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TIME: Almanac 1990s
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1994-03-25
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<text id=93TT1538>
<title>
Apr. 26, 1993: Reviews:Theater
</title>
<history>
TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1993
Apr. 26, 1993 The Truth about Dinosaurs
</history>
<article>
<source>Time Magazine</source>
<hdr>
REVIEWS, Page 68
THEATER
Three Men in A Hearse
</hdr>
<body>
<p>By WILLIAM A. HENRY III
</p>
<qt>
<l>TITLE: THREE MEN ON A HORSE</l>
<l>AUTHORS: John Cecil Holm And George Abbott</l>
<l>WHERE: Broadway</l>
</qt>
<p> THE BOTTOM LINE: Tony Randall and Jack Klugman play
another odd couple--but this time the laughs are like hen's
teeth.
</p>
<p> At a matinee last week, two matronly charter subscribers
to Tony Randall's National Actors Theater sat debating how much
longer they could be patient as the company evolves from the
third-rate productions of its first season to the mostly
second-rate ones now. The women never expected anything quite
as glorious as the marketing ballyhoo: America's best actors
performing the world's greatest plays. But as one said, "We're
guinea pigs." Although they grumblingly concluded they would
renew, their conversation reflected the low stature N.A.T. has
attained, save for an intelligent, innovative The Seagull. This
"national" troupe is like a middling regional theater with
glittery casting.
</p>
<p> Casting is surely the main draw for its season finale, a
revival of the flimsy 1935 comedy Three Men on a Horse that
opened last week. Randall and his Odd Couple TV partner Jack
Klugman are paired for the first time ever in parts other than
fussy Felix and macho Oscar--but not very much other. Randall
plays a fey, naive would-be poet who writes greeting-card verses
and as a hobby handicaps horse races. Klugman plays a boozing,
brawling professional bettor who discovers that Randall never
picks the wrong horse and press-gangs him into partnership. In
lesser roles are such familiar stage and screen faces as John
Beal, Joey Faye, Ellen Greene, Julie Hagerty, Zane Lasky and
Jerry Stiller. With John Tillinger, one of the ablest directors
of comedy, at the helm, the show gives every promise of
amusement.
</p>
<p> Promises, it seems, are made to be broken. The event might
be called Three Men in a Hearse. Randall is decades too old for
his role and tries to compensate with Shirley Temple cuteness.
Klugman, who has had throat surgery, speaks in a rasp that is
always painful and only sometimes comprehensible from the
seventh row. The play, which George Abbott adapted from John
Cecil Holm's work Hobby Horses, was written for the more
indulgent audiences of 58 years ago. Perhaps its cheery view of
compulsive gambling, drinking until passing out, male dominance
and spousal abuse seemed innocuous then; it is repellent today.
The performances are even coarser. While the second half is at
least less soporific than the first, there's not a moment of
believable emotion or realistic behavior.
</p>
<p> Klugman still plays tough guys as well as anyone in terms
of face and gesture. But the voice is an essential instrument
for an actor, and his now lacks both resonance and nuance. Some
spectators ache for him, others squirm in discomfort, but few
can immediately lose themselves in the character and story
line. Randall, who played comedy with depth and complexity on
his TV series Love, Sidney, is hammy onstage, if less
excruciatingly so here than in a Feydeau farce last season.
</p>
<p> Randall does have one exquisite moment to suggest what
could have been. Reeling with a hangover, he sits at a table to
take an aspirin. His fluttering hands drop it to the floor with
an audible click, but he doesn't notice. He just fingers empty
air into his mouth, sips water and swallows with a perfectly
timed toss of his head and palpitation in his throat. Alas, one
swallow does not a bummer unmake.
</p>
</body>
</article>
</text>