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2022-08-26
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u
G O L F E R A R C A D E
Program by J.C. Hilty
Text by Fender Tucker
It is said that roaming the moors,
fighting off mosquitoes and the
relentless sun are all part of the
most soothing sport in the world,
golf. Since DDT has been banned in the
U.S. (except, of course, by the World
Wrestling Foundation), we can't do
much about the mosquitoes. And since
even the scientists are giving up on
ozone holes and creeping kudzu it
appears that the only thing for
weekend duffers to do is practice at
home on your C-64. Thanks to Jim
Hilty's GOLFER ARCADE, your putting
game is taken care of.
The idea is to make it through
nine holes in as few putts as
possible. Since this is a friendly
game you can move your ball at your
convenience by using the function
keys. F3 moves left and F5 moves
right. F1 selects the putting speed
and F7 putts the ball.
But wait! A demented greenskeeper
has used moving holes instead of the
usual stationary ones. To make matters
worse the zoo next door has such
liberal lock-up policies that
elephants, alligators and other golf-
ophobic vermin seem to roam the greens
at will. You'll have to allow for them
getting in your way and stealing your
ball.
Some holes are worth more than
others so if you want to beat your
opponents into the ground (and who
doesn't?) you'll need to take your
time and make your shots count.
Remember, when in doubt, take a
Mulligan. That's what the Golden
Bear would do. Or the Tiger in the
Woods!
FT