelves. Representatives from Microsoft have been demonstrating
Cirrus' ability to tie into files from dBase and Paradox as well as
Microsoft's SQL Server.
---------------
By the middle of the year expect to see yet another high-end
desktop publisher. This one comes from the world of Mac in the
form of QuarkXpress for Windows. It's a killer on the Mac, let's
hope it translates well.
In a related thought, I've yet to see a product from Ready,
Set, Go! which was another Mac desktop publisher to be brought over
from that other world.
---------------
Just got my ATM Version 2 upgrade. I can really tell a difference
in the speed. If you have a 386 or better processor, spend the
money on the upgrade for sure. I can't tell a difference in the
output on the screen or printer but all your present Type 1 fonts
should remain functional. My only complaint is that I ordered the
upgrade on November 25th and got it on February 4th.
---------------
Would you like for your WordPerfect for Windows to load a
little quicker? If you have a decent sized RAMdisk, direct the
temporary files there by using the command line switch "/d-x:"
where "x" is the drive letter for the RAMdisk. Otherwise,
WordPerfect will create a temporary subdirectory under WPWIN. I
guess it's too hard to use the TEMP environment variable - I
thought that's what it was there for.
---------------
Sierra's outrageous Laffer Utilities is now available in a
Windows version. All the features are the same, but now you can do
"everything you do at the office that has nothing to do with work"
in the Windows environment.
--------------
FILE EXPRESS 5.1
I love Expressware's File Express. It's fast and easy to use,
yet fairly powerful for a flat-file database (I think it's far
superior to PC-File). When they came out with Version 5, there
were some problems, however. Everyone I know had problems with
databases being locked as if they were on a network (but weren't).
Some labels and reports wouldn't print out right and setting
spacing on printouts was a hassle.
Well, it looks like they're listening, because these problems
and more have been taken care of with Version 5.1. They've brought
back autospacing on labels which makes layout a lot easier. The
network locking can be turned off in the setup program so those of
us not on a network won't get locked out of our files.
And there have been a number of new features added. By
placing your cursor on a phone number, you can press CTRL-D and it
will dial your phone. They've added more Quick Scan fields and you
can also jump when searching. For example, say you're looking for
last names beginning with "S", you can jump to the "S" section
quicker. Also, Quick Scan and Find Records can be switched between
with just a keystroke and you now have saveable Quick Scan setups
for frequently used queries.
File Express now uses about 80K less memory and works better
with DOS 5. They've included a PIF file and a nice ICO icon for
Windows users. You can also have selective indexes, increment
fields, and a number of different enhancements.
In the area of memory management, File Express now makes use
of whatever conventional, expanded, or extended memory is available
- automatically. There is even an EMSCHECK program included to
make sure your EMS driver will work properly.
=================================
DISCLAIMER
RAndY's RumOR RaG is published on a monthly basis by AINSWORTH
COMPUTER SERVICES and is available on various BBS's, GEnie, and
America Online as well as in Modem News.
In case anyone cares, RAndY's RumOR RaG is produced on a DTK
386-33 with 16 megs of memory, Cyrix Fasmath co-processor, ATI VGA
Wonder+ card (1 MB), 105 MB Toshiba IDE hard drive, Teac 1.2 MB,
360K, and 1.44 MB floppies, Sceptre SVGA display, Microsoft mouse,
WordPerfect for Windows and transmitted through a US Robotics HST
Dual Standard modem.
Opinions expressed are those of the author. Comments should
be addressed to Ainsworth Computer Services on GEnie, America
Online, phone, analog mail, or whatever method makes you feel good.
AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES
605 W. Wishkah
Aberdeen, WA 98520-6031
(206) 533-6647
GEnie Address: RAG
America Online: RumOR RaG
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AxA
VAPORWARE
1992 Murphy Sewall
From the March 1992 APPLE PULP
H.U.G.E. Apple Club (E. Hartford) News Letter
$24/year
P.O. Box 18027
East Hartford, CT 06118
Call the "Bit Bucket" (203) 257-9588
Permission granted to redistribute with the above citation
These are rumors folks; we reserve the right to be dead wrong!
Super Bowl Revisited.
Apple's marketing suits want to introduce the next generation of
RISC-based Apple PowerPC's on January 20, 1994. That's the tenth
anniversary of the introduction of the Macintosh with the famous "1984"
Super Bowl commercial. Although the advertising agencies have nearly
two years to try and match that singular commercial, the engineers are
dubious about their part. An actual version of proposed CPU won't be
available until late this year at the earliest. Fine tuning and testing
the Taligent operating system for the new box in under fourteen months
just doesn't seem very likely. - MacWeek 10 February
Windows Compatible.
The notion of "IBM compatible" no longer has much practical meaning.
So, this month Microsoft will launch a logo campaign certifying PCs as
"Windows compatible" (one logo for machines that can run Windows and
another for machines sold with Windows pre-installed). Microsoft and
Zif Davis Publishing also are developing a benchmark, dubbed the
"Winstone," to rate how fast Windows runs on a PC. But, will be
possible to calculate Winstone equivalents for Macintoshes and Sun
workstations? - PC Week 3 February
Standard Text Services.
Many computer users find they are using valuable hard drive space on
multiple dictionaries for different word processing, desktop publishing,
and other editing programs. Now more than a dozen developers including
Aldus, Baseline, Claris, Deneba, T/Maker, and Word Perfect have met to
review an Apple events suite that will allow users to select single
spell checker, thesaurus, hyphenation, and grammar checking packages to
use with all applications requiring such text utilities.
- MacWeek 27 January
Compound Documents.
Apple has unveiled a new file formatting standard named "Bento" (a
Japanese term for "boxed lunch"). Bento will let documents contain
different types of data (text, graphics, sounds, tables, and so forth)
tagged so that applications can find and use only the portions they
recognize. - MacWeek 20 January
Penned up.
Although pen-based computers have been greatly touted (see September
1990, April and August 1991, and last January's columns) only a small
number of the products introduced at last Fall's Comdex have shipped.
Bob Owens, director of marketing communications for Poquet, believes
that "the lead time to develop a core of broad-based applications will
probably go into 1993..." - InfoWorld 10 February
Coming Attractions.
January's Demo '92 Conference featured a demonstrations of Lotus's
groupenabling for spreadsheets and a 3-D interface for the Macintosh.
Chronicle by Lotus will be an enhancement to existing spreadsheets which
permits alternative values to ranges (with time and date stamps).
Chronicle simplifies the process of specifying "what-if" scenarios.
Vitrus Vision from North Carolina's Vitrus Corporation permits Macintosh
users to simply create and navigate through three-dimensional front ends
for existing applications. Apple demonstrated a QuickTime program which
can be used with a video camera to create a "virtual space" and navigate
through it. Apple also demonstrated handwriting and speech recognition
tools that are planned as future extensions for System 7.
- InfoWorld and PC Week 3 February
New Chip Technology.
Indiumphosphide could be a major advance over Silicon as a basis for
computer chips. Indiumphosphide can be perform the same functions as
Silicon with the added advantages of being faster and also able to focus
laser beams used in optic fiber communications. Currently, manufacture
of Indiumphosphide wafers is not cost competitive with Silicon, but
several research laboratories are at work on the problem. As usual,
American efforts are largely independent while the Japanese have mounted
a nationally coordinated research effort to develop commercial
applications. - CNN Science and Technology Today 1 February
Lightweight.
Apple has been talking to Sharp about incorporating some of the Sharp
Wizard's calendar and phone book technology into its forthcoming
Personal Digital Assistants (see last September's column). The less
than one pound device also is expected to have pen-input and a price
under $600. - PC Week 10 February
Heavyweight.
BitWise Designs is readying a 50 MHz i486 portable with a 1,280 by 1,024
pixel, 21 inch gas plasma display. The 21 by 18 by 7 inch Excelsior
will ship with 8 MByte of RAM (expandable to 32 MByte), four ISA
expansion slots, and a 180 MByte hard disk. At 38 pounds, this $10,000
to $15,000 device is more luggable than portable.
- PC Week 10 February
ACE For Real.
Silicon Graphics intends to begin shipping high end ($28,000 to $43,000)
graphics workstations based on the MIPS R4000 CPU this month. These
workstations will be the first computers built around the RISC chip
selected by the ACE Consortium (see last May's column). Industry
observers expect to see volume shipments of other R4000 workstations in
the 60 SPECmark range (roughly 10 to 12 times the power of a Macintosh
Quadra or a 50 MHz i486 PC) for under $10,000 by September.
- InfoWorld 3 February
Mainframe Windows.
Microsoft and DEC are negotiating over a Windows NT implementation for
DEC's Alpha chip (64-bit RISC processor) which will be the heart of
Digital's forthcoming new systems to replace the aging installed base of
VAX minicomputers. Windows NT for the Alpha series would compete
directly with the ACE Consortium's MIPS R4000 version. Among the
details under consideration is whether DEC would be able to sublicense
the port of Windows NT to Cray Research. Cray has been examining the
Alpha chip among others for a proposed line of massively parallel
processing machines. One tipster swears he's seen a beta of Windows NT
running on a Macintosh. - PC Week 20 and 27 January
Windows 3.1
The planned launch date for Microsoft Windows 3.1 is April 6 (see last
months column). - InfoWorld 3 February
The NeXTstep.
NeXTstep 486 (see January's column) is expected in the third quarter for
$995. A $3,495 NeXT Color PostScript Level 2 bubblejet printer should
ship in the second quarter, and NeXT's own version 3.0 is due before
summer. CEO Steve Jobs also announced a new NeXT family built around
the 33 MHz Motorola 68040 CPU. - MacWeek 27 January
Object Oriented Spreadsheet.
Lotus corporation has a complete, object oriented rewrite of it's core
spreadsheet product underway. The current 1-2-3 Windows is essentially
character-based code with a Windows interface. The new product,
codenamed Walden, is described as "graphical to the bone." Among the
key features will be visually oriented scripting, ability to organize
data and objects using a book metaphor, and Chronicle technology (see
above). The target release date is year's end, but knowledgeable
insiders say that Walden is a 1993 (or later) product. However, some
Walden features may appear in a 1-2-3 for Windows upgrade by midsummer.
- PC Week 20 January
Quattro Pro 4.0
Beta testers describe the forthcoming Quattro Pro 4.0 for DOS as an
industrial strength two dimensional spreadsheet. New features include a
customizable button bar and Novell network support. Even so, version
4.0 is not a competitor to Quattro Pro for Windows which features a
three dimensional metaphor. - InfoWorld 27 January
Excel 4.0
Microsoft plans to ship another upgrade to its popular Macintosh
spreadsheet in July. Among the new features will be: a customizable
floating toolbar, drag and drop ranges of cells, spreadsheet workbooks,
an intelligent auto-fill command, and a "scenario manager" for "what if"
comparisons. - PC Week 3 February and MacWeek 10 February
SAS For Windows.
SAS Institute has begun beta testing its entire line of data analysis
and decision support products for Windows. Pricing will start at $895
for a first year license renewable for $395. - PC Week 3 February
Intel Processor Blitz.
Intel plans to introduce 30 new processors by the end of the year. Most
will be variants of the company's 80386 and i486 lines, but two versions
of the next generation i586 (codenamed P5) CPU are due in sample
quantities by late summer. the 586 will contain 3 million transistors
and hum along at 100 MIPS. Intel President and CEO Andrew Grove expects
the introduction of the i586 at the high end will soon lead to 32-bit
80386 PC's for under $1,000.
- PC Week 27 January and InfoWorld 10 February
System 7 Lite?
Apple's CD-ROM consumer products (see last month's column) will ship
with a new version of System 6 with a Finder that mimics many of System
7's features (aliases, custom icons, expanded Apple menu, and drag and
drop application launching). Office oriented features, such as personal
file sharing and publish and subscribe will not be included. Currently
referred to as the "SE Plus," the under $2,000 system is designed around
the Motorola 68020 CPU. - InfoWorld 20 January and MacWeek 10 February
OS/2 Heavy?
The shrink wrapped (release) version 2.0 of OS/2 will gobble up 25
MBytes of hard disk. A "minimal" version can be squeezed into a svelte
18 MBytes (and Macintosh users complain about how hard it is to make a
bootable System 7 floppy disk). Tom Steele, director of IBM's Personal
Programming Center, has indicated that the March 31 shipping date will
slip if major problems are detected in the remaining beta testing.
Don't look for any third party device drivers though because IBM hasn't
made developer kits available. - InfoWorld 10 and 17 February
IBM Notebook Delayed.
Big Blue postponed the expected 25 February introduction of it's 16 MHz
386SX notebook until the end of March in order to review the machine's
market and price position. One criticism of the notebook is that it's
underpowered relative to the mostly 20 MHz competition. Along with the
notebook, IBM plans to introduce an 11 pound 20 MHz 386SX color laptop.
The company hopes to keep the color model's list price with 4 MBytes of
RAM and an 80 MByte hard drive under $8,000.
- PC Week 10 February and InfoWorld 17 February
Wireless Networks.
Motorola is promising to ship the DOS version of its WaveGuide wireless
communications toolkit (see the March 1991 column) by the end of the
winter. The Mac version will ship later this year.
- InfoWorld 20 January
Volume Retailing.
Compaq has decided not to field a model to be marketed by mail order,
but remains committed to low-cost desktop and notebook computers. The
outlet for Apple's "consumer products" (see last month's column and
above) seems likely to be Sears. - InfoWorld and MacWeek 3 February
Video Processing in a Mail Order i486.
Dell Computer will begin shipping an i486-based computer with built in
video processing by midyear. The video option will add less than $1,000
to the price of the machines. On site maintenance will be available
nationwide from BancTec Services. - InfoWorld 3 February
New Graphics Packages.
Adobe plans to ship Illustrator 4.0 for Windows in the second quarter.
The Windows version will be compatible with Illustrator files made on
other platforms and include editing in preview mode, context sensitive
help, and enhanced color support. The $695 program, which competes with
CorelDraw, will be bundled with Adobe Type Manager, Adobe Type Align,
Adobe Separator, 40 typefaces, and a selection of patterns symbols and
borders. The upgrade from an earlier Windows version will be $99.
Meanwhile, CorelDraw 3.0 is in beta. The program with improved
presentation capabilities will debut this summer.
- InfoWorld 27 January and 17 February
April Macattractions.
The April debut of the Macintosh LC II (aka the LC/30) is old news by
now (see last month's column), but late word is that new software will
be needed for the Apple //e card, and because the card isn't System 7
compatible, the LC's ROM will accept 6.0.8. Apple also will introduce
an 80 MByte hard drive for the PowerBook 140 and 170, and Word Perfect
will ship LetterPerfect for the Macintosh ($199). Even though
LetterPerfect won't have as many features as Mac WordPerfect 2.1, it
will have spell checking, a thesaurus, and be able to wrap text around
graphics. A/UX 3.0 with full System 7 support also will ship in April
(free on CD-ROM to users who purchased A/UX 2.1 after 30 October 1991).
A/UX 4.0 (merged with IBM's AIX) based on the Open Systems Foundation
UNIX kernel is planned for 1993 or '94.
- InfoWorld 20 January and MacWeek 27 January and 17 February
Not Coming Soon.
In May, Apple will finally release an alpha version of the printing
architecture originally described in 1989 (for System 7). The public
won't be able to drop documents onto desktop printer icons until
sometime next year. The new, considerably faster LaserWriter driver
(see last November's column), originally promised for this spring is
delayed until summer. The new driver should be worth the wait; the
Print Manager also is being rewritten to produce PostScript code more
quickly. Performance improvements are alleged to be up to ten times
quicker for PostScript Level 2 printers. The Quadra 950 (33 MHz 68040)
won't ship in April (see last month's column) as originally planned.
Motorola is experiencing terrible yields on the 33 MHz '040 chips. Even
the most recent August introduction date remains in doubt. Some key
members of Claris's MacWrite Pro development team have left recently.
Claris still hopes to release the upgrade originally planned for last
October by midsummer. Apple finally gave key developers a briefing on
its AppleScript (see last December's column) last January. A user
product is still "many months" away.
- MacWeek 3 and 10 February and a note in my electronic mailbox
Solaris Ship Date in Jeopardy.
Industry publications are now confirming this column's report last
November that SunSoft's Solaris 2.0 is "riddled with bugs" that are
unlikely to be fixed in time for its scheduled June shipping date. CEO
Scott McNealy's assertion that the new operating system will ship or
"heads will roll" even sounds like deja vu from the earlier report. The
ship date for the Intel version has already slipped from the first half
of the year until the third quarter. - InfoWorld 17 February
Not Coming At All.
Lotus has decided not to ship the Windows version of Magellan on the
grounds that they don't want to be in the low-end utilities business.
Apparently, the company also is unwilling to sell the program back to
developer Bill Gross. - InfoWorld 17 February
More System 7 Tune-ups.
Apple plans to offer several more system extensions, including OCE -
Open Collaboration Environment, the new print architecture (above),
Mac-PC Exchange (see last month's column), and possibly another bug
fixing "Tune Up" later this year. A major system update (System 7.1?)
won't be released until sometime next year. However, another full
system update (7.0.2?) may be released with Apple's new models in order
to support "CPU update" extensions. - MacWeek 17 February
More PostScript Level 2 Clones.
Pipeline Associates and Destiny Technology have announced they will join
Phoenix Technology (see January's column) in producing Level 2
compatible PostScript interpreters for printers scheduled for
introduction later this year (as early as May). - MacWeek 3 February
New PaintWriter.
Hewlett Packard plans to replace its 180 dpi color inkjet printer with a
300 dpi PaintWriter next month. The new unit will include PostScript
Level 2. - PC Week 3 February
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Return to Page One
Point Software: What and Why?
by Maria L. Langer*
The Electronic Pen BBS
201-767-6337
Bulletin Board Systems are among the most convenient and cost
effective ways to communicate with people. Dial into a BBS and access
message areas for specific interests: writing, computing, travel,
cars, cooking, programming, photography, or literally hundreds of
other topics. Read what other BBS callers have to say. Ask
questions. Get answers. Make friends.
A BBS hooked into the FidoNet network takes communication a step
further. With 10,000 member BBSs worldwide, a BBS caller can
communicate with people around the world. Usually for free (or the
cost of a phone call).
Communicating via BBS has it's drawbacks, however. Let's look at
them:
1) When you access a BBS, you need to learn the System Operator's
setup to find your way around. You need to learn BBS commands to
read, write, edit, and save messages. These will be similar but
different on every BBS you call.
2) Long messages have a tendency to scroll off your screen as you read
them. There is often no way to scroll back up to read what you
missed. You may not be able to quote parts of messages in your reply.
And online message editing can be a real pain, putting you at the
mercy of your own typing skills.
3) Sometimes you can't get through to a BBS. You get repeated busy
signals or messages that the BBS is processing network mail and can't
be accessed by human callers.
4) Your access time determines the number of messages you can read.
Many systems allow only 30 to 60 minutes per caller per day. Is this
enough time to read all the messages you're interested in? For
example, if you're interested in the COOKING, WRITING, or ECHOMAC
conference, each with over 100 new messages a day, 60 minutes will go
by very quickly. There's also no guarantee that the SysOp will keep
that many messages online. That means you could actually miss
messages addressed to you when the system purges old or excess
messages! And even if you can get all your messages read in 60
minutes -- how does that 60 minutes look on your phone bill?
5) Interruptions can ruin an online session. The doorbell rings. The
dog wants to go out. Your son wants you to help him with his
homework. Your husband is burning dinner. Leave your computer while
you tend to these things and you'll be automatically logged off for
inactivity and lose your place in the message reading process.
Enter point software.
Point software makes it possible for your computer to automatically
call a FidoNet-compatible BBS, retrieve messages in any areas you're
interested in, sort the messages by area and date, and provide a
user-friendly message reading and writing interface. It saves time by
avoiding all the logons, menus, and commands of a BBS and by picking
up messages in a compressed format. It adds convenience by letting
you pick the time to read and respond to messages. It saves money by
greatly reducing your time online without reducing the flow of
information.
Let's take a moment to discuss how FidoNet "EchoMail conferences"
(message areas) work. A Fido-Net compatible BBS is a node. It calls
(or is called by) another node that participates in the same
conference(s). The messages are "packaged" before the call. This
means all the EchoMail messages shared by the two BBSs are sorted into
one or more files and compressed. When the call is made, the two nodes
exchange packages. This happens very quickly because the messages are
compressed and communication is made at the highest possible speed
between the two computers. Then the two nodes hang up. Each node
"processes" the incoming messages. This means uncompressing the
messages, sorting them onto message areas, and then packaging outgoing
messages for other nodes that also share the conference(s). Calls are
usually made during the night when phone rates are inexpensive.
Sometimes calls are made more than once a day. The more often calls
are made, the quicker the EchoMail gets moved around.
Point software turns your computer into a "mini-node." You can call a
"boss node" (the system you get your mail from) but can't receive
calls. When you call your boss, the messages that have been packaged
for you are automatically sent to your computer for processing. At
the same time, any messages you wrote are sent to the boss. You're
online a very short time -- usually less than five or ten minutes,
depending on your modem speed and the volume of the EchoMail areas you read. When your computer disconnects, the point software processes
the packages just like a regular node does. But rather than put
messages into a BBS, the point software puts the messages into a
convenient reader. You read and respond to messages with a word
processor-like window. You can quote messages you're replying to.
When you're done, all your outgoing messages are packaged for the next
call to the boss.
How does all this overcome the drawbacks mentioned earlier? Let's
take them one at a time.
1) BBS setup, menus, and commands. You don't have to worry about
these because point software bypasses all of it.
2) Message reading and writing. Point software gives you a friendly
message reading/writing environment, complete with the ability to
quote messages and have your own witty "tag line."
3) Getting through to a BBS. Some point software packages can be
configured to redial a number until a connection is made. And all
point software packages can access a BBS while it is down for network
mail.
4) Time for reading messages, time online, phone bills. All the
messages that have been received since your last call will be sent to
you when you call (with some exceptions; discuss this with your
SysOp). You won't miss any. And you can read them at your leisure
rahter than while the clock is ticking your online time away. As for
time online, all messages are compressed for transfer. You can expect
to cut online time by as much as 90% when you use point software to
get the same messages you would have gotten manually. And some point
software can be configured to call in the middle of the night -- and
shut down the computer when it's done. This saves you money by
calling when phone rates are cheapest.
5) Interruptions. No problem. When the dog wants to go out, let him
out. And get yourself a cup of coffee or a soda at the same time.
When you come back to your computer, the messages will be waiting
there for you -- right where you left off.
Point software can also handle file transfers. Make a file request
from your boss and you'll get the file on your next call. If your
boss node subscribes to a file distribution network like MSDN or SDN,
you may be able to subscribe as well -- and get the latest files
distributed right to your computer when you call.
Many System Operators are enthusiastic about supporting points. They
see point software as a way to enable more callers to access the BBS
without the addition of costly phone lines and multiple-node setups.
They have utilities that automate the changing of point setups and the
forwarding of mail to points. Some SysOps are so enthusiastic that
they've changed their BBSs to a points-only setup. This may become a
popular trend in the future.
Right now, there are two complete point software packages for
Macintosh users: MacWoof and Copernicus II.
MacWoof is a shareware product by Craig Vaughan, available on most
BBSs. It is a basic pointing package that is easy to set up and use.
It costs $25. You can get support for MacWoof through the MACWOOF
FidoNet conference. Craig Vaughan can be reached via FidoNet NetMail
(private mail) at 1:109/342.365.
Copernicus II is a commercial software package by Michael Pester and
Michael Connick, working together as Software Designs. It is
distributed by Silver City Software, PO Box 1661, Sparks, NV
89432-1661, voice phone: 702-828-2929. It has most of the features of
MacWoof and many more. It retails for $59.95 but can be purchased
through an introductory offer for $49.95 plus shipping. You can get
support for Copernicus II through the MANSION FidoNet conference.
Michael Pester can be reached via FidoNet NetMail at 1:290/2 and
Dennis Thieme (Silver City Software) can be reached via FidoNet
NetMail at 1:213/777.11.
For DOS systems, there are no complete point software packages. There
is, however, EZPoint, a freeware package by Ron Bemis that contains a
program and instructions for setting up a point on a DOS-based
computer. It requires a mailer (like BinkleyTerm), an editor (like
QEdit), a compression/decompression software package (like
PKARC/PKXARC), and a fossil driver (like XOO.SYS). These programs are
shareware or freeware programs and are available on most DOS BBSs.
Ron Bemis can be reached via FidoNet NetMail at 1:124/1113.
If you regularly call a FidoNet-compatible BBS to take advantage of
its excellent communcation capabilities, why not do yourself a favor?
Give point software a try. You'll be glad you did.
About the Author
Maria L. Langer is a freelance writer and Macintosh computer
consultant. Her first Macintosh book, "The Macintosh Shareware Book,"
will be published by Brady Books in July 1992. You can contact Maria
by US Mail at P.O. Box 212, Harrington Park, NJ 07640-0212 or by
Electronic Mail at any of the following addresses: FidoNet:
1:2605/157; CompuServe: 70461,1663; America Online: MariaL1; or
AppleLink: MLANGER. Or call her BBS, The Electronic Pen, at
201-767-6337.
* "Point Software: What and Why?" is copyrighted 1991-1992 by Maria L.
Langer. All rights reserved. Used with permission.....
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ModemNews Magazine Issue 38
April 1992
Copyright
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my
experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme
Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme
Disease, then the service.
I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods
when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked
about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got
and flu like symptoms.
After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three
surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced
continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints,
constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal
pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors
felt I had chronic appendicitis.
Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis".
Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One
of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the
test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V.
steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did
restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures,
lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the
hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive.
Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem
but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps
testing for MS and Lupus proved negative.
Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme
Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were
marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a
miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength
to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have
been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I
continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal
Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband
has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my
constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but
his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't
know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in
July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself
and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my
independence dramatically.
Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are
several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive
away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I
decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself
and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day &
7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we
have the energy for it.
The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed
with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set
your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo
Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can
exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you
can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you
have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board
upload it or send it to me:
Anne Bussell
The Lyme Light BBS
14413 Hendricks
Warren,MI 48089
I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and
share with the public.
Amberle Stargazer
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Shower name corona australids
Date of maximum Mar 16
Rate p/h at maximum
Radiant (1950 coord) 16h20m-48d
Sky position Norma
Velocity km/s
Comments barley above horizon
------------------
Shower name camelopardalids
Date of maximum Mar 22
Rate p/h at maximum
Radiant (1950 coord) 07h50m+68d
Sky position Camelopardalis
Velocity km/s 7
Comments slowest of all(6.8km/s)
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This is the place where you can send us your opinions on just about any item that crosses your mind. We're easy.
Feel free to send us your opinions and missives without fear of retribution. Just send them to us as a simple ASCII text file to:
ModemNews EXPRESS! BBS
203 359.2299
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April 1 1992
ModemNews EXPRESS! 203 359.2299
This is a list of ModemNews NewsStands. You can always find the latest
issues of ModemNews at any of these BBS's and we encourage you to
frequent them as a regular member, or just as a guest.
If for some reason any of these BBS's do NOT have the current issue
available for you, please let us know as soon as possible.
NewsStand SysOps MUST call us once each 30 days to let us know that they
are still up and running, and current with our issues. This will insure
that this listing is as accurate as it can be. Please call before the
15th. You may also leave us notice in our RelayNet Conference.
>>> NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and
>>> may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from
>>> this list on April 15th unless we hear from their SysOps before
>>> NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and
>>> may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from
>>> this list on April 15th.
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The listings below are updated daily as we hear from each NewsStand. We encourage you to call these BBS's. Tell them you saw them listed in ModemNews!
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Readers,
Well. This is certainly a departure for ModemNews Magazine. A Windows version of our three year old publication. We have wanted to do this for the longest time, yet it was never of low priority to us. Getting the magazine out on a regular monthly basis was the true test, and of utmost importance.
We tried to use Visual Basic but none of us were smart enough to figure out how it worked. We looked at other products and couldn't find anything that would work for us as well as Toolbook. It's slow and cludgy. It was expensive for us, but our need to get ourselves onto other platforms outweighed everything else.
Nevertheless, this is a test. Really. I know it probably looks nice (patting myself on the back). Afterall we went through 5 complete revisions of the interface before we settled on this one. We debated the use of buttons vs. fields. Graphics vs. file size.
We want your opinions on this. Either call us at our BBS (203) 359.2299 or if you got this from the Asymetrix BBS leave me mail there. Your opinions count. They must as, otherwise we wouldn't be here three years later!
We would like to thank Dan from Asymetrix Techincal Support for his enouragement. Thanks Dan.
(Okay, so since we've come this far, how about a freebie on the Multi-Media Toolbook. We promise we'll use it!)
Happy reading,
Jeff Green, Publisher
ModemNews Magazine
ModemNews EXPRESS! BBS
203 359.22999
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Announcements
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"Where Have All the Bad Guys Gone?"
Michael D. Berman
With the collapse of the Soviet Union (destined to become the most
overused phrase of the year), the question must be raised: Where will
the United States turn for an enemy? After all, the USSR had the whole
maleficent package: a frightening, dehumanizing ideology, the world's
largest, fiercest army, and a network of satellites and puppet
governments, all bent on crushing the American Way of Life under their
atheistic, hob-nailed heels. The Soviets gave us threatening phrases
and malefactors for every generation: from "the missiles of October" to
"the evil empire," from Joseph Stalin to Boris Badenov and Natasha.
Even their color was sinister. It evoked rivers of blood, eternal
hellfire, and that traffic signal you ran and got nailed at. Now, in
one fell swoop, all that beautiful wickedness is kaput.
Americans need adversaries. What would the Mission Impossible team
be without maniacal Third World despots? Or the Republican Party
without "welfare recipients"? When Darth Vader bought the farm, this
nation wept. And imagine what poor Tom Clancy is going through. How
will he measure up to "The Hunt For Red October" and "The Cardinal of
the Kremlin" in light of the New World Order? "The Icelandic Scourge"
and "At Dawn, Switzerland!" just won't cut it on the bestseller lists.
Americans demand more.
But all is not lost. There are a host of candidates which might,
with the right mix of paranoia, totalitarianism and xenophobia, fill
the vacuum of evil that came about when the hammer and sickle rusted
away:
o The early returns on the Commonwealth of Independent States
indicate that one or more of these new nations could supplant the
Big Bad Bear. Let us not forget that Uncle Joe Stalin was a
Georgian. The chance that one of the former vassal republics might
belch forth a new and improved dictator is not beyond the realm of
possibility (though, admittedly, it would be difficult to take
someone called the "The Terror of Tajikistan" seriously). The smart
money's on Ukraine, aka, "The Republic With an Attitude"
"Not the
Ukraine. Just Ukraine. Actually, Mister Ukraine to you." All
Ukraine needs is one madman to claim Finders Keepers privileges
with the ICBMs on its soil, and before you know it, Chicken Kiev
will be a four-letter word from sea to shining sea.
Not that Ukraine is the only former Soviet missile parking lot to
worry about. If our Michael Jordan-led Olympic basketball team
starts to run up the score against Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan in
Barcelona, don't stick around for the final buzzer. Just head for
the basement and lock the door. The post-game repercussions,
mushroom clouds and all, will make the British soccer riots look
like a thumbwrestling match.
o Even a month ago, the world's terrorist organizations would
have been a pretty safe bets as new embodiments of all things
nasty. But since Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad have set most of
their hostages free, we've lost that hating feeling. However,
Algeria, with its recently elected fundamentalist Islamic
government, might be a dark horse. We'll have to wait and see.
The zealots' ascension is a promising start, but they won't reach
the Soviets' heinousness until they burn some American flags, start
lopping off limbs for parking violations, and get their hands on
some nuclear party favors.
o George Steinbrenner, though not a sovereign nation per se,
displays qualities similar to those of our favorite Soviet
dictators. He has fallen into disfavor and been ousted, but is now
making a push to be "rehabilitated" and brought back into the good
graces of the proletariat. Furthermore, the abysmal production of
the Yankees mirrors that of the Soviet economy.
o Germany is a perennial, as well as sentimental, favorite.
However, Deutscheland seems satisfied simply conquering the world
markets for now, so we can't count on them just yet. But when
Braun shavers start pushing Remington Micro-screens off store
shelves and into the dustbin of history, a new Anschluss won't be
far behind. You read it here first.
o Ditto for Japan. Even worse, Tokyo has "The Godzilla Option."
These are sad days, now that and John and Jane American have a
dearth of bad guys to check under their beds for. It may take a while
for the void to be filled. But fear not. Until the next "evil empire"
comes along, we can comfort ourselves. After all, we'll always have
Nixon to kick around.
Copyright 1992, Michael D. Berman
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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my
experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme
Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme
Disease, then the service.
I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods
when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked
about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got
and flu like symptoms.
After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three
surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced
continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints,
constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal
pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors
felt I had chronic appendicitis.
Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis".
Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One
of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the
test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V.
steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did
restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures,
lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the
hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive.
Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem
but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps
testing for MS and Lupus proved negative.
Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme
Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were
marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a
miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength
to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have
been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I
continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal
Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband
has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my
constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but
his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't
know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in
July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself
and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my
independence dramatically.
Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are
several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive
away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I
decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself
and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day &
7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we
have the energy for it.
The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed
with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set
your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo
Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can
exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you
can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you
have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board
upload it or send it to me:
Anne Bussell
The Lyme Light BBS
14413 Hendricks
Warren,MI 48089
I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and
share with the public.
Amberle Stargazer
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The death of our country will not come from an outside attack. No, if it comes, it will be slow, and from indifference, apathy and undernourishment.
This is where "I" get to pontificate.
Look at it this way. This being an election year, everyone else has had their chance to, so why not me? Afterall, if some sleazebag can get paid more than $100,000 to tell her sordid story to the whole world, shouldn't I have the same right for free? Truth is I have never in the past, nor will in the future, sleep with a presidential candidate. There! It's in the open. I wish the publishers of the "STAR" (or was it the "World Weekly News" or the "Inquirer") would see this so I can get MY check. Dont' worry. I'll split it with all of you who have sent in your shareware fees over the years. Fair is fare!
Bashing Nippon
When will the people of these United States stop trying to blame everyone else for our own problems. This is how it happens...
For a generation we Americans have been on a buying spree. We bought the whole damned world! Suppliers in this country just couldn't keep up with the ever increasing demand.
Sure, we had the best factories and the best workers, but you and I didn't want to pay the price for all those things. We wanted our VCR's and Camcorders on the cheap. So, I play Mister Business Owner and try to find a way to do that. I go to Mexico and build a factory where I can pay people less per day than I would have to pay an American worker per hour.
I thought the name of the game here was capitalism. If it is, then let the market dictate as it has. The market has driven tens of thousands, perhaps millions of jobs overseas, just so that the market (that means you and me) can get the same product at a lower price. Don't blame the Japanese.
Don't blame the Japanese for the losses the American auto industry has taken either.
During the oil crises of the '70's we went out in droves to buy more fuel effecient cars. Detroit said that we didn't want them. Huh? So what were we doing speeding around in our Toyotas and Hondas? Where else could we get a car that got 40 mpg unless we did business with Japan, and Sweden and France and Italy and England and...well just about everyone and everywhere BUT the good old USA.
General Motors Corporation gave bonuses to all its White Collar workers just before they laid off thousands of Blue Collar workers. Does this tell you something?
It does not explain why those laid off workers are blaming Toyota for their misfortunes. Seems as though they are barking up the wrong tree. Perhaps a few lynched VP's at GM might send the message to the right place. Come on guys! Don't try to make me feel guilty about the car I drive when your own bosses fight me every inch of the way. In a market economy "I" tell GM what I want, not the other way around. I'm sorry you had to take a beating over this, but blame your bosses. Not the Japanese and not American consumers. Aim your anger in the right direction and you will accomplish something. Stop fighting us! We ARE you.
The Elections
Here goes. Bill Clinton. If the Democratic party believes that slick Willie can beat Georgie Porgie they've got one hell of a surprise coming. It's not who he's been sleeping with. I don't care if he gets off on peanut butter and Mondrian prints. I'm interested in just what he will do when he gets to the White House. Is there a vision (thing) going here? With Billy boy... He says that he has always WANTED to be President. So what. So do I, but that's not reason enough to vote for the man.
You may view this differently than I do, and that's what this whole process is about, but let me warn you...Slick Willie is as sleazy as they come. He's an insider that is running for the White House to sate his own ego. beware the Arkansas Kid. Or is that Karate Kid. Hmmm....
Paul Tsongas. Okay he's not pretty and he has this funny speech thing going on. So what? FDR was in a wheelchair and his wife! they don't make 'em uglier than Eleanor Roosevelt. But what a woman! What a President!
Is there a vision? Is there confidence? Is there any inkling at all that Senator Tsongas can actually do the job he is seeking? I think so. I really do.
For a generation we have been electing Presidents on their looks and speech savvy and look where we are today. Not a pretty picture considering we've been electing pretty pictures.
Can Senator Tsongas beat George Butch? Hmm. Could be... I'll not place my bets for a while though. Stay tuned!
(Since this was written Senator Tsongas has removed himself from the campaign for the White House. It has been quite a shock to the entire presidential campaign. Senator Tsongas will be sorely missed)
Governor Jerry Brown
Will anyone listen to him? You should. He makes pretty good sense on a bunch of items. We at ModemNews called for a flat tax rate three years ago. And his cries about how the Congress and Senate are all on the same side? True, true true!
We had what's his name as VP for the last four years. Why not Jerry Brown?
Patrick J. Buchanan
If he gets his way, America will be a third world country in the space of 5 years. Stand clear of this charlatan. He's only trouble. Real trouble.
David Duke
The beauty of our system is that anyone can be President. even David Duke. Any state Republican committee chair or State Attorney General who tried to keep David Duke off the ballot should spend an election in North Korea. America is about diversity and fairness. Let the voters speak.
David Duke is running out of steam faster than I imagined he would. After living in the south for several years I knew he would have a following. but I thought it would last longer than it has. Good tidings, America! Can it be that our racist past is beginning to embarrass us? Good.
Bye, bye David. You were fun while you lasted. You will not be missed.
There are others running for the White House and we'll try to cover them as we can. You will not be reading about them in the mainstream press to be sure, but that is one of the reasons why we are here. To bring you information you will not get elsewhere.
Of course your input is essential! It has kept us going for these past three years and we can see no end in sight.
What do you think? We'd like to know!
PS. And so it goes... was Linda Ellerbee's log off on her too short lived late night news show. I used to stay up just to watch it. It was like NPR on television. Good news. Sorry it had to go. She was, from time to time featured on CNN and wrote a couple of pretty good books, but as of late I have not heard about her at all. I miss her and her irreverent comments about our lives.
Linda if you see this, forgive us. We've stolen your logoff. We're honest enough to tell you about it and poor enough so that if you sue us we'll have to wash dishes at your apartment for a long, long time. Maybe you'd have to force us to accept a monthly article from you!
Jeff Green
News and Views
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Disk based Books in Print
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DISK-BASED BOOKS_IN_PRINT
(Plus related disks and programs)
October 1991
Editor's notes:
The following list was made from catalogs, magazine articles, and rumors--the information is not guaranteed to be accurate. Anyone having further information about these or other disk-based publications can sent the information to:
Electronic Publishing Forum
Serendipity Systems
PO Box 140
San Simeon CA 93452
Publisher or distributor listed below as "Publisher."
Addresses for the publishers following the listings.
New listings (as of Oct., 1991) are marked (6).
Author: Dan Adams
Title: DANIELS POETRY
Category: Poetry
Interface: BATCH
Publisher: Dan Adams
Price: $2.00 (5.25" disk); $3.00 (3.5" disk)
Author: James David Audlin
Title: THE VOICE OF DAY
Category: Fiction-novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Notes: SoftServ prices listed here are for on-line files. For
on-disk copies, add $3.00 shipping and handling per title.
Author: James David Audlin
Title: THE WINGS OF MORNING
Category: Fiction - Novel
Interface: None
PubLisher: SoftServ
Price :$4.95
Author: James David Audlin
Title: THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME
Category: Fiction - Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4/95
Author: Michael A. Banks
Title: GETTING STARTED WITH REFLEX 2.0
Category: Computer book
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Authors: Michael A. Banks and Dean R. Lambe
Title: THE ODYSSEUS SOLUTION
Category: Science Fiction Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: David W. Batterson
Title: REVIEWS
Category: Reviews of Software/Hardware
Interface: ???
Publisher: David W. Batterson
Price: $10
Note: This is a shareware disk.
Author: David Byter
Title: SURVEY LAND YOURSELF
Category: Non-Fiction (Technical)
Interface: Browse
Publisher: Bookware (Serendipity Systems)
Price: $3.00
Note: this is a shareware disk
Author: Steve Catoe
Title: SILENT STADIUM
Category: Novel
Interface: Access
Publisher: Access
Price: $5.00
Author: Harlan Cleveland
Title: The Age of Choice
Category: Textbook (Political commentaries)
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price $14.95
Authors: Cox, Roger and Kathy
Title: SAVE THE PLANET, 1991
Category: Politics/Conservation
Interface: STP
Publisher: Save the Planet Software
Price: $20 (Includes 2 updates)
Notes: --Disk is updated each year
--Available as shareware
Author: DeParto, Dan
Title: THE DAYDREAMER
Category: Survivalist fiction
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: UserWare
Price: $12.00
Notes: 3 5.25" disks; includes: "Psychpathology of the Civilizer"
This is a shareware disk.
Author: Dan DeParto
Title: WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
Category: Philosophical essay
Interface: Serendipity
Publisher: Bookware
Price: $3.00
Note: This is a shareware disk.
Author: Michael DeSario
Title: DEADLY SECRETS
Category: Adventure Novel
Interface: Access
Publisher: Access
Price: $5.00
Author: Doyle, A. C.
Title: AN ELECTRONIC HOLMES COMPANION
Category: Detective
Interface: LIST
Publisher: PsyLogic Systems
Price: $62.95
Notes: 15 5.25" disks; also available on 3.5" disks.
A Macitosh version is also available.
>>> An abridged edition is available as shareware.
It contains the public domain Sherlock Holmes
stories.
Author: William Dubie
Title: THE BIRDHOUSE CATHEDRAL
Category: Poetry
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Easton, Thomas A.
Title: THE SCIENCE FICTION REVIEW LIBRARY
Category: Reviews
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: UserWare
Price: $4.00
Notes: Reviews from Analog
Author: Easton, Thomas A.
Title: TEN SCIENCE FICTION STORIES
Category: Short Stories-Sci.Fic.
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: UserWare
Price: $4.00
Note: also available from BPLAN Virtuals
Author: Easton, Thomas A.
Title: ALIEN RESONANCE
Category: Sicence fisction
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: BPLAN Virtuals
Price: $5.00 + $2.00 shipping per order
Author: Ellison, Harlan
Title: THE BEAST THAT SHOUTED LOVE AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD
Category: Short Stories
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Ellison, Harlan
Title: PAINGOD AND OTHER DELUSIONS
Category: Short Stories
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Ellison, Harlan
Title: THE GLASS TEAT
Category: Essays
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Gregory Forrest
Title: ARABCO
Category: Adventure Novel
Interface: Access
Publisher: Access
Price: $7.50
Author: James J. Franxman
Title: SOFTWARE - A NOVEL
Category: Mystery Novel
Interface: LIST
Publisher: Bookware (Serendipity Systems)
Price $4.00
Author: Freeman, Richard (Editor)
Title: PBW
Category: Quarterly Electronic Magazine
Interface: MacWrite files
Publisher: Freeman
Price: "$2.00 or trade"
Notes: Macintosh disks only - 10 issues on disk, first
5 isues on paper
Author: Freeman, Richard
Title: SERMONS FROM STONES
Category: Religion
Interface: MacWrite files
Publisher: Freeman
Price: "$2.00 or trade"
Note: Macintosh disk
Author: Freeman, Richard
Title: TAO TE CHING
Category: Translation
Interface: MacWrite files
Publisher: Freeman
Price: "$2.00 or trade"
Note: Macintosh disk
Author: Freeman, Richard
Title: ASS HOLE BUDDIES
Category: "Pornotopia" Novel
Interface: MacWrite files
Publisher: Freeman
Price: "$2.00 or trade"
Note: Macintosh disk
Author: Freeman, Richard
Title:METAMETAMORPHOSIS
Category: ?
Interface: MacWrite files
Publisher: Freeman
Price: "$2.00 or trade"
Note: Macintosh disk
Author: Galuszka, John (Editor)
Title: ELECTRONIC PUBLISHING FORUM
Category: Magazine
Interface: Serendipity
Publisher: Serendipity Systems
Price: $4.00 (Fee to copy and ship)
Notes: Freeware
Author: Giovanello, Guy
Title: LINES OF FIRE
Category: Action novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: 4.95
Author: Greene, Red
Title: HAWK'S LAST CASE
Category: Detective Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Greene, Red
Title: HAWK GOES HOLLYWOOD
Category: Detective Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Greene, Red
Title: HAWK GETS LIBERATED
Category: Detective Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Hargrove, Jake (Editor)
Title: MAGAZINE ON DISK
Category: Magazine
Interface: High Mesa
Publisher: High Mesa Publishing
Price: $???
Notes: Monthly
Author: Hargrove, N. L (Jake) [Editor]
Title: COMPUTER INFORMATION MONTHLY NEWS
Category: Magazine
Interface: High Mesa
Publisher: High Mesa Publishing
Price: $ .50 (back issues)
Notes: Freeware - On High Mesa BBS
13 issues as of 1/91
Author: Hargrove, N. L. (Jake)
Title: GRANITE STONE
Category: Science Fiction
Interface: Hign Mesa
Publisher: High Mesa Publishing
Price: $3.00
Author: Hargrove, N. L. (Jake)
Title: ASTRO-MINER
Category: Science Fiction
Interface: High Mesa
Publisher: Hign Mesa Publishing
Price: $3.00
Author: Hargrove, N. L. (Jake) [Editor]
Title: SHORT STORY DISK
Category: Short Stories
Interface: High Mesa
Publisher: High Mesa Publishing
Price: $3.00
Note: Several short story disks are available.
Author: Husted & Rhodes
Title: THE HITCHIKER'S GUIDE TO SCIENCE FICTION
Category: Reference
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: UserWare
Price: $4.00
Author: Husted, Ted
Title: IRIS
Category: PUBLISHING PROGRAM
Interface: ---
Publisher: UserWare
Price: $8.00 (registered copy)
Notes: Shareware disk
Manual on disk
PRISM: Advanced edition with built in text editor, $24.00
Author: Tiller Janes
Title: AMERICA'S GUTS
Category: Adventure Novel
Interface: Access
Publisher: Access
Price: $5.00
Author: Kirts, Keith
Title: SPACE SEX, OR TRICKS FOR GOLDFISH
Category: Humor/Science Fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Kirts, Keith
Title: THE DEVIL'S DRAINPIPE
Category: Science Fiction Novel ???
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Koman, Victor
Title: THE JEHOVAH CONTACT
Category: Religion/Science Fiction Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $$4.95
Author: Korman, Victor
Title: SOLOMON'S KNIFE
Category: Science Fiction Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Samuel Edward Konkin III
Title: NEW LIBERTARIAN MANIFESTO
Category: Political Manifesto
Interface: None:
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $3.50
Author: Lee, Sharon & Steve Miller
Title: THE NAMING OF KINZEL
Category: Fantasy
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: BPlan Virtuals
Price: $5.00
Note: Also available from UserWare and Bookware.
Author: Lee, Sharon and Steve Miller
Title: GNOTHI-KAIRON
Category: Scienc Fiction
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: BPLAN Virtuals
Price: $5.00 + $2.00 shipping per order
Author: Sharon Lerch
Title: FELLOW TRAVELERS
Category: Novella plus Short Stories
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Sharon Lerch
Title: SECURITY
Category: Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Paul Levinson
Title: DUCE OF A TIME
Category: Scienc Fiction Novel
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Paul Levinson
Title: ESSAYS ON CYBERSPACE AND ELECTRONIC EDUCATION
Category: Collected Essays
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: Paul Levinson
Title: ONLINES - CHRONICLES OF ELECTRONIC DAYS
Category: Collected Essays
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD
Category: Religious Science Fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: WHAT SHALL BE THE SIGN
Category: Religious Science Fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: THE TIME OF THE END
Category: Religious Science Fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: THE JESUS CASE
Category: Religious Science Fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: CANADIANA
Category: Non-fiction
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $4.95
Author: J.H. Kent Lyons
Title: THE SHORT FORM BIBLE
Category: Religion
Interface: None
Publisher: SoftServ
Price: $14.85
Author: Michelle Marr
Title: SHADOWFEST
Category: Horror Novella
Interface: LIST
Publisher: Bookware (Serendipity Systems)
Price $4.00
Author: Martin, R. (Editor)
Title: SHAREDEBATE INTERNATIONAL
Category: Magazine
Interface: IRIS
Publisher: Applied Foresight, Int.
Price: $5.00 - $25.00 (magazine subscriptions)
Notes: --Macintosh and Apple IIgs versions are available
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