PC Action 1997 February/PCA0297.ISO/menue/privat/97020270.txt

Text File | 1996-12-11 | 8KB | 326 lines

99
Ferengi Regeln
Vampire
ST CHAT
An Alle Trekkies in dieser
Box: Die Ferengiregeln aus
dem Internet. Da die Regeln
jemand aus den Serien zu-
sammengesammelt hat, sind
sie leider lückenhaft, und
manchmal doppelt nummeriert.
Zudem sind sie auf Englisch.
Viel Spass !
Last updated Jun 27.

1.Once you have their money,
 you never give it back.
1.If they want their money
 back, give it to them.
3.Never spend more for an
 Acquisition than you have
 to.
4.A woman wearing clothes is
 like a man in the kitchen.
6.Never allow family to
 stand in the way of
 opportunity.
7.Keep your ears open.
8.Only a fool passes up a
 business opportunity.
8.Small print leads to
 large risk.
9.Opportunity plus instinct
 equals profit.
10.Greed is eternal.
10.Greed is dead.
12.Anything worth doing is
 worth doing for money.
13.Anything worth doing is
 worth doing twice.
16.A deal is a deal
 (...until a better one
 comes along).
17.A contract is a contract
 is a contract--but only
 between Ferengi.
18.A Ferengi without profit
 is no Ferengi at all.
19.Satisfaction is not
 guaranteed.
20.Only give money to people
 you know you can steal
 from.
21.Never place friendship
 before profit.
21.Never place profit before
 friendship.
22.A wise man can hear
 profit in the wind.
22.Latinum tarnishes, but
 family is forever.
23.Money can never replace
 dignity.
24.Latinum can't buy happy-
 ness, but you can sure have
 a blast renting it.
25.There's always a way out.
26.As the customers go, so
 goes the wise profiteer.
27.There's nothing more
 dangerous than an honest
 businessman.
31.Never make fun of a
 Ferengi's mother.
 (...insult something he
 cares about, instead).
33.It never hurts to suck
 up to the boss.
34.War is good for business.
35.Peace is good for
 business.
39.Friendship is temporary;
 profit is forever.
40.She can touch your lobes,
 but never your Latinum.
41.Profit is its own reward.
42.What's mine is mine, and
 what's yours is mine too.
44.Never confuse wisdom
 with luck.
45.Ambition knows no family.
46.Make your shop easy to
 find.
47.Never trust anyone whose
 suit is nicer than your
 own.
48.The bigger the smile,
 the sharper the knife.
49.Everything is worth
 something to somebody.
50.Gratitude can bring on
 generosity.
52.Never ask when you can
 take.
57.Good customers are as
 rare as Latinum. Treasure
 them.
58.There is no substitute
 for success.
59.Free advice is seldom
 cheap.
60.Let's you and him fight.
60.Keep your lies consistent
62.The riskier the road, the
 greater the profit.
65.Win or lose, there's
 always Huyperian beetle
 snuff.
68.Ear stroking will get you
 anything.
69.Ferengi are not
 responsible for the
 stupidity of other races.
72.Never trust your
 customers.
73.If it gets you profit,
 sell your own mother.
75.Home is where the heart
 is, but the stars are made
 of Latinum.
76.Every once in a while
 declare peace--It confuses
 the hell out of your
 enemies.
77.It's better to swallow
 your pride than to lose
 your profit.
79.Beware of the Vulcan
 greed for knowledge.
82.The flimsier the product,
 the higher the price.
84.A friend is not a friend
 if he asks for a discount.
85.Never let the competition
 know what you're thinking.
87.A friend in need means
 three times the profit.
89.Ask not what your profits
 can do for you; ask what
 you can do for your
 profits.
94.Females and finances
 don't mix.
96.For every Rule, there is
 an equal and opposite Rule.
 (except when there's not)
97.Enough... is never
 enough.
98.Act without delay! The
 sharp knife cuts quickly.
99.Trust is the biggest
 liability of all.
100.If they take your first
 offer, you either asked
 too little or offered too
 much.
101.The only value of a
 collectible is what you
 can get somebody else to pa
 for it.
102.Nature decays, but
 Latinum is forever.
103.Sleep can interfere
 with... [cut off]
104.Faith moves mountains...
 of inventory.
105.Don't trust anyone who
 trusts you.
106.There is no honor in
 poverty.
107.A warranty is valid only
 if they can find you.
109.Dignity and an empty
 sack is worth the sack.
111.Treat people in your
 debt like family--exploit
 them.
116.There's always a catch.
119.Never judge a customer
 by the size of his wallet
 (...sometimes, good things
 come in small packages).
121.Everything is for sale,
 including friendship.
123.Even a blind man can
 recognize the glow of
 Latinum.
125.Count it.
127.Stay neutral in conflict
 so that you can sell
 supplies to both sides.
135.Never trust a
 beneficiary.
139.Wives serve. Brothers
 inherit.
141.Only fools pay retail.
144.There's nothing wrong
 with charity...as long as
 it winds up in your pocket.
146.Necessity, n. The mother
 of invention. Profit is the
 father.
152.A lie is a way to tell
 the truth to someone who
 doesn't know.
153.Sell the sizzle, not
 the steak.
162.Even in the worst of
 times, someone turns a
 profit.
169.Competition and fair
 play are mutually
 exclusive.
177.Know your enemies... but
 do business with them
 always.
181.Not even dishonesty can
 tarnish the shine of
 profit.
188.A fool and his money is
 the best customer.
189.Let others keep their
 reputation. You keep their
 money.
191.A Ferengi waits to bid
 until his opponents have
 exhausted themselves.
192.Never cheat a Klingon...
 unless you're sure you can
 get away with it.
194.It's always good
 business to know about new
 customers before they
 walk in your door.
200.If you're going to have
 to endure, make yourself
 comfortable.
202.The justification of
 profit is profit.
203.New customers are like
 razor-backed Greeworms--
 They can be succulent, but
 sometimes they bite back!
211.Employees are the rungs
 on the ladder of success--
 don't hesitate to step on
 them.
214.Never begin a business
 negotiation on an empty
 stomach.
216.Never gamble with an
 empath.
217.You can't free a fish
 from water.
218.Sometimes what you get
 free costs entirely too
 much.
219.Always know what you're
 buying.
219.Possession is 11/10
 of the law.
223.Beware the man who
 doesn't make time for
 oo-mox.
229.Latinum lasts longer
 than lust.
231.There's a sucker born
 every minute;be sure you're
 the first to find each one.
236.You can't buy fate.
239.Never be afraid to
 mislabel a product.
241.Never trust a
 hardworking employee.
242.More is good... all is
 better.
255.A wife is a luxury...
 a smart accountant, a
 necessity.
260.Life's not fair. How
 else would you turn a
 profit?
261.A wealthy man can afford
 anything except a
 conscience.
262.A verbal contract isn't
 worth the paper it's
 written on.
263.Never allow doubt to
 tarnish your lust for
 Latinum.
265.The customer is always
 right (...until you get
 their cash).
266.When in doubt, lie.
270.In business deals, a
 disruptor can be almost as
 important as a calculator.
273.Never trust a
 hardworking employee.
284.Deep down, everyone's
 a Ferengi.
285.No good deed ever goes
 unpunished.
285.A good deed is its own
 reward.
286.When Morn leaves, it's
 all over.
?.One person's secret is
 another person's
 opportunity.

Bye
(Trekker: schreibt mir!)
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