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- ;;; "Flame" program. This has a chequered past.
- ;;;
- ;;; The original was on a Motorola 286 running Vanilla V.1,
- ;;; about 2 years ago. It was couched in terms of a yacc (I think)
- ;;; script. I pulled the data out of it and rewrote it as a piece
- ;;; of PL/1 on Multics. Now I've moved it into an emacs-lisp
- ;;; form. If the original author cares to contact me, I'd
- ;;; be very happy to credit you!
- ;;;
- ;;; Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics
- ;;;
-
- (random t)
-
- (defvar sentence
- '((how can you say that (statement) \?)
- (I can\'t believe how (adjective) you are\.)
- (only a (der-term) like you would say that (statement) \.)
- ((statement) \, huh\?) (so\, (statement) \?)
- ((statement) \, right\?) (I mean\, (sentence))
- (don\'t you realise that (statement) \?)
- (I firmly believe that (statement) \.)
- (let me tell you something\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
- (furthermore\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
- (I couldn\'t care less about your (thing) \.)
- (How can you be so (adjective) \?)
- (you make me sick\.)
- (it\'s well known that (statement) \.)
- ((statement) \.)
- (it takes a (group-adj) (der-term) like you to say that (statement) \.)
- (I don\'t want to hear about your (thing) \.)
- (you\'re always totally wrong\.)
- (I\'ve never heard anything as ridiculous as the idea that (statement) \.)
- (you must be a real (der-term) to think that (statement) \.)
- (you (adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
- (you\'re probably (group-adj) yourself\.)
- (you sound like a real (der-term) \.)
- (why\, (statement) \!)
- (I have many (group-adj) friends\.)
- (save the (thing) s\!) (no nukes\!) (ban (thing) s\!)
- (I\'ll bet you think that (thing) s are (adjective) \.)
- (you know\, (statement) \.)
- (your (quality) reminds me of a (thing) \.)
- (you have the (quality) of a (der-term) \.)
- ((der-term) \!)
- ((adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
- (you\'re a typical (group-adj) person\, totally (adjective) \.)
- (man\, (sentence))))
-
- (defvar sentence-loop (nconc sentence sentence))
-
-
- (defvar quality
- '((ignorance) (stupidity) (worthlessness)
- (prejudice) (lack of intelligence) (lousiness)
- (bad grammar) (lousy spelling)
- (lack of common decency) (ugliness) (nastiness)
- (subtlety) (dishonesty) ((adjective) (quality))))
-
-
- (defvar quality-loop (nconc quality quality))
-
- (defvar adjective
- '((ignorant) (crass) (pathetic) (sick)
- (bloated) (malignant) (perverted) (sadistic)
- (stupid) (unpleasant) (lousy) (abusive) (bad)
- (braindamaged) (selfish) (improper) (nasty)
- (disgusting) (foul) (intolerable) (primitive)
- (depressing) (dumb) (phoney)
- ((adjective) and (adjective))
- (as (adjective) as a (thing))))
-
- (defvar adjective-loop (nconc adjective adjective))
-
- (defvar der-term
- '(((adjective) (der-term)) (sexist) (fascist)
- (weakling) (coward) (beast) (peasant) (racist)
- (cretin) (fool) (jerk) (ignoramus) (idiot)
- (wanker) (rat) (slimebag) (DAF driver)
- (Neanderthal) (sadist) (drunk) (capitalist)
- (wimp) (dogmatist) (wally) (maniac)
- (whimpering scumbag) (pea brain) (arsehole)
- (moron) (goof) (incompetant) (lunkhead) (Nazi)
- (SysThug) ((der-term) (der-term))))
-
- (defvar der-term-loop (nconc der-term der-term))
-
-
- (defvar thing
- '(((adjective) (thing)) (computer)
- (Honeywell dps8) (whale) (operation)
- (sexist joke) (ten-incher) (dog) (MicroVAX II)
- (source license) (real-time clock)
- (mental problem) (sexual fantasy)
- (venereal disease) (Jewish grandmother)
- (cardboard cut-out) (punk haircut) (surfboard)
- (system call) (wood-burning stove)
- (graphics editor) (right wing death squad)
- (disease) (vegetable) (religion)
- (cruise missile) (bug fix) (lawyer) (copyright)
- (PAD)))
-
- (defvar thing-loop (nconc thing thing))
-
-
- (defvar group-adj
- '((gay) (old) (lesbian) (young) (black)
- (Polish) ((adjective)) (white)
- (mentally retarded) (Nicaraguan) (homosexual)
- (dead) (underpriviledged) (religious)
- ((thing) \-loving) (feminist) (foreign)
- (intellectual) (crazy) (working) (unborn)
- (Chinese) (short) ((adjective)) (poor) (rich)
- (funny-looking) (Puerto Rican) (Mexican)
- (Italian) (communist) (fascist) (Iranian)
- (Moonie)))
-
- (defvar group-adj-loop (nconc group-adj group-adj))
-
- (defvar statement
- '((your (thing) is great) ((thing) s are fun)
- ((person) is a (der-term))
- ((group-adj) people are (adjective))
- (every (group-adj) person is a (der-term))
- (most (group-adj) people have (thing) s)
- (all (group-adj) dudes should get (thing) s)
- ((person) is (group-adj)) (trees are (adjective))
- (if you\'ve seen one (thing) \, you\'ve seen them all)
- (you\'re (group-adj)) (you have a (thing))
- (my (thing) is pretty good)
- (the Martians are coming)
- (the (paper) is always right)
- (just because you read it in the (paper) that doesn\'t mean it\'s true)
- ((person) was (group-adj))
- ((person) \'s ghost is living in your (thing))
- (you look like a (thing))
- (the oceans are full of dirty fish)
- (people are dying every day)
- (a (group-adj) man ain\'t got nothing in the world these days)
- (women are inherently superior to men)
- (the system staff is fascist)
- (there is life after death)
- (the world is full of (der-term) s)
- (you remind me of (person)) (technology is evil)
- ((person) killed (person))
- (the Russians are tapping your phone)
- (the Earth is flat)
- (it\'s OK to run down (group-adj) people)
- (Multics is a really (adjective) operating system)
- (the CIA killed (person))
- (the sexual revolution is over)
- (Lassie was (group-adj))
- (the (group-adj) s have really got it all together)
- (I was (person) in a previous life)
- (breathing causes cancer)
- (it\'s fun to be really (adjective))
- ((quality) is pretty fun) (you\'re a (der-term))
- (the (group-adj) culture is fascinating)
- (when ya gotta go ya gotta go)
- ((person) is (adjective))
- ((person) \'s (quality) is (adjective))
- (it\'s a wonderful day)
- (everything is really a (thing))
- (there\'s a (thing) in (person) \'s brain)
- ((person) is a cool dude)
- ((person) is just a figment of your imagination)
- (the more (thing) s you have, the better)
- (life is a (thing)) (life is (quality))
- ((person) is (adjective))
- ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) (der-term) s)
- ((statement) \, and (statement))
- ((statement) \, but (statement))
- (I wish I had a (thing))
- (you should have a (thing))
- (you hope that (statement))
- ((person) is secretly (group-adj))
- (you wish you were (group-adj))
- (you wish you were a (thing))
- (I wish I were a (thing))
- (you think that (statement))
- ((statement) \, because (statement))
- ((group-adj) people don\'t get married to (group-adj) people because (reason))
- ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) because (reason))
- ((group-adj) people are (adjective) \, and (reason))
- (you must be a (adjective) (der-term) to think that (person) said (statement))
- ((group-adj) people are inherently superior to (group-adj) people)
- (God is Dead)))
-
- (defvar statement-loop (nconc statement statement))
-
-
- (defvar paper
- '((Daily Mail) (Daily Express)
- (Centre Bulletin) (Sun) (Daily Mirror)
- (Daily Telegraph) (Beano) (Multics Manual)))
-
- (defvar paper-loop (nconc paper paper))
-
-
- (defvar person
- '((Reagan) (Ken Thompson) (Dennis Ritchie)
- (JFK) (the Pope) (Gadaffi) (Napoleon)
- (Karl Marx) (Groucho) (Michael Jackson)
- (Caesar) (Nietzsche) (Heidegger)
- (Henry Kissinger) (Nixon) (Castro) (Thatcher)
- (Attilla the Hun) (Alaric the Visigoth) (Hitler)))
-
- (defvar person-loop (nconc person person))
-
- (defvar reason
- '((they don\'t want their children to grow up to be too lazy to steal)
- (they can\'t tell them apart from (group-adj) dudes)
- (they\'re too (adjective))
- ((person) wouldn\'t have done it)
- (they can\'t spray paint that small)
- (they don\'t have (thing) s) (they don\'t know how)
- (they can\'t afford (thing) s)))
-
- (defvar reason-loop (nconc reason reason))
-
- (defmacro define-element (name)
- (let ((loop-to-use (intern (concat name "-loop"))))
- (` (defun (, (intern name)) nil
- (let ((step-forward (% (random) 10)))
- (if (< step-forward 0) (setq step-forward (- step-forward)))
- (prog1
- (nth step-forward (, loop-to-use))
- (setq (, loop-to-use) (nthcdr (1+ step-forward) (, loop-to-use)))))))))
-
- (define-element "sentence")
- (define-element "quality")
- (define-element "adjective")
- (define-element "der-term")
- (define-element "group-adj")
- (define-element "statement")
- (define-element "thing")
- (define-element "paper")
- (define-element "person")
- (define-element "reason")
-
- (defun *flame nil
- (flame-expand '(sentence)))
-
- (defun flame-expand (object)
- (cond ((atom object)
- object)
- (t (mapcar 'flame-expand (funcall (car object))))))
-
- (defun flatten (list)
- (cond ((atom list)
- (list list))
- (t (apply 'append (mapcar 'flatten list)))))
-
- (defun flame (arg)
- "Generate ARG (default 1) sentences of half-crazed gibberish."
- (interactive "p")
- (let ((w (selected-window)))
- (pop-to-buffer (get-buffer-create "*Flame*"))
- (goto-char (point-max))
- (insert ?\n)
- (flame2 arg)
- (select-window w)))
-
- (defun flame2 (arg)
- (let ((start (point)))
- (flame1 arg)
- (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) t)))
-
- (defun flame1 (arg)
- (cond ((zerop arg) t)
- (t (insert (concat (sentence-ify (string-ify (append-suffixes-hack (flatten (*flame)))))))
- (flame1 (1- arg)))))
-
- (defun sentence-ify (string)
- (concat (upcase (substring string 0 1))
- (substring string 1 (length string))
- " "))
-
- (defun string-ify (list)
- (mapconcat
- '(lambda (x)
- (format "%s" x))
- list
- " "))
-
- (defun append-suffixes-hack (list)
- (cond ((null list)
- nil)
- ((memq (nth 1 list)
- '(\? \. \, s\! \! s \'s \-loving))
- (cons (intern (format "%s%s" (nth 0 list) (nth 1 list)))
- (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 2 list))))
- (t (cons (nth 0 list)
- (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 1 list))))))
-
- (defun psychoanalyze-flamer ()
- "Mr. Angry goes to the analyst."
- (interactive)
- (doctor) ; start the psychotherapy
- (message "")
- (switch-to-buffer "*doctor*")
- (sit-for 0)
- (while (not (input-pending-p))
- (flame2 (if (= (% (random) 2) 0) 2 1))
- (sit-for 0)
- (doctor-ret-or-read 1)))
-