Collection of Education/collectionofeducationcarat1997.iso/HEALTH/ALANON.ZIP/ALANON.ACA

Text File | 1990-12-25 | 9KB | 142 lines

              "Adult Children of Alcoholics Inside Al-Anon:

                            "The Open Fold"

                              By Al-Anon

     Al-Anon is a fellowship of men and women meeting together to overcome
the effects of living with, or having lived with, an alcoholic.  Its
steadfast program provides a safe harbor for families and friends of
alcoholics ravaged by the turbulent effects of the disease of alcoholism.
This consistency stems from Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions, a framework by
which the fellowship maintains its unity.  The success of the Al-Anon
program lies equally in following a program set forth in the Twelve Steps of
Recovery.  Its non-professional status encourages members to avoid
therapeutic techniques, best left to the professional community, and
provides a secure place where members are accepted and can recover at their
own pace.  Taking its program from Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon has become
a primary community resource for relatives and friends of alcoholics.

          The Al-Anon Family Groups were formed in 1951 by the approximately
50 groups meeting in the U.S. and Canada.  Since then, the Al-Anon
fellowship has grown to over 24,000 Al-Anon and Alateen groups worldwide.
It all began with two people who needed to share their experience, strength,
and hope with one another.

          "Alcoholism is a family disease.  The well-being of anyone living
with an alcoholic is affected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Al-
Anon Family Groups offer help to anyone who is, or has been, affected by the
problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.  Membership in Al-Anon is
made up of wives and husbands, mothers and fathers, daughters and sons,
lovers and friends of alcoholics.  Al-Anon is for people -- people who have
a problem they want to solve by sharing their experience, strength and hope
with other people; the more varied the membership, the broader the
opportunity to share recovery.  Whatever our relationship to the alcoholic,
we find in Al-Anon a place to share, a place to care, and a place to grow."*

          Al-Anon's clearinghouse, the Al-Anon World Service Office (WSO),
located in New York City, is a reflective, not a directive organization. It
is a central point for all of its groups, and services the needs of its
members.  "In recent years, there has been a sizeable increase in the number
of adult children of alcoholics who are seeking Al-Anon's help to recover
from the effects of a parent's alcoholism.  Many have made the transition
from Alateen to Al-Anon.  Some still live at home.  Many no longer live with
an alcoholic parent, but find their adult lives unmanageable because of the
heavy emotional involvement they continue to have with the family.  Others
have only just been made aware through current experiences that the scars of
alcoholism have left them with lingering pain, a pain that continues to
affect their relationships, their self-esteem and their sense of family
life.

          "In Al-Anon, adult children of alcoholics have shared similar
feelings of anger, guilt, and denial.  Having grown up in alcoholic
households, they believed it was easier not to talk, trust or feel, and they
learned ways of coping that later proved inappropriate.  This caused many to
feel confused, a false sense of self, and often a great sense of despair.
They felt victimized by alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike.  Some 'grew up'
feeling abandoned and alone.  Many tried only to please others rather than
take self-action, while their brothers and sisters sought to forget their
past through heavy work loads.  Still others felt they hadn't grown up at
all, that they had only maintained their childhood attitudes.

          "In Al-Anon, children of alcoholics find the tools that enable
them to put the past to rest, to forgive and go on to meaningful adult
lives. Al-Anon helps resolve feelings of anger, guilt and denial.  Through
working the Al-Anon program, children of alcoholics begin to change
attitudes and behaviors that no longer work into rewarding and productive
ways of living. The new understanding they find through sharing their
experiences and hope with others improve their current relationships. Every
area of their lives is affected by the desire to better themselves."*

          At first glance, it seems as if adult children of alcoholics are a
new phenomenon within the fellowship; a closer look reveals that adult
children were there from the very beginning.  They didn't call themselves
"adult children" then, but nevertheless they were there.

          Growth in the registration of adult children Al-Anon Family Groups
at Al-Anon's WSO has rapidly increased.  With this growth, confusion has
arisen concerning Al-Anon's policy on registering these groups.  Like other
groups with a category of membership in its title (parents, men, women,
etc.), the Al-Anon WSO registers them with the attitude and recognition that
if these groups are forming in such large numbers, they must be filling a
specific need.

          Al-Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics groups are started and set up
in the same manner as any Al-Anon group, by two or more individuals who
desire to share their experience, strength, and hope with one another. There
are many groups springing up for Children of Alcoholics.  Some of them are
Al-Anon, some are not.  Al-Anon Groups usually use the name Al-Anon
somewhere in the title, and are required to abide by the Twelve Traditions
which include: keeping their doors open to anyone whose life is or has been
deeply affected by alcoholism in a relative or friend; maintaining self-
support, and non-affiliation with other organizations.

          With the recent upsurge of adult children's groups within the Al-
Anon fellowship, the majority of the members may be newcomers.  It is for
this reason that all are encouraged to attend other Al-Anon groups.  It is
there that they may learn from experienced members to stop blaming others
and place the focus upon themselves.

          With the increased numbers of adult children joining the Al-Anon
Family, and almost 600 groups now registered, or seeking registration, many
questions arise.  The only meaningful question that remains, however, is
"How can we help the scores of adult children joining Al-Anon?"  The answer
lies in assuring that the same approach to recovery that has served Al-Anon
members for over three decades, and made Al-Anon so successful as a self-
help fellowship, remains intact.  By continuing to be a safe place where
members can share anonymously, and through the process of identification
begin to accept themselves and others, the Al-Anon group becomes a calm
space in stormy seas.

          "The statement for adult children approved by the 1984 Al-Anon
World Service Conference, Al-Anon's largest expression of group conscience,
expresses how the unity of our fellowship can benefit all."*

*    Reprinted from "Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Children" with the
permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

-----------------------------

Statement on Adult Children of Alcoholics Groups

Approved: 1984 World Service Conference of Al-Anon Family Groups

          Our membership offers a wide variety of experience, most of it
indicating that the disease of alcoholism isolated each of us in one way or
another.  In the recovery process, we come to realize that joining together
in a spirit of unity ensures that Al-Anon will be preserved and passed on to
others.  As we see the results of our commitment to the Al-Anon program, our
common bond is enriched, and we realize that our progress toward recovery is
more important than how we came into Al-Anon, or whose alcoholism may have
affected us.  It is therefore our hope that adult children will also attend
other Al-Anon meetings where the background of its members is more widely
varied.  Regardless of our backgrounds, members have found that we feel the
acceptance of