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Text File  |  1986-10-09  |  3KB  |  56 lines
  1. TO:  All Department Heads
  2. FROM:  Personnel Department
  3. SUBJ:  New Employee Evaluation Forms
  4.  
  5. NAME:__________________________________   DATE:_______________________
  6. JOB TITLE:_____________________________   DATE HIRED:_________________
  7. DEPARTMENT:____________________________   SUPERVISOR:_________________
  8. ________________________________________________________________________
  9. ACCURACY  __DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP
  10.           __DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG
  11.           __PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP
  12.           __DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS
  13. ________________________________________________________________________
  14. RATE OF   __DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG
  15. WORK      __WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN
  16.           __DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME
  17.           __GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE
  18.           __FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST
  19. ________________________________________________________________________
  20. DEPENDABILITY
  21.           __COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK
  22.           __NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS
  23.           __CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED
  24.           __USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME
  25.           __REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER
  26. ________________________________________________________________________
  27. KNOWLEDGE __STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE
  28.           __KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS
  29.           __ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT
  30.           __KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB
  31.           __SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT
  32. ________________________________________________________________________
  33. COOPERATION
  34.           __PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON
  35.           __OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS
  36.           __COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY
  37.           __BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS
  38.           __COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH
  39. ________________________________________________________________________
  40. ORDERLINESS
  41.           __SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR
  42.           __PISSES IN ASH TRYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER
  43.           __SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTBASKET
  44.           __NEAT AND ORDERLY
  45.           __NEATER THAN FELIX
  46. _________________________________________________________________________
  47. HANDLING  __CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS
  48. AND       __FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER
  49. DEVELOPING__OCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED
  50. PEOPLE    __ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM
  51.           __CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS
  52.  
  53.  
  54.  
  55. ___________________________________   ___________________________________
  56. EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE                  SUPERVISOR'S SIGNATURE