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/ Supremacy 1 / Supremacy-1.iso / DEMOS / M-N / MAGGIE16.ZIP / DATA / FURORE.DOC / FURORE.DOC
Text File  |  1995-01-11  |  4KB  |  96 lines
  1. 0660103030566
  2. 9[....................................................]
  3. Ç
  4.  
  5. àST-Ferment,adeveloperwrites..Ç
  6.  
  7. äSir,
  8.  
  9. Thegeneralflippancyandinaccuracyofagreatmanyofyour
  10. softwareandhardwarereviewsishistoricallyknownandwell
  11. documented,andhasbeenacceptedasanoccupationalhazardbythe
  12. majorityofdevelopersontheSTassuch..
  13.  
  14. Howeveryourmostrecentmissiveontheallegedlylife-threatening
  15. propertiesoftheHugeMetalBox(™)replacementtowercasinginthe
  16. OctoberissueofST-Fermentisunfortunatelymorethanour
  17. patiencecanstand..
  18.  
  19. Wewouldthereforetakethisopportunitytotakeissuewithsome
  20. ofthepointsraisedinyourso-called'review'ofourproduct..
  21.  
  22. 1)Theopeningcommentthatitwas"Apig-uglypieceofshit."
  23. -Wefeelthatthiswassubjectiveandunfair,andreflectedbadly
  24. ontheoverallbuildqualityoftheproduct..
  25.  
  26. 2)Itwassaidthatthe"Hugemassofmetalemitteddeadlygamma
  27. raysthatbroughtdownaircraftwithinafifteenmileradius."-
  28. Thisbroughtaboutanoverloadofourtechnicalsupportfacility
  29. astheywerebombardedwiththousandsofcallsfromdeeplyworried
  30. customers..Also,manypotentialpurchasersformedavigiloutside
  31. ouroffices,holdingupcrudelypaintedplacardsblamingan
  32. earlierversionoftheHugeMetalBox(™)forthefatalcrashat
  33. Lockerbiesomeyearsago..Wethinkthatmanyprospective
  34. purchaserswereactivelyputoffourchoiceofreplacementSTcase
  35. asaresult..
  36.  
  37. 3)Yourremarksregardinginstallationwhichwentthus,"A
  38. hideouslycomplicatedmassofmetalandcables,andoldpartsfrom
  39. disusednuclearreactors,whichifhandledincorrectly,could
  40. severyourleftthumbintheblinkofaneye.."
  41. -Thiscontradictstheactualeaseinwhichthiscasingcanbe
  42. used..No-onetoourknowledgehasyetlostanypartoftheirbody
  43. inusingoneofourproducts,evencontrarytotheinstructions
  44. suppliedwiththeproduct..
  45.  
  46. 4)Finally,theclosingcommentthat"Thisproductissuitablefor
  47. thosepeoplewhogoaroundwithsellotapeholdingtheirspectacles
  48. together,tokeeptheircopieson'TrainspottersMonthly'ina
  49. neatpile.."reflectsunfavourablyonourcustomerbase..Our
  50. customerscomeinallshapesandsizes,andpurchaseourproducts
  51. regardlessofage,gender,orsexualorientation,andwefeelthis
  52. remarkisinnacurateandunfair,andshouldbewithdrawnatonce..
  54. Generally,arapidapologyandcompleteretractionofthe
  55. offendingreviewinquestionisrequestedfromyou,otherwisea
  56. legalsolutionmayhavetobefound..
  57.  
  58. YoursBummed-off,
  59.  
  60. KarlBrunt-SolubleSystemsInc..
  61.  
  62.  
  63. üAnEditorwrites..
  64.  
  65. Hiit'sTrentyhere,
  66.  
  67. Oops,we'vegoneanddoneitagain,haven'twe!!
  68.  
  69. Slappedwristsandbedearlywithoutanysuppertothejournoin
  70. question,whohassincebeenkickedoffST-Ferment,andpromoted
  71. toworkonthe'Edge'magazine-Thatis,ifthatlotupthere
  72. actuallydoanywork!!(Trenty'slittlejoke!)
  73.  
  74. AnywayKarl,we'reverysorryaboutthecommentsmadeinour
  75. review,andwewouldsaythattheoldflippantstyle,which
  76. allowedinaccuraciesofthesortthatdistressedyoutocreepin,
  77. isnowhistory..ThisisanewlookST-Ferment,whereafactual
  78. andseriousapproachtoproductreviewsisnowpolicy,andour
  79. justlyfamoussenseofhumourwon'tinterferewiththesmooth
  80. runningofthereviewprocess..Youmayhavegotafeelingof
  81. deja-vuatthispoint,becauseIseemtorememberwriting
  82. somethingverylikethisparagraphlastmonthaswell,and
  83. probablyintheissuebeforethat,assomedeveloperorother
  84. roastedourballsoveraslowfireaboutourreviewsending
  85. completelythewrongmessagetothereaders..Againbecausesaid
  86. reviewconsistedofloadsofstrangeremarks,andlittleactual
  87. factualreview..
  88.  
  89. Anyway,we'llgetitrightoneday,I'msure..
  90.  
  91. LoveandKisses
  92.  
  93. Trenty..
  94.  
  95.  
  96.