Hillhouse Investigations, Inc.
Crop Circles Page
We've seen it before. Perhaps you're one of this nations most honorable men--the humble farmer, tilling the fields for a meager income, teaching your beloved family the beauty of the dirt, the earth, the cycles of nature, the yin and the yang of our brief existence. Or maybe you're a large multinational corporation, taking enormous (but discreet) tax breaks from our government to farm soybeans on thousands of acres cruelly ripped from the callused fingers of immigrant families and the poor. No matter who you are, no matter what your stature, you all have the same haunting fear:
Waking up one morning to find the fields of corn and wheat and barley and gypsum you raised with your bare hands (or, in the case of multinational corporations, the bare hands of your farm-wage immigrant lackeys), only to find your precious work marred by a bizarre, tetrahedron-like shape carved out of the very earth itself. From above, in one of our Hillhouse helicopters, it all makes a strange sense--A Sign, A Warning, A Dully Glittering Signal from Those Above Us to the Overlords Beyond.
But Hillhouse can help! You do not have to fall prey to those unknown and unknowable forces that our souls and our government try to pretend don't exist. Did you know:
--Mineral deposits of Uranium 235 and Carbon Oxide miles beneath the earth can attract The UnHoly Others?
--Skeletal remains from Ancient Indian Burial Grounds can call forth the Unknowing and the Unwanted?
--"Bad Vibes" from the turbulent 60's still exist and hover like clouds over large areas of unclaimed land still considered "groovy"?
Hillhouse Investigations has the knowledge and expertise to assess your problem and pinpoint its direct source. Whether it requires coating your soil with kryptonite flakes, napalming Easter Island, or having Indian Holy Men drive the Spike of Desire into the moist, willing Earth, Hillhouse is capable and prepared to get rid of your cryptic rune, hieroglyphs, or Symbol of The Infinite Cosmic Joining. Call today!