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The Homepage of God
It was only a matter of time before the Almighty himsel got his own place
in cyberspace. Now find out what kind of pop music is the Lord's favorite.
I guess this is what he did on the seventh day, right'
Vanagons and Buses in the
Movies
From The Pink Panther Returns to Dazed and Confused, big vans and buses have
been appearing in films since the beginning of history of film. Now you can
find them all in one place. Fast fact: The only moment when
human beings would choose to get hit by a bus if the remaining option was
to view useless movie pages, a Tom Arnold movie or an episode of Ally McBeal.
Mr.
T vs. the World's Tallest Tree
Coming this SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY, the battle of the century as the toughest
member of the A* Team takes on the biggest work of Mother Nature's Fury!!!
Be there!!!
(I'd put my money on the tree. There's a
better chance the crowd might turn on Mr. T.)
James Kirk Search Engine
Having trouble finding the lyrics to William Shatner's version of "Lucy in
the Sky With Diamonds"? Type it in the custom search engine and find as fast
as the U.S.S. Enterprise at warp speed nine.
("There's...just...no....time, Mr. Sulu!
We must...divert...the dilythium crystals...to...Yahoo!)
Eric Idle Drove My Car!
What happens when an ordinary schmoe like Marc lends his car to Monty
Python alum Eric Idle? Find out on this wacky web page of weird worthlessness.
(Someone makes this page go away! Ni! Ni!
Ni!)
Bryant Renfroe, Kathie Lee Gifford's Former Hairdresser
Artists come and go through the sands of time -- Pablo Picasso, George Bernard
Shaw, William Shakespeare, Alfred Hitchcock, (Aaron Spelling)... And now,
get ready to praise the new artist for the generation, Kathie Lee Gifford's former
hair designer Bryant Renfroe. (I didn't know
that sweatshops hired hairdressers! HELLO! Thanks everyone, I'm here every
Friday!)
The Cult of Jimmy Carter
You are powerless to Jimmy Carter....you cannot resist the charm of Jimmy
Carter. Resistance is futile...Avoidance is moot....Turning away is impossible.
You...worship...Jimmy...Carter. (Danny, that's
the last time we go to that Scientology meeting for the free donuts and coffee.)
Is Jesse Helms Dead Yet?
The world has watched and waited for that fateful day. Now you can answer
the questions that has been asked by so many Americans...
(Is Strom Thurmond a person scientists brought back from the dead or is he
just operating one some living nerves that are still floating around his vacant
body?)
Celebrity Decapitation
It's famous people that the world over hates and you get to watch some bleeding-heart
masochist rip their craniums clean off. What more do you want? Ok, celebrities
ripping each other's heads off would be better.
(Here's a moral dilema: Danny Bonaduce. Everyone wants to rip his head off,
but he's technically not a celebrity. What do we do now?)
Driveways
of the Rich and Famous
Celebrities have more than just a fancy car and a big home, they also have
some kick-ass driveways! Check out the only site on the web that dares to
get up close and personal with some of the world's most premiere pavements.
(I'll bet the real reason this guy takes
pictures of these people's driveways is because the restraining order only
lets them go up to one-hundred yards.)
Gillian Anderson's Language Page
America's sweetest FBI agent has spawned a series of sites, singled-out by
strange and stupid supporters. Now speak the speech of sci-fi stapleheads
that started statewide hysteria by the spaced out stapleheads' spouses.
(I wonder if there's a translation for the phrase "I am going to vomit, can
you help me find a bathroom please?" Oh wait, I know. "The FOX network, por
favor.")
The Joe Camel Home Page
Great billboard mascots come and go through the sands of time. Now we pay
tribute to a character whose legend influenced an entire generation...
(to smoke until their lungs shrunk to the size of a closed fist and develop
mouth cancer. Hey, wait a minute...)
Saddam Hussein Photo Gallery
Stroll through the halls of the gallery and bask in the power ofone of the
world's primerie megalomaniacs. This place has got practically every shot,
frown and wince of the cranky Middle East mogul. We suggest you skip the lingerie
section. (Fast fact: the Saddam Hussein Photo
Gallery is the only art gallery in the world that is drenched in human saliva
twenty-four hours a day.)
Shake It, Martha Stewart!
Guys, who do you think is the hottest new personality on television today?
Christina Applegate? Nope. Faith Ford? Don't think so. Jenny McCarthy? Well,
she's not on TV anymore but she sure could fan my fire. It's America's answer
to annoying anchorwomen, Martha Stewart.
(Thanks to this site, now we know why it's called a "hoe.")
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