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"Seinfeld" Information File and Frequently Asked Questions List =============================================================== [FAQ Version 1.3 -- Updated: May 13th, 1993] This file is intended to provide a general information base and answer some frequently asked questions posted on alt.tv.seinfeld and mailed to the "Vandelay Industries" mailing list. It is hoped this file is found useful to newcomers to the group as well as fill in the information gaps in the minds of experienced newshounds. Additions and corrections to this file should be directed to the FAQ administrator, noted in section 1.2. This FAQ list is posted monthly to both alt.tv.seinfeld and the "Vandelay Industries" mailing list, as well as to the appropriate *.answers groups. It normally comes out around the 13th of each month. Changes from, and additions to, the last version noted with a | in column 1. Table Of Contents ================= 1) Administrivia 1.1) Seinfeld Discussion Groups 1.2) Information File & FAQ List 1.3) Episode Guide 1.4) Episode Capsules 1.5) Other Files Available | 1.6) Files By Anonymous FTP | 1.7) "Seinfeld" Mailing List 2) The Show and Its Characters 2.1) Introduction To "Seinfeld" 2.2) The Main Players | 2.2.1) Jerry Seinfeld 2.2.2) George Costanza 2.2.3) Elaine Marie Benes | 2.2.4) Kramer (Just Kramer) 2.3) Regular Co-Stars 2.3.1) Newman 2.3.2) Morty and Helen Seinfeld (Jerry's Parents) 2.3.3) Estelle Costanza (George's Mom) 2.3.4) Uncle Leo 2.3.5) Crazy Joe Davola 2.3.6) Susan 2.4) Notable Guest Star Appearances 2.4.1) ...As Themselves | 2.4.2) ...Playing Others 2.4.3) ...Integral To The Plot, But Not Seen 2.5) Behind-The-Scenes-Type People 2.5.1) Larry David 2.5.2) Tom Cherones | 2.5.3) Larry Charles 3) Regular Show Aspects 3.1) The Diner 3.2) The Apartment 3.3) Main Characters' Occupations 4) Frequently Asked Questions (And Other Things You Should Know) | 4.1) What Is Kramer's Full Name? 4.2) What's Up With Jerry's Money? | 4.3) What's Jerry and Elaine's relationship? 4.4) What's the Whole "New York Thing"? 4.6) Is Pez The Official Fifth Food Group Of alt.tv.seinfeld? 4.5) Snapple: Discuss 4.7) Whither Official "Seinfeld" Merchandise? 4.8) "Seinfeld" vs. "Home Improvement" 4.9) List Of Awards Won By "Seinfeld" 4.10) If You Were On A Deserted Island And Could Only Have One Episode Of "Seinfeld" To Watch, Which One Would It Be? (Debating The Validity Of The Question Is Left As An Assignment For The Reader) 4.11) Who is Art Vandelay? 4.12) Does Jerry Read alt.tv.seinfeld? 4.13) Apartment Props and the Real Life Jerry Seinfeld 4.14) "Is George Jewish? Is He Italian? Can He Drive A Three-Inch Nail Through A Board With His...?" 4.15) George's SAT Scores 4.16) What's A "Chucker"? 4.17) A Couple Tidbits On Character Name Selection 4.18) The Ballad Of Kramer's Jacket 4.19) How Does One Go About Getting Tickets To A Taping Of The Show? 4.20) Junior Mint Mousse Recipe 4.21) Who Is John Cheever? 4.22) Jackie Thomas: Is He, In Fact, The Anti-Christ? | 4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How | About Shelbyville? How Do I Find Out? 4.24) You Can Pick Your Friends, and You Can Nip Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nip... 4.25) Barenaked Ladies (And Men...) | 4.26) Poll Results: Favourite Supporting Character (From a.t.s) | 4.27) Trivia Tidbits and Stuff That Doesn't Really Fit Anywhere Else | 5) Glossary Of "Seinfeldisms" | 6) Acknowledgements --- 1) Administrivia 1.1) "Seinfeld" Discussion Groups There are two major ways of discussing "Seinfeld" on the Internet. One is to subscribe to the alt.tv.seinfeld group with your local news reader, the other is to subscribe to "Vandelay Industries", the "Seinfeld" mailing list (detailed below). For simplicity's sake, these two entities are referred to below as Seinfeld Discussion Groups (SDGs). 1.2) Information File and FAQ List This file was created (and is maintained) by Scott Simpson, (simpson@bnr.ca). It is posted monthly to both SDGs. Any additions or corrections to this list should be sent to the aforementioned email address or posted to the SDGs. 1.3) Episode Guide The official SDG episode guide is maintained by Bob Warznak (rspw@iscp.bellcore.com). It is posted periodically to the SDGs. 1.4) Episode Capsules The "Seinfeld" episode capsules are compiled by Scott Simpson, (simpson@bnr.ca). A new one is posted pretty much weekly to the SDGs. See section 1.6 below for a manifest of episodes that have been encapsulated so far (I'm working on the backlog). 1.5) Other Files Available Bob Warznak has also compiled a complete list of "Seinfeld" ``Olympic Moments'' which aired during the Summer '92 Olympics on NBC. It is available only via anonymous FTP, detailed below. 1.6) Files By Anonymous FTP | This FAQ List and Info File is presently available | | at: pit-manager.mit.edu | in: /pub/usenet/alt.tv.seinfeld/ | | at: grasp1.univ-lyon1.fr | ftp.win.tue.nl | in: /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/seinfeld-faq/ | | Strictly speaking, it *should* be available anywhere the news.answers | FAQs are stored. All of the aforementioned files will soon be available via anonymous FTP. They will be stored at ftp.uu.net, probably in the directory: /usenet/rec.arts.startrek/Guides/seinfeld Once this directory is operable, these are the files that will be present: FAQ.Z -- Latest version of the Frequently Asked Questions List and Information File (93/04/06) Episode_Guide.Z -- The latest version of Bob Warznak's episode guide (93/02/18) Index.Z -- Short description of available files (93/03/27) (All of the following files are "Episode Capsules" containing quotes and other tidbits from the show in question. They are named and sorted according to the date of first showing of the episode. Brief descriptions of each episode can be found in the episode guide, detailed above): 90.05.31.Z -- "The Stakeout" 92.11.25.Z -- "The Airport" 93.01.06.Z -- "The Movie" 93.02.11.Z -- "The Outing" 93.02.18.Z -- "The Old Man" 93.03.18.Z -- "The Junior Mints" 93.04.15.Z -- "The Smelly Car" Olympic_Moments.Z -- Bob Warznak's transcription of the Olympic TV Promos done by Jerry & Co. during last Summer's Olympics. Funny stuff. All files in the directory will be compressed with the UNIX "compress" command. Notification will be sent to both SDGs once this FTP service has been established. Stay tuned... |** If anyone knows another site that this stuff can be archived at, let me |** know (since it seems to be taking forever to get this stuff over there |** (no flames to the guys at ftp.uu.net-- they're awfully busy). It would |** just be nice to be able to put all this stuff somewhere soon). 1.7) "Seinfeld" Mailing List The "Seinfeld" mailing list, "Vandelay Industries" has been up and running longer than alt.tv.seinfeld. To join, send a message with a subject line "Subscribe" to: seinfeld-request@cpac.washington.edu It's available in both a reflector format, and a digest format. The digest usually comes out once a day. To receive the digest format, send a message to the same address with a subject line of: "Subscribe digest". | IMPORTANT: *Please* remember when you're UNsubscribing to the list | that you send a mail message with a subject line "Unsubscribe" to: | | seinfeld-request@cpac.washington.edu | | That is, use the same address that you subscribed with, *not* the | regular posting address. I only mention this for your own safety. | The dwellers of the mailing list have been known to stalk unsuspecting | unsubscribers who rudely post their removals to the general group. It | can get pretty ugly-- one unfortunate soul was put on several "Craig | Shergold" postcard mailing lists and as well he had his real-life | address added to the Rush Limbaugh Beach Calendar annual mailer. I | shudder just thinking about it. You have been warned... 2) The Show and Its Characters 2.1) Introduction To "Seinfeld" ``It's a show about nothing'' -- "The Ticket" "Seinfeld" began life as "The Seinfeld Chronicles" July 5, 1989, at 9:30PM as a half-hour pilot on NBC. It didn't see the light of day again until it's first "full season" began on May 31st, 1990, when four more episodes were shown, along with a re-broadcast of the pilot episode. The show was renamed "Seinfeld" at this point. The show has been a regular staple on NBC ever since. The show basically rotates around stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his everyday routine. Most episodes simply revolve around Jerry and his three closest friends (his best friend George, his ex-girlfriend Elaine and his neighbour Kramer), making everyday situations, well, extraordinary. 2.2) The Main Players Note: The "Other work" lists are mostly taken from "The Lists" frequently posted to rec.arts.movies. Motion pictures and TV shows are listed (TV shows are shown enclosed in quotation marks), and other projects are cited where known. I've tried to include the name of the character played from each project as well. The works noted here are intended to be as complete as possible for the main characters, but not for the guest stars where the list is simply intended to spark an "Oh yeah, that's where I've seen them before" kind of thing, so I stayed with better-known projects. 2.2.1) Jerry Seinfeld ``A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils.'' -- Kramer on Jerry, "The Movie" ``Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose.'' -- George on Jerry, "The Movie" | Jerry is played by, of course, Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry was born on | April 29th, 1954 in New York City. He started out as a stand-up comic in the late seventies, and appeared semi-regularly on The Tonight Show. According to Jerry at this year's Juno Awards (for excellence in Canadian Music), he owes his success to Anne Murray since the two of them appeared on a Tonight Show together, after which Anne asked him to be the opening act for her in Las Vegas. While spending the eighties performing and perfecting his stand-up routine, Jerry became more and more popular, in no small part to his numerous spots on "Late Night With David Letterman". He continues to tour when there are breaks in the taping of the TV show. Other work: "Benson" (1980) [Freddy, the Messenger boy] "Jerry Seinfeld Stand- Up Confidential" (1987) [HBO Video] | "WKRP In Cincinnatti" (1992)?[Guest shot as himself] (Jen Hewitt notes that Jerry is credited as "Jerry Steinfeld" in "The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network TV Shows [1987]" (where this "Benson" info comes from). Whether this is a typo in the book or an old alias of Jerry's is presently unknown...) | For those who care about such things, Jerry is left-handed. 2.2.2) George Costanza ``A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.'' -- The Ticket Lady on George, "The Movie" | Played by Jason Alexander (born Jay Greenspan on September 23, 1959 in | Newark, New Jersey). Jason started out on Broadway (in fact, he won a Tony Award in 1989 for best actor in a musical for "Jerome Robbins' Broadway"). Alexander is married to actress Daena Title and they have a 9 month old son, Gabriel. The actor grew up Livingston, NJ and attended Boston University. In an interview on "Fresh Air," a National Public Radio show out of Philadelphia, Jason Alexander admitted that George is loosely based on the show's producer, Larry David. Also, he admitted that in both his audition and the first few shows he was doing an unabashed imitation of Woody Allen. He also states that he owes his entire career to William Shatner, who's acting style he tries to emulate. George's defining characteristic (to me, anyway) is his cheapness. Some of his best lines are asking for money in a difficult situation, like asking Susan for his change back while her father's cabin burns to the ground, or asking his Senior "friend" to pay for his soup after he drives him out of the restaurant. Other work: _My Fair Lady_ (1987 - Broadway) _Jerome Robbins' Broadway_ (1989 - Broadway [Tony Award]) "E/R" (1984) [Hospital Administrator] "Everything's Relative" (1987) [One of two brothers] I Don't Buy Kisses Anymore (1990) Jacob's Ladder (1990) [Lawyer] Pretty Woman (1990) [Sleazy lawyer] White Sands (1992) The Coneheads (1993) [Next-door neighbour] He also appears in dozens of commercials, including that Western Union commercial where he's wiring home for money after getting arrested by the Southern cop that never speaks-- ``Is there any way you could send the money... today?''. (Jen Hewitt also notes ``Incidentally, Elliot Gould's character (on "E/R") was named Howard Sheinfeld, which is a pretty bizarre coincidence if you ask me.'') 2.2.3) Elaine Marie Benes ``A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.'' -- George on Elaine, "The Movie" Played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Julia was born in New York City on January 13th, 1961. She was raised in Washington, D.C. She majored in theatre at Northwestern University (alma mater of such important people as Charlotte Rae, Charlton Heston, Warren Beatty, Shelley Long, Ann-Margaret, Cindy Crawford and Dick Gephardt and Karen Kurotsuchi ;)) She was a member of the Practical Theatre company in Evanston, Illinois before joining Second City in Chicago. While at the PTC, she met her present husband Brad Hall. Both Julia and Brad went on to be regulars on "Saturday Night Live" in 1982 (the start of the "dead years" for the show). Shelley Long noted that at about this time, when she was auditioning for the role of Diane Chambers, J.L.-D. was also trying out... J.L.-D. and Brad Hall have one child together, Henry, born in between "Seinfeld" seasons last year (which is why she is absent from the season premiere this year and is only seen from the shoulders-up in "The Keys"). The character Elaine does not appear until "The Stakeout". We do know that Elaine is from Maryland, went to college (I can't remember where... Anyone?)... The character is apparently based on stand-up comedienne Carol Leifer (ex-host of "Caroline's Comedy Hour", among other projects). Other work: "Saturday Night Live" (1982-85) [The "dead years"] Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) Soul Man (1986) Troll (1986) "Day by Day" (1988) [Friend of family] National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) [Griswald's neighbour] Jack The Bear (1993) 2.2.4) Kramer (Just Kramer) ``Ah, a tall, lanky dufus with, with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein.'' -- Elaine on Kramer, "The Movie" Un-official idol of the SDGs, played with panache by Michael Richards. Richards is 43, born in Los Angeles. He received a bachelor's degree in Drama from the California Institute of the Arts. He then spent two years in the Army, then a couple more years "finding himself" at a commune in the Santa Clara Mountains. Before he made it big (or small, for that matter), he drove a bus and developed a stand- up act in 1979. He got his big break nine months later appearing in Billy Crystal's first cable TV special. He married a former casting director (married 19 years, divorced in 1990), has a 17-year-old daughter, Sophia, and now lives in the San Fernando Valley. Tim Connors quotes Debbie Snook of the Cleveland Plain Dealer interviewing Michael Richards (got all that?): ``This great story is told: MR is in NYC with "girlfriend actress Ann Talman" and they're scrambling for a cab. MR: "I'd be standing on a corner and people would be looking out of their windows, pointing to us from their cars and waving. So I'd size them up -- get a sense of who looked safe -- and I'd go, 'Listen can you give us a ride down to ...,' and they'd go, 'Yeah, sure.' So for two days, I never took a cab. And these people were completely blown. They'd say, 'Oh my God! Oh my God! I've got Kramer in my car!" MR says K is based on a fella Larry David knew "in New York named Kramer who lived across the hall and was a jack of all trades, the kind of guy who can live in a $2000 a month apartment for only $450 a month. Co-workers compare MR's careful reworking of bits to the craftsmanship of Chaplin. MR: "Next to him, I'm an ant." MR "has given Kramer a scent -- Calvin Klein's "Eternity" cologne, a gift from the designer after an episode in which Kramer posed in his underwear for the fashion firm. 'I saturate myself so the other actors know when I'm coming in.'" MR reminisces about the time he and Andy Kaufman conspired to stage a fight in the middle of a sketch (on "Fridays"), with MR yelling "Go to commercial!" "His genius was to fool us," says MR about Kaufman. <Andy, did you hear about this one?> Here's a doozy: "Like Seinfeld, [MR] is wedded to yoga." He would like to do a serious part a la Gleason as Minnesota Fats but reckons that "with the popularity of Kramer it would probably be difficult for me to be in a picture with Al Pacino right now."'' | Other work: "Marblehead Manor" (1977) [Gardener] "Fridays" (1980) [Sketch actor] Young Doctors in Love (1982) [Hitman] Ratings Game, The (1984) (TV Movie) [Mafia-stooge] | Transylvania 6-5000 (1985) [Butler] UHF (1989) [Stanley Spadowsky] | Problem Child (1990) [Convict] So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) The Coneheads (1993) [cameo] | Whoops Apocolypse (?) [Lacrobat (?)] He has also guest starred as: o A sleazy guy trying to make Sam cash in on a bet, in one episode of "Cheers" ("Bar Bet") o A defendant who thought he was invisible to everyone, in an episode of "Night Court" o A TV producer (?) on "St. Elsewhere", looking for a doctor to host a local health segment on a news broadcast. o He supposedly has played heavies in several shows, including "Miami Vice" o He was on the 1993 MTV "Rock N' Jock" Celebrity Softball Challenge 2.3) Regular Co-Stars 2.3.1) Newman ``Jerry: Oh, hello... *Newman*...'' -- Jerry's frequent "greeting" Played by Wayne Knight. Many SDG'ers loathe the man, since most of his performances on the show are, well, er, "over the top" to be polite. Most can handle him in small doses. Other work: Dead Again (1991) [Newspaper photographer] JFK (1991) [Newman (!?)] Basic Instinct (1992) [Cop] "The Edge" (1992) [sketch actor] Jurassic Park (1993) [Dennis Nedry] 2.3.2) Morty and Helen Seinfeld (Jerry's Parents) Mrs. Seinfeld is played by Liz Sheridan, Mr. Seinfeld was played by Phil Bruns in the Pilot episode, and by Barney Martin in all subsequent appearances. Other work: Liz Sheridan: "Alf" (1987) [Mrs. Auchmonich (sp?)] Barney Martin: | "Murphy Brown" (1992)?[Frank Fontana's Father] "The Wonder Years" (1993) [Elder Kevin Arnold -- "Poker" episode] 2.3.3) Estelle Costanza Played by Estelle Harris. She is the stereotypical New York (dare I say "Jewish"?) mother who constantly berates George on a variety of subjects. With a mother like this, it doesn't take a stretch to see why George is so insecure. She currently stars in the new Shelley Long sitcom on CBS with Treat Williams, "Good Advice". 2.3.4) Uncle Leo Played by Len Lesser. Does *anyone* have *anything* interesting to say about this guy? 2.3.5) Crazy Joe Davola Remind me to put something here... 2.3.6) Susan | Susan, George's on-again/off-again girlfriend is played by Heidi | Swedberg. Susan has been a source of some classic comedy over the | many episodes she's been in, some of which is summed up quite nicely | in this following exchange from "The Smelly Car": | | Susan: Kramer! Kramer! Kramer, open up, I know you're in there! | Jerry: Susan! | Susan: Kramer! | Jerry: What is going on? | Susan: You know what's going on? First, he vomits on me. Then, he | burns down my father's cabin. And now, he's taken Mona away | from me. | George: He stole your girlfriend? | Susan: Yes. She's in *love* with him. [She leaves] | George: Amazing. I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back. | | Other work: Hot Shots (1990) [Mrs. Dead Meat] 2.4) Notable Guest Star Appearances Many "big name" stars have appeared on "Seinfeld" (most often as themselves), and many others have played other characters, or have been "integral" parts of the show without being seen. 2.4.1) ...As Themselves Candace Bergen, "The Keys" Corbin Bernsen, "The Trip, Part II" Keith Hernandez, "The Boyfriend, Parts I & II" Roger McDowell, "The Boyfriend, Part II" Keith Morrison, "The Trip, Part II" Fred Savage, "The Trip, Part I" George Wendt, "The Trip, Part II" 2.4.2) ...Playing Others | Nick Backay ............... Carl ("The Smelly Car") | Other work: "Night After Night" (1990)? | "Sports Monster" (?) | "The Dennis Miller Show" (1991)?[Sidekick] Michael Chiklis ........... Steve ("The Stranded") Other work: Wired (1989) [John Belushi] "The Commish" (1990) [Police Commissioner] Lynn Clark ................ Vanessa ("The Stakeout", "The Stock Tip") Other work: "Grapevine" (1992) | Michael des Barres ........ Maitre'd ("The Smelly Car") | Other work: "MacGyver" (1989)?[Murdoc] | "WKRP In Cincinnatti" (1991) | [He also was the Robert Palmer replacement singer for the rock band | Power Station a few years back. Ex-husband of infamous groupie Pamela | des Barres.] Brian Doyle-Murray ........ Mel, the B.B.'s Dad ("The Bubble Boy") Other work: "Saturday Night Live" (1983)?[News anchor, etc.] Caddyshack (1980) [Caddy manager] Modern Problems (1981) National Lampoon's Vacation (1983) [Motel Owner] Legal Eagles (1986) Scrooged (1988) Ghostbusters II (1989) "Get a Life" (1990) JFK (1991) Wayne's World (1992) [Noah Vanderhoft] Groundhog Day (1993) [Mayor?] Siobahn Fallon ............ Tina (Elaine's roommate) Other work: "Saturday Night Live" (1990) [sketch actress] | Courtney Gaines ........... Video Clerk ("The Smelly Car") | Other work: Children Of The Corn | Hardbodies | Can't Buy Me Love | Colors | The 'Burbs | Memphis Belle Teri Hatcher .............. Sidra ("The Implants") Tango And Cash (1989) [Sly's sister] "MacGyver" (?) [Penny Parker] "Quantum Leap [Star Crossed]" (?) [Donna Alessi] Clint Howard .............. Tobias ("The Trip") Other work: "Gentle Ben" (1967) Star Trek (1967)? [Balok] Huckleberry Finn (1975) (TV Movie) Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979) Night Shift (1982) Splash (1984) Cocoon (1985) Gung Ho (1986) "Gung Ho" (1986) Parenthood (1989) Tango & Cash (1989) Backdraft (1991) Rocketeer, The (1991) Far and Away (1992) "Space Rangers" (1993) Tawny Kitaen .............. Isabel ("The Nose Job") Other work: "Capitol" (1982) "Santa Barbara" (1984) Bachelor Party (1984) [Tom Hanks' fiancee] Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, The (1984) [Gwendoline] Witchboard (1985) "America's Funniest People" (1990) [Hostess] "WKRP in Cincinnati" (1991) [Mona Lovelace] "Eek the Cat" (1992) [Voice of ?] [Ex-wife of that Whitesnake guy (David Coverdale); she appeared in many of their videos] Edie McLurg ............... Voice of Mrs. Oliver ("The Old Man") Other work: "WKRP In Cincinnati" (1978) [Mrs. Herb Tarlek] Ferris Beuller's Day Off (1986) [Principal's Secretary] Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987) [Car rental lady] "Valerie" (1989) [Neighbour, Mrs. Pool?] ??? (bj835@cleveland.freenet.edu) notes: ``...the best thing she ever did was play Mrs. Marv Mendenhall, a sort of fake "Hints from Heloise" lady on Letterman's short-lived morning TV show.'' Valerie Mahaffey .......... Patrice ("The Truth") Other work: Northern Exposure (1991) [Eve - Emmy Award 1992] She has also guest-starred as: o John Allan Hill's daughter, Valerie, who Sam "picks up" in an episode of "Cheers" ("Achilles Hill"). o Was in a Quantum Leap episode, "The Boogieman" (even though I realise you're not supposed to say that name...) | Taylor Negron ............. Hairdresser ("The Smelly Car") | Other work: Young Doctors In Love (?) [Intern] | Easy Money (?) [Son-In-Law] | Better Off Dead (?) [Mailman] | Punchline | Nothing But Trouble | The Last Boy Scout (1992) [Heavy] Helen Slater .............. Becky Gelke ("The Good Samaritain") | Supergirl (?) Ruthless People (?) Secret Of My Success (?) City Slickers (1991) Lawrence Tierney .......... Alton Benes (Elaine's Dad) ("The Jacket") Other work: Greatest Show on Earth, The (1952) Prizzi's Honor (1985) Silver Bullet (1985) Naked Gun: From the Files Of Police Squad!, The (1988) City of Hope (1991) Reservoir Dogs (1992) [Joe, The Big Guy...] Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story (1993) (TV Movie) Anita Wise ................ Waitress ("The Robbery", "Male Unbonding") Other work: Stand-up comedienne 2.4.3) ...Integral To The Plot, But Not Seen Woody Allen, "The Alternate Side" John Cheever, "The Cheever Letters" Joe Dimaggio, "The Note" Mickey Mantle, "The Visa" David Letterman, "The Virgin" John F. Kennedy, Jr., "The Contest" Salman Rushdie, "The Implant" 2.5) Behind-The-Scenes-Type People 2.5.1) Larry David Co-creator, writer and producer of the show, Larry David is also the basis of the George character. Like Michael Richards, he was also a cast member of "Fridays". 2.5.2) Tom Cherones Director and Supervising producer of the show... <blah blah blah> |2.5.3) Larry Charles | ``We don't have a grand scheme... We are in a complete state of | panic virtually week to week in trying to come up with a great show. | In that panic stricken mode, we throw around ideas and we think | about stuff.'' -- Larry Charles | | Larry is a supervising producer and writer on the show. He has a | brief cameo in "The Airport" as the bearded, sunglass-wearing, | malodourous malcontent leaving the airplane bathroom just before | Elaine enters it and whiffs his "English garden" smell-trail. 3) Regular Show Aspects 3.1) The Diner ``"Nothing can be finer than eating in your diner"?'' -- Elaine quoting Jerry's autograph, "The Bubble Boy" [Okay, it's not the same diner in question, but I needed to put *something* here. Sue me...] The diner that the gang frequents on the show is called "Monk's". The exterior shots are of "Tom's Diner" in New York City (located on Broadway at 112th St.) Tom's is the subject of the song "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega on the album "Solitude Standing". Some a.t.s.'ers have debated the quality of the establishment: drb <barnes@ldeo.columbia.edu>: ``I've eaten there and the food stinks. Beware.'' Andy Lowry: ``I've eaten there many times, and the food does not stink. The place itself sort of stinks, and the 200-year-old red-headed waitress who called everybody "honey" sometimes had a foul odor about her, but the food was OK.'' Sara Susskind: ``Hey -- are you talking about Betty, the waitress who used to call every one "baby" (really thin, bright yellow hair)? She was there in the late '70's (I used to go there a lot when I went to Barnard). I ate there a few years ago and the owner said she had died. So, DON'T say nasty things about her, OK? ;-)'' Andy Lowry: ``Yes, Betty... and you're right, it was "baby" not "honey"... I don't mean any disrespect... she was beloved by many in the community. I was merely trying to paint a vivid picture for the rest of the net. 200 was obviously an exaggeration, but she *was* quite a bit older than your average diner waitress. And she did, sometimes have a bit of an odor about her... part of her charm, I'd say.'' 3.2) The Apartment ``Jerry: Yeah? George: It's George. Jerry: C'mon up...'' -- As cited in, what, 95% of all episodes? o Jerry's apartment is located at: 129 West 81st Jerry is in 5A, Kramer is in 5B (The address was given on a couple episodes of "Mad About You". Roderick Lee notes: ``Paul's apartment spans two episodes of "Mad About You". In "The Apartment," we find out that Kramer is Paul's tenant, but we don't find out the building address. We find out the address in the Christmas flashback episode, "When Jamie Met Paul".'' Also, George mentions the address in "The Boyfriend".) o The bike is a Klein (though he seemingly never uses it) o The Computer is a Macintosh Classic (though he seemingly never uses it). | Rumour has it (straight from Donna's fingers) that the Mac was taken from the old "Moonlighting" set-- it was on Maddie's desk in her office. However, Pascal Gosselin notes: ``This Mac Classic was purchased probably between October, 1990 and late 1991. The new manuals came out when Apple switched to brown recycled cardboard boxes. It is NOT a Classic II since those are always shipped with the new manuals.'' But, Donna insists: ``I got this directly from Joan Van Horn, Line Producer at "Seinfeld".'' Hey, maybe the Mac is from "Moonlighting" with all-new manuals. Besides, Jerry doesn't use computers to write with in real life anyway-- his most comfortable writing tools are Bic pens and large yellow legal pads. 3.3) Character Occupations: ``George: Yeah, interest. It's an amazing thing. You make money without doing anything... Jerry: Y'know I have friends who try to base their whole life on that principle. George: Really? Who? Jerry: Nobody you know...'' -- "The Junior Mints" Jerry: Stand-up comedian George: Ex-Real estate agent ("The Stakeout", "The Robbery", "The Revenge") Architect ;-) ("The Stakeout") Car Parker ("The Alternate Side") Proof-Reader ("The Red Dot") Presently co-writer of Jerry's show for NBC Elaine: Editor for Pendant Publishing (those bastards) Kramer: "Falls ass-backwards into money" (Has also had a couple of acting jobs: o One line in a Woody Allen film: "These pretzels are making me thirsty" ("The Alternate Side") o Murphy's secretary on an episode of "Murphy Brown" ("The Keys") o Model for Calvin Klein underwear ("The Pick")) Newman: United States Postal Worker ("The Old Man") Mr. S: Sells raincoats ("The Wallet") 4) Frequently Asked Questions (And Other Things You Should Know...) 4.1) What Is Kramer's Full Name? ``Dr. Reston: Kramer? Is that his first name or his last name? Elaine: Can we talk about something else...'' -- "The Wallet" | ``Kramer: If I had a son, I would name him Isocoles. Isocoles | Kramer.'' -- "The Handicapped Space" (or somesuch) Likely the most asked (or should I say "debated") questions is what is Kramer's full name on the show. Simply stated, Michael Richards plays "Kramer". | In a recent episode ("The Handicapped Space"), Kramer reveals that it | is his *last* name (see quote above). End of debate. | | End of debate? On USENET??? | | Oh right. What was I thinking. Now, of course, people will turn their | attention to what his first name might be. For the record, Jerry has joked to interviewers that Kramer's full name is "Kramer Versus Kramer", and one article has stated it as "Mr. Bent Kramer" (although that has since been refuted since another version of the article prints it as "Mr. Bent, Kramer"). | But remember, it's just "Mr. Kramer" until the show tells us otherwise. 4.2) What's Up With Jerry's Money? "I always feel like you get more if you pay more, so I try to pay the maximum." -- Jerry Seinfeld quoted in _GQ_ magazine, May, 1992. Many episodes of "Seinfeld" deal with Jerry losing mass quantities of money in one way or another, such as: o He paid $700 (estimate) for the jacket that got ruined ("The Jacket") o Paying hit and run damages ("The Good Samaritan") o Paying for the hooker for Steve who hung out in Jerry's apartment ("The Stranded") o Paying for the 20-year overdue book "Tropic Of Cancer" ("The Library") o Paying Uncle Leo $350 to get his watch back ("The Wallet") o Put $400 in his Dad's new wallet (which Uncle Leo also gets) ("The Wallet") o Paying Elaine's $200 phone bill ("The Cheever Letters") o Paying for the rent-a-car damages that George incurred ("The Parking Space") 4.3) What's Jerry and Elaine's Relationship? ``Elaine: Have you *totally* blocked out the entire time we were a couple?'' -- "The Stakeout" In the premiere episode "The Stakeout", we find out that Elaine and Jerry used to be "together" but are now "just friends". In a later | episode ("The Deal") they try to have a friendship ("this") with sex | ("that") without the tension and petty arguments that accompany them | ("the other"). So, at the end of the episode they are, in fact, | "together", although no episode after "The Deal" addresses this issue | again-- they have been "just friends" ever since. | (Thanks Evan for the correction. I wasn't paying attention, I guess.) 4.4) What's the Whole "New York Thing"? ``Jerry: I miss New York every second. I can't get enough of it. I have a house in Los Angeles, but I'm heterocoastal.'' -- "Entertainment Weekly", no. 165, April 9, 1993 Many a.t.s.'ers claim to have special insight into the show since a lot of the show's humour is based on living in New York City (episodes like "The Subway" particularly accent this) and there are numerous "Only in New York" subplots (such as Woody Allen making a film). Anyway, the consensus seems too be that you don't have to be a New Yorker to understand and appreciate the humour, but it helps you empathise with the characters when they get into situations like the above. 4.5) Is Pez the Official Fifth Food Group Of alt.tv.seinfeld? ``Jerry: What is that, a Pez Dispenser!?!'' -- "The Pez Dispenser" Is there a need to ask? 4.6) Snapple: Discuss ``Elaine: Snapple? Babu's Brother: No... Too fruity...'' -- "The Visa" If Pez is the official fifth food group of a.t.s., Snapple must be what you wash it down with. Snapple is a fruit drink local to the U.S. which comes in many different flavours (cherry, raspberry, apple...) The gang drinks it | frequently on the show. It is now apparently available in several | convenience stores in Southern Ontario. It is "brewed" in Maine and | is very popular in the North-East U.S. 4.7) Whither Official "Seinfeld" Merchandise? ``Helen: How can anyone not like him?'' -- Jerry's Mom on Jerry, "" | Talk to Donna Tschetter. She can be reached by email at: | | wk02095@worldlink.com | | Or contacted directly at: | | 12 Skidmore Drive | Saratoga Springs, NY | 12866 | | (518) 587-3105 She has a veritable varied verifiable variety of stuff, including T-shirts and mugs. Donna provides descriptions of some of the available T-shirts (all are given Jerry's personal stamp of approval, by the way): o The Kramer - "He is a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't look away!" Full color Brute on white shirt. *Awesome* artwork. This is by far the runaway favorite with the masses (see ASCII artwork, below). o Cantstandya, cantSTANDya...! George of course-- from "The Wedgie" episode. White shirt black and white photo. o The Clown - "That is one Angry clown...!" White clown on black shirt. From the "Crazy Joe Davola" shows. Jerry went absolutely *wild* for this one! It is a white clown photo on a black shirt! Looks really neat and off the wall. o Jerry in stand-up pose with microphone in hand on black shirt. This is a nice basic pose of our boy. How can anyone not like this shirt? o Kramer in Sunglasses with the quote, "In my mind, I'm already gone..." Shows the K-man in Blue shirt with smaller photos of him in yellow shirt to the side. This was Jerry's second favorite-- neat colors and presentation. o "My Cubans" -- Kramer in big easy chair with cigar in mouth and smoke in his face, shirt unbuttoned halfway down - big hair. | o "Queen of the Castle" -- Elaine in a paisley vest, smiling with | her hands on her hips with "Queen of the Castle" underneath. All shirts include the official Seinfeld logo. Coming soon: Sweatjackets, Mock Turtlenecks, Sweatshirts, Baseball Shirts, and Sweatshorts with logo. Other places now carrying Seinfeld merchandise: o Boxer Bay (on the West Coast, U.S.A.) o Dayton's o Gadzooks o Jean Country o Macy's o Merry Go Round o Rich's o Tower Card And Gift (see below for address) Diane Alexander has sniffed out "Seinfeld" greeting cards. Some examples cited (in Entertainment Weekly, March 19, 1993): o Jerry, sitting on the couch and listening on the phone. The caption reads, "You gotta see the baby. Again with the baby. When are you gonna see the baby? Why can't they just send us a tape?" o George get-well cards: "I'd like to help, but my neck..." Donna Tschetter has found them at: Tower Card and Gift 6218 Glenwood Avenue Raleigh, NC 27612 (919) 781-0040 Ask for Mark and tell him you're from the 'Net. He'll ship an assortment for $20 plus shipping. Pam Culbreth has found other stuff: ``My officemate (you know, the guy who gets me singing "Master Of The House..." :) Don't get me started!!!) got a catalog in the mail called "What On Earth". In it there's some cool Seinfeld stuff... T-shirts and mugs... The T-shirts are definitely different than the ones in the catalog I got from Donna Tschetter [Donna notes Pam's stuff is from Andrews and McMeel; the same stuff you get at Tower Card And Gift] One T-shirt is black with the "Seinfeld" logo on the front. Two others have a small picture of Jerry with the words: "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" (I love it!) and the other one has Kramer with: "These pretzels are making me thirsty". They're $16.95 each (XL only). There's 4 mugs, $6.95 each: o Elaine: "Don't concern yourself with me because I'm good. I'm very good. I'm really very, very, good." o Jerry: "Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what you can do for me" o George: "Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good." o Kramer: "I'm human... in my way" The phone number is (216) 963-6555. There's also "Northern Exposure", "Star Trek", and [Gasp!] "Home Improvement" stuff in there too, but you have to search for it. The "Seinfeld" stuff made it to the back cover (proving that "Seinfeld" is better than "Home Improvement"), and there wasn't any "Roseanne" or "Jackie Thomas" stuff to be found!)'' Mark (at Tower Card And Gift) is also carrying Kramer lithographs (the exact same design as the "Loathsome brute" T-shirt, above) for $19 plus $4 shipping. Curtis Schaible took the time to ASCII-ify the basic design, which I find to be *far* too cool not to be reproduced here (Can't get enough of that hair...): THE KRAMER ============================================ || (((((( || || ))))))) || || (((((((( || || | o o \ || || (| ^ |) || || __\_~_/ \___ || || __-- / \ / \ |\---__ || || / /\\/\ | / \| \ - || || | --\ | / -- | || || | \ \ | / / / | || || | \ \ | / | || || | \\|// / | || || | \ \|/ / / || || | |o / / || || | \ | / / || || | _ |o / /| || || | _/__(---___/_ / | || || \/ -<____>-- -_/ | || || |\_=_=_=_=)___/ | || || | =-=-=- | || ============================================ He is a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't look away. Another place to get this lithograph is "Hightech Color". Telephone at 1-800-727-9935. They do mail-order and credit cards. 4.8) "Seinfeld" vs. "Home Improvement" Sigh... Much ado about nothing, but a.t.s. has become a bit of a soap box for people to state their views on why "Home Improvement" sucks (or does not suck). This is only being debated since the two shows occupied the same time slot (Wednesday, 9:00) for much of this year. Generalising, one can see that "HI" is watched more by married couples and children than "Seinfeld". 4.9) List Of Awards Won By "Seinfeld" This year, "Seinfeld" won several American Comedy Awards, including best TV series, best actor (Jerry), supporting actor (Jason) and best supporting actress (Julia). Many have scoffed at the exclusion of Michael Richards, and the lack of "Seinfeld" to make the top nominees for anything at the People's Choice Awards. "Seinfeld" won two Emmys this year-- Writing ("The Fix-Up") and ... The Directors Guild of America awarded "Seinfeld" best comedy series honours this year also for the episode "The Contest". The show also won a prestigious Peabody award for broadcasting this year (one of only a few sitcoms to ever win one). 4.10) If You Were On A Deserted Island And Could Only Have One Episode Of "Seinfeld" To Watch, Which One Would It Be? (Debating The Validity Of The Question Is Left As An Assignment For The Reader) Andy Hillary conducted a poll to answer this very question, and here were the (overwhelming) results: TITLE: VOTES: ----------------------- ------ The Contest 29 The Boyfriend 3 The Subway 2 The Airport 2 The Alternate Side 2 The Astronaut Pen 2 The Mystery Woman 2 The Bubble Boy 1 The Parking Garage 1 The Chinese Restaurant 1 The Keys 1 The Outing 1 The Limo 1 Watch this space for the winners of the "Pezzie" awards, coming soon. 4.11) Who is Art Vandelay? ``Jerry: Well what'dya want me to say, that I just wandered in here?! George: We're having lunch with a friend-- he works in the building. Jerry: What is *his* name? George: Bert... Har... bin... son. Bert Har-bin-son. Jerry: Bert Harbinson? It sounds made up. George: No good? Alright, how about Art... Corr..... Jerry: Art Corr... George: ...velay... Jerry: Corvelay? George: Yeah, right. [...later...] George: I forgot who I am! Who am I?! Jerry: You're you. We're having lunch with Art Corvelay. George: Vandelay! Jerry: Corvelay! [...later still...] Jerry: Oh, we're meeting a friend of ours for lunch. He works here in the building. George: Yeah, Art *Vandelay*.'' -- And so it begins, "The Stakeout" Art Vandelay was born in the first season premiere episode ("The Stakeout") when George invented a name for a fictitious friend he and Jerry were going to see. George subsequently uses the name "Vandelay Industries" as a fake company he sought work at in order to continue his unemployment insurance ("The Boyfriend Part II"). A couple of episodes later, George cites "Art Vandelay" as one of the authors he likes when interviewing for the proof reading job Elaine got him, which he lost because of the, er, indiscretion he had with the cleaning lady ("The Red Dot"). 4.12) Does Jerry Read alt.tv.seinfeld? ``People are interested in me *way* beyond what's appropriate.'' -- Jerry in an interview with Barbara Walters Doubtful. Extremely doubtful. Really extremely doubtful. But he | does apparently have an account on Prodigy. Elaine, er, I mean | *Julia* apparently has (had?) an account on Prodigy as well. 4.13) Apartment Props And The Real Life Jerry Seinfeld ``George: His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal...'' -- "The Visa" ``Do you know that this is the way people negotiate in the Bizarro world?'' -- Jerry to George, "The Pitch" | ``I am Superman on the show, George is Perry White, Elaine is Lois Lane | and Kramer is Jimmy Olsen.'' -- Jerry on "Hollywood Insider" Many "subtle" props in the apartment reflect Jerry's real-life persona. As such, we've seen Superman magnets on the fridge and there have been a couple of other Super references besides the ones above: George comparing Susan's dad's cabin to the Fortress Of Solitude, Keith Hernandez complementing Jerry on his "Jimmy Olsen" bit, Elaine and Sidra talk about guys who like Superman ("The Implants"), and Jerry brings up the topic again in "The Smelly Car". Also, in every episode there is an exhorbinant amount of cereal in his | cupboards. There have been as many as 12(?) boxes on his shelf at once. Some of the brands recognised: Apple Jacks, Cheerios, Chex, Corn Flakes, Double Crunch, Kix, Rice Krispies, Trix It has also been publicly stated that Jerry (and the other "fab four") will appear on boxes of Kellogg's cereal in the U.S. only-- not here in Canada :-(. According to TV Guide (March 27th), Jerry & Co. will appear on boxes of Low-Fat Granola (Will Smith of "Fresh Prince of Bel- Air" will be on Raisin Bran and Tim Daly, Crystal Bernard and Steven Weber of "Wings" will be on Frosted Bran). Bob Warznak also notes: ``Some articles have pointed out that he also is the Imelda Marcos of white sneakers. He wears them until they get scuffed. This was also shown in "The Virgin"'' 4.14) "Is George Jewish? Is He Italian? Can He Drive A Three-Inch Nail Through A Board With His...?" So much bandwidth... So little time... As far as I can tell, it's been decided George plays a stereotypical Jewish character who is, in fact, Jewish (asking for the kosher meal in "The Trip", etc.), who happens to have an Italian surname. Thus, I think we can assume he is, in fact, a Jewish-Italian American. An article from "Palm Beach Jewish World" says, ``Even with a name like Costanza, George is decidedly Jewish. "Sure", says the actor who portrays him, "because he's written by Jews and played by one."'' 4.15) George's SAT Scores ``<Insert appropriate quote here...>'' -- "The Cafe" George said he got 1409 (which he admitted was a lie). Anyone who remembers how SATs are scored would know this score is impossible to get since SAT scores always end in a zero. 1400 or 1410 would have been possible scores, but 1409 is impossible by a single individual. Rob Bernard (among others) counters with: ``From my understanding, SATs _used_ to be scored with digits from 0 to 9 on the end, instead of the now current 0 on the end. Thus, a 1409 used to be possible.'' Roderick Lee adds: ``Based on discussion concerning a similar error on "The Wonder Years", the scoring system changed sometime around 1972-4. Since George almost assuredly took the test before then, the score is possible for him. But, my guess is that the writers did this deliberately to show that even George can't lie about his SAT scores properly.'' 4.16) What's A "Chucker"? ``Keith! Remember me, from the locker room? The chucker!" -- George, "The Boyfriend" A "chucker" is someone who takes bad shots. A "chuck" is a bad shot, i.e., a low-percentage attempt executed with poor form. A synonym might be a "brick". Chuck can also be used as a general synonym for throw, e.g., "Hey, can you chuck that newspaper over here?" But, you see, in basketball, one should not be randomly throwing the ball at the basket, one should rather be shooting. Anyway, George was accused of being such a beast by both Jerry and Keith Hernandez in "The Boyfriend". 4.17) A Couple Tidbits On Character Name Selection Donna Tschetter notes: ``This may be totally off the wall, but I think Jerry incorporated "Vandelay" as a fictitious name in the scripts because he's dating Vendela, that model of amazing attributes as seen in this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. He also used the name "Joe Davola" for the crazed maniac who kicked Kramer in the head when a Fox executive with that name asked him to use it in the show.'' | Lately, Vendela has appeared on a talk show and mentioned some other | guy as her main squeeze, so as far as we know Jerry and Vendela are | no longer a "thing" (maybe she was scared off by "The Outing"? ;-)). 4.18) The Ballad Of Kramer's Jacket Bob Warznak explains: ``It started in "The Parking Garage" when George comments about it being a nice jacket, and Kramer explains the whole story behind it, and how it endows the wearer with incredible luck with women. "The Cafe" featured the story line where "the guy" comes back to get the jacket. "The Nose Job" features the bit about where Kramer and Elaine going to "the guy's" apartment, after he's in prison, to get it back. This features an extremely funny scene where the landlord lets Kramer in and tells him the story about the horrible women that "the guy" used to date -- Babs Kramer. The coat shows up again in "The Cheever Letters" when Kramer trades it for some Cuban cigars.'' So, barring some storming of the Cuban embassy, "The Coat" has experienced it's own bit of closure and we likely won't see it again... Or will we? 4.19) How Does One Go About Getting Tickets To A Taping Of The Show? According to Steve Eli: ``Call (310) 795-5254. This is the office of the dude that handles tickets -- I believe that phone number has a message which gives out the address to write to. Here is the address from the bottom of letter I got from them: Staff Pro / Corporate Office 3662 Katella Ave, Suite 110 Los Alamitos CA 90720'' 4.20) Junior Mint Mousse Recipe As posted by Sauda@Maine: Junior Mint Mousse ------------------ 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa 2 tablespoons milk 2 tablespoons butter or margarine 5 packages (1.6 oz each) Junior Mints 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed (about 3 cups) In small saucepan, dissolve cocoa in milk. Add butter and Junior Mints and stir over low heat until mixture is smooth. Transfer to bowl and cool slightly. Stir in one cup whipped topping then gently fold in remaining whipped topping. Spoon into individual dessert glasses. Chill until set, at least 4 hours. Garnish, if desired, with additional whipped topping, Junior Mints or fruit. Makes about 4 servings. "It's very refreshing". 4.21) Who Is John Cheever? ``Elaine: Have you read any of his stuff? Jerry: Oh, a little...'' -- "The Cheever Letters" John Cheever is a famed author who died in 1982. He has penned many best-sellers, including "The Falconer" and "The Cheever Letters". He was also a prominent writer of short stories in The New Yorker. He won a Pulitzer Prize in 1978. Anyway, in "The Cheever Letters", some of John Cheever's letters to Mr. Ross (Susan's father), are found in the remains of the fire. They detail an intimate relationship between the two, leading to some rather uncomfortable (yet hilarious) moments. 4.22) Jackie Thomas: Is He, In Fact, The Anti-Christ? "The Jackie Thomas Show" is a sitcom on ABC which stars Tom Arnold (Roseanne Barr's husband). Anyway, it had referenced "Seinfeld" a couple of times in it's early shows, likely because one of the show's head writers is Carol Leifer, Jerry's close friend and basis for the Elaine character on "Seinfeld". Anyway, the show was never much liked by most of the posters on the SDG's, and then earlier this year, a very strange and sketchy incident turned off many more SDG'ers and even brought death chants to "The Jackie Thomas Show" from normally pacifist netters. It seems that there was construction or something going on in the "Seinfeld" parking lot, so some people were "re-routed" to park elsewhere. One of these detoured people was Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She was apparently told to park in spot "X", so she did. It turns out this spot is, in fact, Tom Arnold's spot. Tom apparently was not pleased | with his spot being taken, so he, well, took a Polaroid of John | Goodman's bare behind and left it on Julia's window with a nasty note telling her not to park there anymore. Well, the entertainment media had a bit of a field day with both parties involved presenting their side of the story, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, "Jackie Thomas" referenced it in one of their shows with Jackie (Tom Arnold) asking the staff for Polaroids of their bottoms, etc. Anyhoots, "The Jackie Thomas Show" has been seemingly canceled by ABC (Roseanne has recently publicly stated (on "The Tonight Show") that both her show, "Roseanne", and "The Jackie Thomas Show" will move over to CBS after her contract runs out with ABC in 1994). Hey, I never said it was a particularly *interesting* story. Just trying to answer this FAQ. | Kevin Klinge relates this discussion on "The Howard Stern Show" | between Howard and Robin Quivers that sheds a little more light | on the Arnold's attitude towards JLD, the "Seinfeld" cast and also | the fans of the show: | | Howard Stern (HS) | Robin Quivers (RQ) | RQ:...well now Roseanne has stepped into it and she has decided | that they should "end" the little parking tift... but just | before deciding that they should all let it go, Roseanne did | say that Julia Louis-Dreyfus was the one who owed Tom the | apology... | HS:Yeah, sure... keep dreaming... | The girl parked in Tom Arnold's parking space. She's a | very talented actress.. very funny girl... pretty... the | whole works - she's got it all going for herself... | RQ:Well, don't you know that irritates Tom? Come on... (laughing) | HS:Yeah, Tom Arnold, of course, who's bitter at the whole world | because the whole world's in on the joke... Here's a guy | who doesn't even deserve a parking space. He should be like | the rest of everyone on a subway somewhere. But he's got a | parking space at a fancy studio, and instead of taking the | next spot, [hmmm, possibly the 3rd space?] he could have left | her a little note "hey, BTW, this is my parking spot, would | you mind moving your car?". No. He puts a pornographic | picture on her windshield, one of his buttocks, or someone | else's buttocks, and writes her a note filled with foul | language. And look, this guy, he's a bore. And quite frankly, | this girl should not even get involved in this. And these | are two people that really don't even deserve your respect. | RQ:Well anyway, Roseanne says that the whole Seinfeld cast has | an attitude... | HS:Oh yeah, now she's going to clean up that? | RQ:Yeah. "They're a bit uppity," she thinks. "They have an | attitude over there. They think they're doing Samuel Beckett | instead of a sitcom." | HS:Compared to Tom Arnold, they are doing Samuel Beckett! 4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How About Shelbyville? How Do I Find Out? Jerry's current tour starts May 1st in Atlantic City and will continue throughout the summer. He is playing mostly places where the ratings for "Seinfeld" are lower than the national average (i.e. there are a lot of new places this year). We know of these places (and some dates) so far: Atlantic City, NJ .... May 1st Rochester, NY ........ May 14th Albany, NY ........... May 15th Madison, WI .......... May 23rd | Las Vegas, NV ........ June 11-13th New Orleans, LA ...... June 15th | Des Moines, IA ....... June 17th Portland, OR ......... June 24th | Nashville, TN ........ July 1st Norfolk, VA Salt Lake City, UT Tucson, AZ At each city there will be two shows: one at 7 PM, and one at 10 PM. Shapiro/West in Los Angeles will tell you if he is coming near you, but they won't give out lists. I seem to have lost the number (but I'm sure if you call information 1-310-555-1212 they can give you the number for Shapiro/West). 4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How About Shelbyville? How Do I Find Out? Jerry's current tour starts May 1st in Atlantic City and will continue throughout the summer. He is playing mostly places where the ratings for "Seinfeld" are lower than the national average (i.e. there are a lot of new places this year). We know of these places (and some dates) so far: Atlantic City, NJ .... May 1st Rochester, NY ........ May 14th Albany, NY ........... May 15th Madison, WI .......... May 23rd | Las Vegas, NV ........ June 11-13th New Orleans, LA ...... June 15th | Des Moines, IA ....... June 17th Portland, OR ......... June 24th | Nashville, TN ........ July 1st Norfolk, VA Salt Lake City, UT Tucson, AZ At each city there will be two shows: one at 7 PM, and one at 10 PM. Shapiro/West in Los Angeles will tell you if he is coming near you, but they won't give out lists. I seem to have lost the number (but I'm sure if you call information 1-310-555-1212 they can give you the number for Shapiro/West). Almost all of his dates have been sold out already, BTW. "Gee, Scott... What a great big help you are... Phbbbbt...." 4.24) You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Nip Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nip... There is some confusion as to what is the exact name of the episode in which Elaine exposes her nipple on her Christmas cards and Jerry picks his nose (er, I mean, *doesn't* pick his nose). Some refer to it as "The Nip", others as "The Pick". I myself go with Bob Warznak's Episode Guide, which lists it as "The Pick". Anyway, they are one in the same. Don't be confused. Also, "The Airport" is sometimes referred to as "The Airplane", and recently Jerry introduced "The Boyfriend" as "The New Friend" when it was re-broadcast on April 12th (although "The Boyfriend" was actually printed on the screen at the start of the show (which is the only time they've actually done *that*)). Where was I? Oh yeah, so don't get confused. These double-named shows are just one show each. 4.25) Barenaked Ladies (And Men...) Donna Tschetter is fascinated by nude people. Then again, who isn't? Anyway, she makes a valid point in pondering all the occurrences of naked (or semi-naked) individuals appearing on the show (well, they don't *appear* naked, mind you, but they *are* there...) Anyway, | these U.F.O.'s (Unclothed Figure Observances) have been noted by various netters: o Elaine at the bar telling people she does the housework completely naked, ("") o Jerry in the Subway: ``If the Mets win the pennant, I'll sit here naked with ya'' -- this said to a large naked guy, ("The Subway") o George telling the woman he wanted to dump that he was "Buck Naked", porno star, ("The Outing") o Elaine and Jerry ending up with this, that and the other after watching the "Naked Channel", ("The Deal") o Kramer-- "It's like a sauna in here", ("") o Kramer loses "The Contest" because of the naked woman in the apartment building across the street from Jerry's window, ("The Contest") o Kramer brags that he "snuck a peek" at Jerry and George in the locker room, ("The Boyfriend") o Elaine exposes her nipple in a personalised Christmas card (photo taken by Kramer), ("The Pick") o Elaine whines to Jerry: ``Kramer saw me naked. How can I go on?'' in "The Truth". o Kramer offered to let Jerry's artist girlfriend, Nina, paint him "au naturel" (she said ``No, thats the last thing I want you to do'' (wise move, if'n you ask me...) o Tia, Jerry's model girlfriend (from "The Airport"), appears in an advertisement for jeans in which she is shown stepping out of a shower with nothing on but a washcloth. o George was semi-naked after the woman on "The Subway" handcuffed him to the bed and took off with his clothes. ``Will I see you again?'' (Chuckle...) o George's mom tells him how she reacted to the UP story about he and Jerry were gay. She read about it on the toilet, fell off and hurt her hip: ``I had to call the super. I was half-naked!'' o The housekeeper from Senegal rubs oil on George's bald head while he sits in his skivvies on the couch, ("The Old Man") o At the end of "The Nip", Jerry and Elaine try to figure out if that is, indeed, *that* part of Kramer, in the Calvin Klein underwear advertisement. |4.26) Poll Results: Favourite Supporting Character (From alt.tv.seinfeld) | | Chad Skelton conducted a poll to find a.t.s.'s favourite supporting | character on the show. Here are the results (from 32 respondents): | | | GRAPH BY PERCENTAGE: / 25% / 50 % | | | | KRAMER : ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 53.1% | ELAINE : ||||||||||||||||||||| 25.0% | GEORGE : ||||||||| 9.4% | UNCLE LEO : ||| 3.1% | MORTY : ||| 3.1% | BUBBLE BOY : ||| 3.1% | SPANISH GUY: ||| 3.1% |4.27) Trivia Tidbits and Stuff That Doesn't Really Fit Anywhere Else | | o Episodes in which Jerry's apartment isn't shown: | "The Parking Garage", "The Chinese Restaurant", "The Pen", | "The Subway", "The Limo", "The Movie", "The Airport" | o Episodes in which Jerry's apartment isn't shown for long ;-): | "The Heart Attack", "The Trip (Part I)" | o More? 5) Glossary Of "Seinfeldisms" Inspired both by the "Seinfeldisms" discussion awhile back on the 'Net and the excellent glossary contained in the April 9th "Entertainment Weekly" magazine article "Sein-language" [Bruce Fretts, author], I have culled many quotes, props, incidents and characters that will aid the newcomer to get with the program, as it were. What follows is a mini glossary, most of which is taken from the aforementioned article, although a.t.s. and "VI"'s perspectives are represented in quantity as well. Additions are always welcome. NOTABLE ONE-LINERS: ------------------ ``Had I known this sort of thing was frowned upon...'' -- George tries to get out of sleeping with the cleaning lady at his new job at Pendant Publishing (those bastards), ("The Red Dot") ``Hey, I got a rubber pencil thing happening here.'' -- Elaine, ("The Cheever Letters") | ``I can't carry a pencil-- I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.'' | -- George ``I'm out.'' -- Kramer loses "The Contest", ("The Contest"). ``It moved.'' -- Reason for George's homosexual panic, experienced while getting a massage from a man, ("The Note"). | ``It's like a ski lodge...'' -- Kramer's description of the new look of | his pad now that he has fake-wood wallpaper everywhere, ("The Junior | Mints", "The Smelly Car") ``Master of the house... Keeper of the zoo...'' -- George, with that damn song from "Les Miserables" in his head, ("The Jacket"). ``Maybe the dingo ate your baby...'' -- Elaine to a snooty party guest, ("") | ``My father didn't pay for parking, my mother, my brother, nobody. It's | like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay for it, if I apply | myself, maybe I can get it for free.'' -- George ``Not that there's anything wrong with that'' -- Jerry and George's knee-jerk addendum to all their denials of a tabloid's report that they were gay lovers, ("The Outing"). | ``The Dewey Decimal System-- what a sham that was.'' -- Kramer ``The panties that your mother laid out for you?'' -- Jerry's non sequitur, mood-killing reply to a girlfriend's precoital comment about her panties. Later, Elaine uses this to zing Jerry... ``We're living in a society, here!'' -- George's attention getter in "The Chinese Restaurant" and "The Airport". CHARACTERS AND NAMES NOT DISCUSSED ELSEWHERE IN THE FAQ: -------------------------------------------------------- Babu Bhatt: Pakistani restaurateur befriended by Jerry in "The Cafe". Jerry inadvertently ruins his business, and in a later episode, "The Visa", he kinds of, well, gets him deported (with Elaine's help). Biff: Jerry's taunting nickname for George in a few episodes, e.g. ("The Boyfriend") [From Biff Loman, the "ne'er do well brother" in "Death of a Salesman".] Bubble Boy: Surly, plastic-tented adult fan of Jerry's ("The Bubble Boy"). Buck Naked: George's name for himself if he ever became a porn star, ("The Outing"). Can't-STAND-Ya: Cruel high school moniker for George; from Costanza. Delores: "Apparent" name of Jerry's girlfriend whose name he doesn't remember (see: "Mulva"). I say "apparent" because it's never actually confirmed on the show that Delores is, in fact, her name, although personally I'm sure it is (that or "Regina" ;-)). Farfel: Obnoxious dog left in Jerry's care by a drunken airplane seatmate, ("The Dog"). Mary Hart: Entertainment Tonight anchor whose voice gave Kramer seizures. Golda Meir: All-time ugliest world leader, according to Elaine, ("The Outing"). Jerry goes with Brezhnev, BTW... Mulva: One of Jerry and George's guesses at Jerry's girlfriend's name which he forgot; she had told him that it rhymed with a female body part. Other guesses include: Celeste, Kest, Rest, Sest, Hest, Aretha, Bovary, Gipple and Loleola, ("The Junior Mints"). Nip: Teasing nickname given to Elaine after one of her nipples accidentally appeared in her Christmas card photo, ("The Pick"). O'Brien and Murphy: Names Jerry and George adopt for themselves in order to sneak into O'Brien's waiting limo at the airport ("The Limo"). Of course, O'Brien ends up being this big-wig Neo-Nazi. Isn't that just always the way? Ping: Chinese food delivery boy Elaine accidentally hit with her car. He first appears in "The Tape", then in "The Virgin" and again in "The Visa". The Smog Strangler: Serial killer Kramer was mistaken for while in L.A., ("The Trip"). Yo Yo Ma: Cellist whose name Kramer kept repeating after being kicked in the head by Crazy Joe Davola, ("The Pitch"). TERMINOLOGY: ------------ The Atomic Wedgie: Underwear torture suffered by George in high school gym, "The Library". Double Dipping: Sticking a chip back in dip after taking a bite; social faux pas George committed at a funeral. My friends and I have a counter manouver, the "One-and-A-Half Dip With Twist" whereby you dip the chip, bite, then dip the unbit end in the dip again. This, at least in my social circles, is acceptable behavior. Hand: What one must maintain in a relationship; control; as in "You gotta have hand - you got no hand", ("The Pez Dispenser"). Master of your domain: Title bestowed upon those who abstain from masturbation, ("The Contest"). My boys: Jerry's pet name for his genitals; also George's name for his sperm ("The Fix-Up"). PROPS: ------ The Beach: Fragrance created by Kramer in "The Pez Dispenser", which is stolen by Calvin Klein ("The Pick"). Botticelli: Maker of a pair of Elaine's shoes coveted by other women, ("The Shoes"). Bouillabaisse: French stew Kramer makes in "The Stakeout". Chocolate Fudge Sundae With The Fudge On The Bottom: Perfect dessert food which allows for control of your fudge intake, ("The Airport"). Cuban Cigars: A gift to George from Susan's dad ("The Pitch"); passed on to Kramer, who accidentally burned down Susan's dad's cabin with one, ("The Bubble Boy", "The Cheever Letters"). Dockers: Brand of Levi's jeans. Jerry's girlfriend Donna dumps him when she finds out (because of Kramer blurting it out when Jerry introduces her, of course) that he's been talking about her behind her back (Jerry told Kramer how inane it was that she actually *liked* those stupid commercials), ("The Phone Message"). Drake's Coffee Cake: A preferred snack food of Jerry and his pals, ("The Suicide"). Gatorade: Drink Kramer persuaded a friend to pour on their victorious soft-ball coach, causing the coach to die of exposure and the friend to become a drug addict, ("The Pez Dispenser"). Glamour: Magazine George was ogling when his mom caught him masturbating, ("The Contest"). Hennigan's: Brand of scotch enjoyed by Jerry and his pals in numerous episodes (e.g. "The Boyfriend"). The Junior Mints: "Refreshing" candy integral to the plot of "The Junior Mints". The Kosher Meal: What George wants when he and Jerry fly to L.A. to look for Kramer ("The Trip"), also what Elaine doesn't want (even though she doesn't even know what it is) when she flies coach in "The Airport". The Muffin: Snack ordered by the cop preventing him from protecting Jerry from Crazy Joe Davola outside of Monk's ("The Ticket"). The Pen: Rare NASA writing tool reluctantly given to Jerry by a family friend; Jerry's mother made him give it back. It wrote upside-down and everything, ("The Pen"). Pez Dispensers: Candy poopers, ("The Pez Dispenser"). "Ponce De Leon": Movie Jerry told Elaine he went to see with George instead of "Prognosis Negative". "Prognosis Negative": Movie Jerry promised to see with Elaine but went to see with George instead. "Rochelle, Rochelle": Rather "adult" movie Jerry, George, Elaine and Buckles go see (independently) instead of "CheckMate", ("The Movie"). George, in a later episode ("The Smelly Car"), rents the | flick and it ends up getting stolen. It is described as: "...a | young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk..." Snapple: Fruity soft drink often found in Jerry's refrigerator. Yoo Hoo: Carbonated Chocolate drink. I have some every time I go to the States. "Mmmm... Chocolate..." 6) Acknowledgements This Info file would not exist without the help of many, many people from a.t.s., "VI", and everyone else who contributed information and corrections. Most notably, Anca I. Busuioc, Roderick Lee, Kevin Klinge, Donna Tschetter and Bob Warznak have contributed greatly to make this list what it is. Other significant contributors include: Diane Alexander, bj835@cleveland.Freenet.edu, Raymond Chen, Pam Culbreth, Myron Dahn, Steve Eli, Mike Galuza, Edson T. Gin, | Lionel Goodfield, Jen Hewitt, Andy Hillary, Mike Jaeger, Tom Mahaffey, | Larry Necowitz, Curtis Schaible, John Schiermeier and Todd Stewart. If I've missed (or messed up) your name and it should be here, let me know... Thanks skillions, guys. =========================================================================== This Info File and FAQ List is compiled and maintained by Scott Simpson through many more life-endangering hours of laborious and grueling time at the keyboard. Distribute this file freely, but please leave in this disclaimer so that years from now when I'm visiting Malaysia some villager will approach me on the street and recognise me as the guy who finally wrote a FAQ for alt.tv.seinfeld and brought peace and harmony not only to that newsgroup, but to the world as well. Thanks.