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No Fragments Archive 10: Diskmags
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POWERMAG
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POWER16.MSA
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CHAT_UP.PWR
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1985-11-20
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8KB
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179 lines
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===================== CHAT-UP-LINES == CHAT-UP-LINES ======================
==================== CHAT-UP-LINES ==== CHAT-UP-LINES =====================
===================== CHAT-UP-LINES == CHAT-UP-LINES ======================
***************************************************************************
=========================== BY JAMES L. MATHEWS ===========================
***************************************************************************
Chat-Up-Lines...Probably just about ALL of us have used one at one point
and everyday, there are millions of people using one and over 60% of those
are going to make fools of themselves!
There are hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of different chat-up-lines. Some
range from the incredibly boring to the incredibly outrageous. Others
range from the incredibly corny and embarrassing to the incredibly trendy
and cool.
In this article, we're going to have a light look at chat-up-lines from
different types of male.
===========================================================================
THE -I JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT- MALE
Hiya luv. Whenever I look at ya, I get one hell of a bowel movement...Let's
go out with eachother!
===========================================================================
THE EMBARRASSED MALE CALLED JOHNNY
Hello...My name's Johnny...Er, when I say Johnny, that's my real name, I'm
not suggesting anything...Er...Erm...Oh dear!
============================================================================
THE VULGAR MALE CALLED JOHNNY
Alright luv? The name's Johnny, but if you prefer, we don't have to use
one! Just call me Rubber!
=============================================================================
THE SHY MALE
Er...Hello...Um...I was just wondering...Ah...It's nothing...Well...I
er...Erm...You look very nice tonight and er...I was wondering...Um...Well...
You see...I er...I'd like to...Well, I'd like for us to be...A...A...A
pair?!
=============================================================================
THE -I'll ASK HER NEXT TIME- MALE
Hi! We get on really well don't we? I really like you and I think you
like me...Er...So...Well, I was wondering if you'd er...Well, we go back a
long way and we've always liked eachother and I think...Er...That maybe we
should...Listen to Radio 4!
=============================================================================
THE -LOOK AT ME ASK THIS BABE OUT LADS- MATE
Yeah, er, could you just sort of er...Pretend that I'm asking you out and
you say yes straight away...I don't really want to go out with you...It's
just a sort of dare thingy ya see...OW! Why d' ya slap me?!
=============================================================================
THE -FULL OF HIMSELF- MALE
Yeah...How's it hanging babe? D' ya fancy a bit ofa snog wiv me...Bet ya
do don't ya...Don't worry luv, it's nothing to be ashamed of, all girls do!
Com' on, round my place or yours then? Cor, come on luv, I know ya wan'
it!
==============================================================================
THE -SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT- MALE
Hi there. That's a nice smile you got there, that's how I noticed you, I
bet you could get a dump truck down that mouth...Er...Na, I didn't mean it
like that, I just meant that you have a nice, big smile. Anyway, they're
nice earings, did you get them from your one of those things where you put
in 10p and you win a prize? Na, I didn't mean it like that, I just
wondered where you got them from. Hey, I like your jeans, I was going to
get a pair like that. They were only 3 quid in Oxfam and...
============================================================================
THE -PUT YOUR FOOT IN IT- MALE
Yo! How are ya? You look ggggggreat. I bet you get your looks from your
mum huh? Oh, you're mum was born horribly deformed with green, cucumber
looking things all over her face. You look so young though...I bet you're
only 30! Oh, you're 23...Ah, a very clever, mature 23 year old I bet
though...Oh, you have the official, lowest I.Q. in the world...Erm...It's
personality that counts though huh?...Ah, a split personality...Mmmm...
=============================================================================
THE OVER COMPLIMENTING (AND SLIGHTLY LEANED IN SEXUAL PREFERENCE) MALE
Oooh, I like your earings, your clothes are lovely. Oh, where DID you get
that blouse, it's adorable. Oh, I love the lipstick...That's a lovely new
shade, it must have set you back an absolute...FORTUNE! Mmmm, what a
lovely perfume, I have something very similar at home, oh and that eye
shadow, it really brings out your lovely blue eyes...Ah, and your purse,
what nice leather...I simply MUST get one...For my mum ofcourse! Oh, those
shoes are LOVELY and that skirt...
=============================================================================
THE TWO-TIMING MALE
Cor, you wouldn't mind us two beomcing a bit of an item would ya? That
woman I was just with...Ah, just a friend...The kissing? Yeah, we're very
good friends...Yes, I know it was a very passionate kiss but we really are
VERY good friends. Oh, you saw us in the car er...Ah...Well, okay, I'm an
honest guy, we USED to go out with eachother but it's over now, finished,
kaputt, over with...We're just friends now...Er...Why's she asking who's
place for the nightcap? Er...Oh, she lost her nightcap the other
night...Not that she lost it round at my house, er, you see...
============================================================================
THE -BLOODY HELL, LOOK AT HER- MALE
Well helllooooooooo!!!!! Wow, that dress sure does bring out the best
parts in you...Wow....Bloody hell...Cor...Woweee...I'm certainly getting a
reaction from my friend, William but if we go home with eachother, I'm sure
he'll let you call him Willy...Wow...That is one hell of a pair of
legs...Wow...That's a nice upper-half of the body too...Are they real?...
============================================================================
THE POSH MALE
Hello there young lady. You look absolutely spiffing and extremely radiant
on this glorious summers evening. The aroma of your perfume makes you
smell like the roses of June. Your face graces my eyes. Maybe, if you
feel the same way, we could court and then...Maybe even do something a bit
rebellious like watch a late night film together...Sure you can just go out
with me for my money if that's what you want!
=============================================================================
There's loads more so if you know any, why not send 'em in. Have you
noticed the actions that some would do too. Whilst a shy male asking out a
girl may be playing around with his hair or twiddling his thumbs whilst
looking down at the ground, a big, very forward bloke will be asking out a
girl whil thrusting a certain part of his body out into the view of
everyoby. Chat-Up-Lines are strange things and things that don't really
work. A chat-up-line is meant to get the girl liking you and going out
with you in just a few sentences yet in too many cases, a chat-up-line
results in you being hit, being screamed at or getting the girl to hate you
even more than you thought was possible.
Next time you're chatting a girl up, remember not to use any of the above
lines...Unless you like black eyes!