Crosscultural Pages
e have started with the pages that seemed the most urgent, but will add more. Keep checking back with us. For Portuguese language programs in Brazil, please check Dißlogo Institute in Salvador, Bahia and the Georgetown University Program in Campinas, Sπo Paulo. The University of Florida has a program in Rio de Janeiro at the Instituto Cultural Brasil-Estados Unidos.
Birthday Parties
Body Language
Doing Business in Brazil
Food and Eating Habits
Reading Materials
To Market, to Market: Food Shopping, Etc. Brazilian StyleI'm sure we all know how difficult it can be sometimes to live in a foreign country or to share your life with someone who comes from a different cultural background, having to communicate in a language that's not yours by birth. There are so many reasons why people move around the world and each one of us, I'm sure, has a story or two to tell...For example, when I'm sad or angry, I don't feel like speaking English, which has always been our language at home.
My daughter, who was born in Rio de Janeiro, and visited Brazil every American summer as she was growing up, decided to find a "compromise" between the two cultures and went to live in Europe (which, she says, has the good parts of both worlds) for a few years. She's back in the US now, with a better understanding of this culture (her words, again) and more patience and tolerance for its quirks.
And, of course, there's the story of the word "amigo" or friend in English...For years, when I complained that I didn't have any friends, my husband would exclaim in frustration "what do you mean, you don't have any friends, you have lots of friends..." Until I finally realized we weren't talking about the same thing: "amigo" goes far deeper in terms of a relationship than friend, which is more like an acquaintance in Brazil.
Brazilians often resent what they perceive as the "coldness" of Americans, who are not accustomed to touching each other and to getting physically close to other people. Just observe two Americans trying to hug each other: they're standing so far apart that the only way they can do it is by leaning forwards from the waist up. My advice is: get used to that, it's not going to change. Make sure you surround yourself with other Brazilian expats...
On the other hand, the friendliness and warmth Americans encounter when they first arrive in Brazil may trick them into thinking that it's going to be easy to make friends there. Some may be disappointed, if they can't distinguish between genuine interest and casual socializing, which is several degrees warmer than in the US. Both men and women will stand closer to you and may touch you lightly during a conversation; when greeting you or saying good-bye, they will shake your hand or hug you, and women will kiss you on both cheeks. These behaviors do not constitute sexual advances and are one of the main reasons, actually, why some Americans decide to stay in Brazil. I confess that if I couldn't go to Brazil often, I would shrivel and die from human warmth deprivation. The downside of all this seems to be that I always get sick more often in Brazil...more colds, sore throats, etc...You can't win, can you?
Brazilians should not be too sensitive to the fact that Americans call themselves, well, Americans. Remember that the country's name is The United States of America (not North-America). Try finding a good word to describe the citizen of such a country! They've tried, early on, and couldn't come up with anything better. So, cut them some slack, will you?
Some of you have asked questions concerning the perception of manual labor as "demeaning" in Brazil. That is an unfortunate, to say the least, legacy of the days of slavery. Also, a lot of upper- and middle-class people still have maids and other servants to do the work for them, especially in northeastern cities, which are several degrees more conservative than the large cities of the South. But, as with other aspects of Brazilian society, that too is changing rapidly.
We also had complaints that what we wrote in these pages applies mostly to Rio de Janeiro. Not true. Of course, things DO differ from region to region, in terms of diet and behavior and attitudes, but we've tried to emphasize what's common all over Brazil. Small towns in the interior WILL be more conservative...use common sense and you'll get along just fine. I've traveled by myself all over Brazil, on airplanes and buses, staying at hotels and small inns, going out to eat by myself at night, taking taxis, buses and the metro. Sometimes a male escort will be advisable, but in general, Brazil is a country where women traveling alone.are perfectly safe and will not be harassed. People may stare at you, sometimes, but it's mostly out of friendly curiosity.
And last, but not least, a few words about women and marriage, work, children, etc. Expect differences among social classes and geographical locations; also, certain families may be more traditional than others. But a desire for change and economic realities have dramatically altered the picture in Brazil. A great number of women have college degrees and work outside the home. They are involved in politics (several large cities, including some in northeastern Brazil, have been run by women in recent years), banking and big business; more and more daughters are taking over their father's businesses; there are large numbers of doctors and scientists; the general attitude among my friends' daughters is one of "there's nothing I can't do." New divorce laws, changing attitudes towards single or separated women, extended maternity and paternity leaves, were very positive steps in the last two decades. Of course, we all wish Brazilian men had changed along...I see too many women trying to do it all, just like in the US.
If you have questions, suggestions or stories you'd like to share with us, go to our Crosscultural Form. We do not respond directly to you, but you may recognize your comments on this and other intercultural pages...We DO read you and add your ideas and suggestions periodically, so keep checking the pages!