Hillhouse Investigations, Inc.
Evil Clown Page
Have you ever been to a circus and been threatened by a clown or sinister ringmaster? Well you're not alone! All across America and in much of Eastern Europe, carnivals and circuses have reported a veritable plague of clowns missing from their barracks. These outcasts of decent human society have, on more than one occasion, flung the yoke of circus-responsibility from their shoulders and gone rogue. They roam the countryside, living in trees and baying at the moon, waylaying hapless lovers in the back seats of their parent's DeSotos, strangling them with rubber chickens or asphyxiating them with cream-pies. Once simple personifications of childhood and happiness, clowns take a particularly deadly turn when they go feral. It is a measure of what is an extreme lifestyle to begin with that they are able to make the 360 degree turnaround from constant joy to unbridled evil. And what is it, you ask, that brings the Evil Clown into the sphere of Hillhouse Investigations? It is nothing less than the fact that they are so damn scary!
In addition, some reports have indicated that Evil Clown may have allied themselves with Unholy Powers, trading their lively soul for dark gifts; powers beyond the ken of ordinary clowns. One of our clients, a woman in Sarasota, Florida claims she was accosted by an Evil Clown that was able to reach into its own chest and pull out its still-beating heart. According to our client, the Clown offered the pulsating heart to her and begged: "Kill me, kill me with your pain!" Surely this was not something the clown learned at clown college!
Other claims from would-be victims have granted Evil Clowns bizarre abilities, ranging from breathing fire to sprouting razor sharp blades from the sides of their arms. Obviously, there is much yet to be learned in this area and we at Hillhouse Investigations can only do it with your help.
So please, if you've been plagued by this scourge of all scourges, call us today!