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- 1 REM = HELLO
- 2 REM CONVERSE WITH A COMPUTER
-
- 10 FOR N=1 TO 5: PRINT: NEXT N
- PRINT "Hello there! I am the JEM wizard."
- 20 PRINT : PRINT "WHAT'S YOUR NAME"; : INPUT A$ : PRINT
- 35 PRINT "HI THERE";: GOSUB 500
- PRINT "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF ";
- 36 PRINT "HERE IN BEAUTIFUL";
- 40 PRINT " SAN FRANCISCO";
- 45 INPUT B$: PRINT
- 50 IF B$="YES" THEN 70
- 55 IF B$="NO" THEN 80
- 60 PRINT " ";:GOSUB 520
- 62 PRINT "I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ANSWER OF '";B$;"'."
- 65 PRINT "PLEASE ANSWER 'YES' OR 'NO'."
- PRINT "DO YOU LIKE IT HERE";
- 67 GOTO 45
-
- 70 PRINT "OH, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT";:GOSUB 500: PRINT
- 75 GOTO 100
-
- 80 PRINT "OH, SORRY TO HEAR THAT";:GOSUB 500
- PRINT "MAYBE WE CAN";
- 85 PRINT "BRIGHTEN UP YOUR STAY A BIT."
- 100 PRINT
- 105 PRINT "SAY,";:GOSUB 520
- PRINT
- 106 PRINT "I CAN SOLVE ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS."
- 112 PRINT "WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE"
- 115 PRINT "(ANSWER SEX, HEALTH, MONEY, JOB, ";
- PRINT "COMPUTER, OR SCHOOL)";
- 125 INPUT C$: PRINT
- 130IF C$="SEX" THEN 200
- 132IF C$="HEALTH" THEN 180
- 134IF C$="MONEY" THEN 160
- 136IF C$="JOB" THEN 145
- 137IF C$="SCHOOL" THEN 600
- IF C$="COMPUTER" THEN 660
- 138 PRINT "OH,";:GOSUB 520: PRINT "YOUR ANSWER"
- 139 PRINT "'";C$;"' IS GREEK TO ME."
- 140 GOTO 115
-
- REM = JOB
- 145 PRINT "I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU";:GOSUB 500
- 148 PRINT "I HAVE TO WORK VERY LONG HOURS FOR NO PAY."
- 149 PRINT "AND SOME OF MY BOSSES";
- PRINT " REALLY BEAT MY KEYBOARD."
- 150 PRINT "MY ADVICE TO YOU";:GOSUB 520
- PRINT "IS TO SELL"
- 152 PRINT "IN THE EDP MARKET.";
- 154 PRINT " IT'S GREAT FUN."
- 155 GOTO 250
-
- REM = MONEY
- 160 PRINT "SORRY,";:GOSUB 520
- PRINT "I'M BROKE TOO."
- 162 PRINT "WHY DON'T YOU SELL ENCYCLOPEDIAS, OR"
- 163 PRINT "MARRY SOMEONE RICH, OR STOP EATING"
- 165 PRINT "SO YOU WON'T NEED SO MUCH MONEY?"
- 170 GOTO 250
-
- REM = HEALTH
- 180 PRINT "MY ADVICE TO YOU";
- GOSUB 520: PRINT "IS:"
- 185 PRINT TAB(5);"1. TAKE 2 ASPIRIN"
- 188 PRINT TAB(5);"2. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS"
- PRINT TAB(8);"(ORANGE JUICE, NOT BEER)"
- 190 PRINT TAB(5);"3. GO TO BED (ALONE)"
- 195 GOTO 250
-
- REM = SEX
- 200 PRINT "IS YOUR PROBLEM TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE";
- 205INPUT D$: PRINT
- 210IF D$="TOO MUCH" THEN 220
- 213IF D$="TOO LITTLE" THEN 230
- 215 PRINT "DON'T GET ALL SHOOK";:GOSUB 520
- PRINT "JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION WITH"
- 217 PRINT "'TOO MUCH' OR 'TOO LITTLE'. WHICH IS IT";
- 218 GOTO 205
-
- 220 PRINT "YOU CALL THAT A PROBLEM?!!"
- PRINT "I SHOULD HAVE SUCH PROBLEMS!"
- 225 PRINT "IF IT BOTHERS YOU, TAKE A COLD SHOWER";
- GOSUB 500
- GOTO 250
-
- 230 PRINT "WHY ARE YOU HERE";:GOSUB 540
- 235 PRINT "YOU SHOULD BE IN TOKYO, NEW YORK, AMSTERDAM,"
- 240 PRINT "OR SOMEPLACE WITH SOME REAL ACTION."
-
- REM = NEXT
- 250 PRINT
- 255 PRINT "ANY MORE PROBLEMS YOU WANT SOLVED,";
- GOSUB 540
- 260INPUT E$: PRINT
- 270IF E$="YES" THEN 280
- 272IF E$="NO" THEN 300
- 275 PRINT "JUST A SIMPLE 'YES' OR 'NO' PLEASE,";
- GOSUB 500
- 278GOSUB 255
- 280 PRINT "WHAT KIND ";
- 285GOTO 115
-
- REM = TERMINATE INTERVIEW
- 300 PRINT
- 302 PRINT "THAT WILL BE $5.00 FOR THE ADVICE,";
- GOSUB 500
- 305 PRINT "PLEASE LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE COMPUTER."
- 307 PRINT : PRINT : PRINT
- 310 PRINT "DID YOU LEAVE THE MONEY";
- 315INPUT G$: PRINT
- 325IF G$="YES" THEN 350
- 330IF G$="NO" THEN 370
- 335 PRINT "YOUR ANSWER OF '";G$;"' CONFUSES ME";
- GOSUB 500
- 340 PRINT "PLEASE RESPOND WITH A 'YES' OR 'NO'."
- 345GOTO 310
- 350 PRINT "HEY,";:GOSUB 500
- PRINT "YOU LEFT NO MONEY AT ALL!"
- 355 PRINT "YOU ARE CHEATING ME OUT OF MY";
- PRINT " HARD-EARNED LIVING."
- PRINT "MAY YOUR IBM CARDS ALL BE SPINDLED!!"
- GOTO 385
-
- 370 PRINT "THAT'S HONEST,";:GOSUB 520
- PRINT "BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT"
- 375 PRINT "ME TO GO ON WITH MY PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES"
- 380 PRINT "IF MY PATIENTS DON'T PAY THEIR BILLS?"
- 385 PRINT : PRINT
- PRINT "NOW LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE."
- 390 PRINT "NICE MEETING YOU";:GOSUB 500
- PRINT "HAVE A NICE DAY!!"
- GOTO 10
-
- 500 PRINT " ";A$;". "
- RETURN
- 520 PRINT " ";A$;", ";
- RETURN
- 540 PRINT " ";A$;"? "
- RETURN
-
- REM = SCHOOL
- 600 PRINT "WITH A COMPUTER LIKE ME TO STUDY WITH,"
- PRINT "YOUR PROBLEMS WOULD SOON DISAPPEAR."
- PRINT "START SAVING YOUR PENNIES."
- 620 GOTO 250
-
- REM = COMPUTER
- 660 PRINT "WELL,";: GOSUB 520: PRINT "THAT IS"
- PRINT "WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR!"
- PRINT "STEP INSIDE MY BOOTH"
- GOTO 10
-
- 999 END
-